Time for some polite hellos.
– – – – –
I dunno how else to say this except to be blunt. I’m tired to hell of bickering, fights, petty snappishness, and other general unpleasantness in the comic comments. I don’t draw this comic to read people bitching at each other, and I am tired tired TIRED of intermittent drama storms on my website.
On the Lannister scale I’ve been a Tommen about the comments up to this point, occasionally and grudgingly escalating to a Jaime when called to do so. I’m going to scale up to a Joffrey and just start deleteing incendiary bitchy or otherwise “Dave Doesn’t Want To Read This” comments.
The Lannister Scale of Website Management: Tommen: Hands-off, don't do much. Jaime: Precision Strike on domain-threatening targets on an as-needed basis Joffrey: Moderate everything that causes dislike. Cersei: Full manual approval needed for all comments, nobody may speak without review.
I’m sorry for all the drama that you have to deal with, Dave. Personally I really love your comic. I’ve followed it since almost the very beginning, and I look forward to following it to the very end. Please, keep up the great work and don’t let yourself be discouraged.
Thank you. It’s not going to stop me from drawing the comic, but I am re-evaluating how hands-off I need to be with things.
Thank you for this, Dave. It had reached the point where I just wasn’t very enthused about reading your comic because of all of the bad stuff in the comments. And I love Selkie!
Reading the comments, for me, is part of the experience. An occasional offensive comment doesn’t bother me much, it’s the never-ending flames that respond to such that take the fun out of it.
Good call. Maybe I’ll start regularly reading the comments again…ahh, who am I kidding? The comic is great without the comments section. You keep writing, I’ll keep reading, and keepignoring the comments section.
The comments section has been one of my favorite refuges over the past several months — a friendly place with a lot of good people, the online group I’ve communicated the most with (of those that don’t contain people I know face-to-face), the ones I wanted to share a couple of my major projects with — and although I’ve seen some negative stuff a few times, I haven’t noticed it being all that bad.
But I’ve been too busy to do more than skim the past several updates. Obviously if Dave thinks it’s time to upgrade his policy, it must’ve gotten pretty acrimonious down there.
The comic without the comments? Well, it’s still a great comic; in fact, I’d rank it among the best for story and character. But the comments allow for a back-and-forth over the details, and that is what brings me to life. One of the most enjoyable times in my entire life was my time spent on the Sugar Quill, combing the tiniest details of Harry Potter (around the fifth book) and trying to predict what would happy next ð
Dave, I love your story. I kind of stopped reading the comments and participating in the dialogue due to the discord. i imagine it’s been an order of magnitude harder for you to read it. Keep doing what you’re doing. You rock.
Is that where you went? I had been noticing that some of the faces I’d grown used to weren’t there anymore, but I didn’t know who was missing or why ð
Hey there, Kilyle! I’ve missed the good conversation, but The discord was a big part of me tapping out for a spell. The other part is that I had family stuffs happening in real life. it’s been a turbulent few months. My own mother died last month, a week after we took the kids out for a visit.
I knew she was failing and had been fearing the fallout when she went. We grew up with some classic dysfunction. My siblings kind of went cannibal when my Dad died 15 years ago and I was braced for it to happen again.
It all turned out better than I’d hoped for. We’ve all had lots of therapy and growing up since then. And also more therapy. So reading strident ire in the comments of my fave online comic wasn’t a good thing. I’m glad you’re here.
I’m sorry to hear about your mother.
So sorry for your loss Bunny, we’ve missed you. Glad that everyone was in a better place to handle this loss than the first time, it’s never easy but it doesn’t have to be full of extra drama.
Welp. You shoulda expected this Andi. :l I hope Amanda doesn’t hear this. Cuz it might get ugly if she does.
Also her hair makes me think of Frankenstein’s bride for some reason. Maybe it’s cuz the red look like lightning stripes.
Yep it was to be expected which looking at someone’s else observation on Andi earlier stating she tends to flee then avoid conflict makes me feel she really is doing this for Amanda and not herself. I mean why knowingly subject yourself to the wrath of others if you normally avoid it.
As for Marie let me just empart the wisdom my grandmother gave me when my cousin’s mother self invited herself to my baby shower then proceeded to scream at me because she showed up late and everyone was leaving. “You invite the daughter expect the mother to show up.”
But how is making everyone more stressed good for Amanda? Cuz Mari is definitely not happy or anything. :/ And Amanda can definitely pick up on that when she sees it.
Hmm…yeah but Andi is still on thin ice and I doubt your cousin’s mom is in the same situation.
I mean it just seems a little unnecessary is all. But hopefully things work out for the best.
It’s Not unnecessary, Andi is trying to see that Amanda has her first Xmas with Family, and she is willing to face the wrath of Mari to do it. Notice she’s hanging back so that Amanda can have unfettered access to her new family without worrying what mom thinks. I willing to be dollars to donuts that Andi is doing this to avoid her own awful mother who apparently doesn’t even want to see her own granddaughter. This whole thing could be to try and circumvent Amanda asking “why haven’t you taken me to me Grandma yet?” and to keep her from falling back into the “I am unworthy and no one wants me” cycle.
Amanda is across the room crushing on Richard, she isn’t noticing Mari eyeballing Andi right now.
!! It’s conflict avoidance from the OTHER side?!!
I never even considered this!
You actually made my jaw drop O.0 It makes so much sense that she’s trying to avoid Amanda picking up on a sensitive topic that’s even worse than bearing up under the current level of strain. That changes my expectations for her tonight.
Maybe because her Mom might be feeling guilty. We have no proof of abuse. The bad thing she did was her telling Andi to give up Amanda without Todd’s consent.
Also this feels unnecessary. They could have had just Christmas at Todd’s place. Avoided a ton of drama and stress for everyone. Especially Amanda and Andi.
Yes I know. But sooner or later,Amanda is going to pick up on it. She is very good at picking up hate on her Mom. It’s like she has Mom-Hate-Dar. XD
True we never had a flashback of Andi with bruises so I can see where people think there wasn’t abuse in her home growing up, but I read between the lines and see a great deal of emotional abuse. That is still abuse. My dad never hit me but he did nearly drive me to suicide.
Andi didn’t need to be present for Amanda to spend time with this side of her family. Andi could have worked out an arrangment with Todd to allow Amanda to spend Christmas Eve with them and Christmas with her. Families, even fully happy to spend time with each other ones do this all the time.
Andi inserted herself in this situation with complete and utter disregard for how it would affect Todd’s family and their holidays. She used Amanda as a wedge to pull herself in, there are multiple reasons why from not wanting to be lonely to maintaining her delusion that she and Todd are going to get back together.
Yes there are times in life with split families where the adults have to suck it up for the kids best needs because there is no better option, but here there were better options, Andi just prioritized herself above the other adults involved.
And given what Andi has done to Mari and her family in the past, the fact that Mari didn’t outright refuse to allow Andi to be present is an example of extreme patience. People have been cut off from families for much less, reasonably so.
i agree, whether sheÂīs consciously aware of it or not, andi uses amanda to stay close to todd, and not just on christmas. sheÂīs constantly hanging out at his place, and if her surprise(!) at not being invited to join ‘as usual’ is any indication, iÂīd say she has managed to delude herself into believing their still together or at least getting there. which will NEVER happen. and i dread to think what sheÂīll do once that truth hits home.
call me a pessimist that only thinks the worst of people, but a part of me canÂīt help but point out that andi only discovered her maternal instincts AFTER todd brushed her off+realising how serious he was about having kids.
that her wanting to use amanda in aforemention way was at least partly the reason to get her kid back.
Very good idea on the take – and one I hadn’t heard mentioned before.
so what’s Tywin? Tyrion?
Tywin: Operate from remote location, intervene directly when needed
Tyrion: Embrace the bugs as a feature, drink more.
As someone who had a non-medicated childbirth at 2am on Sunday so she could hurry home and watch GoT, I upvote this comment straight to the top. I’m just glad you didn’t go full Cersei and burn the entire comment section.
Oh, Tyrion is deliciously effective at ruling as long as he had muscle to back him up, and he’d actually tone down the drinking when he had something engaging that big brain of his. He’s one of my favorites.
I also adore Peter Dinklage (the actor who plays Tyrion). He’s got the coolest voice and is funny as hell:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwpmqMnngRk
So what would Cersei level be?
Cersei tier would be a complete block on comments, requiring each and every one to be approved first, effectively nuking spontaneous back-and-forth conversation.
Sorry it’s come to that Dave. It was only a matter of time, given the circumstances though. Although maybe it’ll be a bit more lighthearted and able to actually have discussions nos. I dunno.
Andi’s style choice with the dye pattern really subs me the wrong way lol I can’t figure out what she’s going for. At first I thought lightning bolts, but they’re not symmetrical at all, not that lightning bolts need to be, but… they don’t seem to have rhyme or reason to them. Plus, the weird puke green/yellow isn’t a good look with orange streaks. I know she’s looking for a dye style for this hair style, but man, I’m not sure she’s gonna find on that looks good. Maybe just the tips or some casual streaks?
Also, holy crap Mari common now don’t be a Debbie Downer!
Well. She’s being civil. I kinda can see her reasoning for why she’s annoyed. But do you really think she’s going to be Mary Poppins after Andi invited herself over without much notice? :/
Nah, but being passive aggressive with kids present is kinda petty and not very bright. I get she’s upset about it though. I just hope she keeps a lid on it for the sake of the kids.
And who knows, maybe Selkie’s mom will be a part of their lives in the future. I dunno if that means visitation rights for her mother or visitation rights for Todd, but I’m sure that won’t be the most chipper experience for their family either, depending on what type of person Selkie’s mom ends up as. I mean, if she wants to outright claim Selkie back… who knows how that’s gonna work.
I know. But I think she’s trying. It’s not easy but she might be trying to be nicer for Amanda and Selkie’s sake at least.
Well when they’re around. XD Obviously. Heh.
You’re right about her having a good reason for her annoyance though.
Yeah. I really hope things go as smoothly as Andi hopes.
I think what’s going on with the streaks is they are the undyed roots and she’s doing the two side-parts with the top hair combed up thing. And hey, my hair is that color right now, with Turquoise tips. It’s called Electric Lizard and it glows under blacklight! However my natural hair is dark, I agree that it is perhaps not a good color for a redhead (even though greens are usually a good contrast, that kind of yellow-green when your hair is orange-red doesn’t work)
It looks sorta like a Christmas themed Frankenstein’s bride. But cooler.
Sorry it’s come to that. I had to look at the last comic to see what happened and…wow.
You tell a great story I look forward to every update; please don’t let the comment-drama get you down.
On another note…gooooo angry gramma!
1. I shall endeavor to keep all of my future comments on a Tommen-level of civility.
2. I wouldn’t touch the eggnog or wine if I were you, Andi. Heaven only knows what they might be disguising the taste of…
Never touch the eggnog. Eggnog is gross and inappropriate for anyone to drink.
Eggnog, when done right, is food not drink.
I’m just kidding, of course. Actually it’s both.
Awwww – Homemade eggnog was one of the best things of spending part of Christmas on the farm with grandparents. (That and later seeing grandpa get angry and start cursing in Gaelic. A more melodic language, used so violently – it always made me giggle). Depending on who brewed the eggnog would depend on how much you could drink when little, but we all got at least a taste.
I just find Eggnog to be too thick for my tastes, I don’t care for all that cinnamon flavor and that sugar makes me feel it cling to the back of my throat. I don’t mind if other people like it, the more the merrier for you. I just find it to be en entirely unpleasant drink. You have your eggnog, I’ll drink hot cocoa or hot apple cider.
Hey Dave, personally I’m all for you deleting any comments you don’t want to read. Whatever has you continue to make awesome content I support.
i so knew it! (almost)mother-in-laws always know how to make it clear that youÂīre NOT welcome in a way thatÂīll sound totally harmless to little ears present…
as for the comment section, as someone whoÂīs only been reading selkie for about 2 weeks but has been reading other comics for several years, iÂīve got to say that i was quite surprised at how many incredibly lengthy discussions this perfectly harmless comic generated…..while i enjoy a lively debate about the characters+plot with the best of them, its beyond me how some socio-cultural/critical/political rants ended up here. no wonder you feel the need to interfere before things get out of control….
Yeah up until yesterday I had a very light mostly hands-off moderation policy, because I feel a freedom to say what you wish without fear of an admin removing your words is important to promoting conversation. I still think that. But it’s just gotten so far out of hand so many times now that I can no longer justify such a lax philosophy.
well, at least Todd got the relevant info to his mom/dad… her second word bubble in the third panel implies that she KNOWS that Todd didn’t invite her directly, like we thought that that’s what she thought from five strip’s ago (wow that sentence was convoluted… hope you could follow it) now i just hope that she takes Theo’s advice and keeps it civil… won’t anyone please think of “The Children?? ” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RybNI0KB1bg
I had a feeling this would be where Andi shows up. Anyway, Dave, given the comic being as popular as it is, you’re probably going to have a heck of a time extinguishing the flames entirely.. I hope I’m wrong..
I find this remarkably calm given its been, what, just a couple months since they found out Amanda wasn’t dead and stuck in a series of bad foster homes and orphanages? Even being tolerated to enter that home after that stunt is impressive.
It’s called consequences, Dear Andi. Hell hath no fury like a mother’s rage. You will get that yourself the longer you have a child (or you probably already do).
Hey, Dave – I’m so sorry about that. Hope you don’t have to behead anyone. Maybe it’d be better to be a different character, though… If not, stay away from the pie!
The pie was fine. It’s the goblet that the poison was in. Oh, strangler crystals.
Andi, meanwhile, should definitely keep distance from all foods here. Because they’ll probably include her least favorites just as a special spontaneous treat.
Dear lord, I go to work, then sleep all day, come to check on the comic and was hoping to see the further adventures of Richard and Little Orphan Annie and I see madness. Ahh well, at least I still have chicken.
As much as I like the comments at times you’re pointing out exactly why I rarely leave comments. I think open discussion, when civil, is good for a comic. Comments stop being useful when they become toxic, though. I’m glad you’re going to moderate more. Thanks.
You know you’re in trouble when a mother (anybody’s mother) uses your full name.
Just wanted to chime in thanking you, Dave, both for the comic itself and for a less heavily contentious comments section in future. I admit I’ve been less attentive to the comments as my due date grows ever nearer as just being a little too … intense for me these days.
The comments don’t matter, Dave. What matters is you, your great story, and your ever-evolving skill at drawing. Trolls, drama, fire starters will always be there but what you have to see truly is that majority of us are here because we absolutely love this comic…and no racial epithets or curse words or unhappy people are ever going to change that.
In other news, Andi is about to get her verbal comeuppance by Todd’s mom for smashing herself into a very delicate situation …and a part of me is squealing with glee inside, and the other is going “oh..poor Andi ð ”
-that- is how you know your writing is provocative and thought I catching. I know I comment on the art a lot but really I have nothing to say for the story because it doesn’t need any improvements. It’s been fantastically honed from the beginning.
I love the idea of the Lannister scale of moderation.
Just wanted to say that i really enjoy the comic, but usually don’t engage in comics of any sort. Don’t feel discouraged by a very small vocal minority that likes to be annoying, there are a lot of people that just read the comic, but don’t really feel like commenting.
I love your comic, and if the comments make you enjoy drawing it less, just get rid of them entirely. I know that many content creators just don’t bother with having a comment section at all, as it seems to produce a lot of stress for little gain.
Please do not let the comments stop you from creating the comic that i love.
Oh there’s no danger of me stopping the comic over it. But I have been fighting the urge to just disable comments entirely, which I’d rather avoid because I love feedback and I like giving people a quick and easy way to discuss the strip amongst themselves. I’ve simply been too lenient on what is and is not permissable chatter, and that’s going to have to change.
I don’t know what your style of censorship is when you get to censoring comments, but I hope it doesn’t just erase the comment entirely. “This comment has been THUMPED with the Giant Stick of Thumping”-style deletions make it easier to figure out what was going on and who was responding to whom, when people show up late to the party. (Like me. I’m often late to everything.)
I’m kinda paranoid about things disappearing online. And like, with a particularly offensive YouTube video, my position was that it ought to have been maintained on YouTube because people ought to be able to see it for themselves and judge it for themselves, not wonder what the fuss was all about.
I don’t think that here; it’s nice to keep things more civil. But it’s important to be able to see the flow of how things went, and have a good chance of guessing what happened.
Until yesterday I’d have agreed with you. But I’m just going to make distressing commentary sight unseen going forward. I don’t want it around anymore.
This whole plotline of expecting Andie to not spend Christmas with her daughter boggles my mind
So… there’s the crowd of people going “Don’t let Andi into the house of the family she traumatized for eight years.”
And then there’s the people who are outside that crowd, like you, and they appear to think our position is “Tell Andi to take a hike while we have all the Christmas.”
I never for a moment expected that Andi wouldn’t be able to spend SOME Christmas with Amanda. Split Christmas celebrations are a thing! They happen all over the place, by thousands if not millions of families, every year! They happen due to divorces and they happen due to mixed families and they happen due to large families where people try to include everybody in the celebration, but can’t manage to get everyone into the same county, let alone the same house.
The part that boggles MY mind goes like this:
“Hey, I know Andi hurt you, but couldn’t you put it behind you for the sake of the kids? Think of how happy they’ll be if we could just be friendly for one evening!”
Because that is EXACTLY the line of reasoning that is used on battered women, and victims of rape by family members. “Don’t rock the boat, it just makes things uncomfortable for everyone.”
“Hey, I know Uncle Jack raped you, but can’t you just play nice for one night? And stop glaring daggers at him, it’ll upset his kids.”
“Hey, I know Jeannie put you in the hospital, but can’t you forget about that horribleness for one night and celebrate with us? Let’s make one big happy for Christmas!”
“Hey, I know Yvonne manipulated the courts to steal your kids and you only just managed to get visitations twice a year (Christmas and birthdays), but is it too much to ask that Yvonne could enjoy the celebration with us? I mean, your kids are so used to being with her, it would be weird if she was excluded.”
It is beyond the pale to expect that the people who understand what Andi has done would be able to just bury that for a night and pretend it’s all water under the bridge.
Dave, can we get upvoting or liking capability here? ‘Cause I wanna upvote this 27 times.
Fun fact, I tried implementing an Upvote/Downvote mod at one point, but it broke the comments ability to use hyperlinks.
I think the biggest problem with this is that Andi is, by law currently, the sole parent to Amanda. That and the fact that many people believe Amanda either would not go or would be afraid without her mom and clam up and be a brat without her. But Amanda, as it is currently, is Andi’s child. Even if Todd is recognized as the father, he doesn’t have any legal rights as of yet. Amanda lives with Andi and Andi is the one with custody.
I’m not saying it’s right, but it is what it is right now. Amanda would most likely throw a huge fit if Andi wasn’t there. She already shoots daggers at Todd for how he talks to Andi. It would’ve made more sense for Andi and Amanda to have their own Christmas Eve and Christmas together honestly. I kinda get the feeling Amanda would definitely choose Andi over Todd. Besidea, it’s clearly a bad idea for Amanda and Selkie to be left alone together. Todd was oblivious to the tension. Andi pays close attention to Amanda’s actions and reactions because she’s worried about her temper and her comfort zone.
See, when it’s described that way, I can go with that. Most of the time it’s been “Todd needs to suck it up!” Or “Why can’t they just share Christmas?”
When put it in a way that sounds like Amanda might turn everything into her own version of Home Alone, I can handle that explanation. I still think what Andi did was wrong, but she is an effective translator.
I feel like this is currently a less-than-adequate but still probably the best solution to a problem that was caused by both of them.
Because while I agree, after the crap Andi pulled the rest of the family’s totally justified in not having anything to do with her beyond necessary? She’s still the one person for whom Amanda is the first and only priority. And since Amanda has some seriously deep abandonment issues going on here and they’re tied up with Selkie, who is the grandkid/niece everyone knew about for at least a month or two before finding out Amanda was alive? Yeah, she does actually need Andi there, Andi is her one known safe person as the Mom Who Came Back (and there’s going to be a crapshow when the details come out THERE too but for now let’s keep the girls not living together and Amanda in therapy first, let’s not destabilize her further the moment she starts having positive steps.) Also, it means if Amanda starts going after Selkie, there is an option for Andi to take Amanda home and deescalate things fast rather than Todd having to call her over or leave and drive her back.
Furthermore, I’m not entirely sure from the way Todd and Andi were talking back before the trip to the De’Madeia household if it was ever made clear in the first place that Amanda was emphatically invited over for Christmas Eve/Christmas and Andi was not. Like it is entirely possible Todd assumed Amanda would of course be coming over for Christmas with his family, talked about this, and took Andi going along with this as her accepting that Todd would take Amanda for Christmas while Andi thought the invitation was being extended to her because of Amanda. (Todd’s ability to miss cues that are obvious to us about things like “I’m not sure about having this child” or “Amanda keeps treating me like craps” has been a long-recurring flaw. Ditto for Andi’s host of issues) And that means there was no chance for Andi to say “I want to spend Amanda’s and my first Christmas together ACTUALLY TOGETHER” before the conversation, there was no time to establish a viable alternative for Amanda to meet the extended family and let Andi make plans for a Christmas just the two of them so she wouldn’t have to intrude, and there doesn’t appear to have been a big talk about the ongoing issue between the sisters.
Would Andi have gone with that option? Would Todd have? Who knows. Andi is not known for her healthy coping skills. But it does strike me as important and as a mutual failing on both of their parts that they’re still falling into this split parenting thing and didn’t talk about the plans in detail, because it’s clear to me they’ve had misunderstandings like this for the entirety of their relationship.
And I would like to go on record as uprating this comment. A very perceptive analysis.
I want to second this. A very good assessment; it’s a complex situation and both Todd and Andi have flawed communications, with each other and outside their own dynamic. Both Amanda and Selkie need a safety net for joint interactions, and without Andi present, the Smith household would not feel safe for Amanda. And it’s going to take a lot of time, effort, and therapy to turn that around; expecting it right now would be unrealistic, I think.
Didn’t Andi put Todd’s name on the birth certificate for father? That should guarantee some rights.
(Well, depending on state. My statement on guarantee would be (IMHO) an ideal world – which most places are not ideal, and still may only acknowledge the mother).
Yeah, he’s recognized as the father, but Andi still legally has custody and more parental rights than Todd currently. Even so, in a legal battle, I’m not sure Todd would have a whole lot of weight against Andi. The court may take into consideration what Andi had done, but in most cases that would only garner sympathy with a jury and to my knowledge custody cases rarely involve a jury. What Andi did prior wouldn’t really factor into the current situation. Todd’s lawyer could argue that Andi’s previous actions could be flighty and irresponsible and therefore possibly have a negative impact on Amanda if she were to pull something like that again… but Andi’s lawyer would most likely argue that Andi was young, hormonal and had no support as an unwed teenage mother and play up how her own mother has a large role in what happened.
Basically, I don’t see a situation where Andi would lose the case. She’s not abusive and she provides adequate housing and living for Amanda. Mother’s tend to have a lot more weight in custody battles than the father’s do. Even if Todd is an upstanding citizen and father, he doesn’t really have a case against Andi based on her past. He’d need current evidence against Andi, none of which he has. He could possibly use how she ran off at the aquarium, but that’s mostly hearsay unless he involves Pohl and his family as witnesses, but they could also be considered an unbiased party who are friend’s with Todd… sadly, Todd has no real chance of winning.
Besides that, Todd may be a jerk to Andi, but I don’t think he’d actually seek to take Amanda away from her. I know you never implied that, I kinda just went off on my own little tangent lol
Given she immediately gave Amanda up for adoption? QUESTIONABLE, incredibly. Especially given Andi’s mental state at the time and Patricia’s potential input.
Like I said, her lawyer would argue it in favor of her case. She was a young, impressionable, unwed, hormonal, scared teenage mother whom her mother had heavy sway over. Honestly, it’d garner her a LOT of sympathy in most cases. A young single mother trying to do right by her traumatized daughter? Sure, Todd’s lawyer could try and argue against her and use that against her, but it’d just fall back on Todd and make him look like a monster. Todd has a good job, bigger place and another daughter. Andi lives on her couch in order to let her daughter have her own bed and bedroom. She supplies an ample living environment for Amanda even though it looks as if she’s much worse off than Todd.
It all stacks up in Andi’s favor and her lawyer would very much paint Andi as an abuse victim who was manipulated by her mother, who now has her life together and wants to reclaim her troubled daughter and give her a better life, despite the odds. Not to mention her lawyer would paint Todd as a real jerk who’s trying to spiteful get back at his ex and take everything from her despite the odds she’s against with her mother disowning her for reclaiming her child. He’d label Todd as a monster with a personal vendetta against his ex who didn’t live up to his standards of adoption. He’d use Todd’s teenage years against him. How he failed to see how unhappy and depressed Andi was. How when he decided to become vegetarian he initially looked down on people. He’d claim Todd is an egotistical narcissist who just wants to hurt Andi. I mean, he knows Amanda bullies his other daughter, why else would he want her around if not to spite Andi? Especially when he was bullied as a child? Let’s not forget how aggressive and explosive his temper was as a child and even now. A lawyer could easily say Andi was frightened of even him and what he may do to her had she not lied… that she feared for her own safety, but is a brave soul who wanted her daughter to know her father, regardless of her own safety.
Now, none of this is true, but a lawyer could easily lay out a case against him to make Todd look like the unstable parent who’s just doing this to jab at Andi and pull her down. Not to mention, Andi would never seek full custody so Todd would be the one initiating this, dragging his child through a messy court case to split her from her recently found mother, further degrading both the mother and child. This is what a lawyer would do. They would drag Todd through the mud and make him seem like a monster while Andi is the victim on all fronts. Todd’s lawyer could try to do the same to Andi, but Todd has a loving family and friends as his support and Andi has no one. In a case where both are basically making jabs and circumstancial evidence and character profiles at best, Andi wins the sympathy card, even WITH the fact that Todd thought his daughter was dead for so long. Play it up on Andi being a scared, unwed teen and I would bet money that most people would find it in them to justify and forgive her. Of course, they would think differently if it happened to THEM, but not one is going to worry about that, people human beings are vain and fickle creatures. We are also trained to believe men are rarely the victim.
Again. None of this I agree with, but a lawyer would have a field day making Todd a spiteful, aggressive monster.
Yeah, I think it’s incredibly likely that if this went to court, it’d be a big dang mess. I also think it’s not what either of the girls needs right now (seriously, get Amanda in some therapy stat and keep them in the slow bonding but SEPARATE setup, because until she lets go of the idea of Selkie as The Reason For Her Suffering they are not going to be able to cohabitate,) so it’s a good thing they wouldn’t.
Especially since I’d need to tag trawl again, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Todd’s name WASN’T on the old birth certificate* – if so I would expect the orphanage would have found that doing a background check for at least ONE of them, and Lillian had no idea until the art gallery – and that means that he has no legal rights right now. GUARANTEED mess, there. (Which… might well end up being a problem, if Amanda has another crisis when she finds out the whole “I told your father you were dead” thing, but let’s hope that one isn’t completely exposed for a while, no one’s equipped to handle it least of all Amanda.)
* Complicating matters, of course, is the fact that Amanda’s birth certificate likely changed when the awful first family adopted her, but even then given what happened since and the fact Andi could prove she was Amanda’s birth mother, there should still be an original original birth certificate somewhere.
Andi stated flat-out that she has a copy of the original birth certificate with an empty ‘father’ slot and it was (very heavily) implied that she was going to fill in Todd’s name ASAP. So, by this point it is very likely he’s on it.
First of all, this comic has made me wish to dye my dull brown hair into a signal flare bright pink/red. I thank you for that, because it’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Secondly Andi’s new hairstyle makes me think of my sister’s hair cut. I would offer for the dye suggestion to Andi, if the fourth wall could be broken, to do one big block of color down the center, like a skunk stripe. Thirdly I still am enjoying this ride, keep up the awesome work.
That would look pretty dang awesome. Especially if you did an outrageous cut too. :3
Do it! Do it do it Doooo eeeet! That would be totally awesome. Color is temporary and you can dye it back, hair grows back, have fun and go crazy with it! If you get Hot Hot Pink by Manic Panic it glows under blacklight.
Manic Panic is pretty cool. Looks like silly putty though and smells like it too. XD So I’d be careful with it.
Y’know what, David? It’s your comic and your site. If you want to take out flame threads, you certainly have the right. I would ask that you put up a “This was removed because…” I have a problem with another website I read about magic where a thread will disappear and we’ll all sit there wondering what the hell happened!
On the topic of the comment section – bans, whether temporary or not, for those who ignore or continually backtalk clear warnings might be the best approach. If you can in this type of comment section.
Hugs Dave – I’ve been finding I’m ignoring the comments if they are too long and a bit raw.
If it gets too much for you Dave, it might be worthwhile appointing a mod who can edit it for you, so you can concentrate on the good stuff and doing the comic itself.
Exactly. Find a moderator that can handle the comment section for you (but don’t relinquish all control, in case they get too big for their britches).
I’ve been pretty hands-off in the comment section myself… since arguments flare up in the blink of an eye. o.O And I don’t like getting involved in those, especially since I don’t read the comments, I don’t respond religiously. So I usually scroll past them and read the comments more… aimed towards the comic or plot. Not petty whining about ‘he-said, she-said’ BS. I swear it’s like a soap opera or a bad family reunion on here sometimes.
So Dave, I COMPLETELY understand why you’re being more strict with the comment moderation. It’s unfortunate that on the Internet, namely comment sections, people argue at the drop of a hat. I miss the days where it was filled up with people talking about the future of the comic, like before the reveal of Amanda being Todd’s biological child. So many people were wondering if it was going to be her, or Heather, Sandy, or even Georgie. Or when Selkie’s shirt was stolen. So many people wondered who did it, if it was Tony, Amanda, Heather, or even a government operative. I honestly can’t remember the last time I saw a conversation along those lines… SORT OF did with Plo Quar before her background was revealed on screen, but lately everyone gets all at each other’s throats about things not even related to the comic. That’s where I try not to engage anymore… it feels like a lot of people lose their civility in comment sections nowadays.
I hope it doesn’t become too much of a headache for you, Dave. >.<
http://littledemonlorne.tumblr.com/post/150017919085/selkie-from-the-awesome-webcomic-of-the-same Did a little fan art. :3
Hey that’s cute!
Thanks. :3 I just thought pastel goth would look cool on Selkie.
I’d like to share this in the blog with the next comic, do you want me to link to your tumblr when I do?
I would love it. :3
Ooh wow, that’s really cool! I love the hair and I love the outfit too. First glance I mistook the hearts as fish. XD Very cute all the same!
That was oddly what I was going to do but I wasn’t sure how they’d look. X3
Thank you for doing the comic, Dave. And for increasing the level of moderation (moderating?) even though it must be a pain. I daresay there are a number of us who love the comic but stopped reading the comments due to the, let us say, histrionics. I think CJ Cherryh likened her blog/comment section to her living room, saying something like, “If you wouldn’t say it in my living room, don’t say it here,” which seems like a reasonable analogy. Please know that probably many more people support your decision (and are breathing a sigh of relief) than will write a comment about it.
First time comment-er. Maybe only time; we’ll see.
What is it about online comics that bring out Trolls? I haven’t seen the discord you refer to because I haven’t read the comments before; but I infer that it’s among commenters; not regarding the comic.. But over on the Washington Post site where I read a lot of mainstream comics, the commenters are True Trolls; cutting down the artists talent, the dialog, saying just horrible, horrible things. What joy do these people get from being so very, very mean? Why not just *Read Something Else* if you don’t like it So Much?
While I’m here, I’m going to say that I’m continually delighted by the improved skill in your drawing– the characters and story would keep me coming back anyway; but the facial expressions and general skill level has gone up steadily since Selkie began. Thank you.
Thank you for voicing this, Dave.
I almost always read comments on webcomics I like. I honestly really enjoy hearing different perspectives. I love reading Selkie but I have, on occasion, been really upset by things I have read here. It seems to be a trend that a reader will make a valid point in a polite way… only be be ‘attacked’ by certain regulars. This apparent toxicity has often put me off posting here even after writing up a long comment! ð …I had even wondered if your lack of intervention was a sign of approval.
I don’t understand why some people have to be so toxic when expressing views! I, personally, can have VERY strong opinions but I don’t let them come out when I write online.
It’s really unfortunate because this atmosphere doesn’t represent Dave’s comic at all. Selkie is about humanity, diversity and second chances.
“âĶI had even wondered if your lack of intervention was a sign of approval.”
My lack of intervention was a belief that people need to feel free to share opinions, even unpopular ones, if meaningful conversation is to happen. The only people I’ve blocked are those actively creating trouble.
But that laxness has caused unwanted consequences one time too many and I no longer feel I can justify permitting it.
Dave I love this comic, like really really love it, it speaks deeply to me on many levels. I’ve been reading since nearly the beginning, back in the black and white days, I don’t remember how I found it but it has been on my Bookmarks ever since. The characters are compelling and the unfolding story is complex and deep and I’ve loved watching your art style grow and evolve. That you are still approachable and interact with your fans and have such a lively comment section is another thing that is a huge draw for me. I want to apologize again for the time I went off on someone, it was a while back and not related to the latest kerfuffle, but I felt bad that you had to personally tell me to go cool off. But I did go cool off, and voluntarily stayed out of the comments for a week. I’ve tried to be civil and stay out of other people’s fights since then (even when I had a really good point or comeback) and be mindful of how my words will be read by people who can’t actually “hear” my tone of voice.
I hear you. This “adulting” kind of sucks, doesn’t it. (They didn’t tell me about that part when I was stewing as a kid, “well wait until I’m grown up too”. Oy vey.)
But drama makes things interesting.
Only in stories
Stories are based on real life.
I’ll go against the grain and state I think communities are better unmoderated. Would rather have real interactions with folks than live in a carefully cultivated safe-space bubble where people get into trouble for being mean.
All I saw yesterday was some general bickering – nobody was doxxing or making IRL threats – just expressing how they feel.
Seems like everyone is in red (girls) or green (guys) except for Andi, who is apparently wearing a purple sweater under her jacket. Interesting way to highlight her “otherness” in the midst of the gathering ð
I was just about to point this out, except I was only thinking about the gender implications :p. But it’s a great directorial choice and a neat way to think about it.
You could take it one other direction and look at the tones. Everyone is wearing dark relaxing or pastel shades, and they are calm and relaxed. Mari on the other hand is still rather angry at the moment and is wearing a harsh bright, some would say hostile shade of red.
Thank you for such a wonderful comic.
If you don’t like the comments, you have the right to completely delete them. If people can’t learn to be nice, you have the right to shut down the comments totally! I’m sorry if it has to come to that, but if that’s what people are making happen, so be it!