Yikes. So hostile. Dude was just making a joke. All I ever see from you is negativity towards other users. Why do you even come here? Dave, maybe start banning these trolls?
I know I’m not one to talk, since half of what I say is harshly received and causes people to snap at each other, but, at the very least I think maybe asking Lady to dial it back with the condescending remarks of people who differ from their opinion isn’t too much to ask.
No, no. What he said was not necessary and further down he’s being over the top completely. I just meant in general, but this was a really poor example, since you didn’t really do anything here.
I did yesterday and it got ignored and was met with contempt and sarcasm. I was fairly nice about it. Since they tend to ignore people with valid points and opinions and get very upset at general disagreement, I just thought maybe it might be a good idea for Dave to ask them and anyone else, myself included, to tone down the arguments and rudeness in the comments section. Maybe they’ll listen to Dave.
And to think, when I came on originally, I thought I was going to become the bad guy because I have a tendency to make unvarnished opinions and statements. Personally I like LadyObvious and think there’s nastier commenters here.
Yes. Hostile. Being annoyed with an unfunny joke means I should be banned. Totes means I’m a troll because it isn’t a stale,unoriginal joke that’s not funny.
Partly. I had done the “blah blah relevant words blah blah other relevant words” schtick occasionally prior, but the use of “something” is definitely from Family Guy.
Damn, why do you even post here? Anytime I see you interact with someone, it’s a negative interaction. Do you ever even leave your house? Because I imagine if you did you’d start a fight with every person you see.
Or maybe you’re just trolling. Dave, how about a ban?
How about you think before you open your mouth (or, in this case, hitting your keys and clicking enter)? That joke wasn’t funny, original, or necessary, and yet you’re harping on someone else for being hostile?
Dylan, Do you ever think before you type? You have been here long enough to know she’s a sensitive person, and you made a rude joke. Then you just made some really nasty below-the-belt insults.
Oh, I know that rule. I’m giving him the doubt he isn’t. He’s not being obnoxious enough—just rude. Now, if he goes over the top to be an ass? Yeah, I’ll ignore him.
Unfairly pushed around? “Your name suits you” with ” So fresh. So funny. So necessary to say. Thanks.”
That’s not being unfairly pushed around, that is being rude.
It isn’t like she was insulted (at first). She responded with sarcasm..for no reason. Who cares if she’s hears it a million times? If she’s going to make her name “Lady Obvious” of course someone is going to respond that way when she says something OBVIOUS.
Like SpringPop said before….maybe she needs to dial it down a few notches. No one is here to start problems. We are here to enjoy a comic and talk to each other about said comic. That’s it.
If you don’t want light hearted jokes about your name that you’ve heard 1000 times, change it. Don’t be rude about it. No one deserves unwanted aggression for YOUR name choice.
Wow. Thanks for this. Totally necessary. Like the joke isn’t BORINGLY STALE UNORIGINAL AND UNNECESSARY. Like that makes it fine. I mean he could have minded his business. But I guess since he said it was a joke that makes it fine. Thank you for this.
I respond to everything with sarcasm in real life. That’s what some of us do. It’s what I do. Sarcasm isn’t always an attack or negative thing, sometimes it’s just the way people talk.
I don’t see why she should change her name to be honest. Maybe resign herself to the jokes she’s heard ten thousand times since you can’t determine how people are going to react to you. But change? I don’t think so.
We have Team Andi and Team Tod, don’t tell me we’re going to start having Team LadyObvious, Team Polite.
I would also like to add that when she responded with Sarcasm she was told she should be banned. Whether you think she was being rude or not, that is far more rude and is an unnecessary attack. So, as the afore mentioned post, if there must be a Team LadyObvious, I’m on it.
Serious question here, meant to better understand you, and NOT meant to demean you in anyway, but have you been diagnosed with some degree of autism spectrum disorder? I only ask because viewing some of you more poorly received comments through that lens makes it more understandable (to me at least).
And, I mean, my name is Miles. How many times, since I was a child, do you think I have heard “How many Miles did you go today?” and all the variations thereof?
When it is your real, given name, society demands you suck it up and take it, because regardless of how funny, how annoying, how juvenile it is, YOU become the bad guy if you react poorly to it.
Your name is a moniker you’ve selected yourself. The unfunny jokes, you are at least partially to blame for them. As for me, my parents are the ones partially to blame for them, as well as the perpetrators.
In this case, your first two reactions were NOT (in my opinion) over the top or overly hostile. They’re kind of how I react to jokes regarding my name in real life. I say “Ha ha ha, that is a knee-slapper” in a monotone voice, then I slap my knee in an exaggerated way, and finally smile to show I am not taking it seriously (regardless of how I ACTUALLY feel about the “joke”)… usually my reaction gets far more laughs that the “joke” and it defuses any potential situation.
Unfortunately, this is a text only forum, so you can’t really get any of that to read through just text. 90% of the meaning one would get through a real life, face to face, encounter is simply lost.
Don’t blame your parents; there are NO names that other kids won’t find a way to make fun of.
Another good reaction might be as in the Monty Python Travel Agent sketch. (Mr Bounder) “Yes… I expect you get people making jokes about your name all the time, eh?” (Mr Smoketoomuch) “No, I’d never noticed it before.”
Well, at least my name isn’t Mark Clark (an unfortunate kid in the 3rd grade class next to mine), or Ryan Brian (a former roommate, and the most normal and zen master type person ever).
Of course, my family name can be used to enhance the standard joke, but that one is actually rare, so I at least give some small measure of respect to those who come up with an uncommon variation.
I nearly got myself named Panther Scott because of a stoned father. You think Miles is bad, being the new kid and named Panther Scott? I would have been spending more time in the emergency ward and juvenile detention than anyone should have to with that name.
I’m glad my mom had the sense to say no, because not a jury in the world would have convicted the murder of my father with that name.
Oh, I grew up incredibly tough… in the sixth grade, I was still smaller than the kindergarteners, and so I kinda had to.
Any ER visits I had were generally from misadventure, and not fights… I may be covered in blood after fighting, but only small amounts of it would have been my own.
Plus, man, Panther Scott sounds like a cool name! It’s like Levi Fury (I knew someone named that, his legit given and family name).
Anyone that wanted to fight you because of a name like that was just extremely jealous!
I agree now it sounds like some sort of superhero name. But kids are mean, they will go after anyone for any reason. I think I would have came out of it either a motivational speaker talking against bullies, or a super villain controlling mass troops to destroy any who stand in my way.
I think I’d very much like a name akin to, say Tiger Crenshaw.
My only issue might be that I wouldn’t be confident I could live up to expectations generated by the name.
As it is, I am more than confident that I can live up to, and beyond, my given name of Miles (though my family name… that remains to be seen).
Do I really have what it takes to be a Tiger Crenshaw, though? I don’t even think I’m tall enough to qualify for that name.
Kids can be assholes, but my issue, when I was ten, was with a clown. He made fun of my name, I politely asked him not to, he mocked me for being a cry baby and I…
Punched him in the face.
I’m really sorry if this comes off wrong, but… unless you’re autistic yourself (and I apologize if you are and I’m just obtuse) I feel like it’s a little rude to ask that. Yes, I’m autistic myself, and can often notice other autistics online. But I’m not gonna give my opinion here, ’cause I’m a lurker and it wouldn’t be appropriate.
Anyway, I just wanted to pop in here, because, asked by a non-autistic, seems a bit intrusive. (I’m sorry that this is my introduction to you, I think you’re a cool person, but this is the topic nobody can get me to shut up about. And apparently I am too tired to talk to people effectively so now I will hide under the lurker rock again unless there is responding or something. Yes.)
I understand that it might be.
I just wanted to ask Lady Obvious, so that I could better understood where some of her reactions to posts made came from.
I’m not doing it to be a jerk or get into her business or anything like that.
If anything, I felt like maybe I could help her and approach her in a different manner than I would a “normie”, that’s all. Also, obviously she, nor anyone else, has to answer if they’re not comfortable to answer that question of a virtual stranger on the internet, which, let’s face it, all of us are.
There was an exchange on here several days ago wherein that particular explanation would go a long way in making sense of it. Again, not trying to be an intrusive jerk, just trying to understand someone else’s perspective… something which is sometimes difficult for those with varying levels of ASD.
Wow. As someone who is on the autism spectrum I find this to be INCREDIBLY insensitive and insulting. Not only is it none of your damn business whether or not LadyObvious is on the spectrum, but frankly she hasn’t done anything inappropriate. It’s not her fault that there are some precious snowflake babies on this forum who can’t handle sarcasm like mature adults.
You can be upset at me if you want, but I do have friends who ARE on the spectrum, and who would rather be asked when they are doing something that is perceived as inappropriate, and understood WHY.
That’s all I’m doing.
I understand that you don’t like it, but not everyone with ASD is the same as you.
Perhaps THIS time she hasn’t done anything inappropriate, no, but some of her responses have struck me as very familiar to they types of statements that friends on the ASD range have made.
I don’t understand why it’s insulting when I am trying to better understand someone. If I could have sent her a personal message, I certainly would have, I’m not trying to call anyone out on anything, I’m trying to understand, and maybe offer assistance if it is desired, that’s all.
I felt as though I approached the subject in a sensitive way, and I don’t really see anything in my posts that could offend anyone.
If you offer me specific examples of offensive wording or phrasing, I’ll be sure to take note of it for future reference.
I’m not on the spectrum (afaik), but I have trouble with social cues a fair amount, and I can get really paranoid about other people seeing that I’m doing something socially unacceptable, but not actually TELLING me about it.
I recall an incident not quite two decades ago, when I was running the Sunday School, and a mom got offended with something I did, and tried to address it… through my mom. I was already adult, but she didn’t come to me and discuss it with me. I really didn’t know what to make of that, but it fed my paranoia that people don’t tell me important things for stupid, unwritten social reasons.
Anyway, because of this perspective, I do appreciate what you tried to do, Miles. I can’t in any way speak for Autistic people, but I appreciate the desire to reach out to someone and find out if they literally can’t see why people are reacting negatively to their wording.
Still, as far as offense goes… my research to date says that asking if someone has an atypical condition (whether mental or physical) is, in and of itself, rude and potentially offensive. If they want to share their condition in a public forum, they will. If they don’t want to share it, and your question gets people to conclude that it exists, you may have harmed them.
I would appreciate a private message system on this forum. It would make certain communication a lot easier and less likely to cause problems.
The friend that I most often spend time with with ASD has told me to let him know if he’s doing things that seem strange in public. So if he is, I tap him and use a codeword we’ve devised so he becomes aware. That’s kind of what I was attempting to do here.
I’ve also left the option of not answering, which Lady Obvious has chosen not to do publicly (in another area). That fine.
Again, not trying to call anyone out, not trying to make anyone answer to anything they don’t want to. Only making an effort to extend a hand if desired, that’s all.
People on the ASD are just that; people. Some come right out and let you know, and some don’t want to, and I understand that. Some want to be asked, so that they can let you know they aren’t being strange on purpose.
I asked. I did my best to do it in a way that wasn’t rude or intrusive or confrontational, but some people got upset by that, and I can appreciate that. Unfortunately, there isn’t a way to ask that question of an individual on this forum without coming right out and asking.
In person, asking if someone has an atypical condition is or isn’t rude on the way it is asked. I did my best to try and select words that were nonconfrontational, and approach the subject gently.
Of course, since it is only text and not tone or any of the other 90% of nonverbal communication, the attitude of the reader can well influence the perceived tone of a message, and there’s very little I can do about that.
For example, if someone was having a bad day at work today, or has a friend who is ALWAYS sarcastic, or any other number of things happening, my words could take on a sarcastic tone instead of what I intend.
If I had written something to the effect of “Hey, do you have a head injury or something!?” then absolutely that should be interpreted as rude. I didn’t do something like that. I’m not trying to be rude, but I can’t really do anything about it if people think I am anyway.
Just as an addendum, I have worked with (and interned with) individuals and families that have autism. I’ve done with with a facility that handles Applied Behavioral Analysis (though this is not where I’ve met the people with ASD that are my friends).
I’m not just some schmuck making unwarranted assumptions about a person’s behavior.
Please, please, please don’t use the “I have autistic friends” technique. In this situation, it doesn’t really matter. You have autistic people here saying (in varying tones) that the question was intrusive. This isn’t you and a friend arranging something, this is asking someone on the internet about something very personal, that there’s always some risk in disclosing. She might not be required to answer, but that doesn’t mean the question wasn’t asked.
We really do know what we’re talking about. If you’re not autistic (and your responses all but state not) then we have more experience in this area than you do. (I’m sorry if I sound rude here! People tend to make the assumption that we don’t understand our own experiences, so my response may be colored by that.)
I’m probably gonna bow out here, okay? I don’t have the spoons for any more of this. I’m still going to leave the comment, in case it makes any difference, but I’m probably not going to check for a response. My spoons are limited, and I don’t have enough to spend on this.
Because you are on the spectrum, you know that subtlety can very often be misunderstood.
The only way to inquire on this forum is to ask directly.
I don’t just have friends. I work with people with varying degrees, and because they are people, everyone is different.
As I’ve said before, some people volunteer the information.
Some people are nervous about that and wait to e asked.
And some people don’t want to be asked at all, don’t want to say anything about it.
Not everyone is the same, because underneath it all, they are all people. You’re a person too. You (and a few others) are of the mindset that it shouldn’t be asked at all.
Not everyone is of that same mindset, that’s all.
You’re not being rude, and I appreciate your perspective. You have had to live with this your whole life, but your perspective comes only from your own point of view of the situation.
Mine, however, comes from multiple points of views of many people with the same broad condition over a number of years. You definitely know what you are talking about. Please don’t discount that I might too, though.
“but your perspective comes only from your own point of view of the situation.
Mine, however, comes from multiple points of views of many people with the same broad condition over a number of years”
I have issue with this part, where you assume that they also don’t know multiple perspectives that point them in a different direction than you.
You also continue saying that the only way to know on this forum is to ask and that there’s no way to ask privately. As that is the case, it seems to me that it would have been most appropriate to not ask. Not necessarily because you shouldn’t ask, but that you couldn’t do so privately.
In general, people on the spectrum have trouble with a number of things. One is that they tend to take things literally, unless they have experience to note that certain situations aren’t intended to be taken literally.
The other is that many times, they have difficulty even contemplating that others have a point of view that can be different than their own, and even when they can, they have a very difficult time understanding that point of view.
This was the whole basis of my asking in the first place.
And, again, because I have worked with many different individuals, with different perspectives, in my experience some of them will come right out and explain it.
Some will wait until they are asked; tehy may want to tell someone, but are afraid of misunderstanding (usually because of past experiences).
And finally, there are those who don’t want to talk about it at all.
In the event that the person I was asking was one of the first two, I asked.
I’m not sorry for asking. If I look like a bad guy for having asked, so be it. It wasn’t my intention, I’m not trying to be someone rude or nosy or anything else, but we all know the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
I asked publicly because it was the only was to do so here. If I had received an affirmative answer, I could have then done a few things with that answer.
The first would be to politely explain situations in which said individual appeared to be posting as rude or unreasonable or disrespectful to others in hopes of givign them perspective on the WHY.
The other would be to explain to the individual why others appeared to be attacking them, or responding negatively to their posts, and offering suggestions on ways to better post in such a way that their own intentions are not misunderstood.
I get it. That makes me appear obnoxious, rude, and a generally all around bad guy.
I wanted to help simply because I work around people like, and sometimes they do need a little help, and sometimes the people around them that don’t understand need a little help to bring them both together and show each side that the other isn’t necessarily a jerk on purpose.
I guess that makes me the jerk, though.
All that having been said…
I must apologize for my poor choice of words, and for assuming that TheShylon fit the norm.
I also apologize for making TheShylon and Rainne feel uncomfortable. That was never my intention.
I am not sorry for asking and wanting to help, but I get how it might seem insensitive, and rude to some people.
I understand through reading your replies that you wanted to help. That wasn’t evident in your original comment, however, where no offer to help or inquiry as to whether LO wanted your help was made. This definitely affected my perspective of your comment, and possibly others’, which you may want to consider.
I see you getting defensive and possibly through with this conversation, so I understand that you may not revisit this thread. If you do, however, I’d definitely encourage you to offer help to LO next time it seems that she may need it. She might not even be aware that you were trying to offer her help here, since when you posted your initial comment and directed her attention to it on the next comic, there was no mention of wanting to help her yet posted.
The help you say you want to provide may be helpful regardless of LO’s spectrum status, or unhelpful in the same regard. I don’t think you’re a jerk for wanting to help, but I can see why your approach ruffled some feathers.
I didn’t go into a lot of detail on my initial post. I asked, mentioned some rationale behind some of the responses she got, explained some of my own point of view on the matter, having heard a whole lot of wisecracks about both my given and family name, and then went on about society.
If anyone should have been offended, it should have been LO, and I accept that.
The people that suggest I shouldn’t ask at all… if everyone did that, we wouldn’t make much progress at all in life. SO I asked, aware it might make me look like a bit of an ass.
I generally find I CAN’T just stand by when people are being bullied in real life, and that’s gotten my ass kicked on occasion when I was younger.
Even though I have been frustrated with some of LO’s comments in the past, I felt that if I could understand her, and if I could get her point of view across to others, it might help, and in turn try and find a way to help her to understand what other people are saying, and get either or both sides to see that neither is deliberately attacking (usually, anyway… some people really are jerks on purpose) each other, something good of this would come and we wouldn’t have to have two sides pouncing on each other in the comments section.
It took me how many paragraphs to adequately explain though? So it’s no wonder it didn’t come across in my first wall of text.
I just gave my niece the 3rd Journal from Gravity Falls because I felt like it. When she was done with the expression of glee and sheer excitement, she showed my mom, and she’s 10. Children like to share things that make them feel happy. A very good sign.
Agreed. She looks much more like an 8-9 year old without them in all the time. I wonder if they served like a security blanket? Perhaps having her hair done by her adoptive mother was a time she received special attention?
So is manicure and such something people actually enjoy? Like obviously the end results are nice but I always found the act itself more of a bother. I always putt of going to the hairdresser as long as possible too because I hate sitting in that chair while someone pokes scissors round my face.
Yes. It can be very relaxing and give a feeling of luxury and indulgence. For some it’s a way to pamper themselves, to socialize and such. Others it’s a necessary evil due to their occupation.
Other people can’t stand it due to the whole ‘touching’ thing or the prolonged sitting thing.
Some people definitely do. I’ve generally not had enjoyable experiences with it, unfortunately (I say unfortunately because while this kind of thing is generally not a priority in my life, I have crappy nails so manicures would be beneficial for me if they didn’t generally suck). But for a lot of people it’s a very pampering kind of experience, and in some cases, a social occasion as well.
A manicure is boring. The deluxe pedicure is where it’s at! At the Walmart salons, you sit in a vibrating chair while they soak your feet in a jetted tub and put warm wax and hot towels on your calves, THEN they paint your toenails and massage your legs and feet.
I like them because it’s something I don’t do alone. I do it with my mom, step-mom, friends, or aunts. I’ve always liked having my nails painted, so going to someone who can professionally do nail art is pretty fun. Its not too often though because price and they never last long for me. A few days later and my nails grow out so polish no longer covers fully; a full week or two and at least 40% has noticeably chipped. And as pretty as they’d look, I dont ever get fake jewels on them because I’m the cook in my house. The last thing you want to hear is “I swear there were more jewels on my nails before I started cooking.”
It can be, but I personally find I need the right kind of person to do it. I’d probably enjoy it more, too, if I got a friend or two to go with. I usually don’t like being touched for extended periods by strangers…but if someone does it well, my hangnails go away for a long time and my nails actually grow out (I’m a terrible nail biter).
It’s going to be interesting… That’s the only thing I can ever predict these days. Dave sure has a gift of doing that while keeping his characters in character. 🙂
I disagree. I think Amanda has been, at times, as angry as it is possible for a person to be. She may never have literally punched a wall, but there’s a lot of anger there.
It’ll be a great day for Amanda when she realizes:
1) She has a family now who will go to bat for her.
2) Said family isn’t going anywhere.
3) She has a sister for, better or worse.
4) Being constantly angry all the time makes one miss out on the good times that will happen.
One can only hope this realization happens sooner than later
Yeah… it will help, for sure, when she realizes that. Won’t make the anger go away, though. It’s burned in too deep. If you’ve been angry for most of your life, you can’t just stop all of a sudden because logic says you should.
Healing will take time, patience, and many iterations of your points 1 and 2.
If they don’t tackle this, as I have said in the past, I fear it could become permanent as it did with me. Then it becomes a matter of Amanda learning how much to express at a time to keep from blowing up in the worst way possible, and how much to hold back to keep from scaring everyone around her and damaging what she has worked so hard to gain.
It’s not easy let me tell you. Some days I want to just rip everything to shreds and throw it all to the winds. And I don’t want Amanda doing that.
Can we all just stop being so sensitive? Sheesh! v_v
@ Miles: I understand you were trying to be polite and not be judgmental and stuff, but it shouldn’t have been asked. At all.
@ Yumi, Kilyle, & Rainne: TheShylon made the point. It was all that needed to be said, once and ONLY ONCE!
This goes for all of you on Team Polite. It only takes one person, ONE PERSON to make a point. If the person being responded to doesn’t agree, LET IT GO!
The major cause of all this drama is more than one person jumping on to someone’s case and making more of it than needs to be. If someone else has already said what you wish to say, and it wasn’t listened to, you are not going to make things better by adding your cheap 2 cents to the conversation.
Okay. So either she was too angry. Or Andi said something she didn’t like. I’m guessing both.
Well…obviously. Heh, your name suits you. 🙂
Yes. Thanks. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Thank you for the unfunny joke I have heard a million times before. So fresh. So funny. So necessary to say. Thanks.
Yikes. So hostile. Dude was just making a joke. All I ever see from you is negativity towards other users. Why do you even come here? Dave, maybe start banning these trolls?
If I was going to ban people for “trolling”, I’d be much more likely to start with people who wish death and mutilation upon infants.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie774
I know I’m not one to talk, since half of what I say is harshly received and causes people to snap at each other, but, at the very least I think maybe asking Lady to dial it back with the condescending remarks of people who differ from their opinion isn’t too much to ask.
Weird how someone can be unoriginal/unfunny ‘jokingly’ isn’t bad. But whatever I say is condescending. Uh huh. Yeah. Wow.
No, no. What he said was not necessary and further down he’s being over the top completely. I just meant in general, but this was a really poor example, since you didn’t really do anything here.
Are you mixing Dirk and Dylan up or did I miss something?
Maybe you should ask her directly instead of asking Dave to do it. She is actually a real person you know? It is good to use our words.
I did yesterday and it got ignored and was met with contempt and sarcasm. I was fairly nice about it. Since they tend to ignore people with valid points and opinions and get very upset at general disagreement, I just thought maybe it might be a good idea for Dave to ask them and anyone else, myself included, to tone down the arguments and rudeness in the comments section. Maybe they’ll listen to Dave.
Spring Pop, I think there’s a misunderstanding (either you or me). I was talking to Dirk about LadyObvious.
And to think, when I came on originally, I thought I was going to become the bad guy because I have a tendency to make unvarnished opinions and statements. Personally I like LadyObvious and think there’s nastier commenters here.
Yes. Hostile. Being annoyed with an unfunny joke means I should be banned. Totes means I’m a troll because it isn’t a stale,unoriginal joke that’s not funny.
To be fair, Dylan’s remark was uncalled-for, and you’re being fairly hostile yourself, here.
Okay. Whatever.
Not you. Dirk.
Big apologies on my part.
Sorry. Thought you meant me. That was uncalled for. I shouldn’t have written that. My apologies.
Eh, I know what it’s like to burn Europe because China ticked me off. No worries.
Something something Iraq something Al Qaeda something.
Family Guy reference? :3
Partly. I had done the “blah blah relevant words blah blah other relevant words” schtick occasionally prior, but the use of “something” is definitely from Family Guy.
Dirk uses passive-aggressive aggression. It is not very effective.
Damn, why do you even post here? Anytime I see you interact with someone, it’s a negative interaction. Do you ever even leave your house? Because I imagine if you did you’d start a fight with every person you see.
Or maybe you’re just trolling. Dave, how about a ban?
For finding your unfunny joke unnecessary and unfunny?
How about you think before you open your mouth (or, in this case, hitting your keys and clicking enter)? That joke wasn’t funny, original, or necessary, and yet you’re harping on someone else for being hostile?
Dylan, Do you ever think before you type? You have been here long enough to know she’s a sensitive person, and you made a rude joke. Then you just made some really nasty below-the-belt insults.
Don’t be a dick. Think before you type.
It’s like people forgot the first rule of the internet: don’t feed the trolls.
Seriously, if you really think someone is trolling then giving them a reaction is just what they want. :p
Oh, I know that rule. I’m giving him the doubt he isn’t. He’s not being obnoxious enough—just rude. Now, if he goes over the top to be an ass? Yeah, I’ll ignore him.
Au contraire Dirk, I tend to have very positive reactions with LadyObvious. Personally I think she’s feeling unfairly pushed around and I dislike it.
A little bit. I don’t think it’s been intentional though.
Unfairly pushed around? “Your name suits you” with ” So fresh. So funny. So necessary to say. Thanks.”
That’s not being unfairly pushed around, that is being rude.
It isn’t like she was insulted (at first). She responded with sarcasm..for no reason. Who cares if she’s hears it a million times? If she’s going to make her name “Lady Obvious” of course someone is going to respond that way when she says something OBVIOUS.
Like SpringPop said before….maybe she needs to dial it down a few notches. No one is here to start problems. We are here to enjoy a comic and talk to each other about said comic. That’s it.
If you don’t want light hearted jokes about your name that you’ve heard 1000 times, change it. Don’t be rude about it. No one deserves unwanted aggression for YOUR name choice.
Wow. Thanks for this. Totally necessary. Like the joke isn’t BORINGLY STALE UNORIGINAL AND UNNECESSARY. Like that makes it fine. I mean he could have minded his business. But I guess since he said it was a joke that makes it fine. Thank you for this.
Thaaaaaank you. ?
I respond to everything with sarcasm in real life. That’s what some of us do. It’s what I do. Sarcasm isn’t always an attack or negative thing, sometimes it’s just the way people talk.
I don’t see why she should change her name to be honest. Maybe resign herself to the jokes she’s heard ten thousand times since you can’t determine how people are going to react to you. But change? I don’t think so.
We have Team Andi and Team Tod, don’t tell me we’re going to start having Team LadyObvious, Team Polite.
I would also like to add that when she responded with Sarcasm she was told she should be banned. Whether you think she was being rude or not, that is far more rude and is an unnecessary attack. So, as the afore mentioned post, if there must be a Team LadyObvious, I’m on it.
Thank you. ?
No problem, I got your back.
I’m on Team Obvious too. <3
Serious question here, meant to better understand you, and NOT meant to demean you in anyway, but have you been diagnosed with some degree of autism spectrum disorder? I only ask because viewing some of you more poorly received comments through that lens makes it more understandable (to me at least).
And, I mean, my name is Miles. How many times, since I was a child, do you think I have heard “How many Miles did you go today?” and all the variations thereof?
When it is your real, given name, society demands you suck it up and take it, because regardless of how funny, how annoying, how juvenile it is, YOU become the bad guy if you react poorly to it.
Your name is a moniker you’ve selected yourself. The unfunny jokes, you are at least partially to blame for them. As for me, my parents are the ones partially to blame for them, as well as the perpetrators.
In this case, your first two reactions were NOT (in my opinion) over the top or overly hostile. They’re kind of how I react to jokes regarding my name in real life. I say “Ha ha ha, that is a knee-slapper” in a monotone voice, then I slap my knee in an exaggerated way, and finally smile to show I am not taking it seriously (regardless of how I ACTUALLY feel about the “joke”)… usually my reaction gets far more laughs that the “joke” and it defuses any potential situation.
Unfortunately, this is a text only forum, so you can’t really get any of that to read through just text. 90% of the meaning one would get through a real life, face to face, encounter is simply lost.
Don’t blame your parents; there are NO names that other kids won’t find a way to make fun of.
Another good reaction might be as in the Monty Python Travel Agent sketch. (Mr Bounder) “Yes… I expect you get people making jokes about your name all the time, eh?” (Mr Smoketoomuch) “No, I’d never noticed it before.”
Well, at least my name isn’t Mark Clark (an unfortunate kid in the 3rd grade class next to mine), or Ryan Brian (a former roommate, and the most normal and zen master type person ever).
Of course, my family name can be used to enhance the standard joke, but that one is actually rare, so I at least give some small measure of respect to those who come up with an uncommon variation.
I nearly got myself named Panther Scott because of a stoned father. You think Miles is bad, being the new kid and named Panther Scott? I would have been spending more time in the emergency ward and juvenile detention than anyone should have to with that name.
I’m glad my mom had the sense to say no, because not a jury in the world would have convicted the murder of my father with that name.
Oh, I grew up incredibly tough… in the sixth grade, I was still smaller than the kindergarteners, and so I kinda had to.
Any ER visits I had were generally from misadventure, and not fights… I may be covered in blood after fighting, but only small amounts of it would have been my own.
Plus, man, Panther Scott sounds like a cool name! It’s like Levi Fury (I knew someone named that, his legit given and family name).
Anyone that wanted to fight you because of a name like that was just extremely jealous!
I agree now it sounds like some sort of superhero name. But kids are mean, they will go after anyone for any reason. I think I would have came out of it either a motivational speaker talking against bullies, or a super villain controlling mass troops to destroy any who stand in my way.
I think I’d very much like a name akin to, say Tiger Crenshaw.
My only issue might be that I wouldn’t be confident I could live up to expectations generated by the name.
As it is, I am more than confident that I can live up to, and beyond, my given name of Miles (though my family name… that remains to be seen).
Do I really have what it takes to be a Tiger Crenshaw, though? I don’t even think I’m tall enough to qualify for that name.
Kids can be assholes, but my issue, when I was ten, was with a clown. He made fun of my name, I politely asked him not to, he mocked me for being a cry baby and I…
Punched him in the face.
I’m really sorry if this comes off wrong, but… unless you’re autistic yourself (and I apologize if you are and I’m just obtuse) I feel like it’s a little rude to ask that. Yes, I’m autistic myself, and can often notice other autistics online. But I’m not gonna give my opinion here, ’cause I’m a lurker and it wouldn’t be appropriate.
Anyway, I just wanted to pop in here, because, asked by a non-autistic, seems a bit intrusive. (I’m sorry that this is my introduction to you, I think you’re a cool person, but this is the topic nobody can get me to shut up about. And apparently I am too tired to talk to people effectively so now I will hide under the lurker rock again unless there is responding or something. Yes.)
*lurklurklurk*
I understand that it might be.
I just wanted to ask Lady Obvious, so that I could better understood where some of her reactions to posts made came from.
I’m not doing it to be a jerk or get into her business or anything like that.
If anything, I felt like maybe I could help her and approach her in a different manner than I would a “normie”, that’s all. Also, obviously she, nor anyone else, has to answer if they’re not comfortable to answer that question of a virtual stranger on the internet, which, let’s face it, all of us are.
There was an exchange on here several days ago wherein that particular explanation would go a long way in making sense of it. Again, not trying to be an intrusive jerk, just trying to understand someone else’s perspective… something which is sometimes difficult for those with varying levels of ASD.
Wow. As someone who is on the autism spectrum I find this to be INCREDIBLY insensitive and insulting. Not only is it none of your damn business whether or not LadyObvious is on the spectrum, but frankly she hasn’t done anything inappropriate. It’s not her fault that there are some precious snowflake babies on this forum who can’t handle sarcasm like mature adults.
You can be upset at me if you want, but I do have friends who ARE on the spectrum, and who would rather be asked when they are doing something that is perceived as inappropriate, and understood WHY.
That’s all I’m doing.
I understand that you don’t like it, but not everyone with ASD is the same as you.
Perhaps THIS time she hasn’t done anything inappropriate, no, but some of her responses have struck me as very familiar to they types of statements that friends on the ASD range have made.
I don’t understand why it’s insulting when I am trying to better understand someone. If I could have sent her a personal message, I certainly would have, I’m not trying to call anyone out on anything, I’m trying to understand, and maybe offer assistance if it is desired, that’s all.
I felt as though I approached the subject in a sensitive way, and I don’t really see anything in my posts that could offend anyone.
If you offer me specific examples of offensive wording or phrasing, I’ll be sure to take note of it for future reference.
I’m not on the spectrum (afaik), but I have trouble with social cues a fair amount, and I can get really paranoid about other people seeing that I’m doing something socially unacceptable, but not actually TELLING me about it.
I recall an incident not quite two decades ago, when I was running the Sunday School, and a mom got offended with something I did, and tried to address it… through my mom. I was already adult, but she didn’t come to me and discuss it with me. I really didn’t know what to make of that, but it fed my paranoia that people don’t tell me important things for stupid, unwritten social reasons.
Anyway, because of this perspective, I do appreciate what you tried to do, Miles. I can’t in any way speak for Autistic people, but I appreciate the desire to reach out to someone and find out if they literally can’t see why people are reacting negatively to their wording.
Still, as far as offense goes… my research to date says that asking if someone has an atypical condition (whether mental or physical) is, in and of itself, rude and potentially offensive. If they want to share their condition in a public forum, they will. If they don’t want to share it, and your question gets people to conclude that it exists, you may have harmed them.
I would appreciate a private message system on this forum. It would make certain communication a lot easier and less likely to cause problems.
The friend that I most often spend time with with ASD has told me to let him know if he’s doing things that seem strange in public. So if he is, I tap him and use a codeword we’ve devised so he becomes aware. That’s kind of what I was attempting to do here.
I’ve also left the option of not answering, which Lady Obvious has chosen not to do publicly (in another area). That fine.
Again, not trying to call anyone out, not trying to make anyone answer to anything they don’t want to. Only making an effort to extend a hand if desired, that’s all.
People on the ASD are just that; people. Some come right out and let you know, and some don’t want to, and I understand that. Some want to be asked, so that they can let you know they aren’t being strange on purpose.
I asked. I did my best to do it in a way that wasn’t rude or intrusive or confrontational, but some people got upset by that, and I can appreciate that. Unfortunately, there isn’t a way to ask that question of an individual on this forum without coming right out and asking.
In person, asking if someone has an atypical condition is or isn’t rude on the way it is asked. I did my best to try and select words that were nonconfrontational, and approach the subject gently.
Of course, since it is only text and not tone or any of the other 90% of nonverbal communication, the attitude of the reader can well influence the perceived tone of a message, and there’s very little I can do about that.
For example, if someone was having a bad day at work today, or has a friend who is ALWAYS sarcastic, or any other number of things happening, my words could take on a sarcastic tone instead of what I intend.
If I had written something to the effect of “Hey, do you have a head injury or something!?” then absolutely that should be interpreted as rude. I didn’t do something like that. I’m not trying to be rude, but I can’t really do anything about it if people think I am anyway.
Just as an addendum, I have worked with (and interned with) individuals and families that have autism. I’ve done with with a facility that handles Applied Behavioral Analysis (though this is not where I’ve met the people with ASD that are my friends).
I’m not just some schmuck making unwarranted assumptions about a person’s behavior.
Please, please, please don’t use the “I have autistic friends” technique. In this situation, it doesn’t really matter. You have autistic people here saying (in varying tones) that the question was intrusive. This isn’t you and a friend arranging something, this is asking someone on the internet about something very personal, that there’s always some risk in disclosing. She might not be required to answer, but that doesn’t mean the question wasn’t asked.
We really do know what we’re talking about. If you’re not autistic (and your responses all but state not) then we have more experience in this area than you do. (I’m sorry if I sound rude here! People tend to make the assumption that we don’t understand our own experiences, so my response may be colored by that.)
I’m probably gonna bow out here, okay? I don’t have the spoons for any more of this. I’m still going to leave the comment, in case it makes any difference, but I’m probably not going to check for a response. My spoons are limited, and I don’t have enough to spend on this.
Because you are on the spectrum, you know that subtlety can very often be misunderstood.
The only way to inquire on this forum is to ask directly.
I don’t just have friends. I work with people with varying degrees, and because they are people, everyone is different.
As I’ve said before, some people volunteer the information.
Some people are nervous about that and wait to e asked.
And some people don’t want to be asked at all, don’t want to say anything about it.
Not everyone is the same, because underneath it all, they are all people. You’re a person too. You (and a few others) are of the mindset that it shouldn’t be asked at all.
Not everyone is of that same mindset, that’s all.
You’re not being rude, and I appreciate your perspective. You have had to live with this your whole life, but your perspective comes only from your own point of view of the situation.
Mine, however, comes from multiple points of views of many people with the same broad condition over a number of years. You definitely know what you are talking about. Please don’t discount that I might too, though.
“but your perspective comes only from your own point of view of the situation.
Mine, however, comes from multiple points of views of many people with the same broad condition over a number of years”
I have issue with this part, where you assume that they also don’t know multiple perspectives that point them in a different direction than you.
You also continue saying that the only way to know on this forum is to ask and that there’s no way to ask privately. As that is the case, it seems to me that it would have been most appropriate to not ask. Not necessarily because you shouldn’t ask, but that you couldn’t do so privately.
In general, people on the spectrum have trouble with a number of things. One is that they tend to take things literally, unless they have experience to note that certain situations aren’t intended to be taken literally.
The other is that many times, they have difficulty even contemplating that others have a point of view that can be different than their own, and even when they can, they have a very difficult time understanding that point of view.
This was the whole basis of my asking in the first place.
And, again, because I have worked with many different individuals, with different perspectives, in my experience some of them will come right out and explain it.
Some will wait until they are asked; tehy may want to tell someone, but are afraid of misunderstanding (usually because of past experiences).
And finally, there are those who don’t want to talk about it at all.
In the event that the person I was asking was one of the first two, I asked.
I’m not sorry for asking. If I look like a bad guy for having asked, so be it. It wasn’t my intention, I’m not trying to be someone rude or nosy or anything else, but we all know the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
I asked publicly because it was the only was to do so here. If I had received an affirmative answer, I could have then done a few things with that answer.
The first would be to politely explain situations in which said individual appeared to be posting as rude or unreasonable or disrespectful to others in hopes of givign them perspective on the WHY.
The other would be to explain to the individual why others appeared to be attacking them, or responding negatively to their posts, and offering suggestions on ways to better post in such a way that their own intentions are not misunderstood.
I get it. That makes me appear obnoxious, rude, and a generally all around bad guy.
I wanted to help simply because I work around people like, and sometimes they do need a little help, and sometimes the people around them that don’t understand need a little help to bring them both together and show each side that the other isn’t necessarily a jerk on purpose.
I guess that makes me the jerk, though.
All that having been said…
I must apologize for my poor choice of words, and for assuming that TheShylon fit the norm.
I also apologize for making TheShylon and Rainne feel uncomfortable. That was never my intention.
I am not sorry for asking and wanting to help, but I get how it might seem insensitive, and rude to some people.
I understand through reading your replies that you wanted to help. That wasn’t evident in your original comment, however, where no offer to help or inquiry as to whether LO wanted your help was made. This definitely affected my perspective of your comment, and possibly others’, which you may want to consider.
I see you getting defensive and possibly through with this conversation, so I understand that you may not revisit this thread. If you do, however, I’d definitely encourage you to offer help to LO next time it seems that she may need it. She might not even be aware that you were trying to offer her help here, since when you posted your initial comment and directed her attention to it on the next comic, there was no mention of wanting to help her yet posted.
The help you say you want to provide may be helpful regardless of LO’s spectrum status, or unhelpful in the same regard. I don’t think you’re a jerk for wanting to help, but I can see why your approach ruffled some feathers.
I didn’t go into a lot of detail on my initial post. I asked, mentioned some rationale behind some of the responses she got, explained some of my own point of view on the matter, having heard a whole lot of wisecracks about both my given and family name, and then went on about society.
If anyone should have been offended, it should have been LO, and I accept that.
The people that suggest I shouldn’t ask at all… if everyone did that, we wouldn’t make much progress at all in life. SO I asked, aware it might make me look like a bit of an ass.
I generally find I CAN’T just stand by when people are being bullied in real life, and that’s gotten my ass kicked on occasion when I was younger.
Even though I have been frustrated with some of LO’s comments in the past, I felt that if I could understand her, and if I could get her point of view across to others, it might help, and in turn try and find a way to help her to understand what other people are saying, and get either or both sides to see that neither is deliberately attacking (usually, anyway… some people really are jerks on purpose) each other, something good of this would come and we wouldn’t have to have two sides pouncing on each other in the comments section.
It took me how many paragraphs to adequately explain though? So it’s no wonder it didn’t come across in my first wall of text.
Doesn’t look like the talk stuck. Wrong move, shouldn’t have let her go over in this state, I expect this will end badly.
You’d think Amanda would be into dinosaurs as much as she sounds like one. 😉
Amanda looks so much better without the pigtails.
They just went over there to show Todd her finger nails?
She wanted to show her dad something, which is an indication of her wanting a relationship which is very much encouraged.
So yes. They went over to show Todd her finger nails.
the a mount of times my daughter has shown me stuff makes me think this is believable, kids love showing their parents stuff
my daughter is 6, and she shows me EVERYTHING
I just gave my niece the 3rd Journal from Gravity Falls because I felt like it. When she was done with the expression of glee and sheer excitement, she showed my mom, and she’s 10. Children like to share things that make them feel happy. A very good sign.
Agreed. She looks much more like an 8-9 year old without them in all the time. I wonder if they served like a security blanket? Perhaps having her hair done by her adoptive mother was a time she received special attention?
Think it was just to enforce the sweet kid angle she was going for to lure in prospective parents while still at the orphanage.
So is manicure and such something people actually enjoy? Like obviously the end results are nice but I always found the act itself more of a bother. I always putt of going to the hairdresser as long as possible too because I hate sitting in that chair while someone pokes scissors round my face.
Yes. It can be very relaxing and give a feeling of luxury and indulgence. For some it’s a way to pamper themselves, to socialize and such. Others it’s a necessary evil due to their occupation.
Other people can’t stand it due to the whole ‘touching’ thing or the prolonged sitting thing.
Some people definitely do. I’ve generally not had enjoyable experiences with it, unfortunately (I say unfortunately because while this kind of thing is generally not a priority in my life, I have crappy nails so manicures would be beneficial for me if they didn’t generally suck). But for a lot of people it’s a very pampering kind of experience, and in some cases, a social occasion as well.
A manicure is boring. The deluxe pedicure is where it’s at! At the Walmart salons, you sit in a vibrating chair while they soak your feet in a jetted tub and put warm wax and hot towels on your calves, THEN they paint your toenails and massage your legs and feet.
I like them because it’s something I don’t do alone. I do it with my mom, step-mom, friends, or aunts. I’ve always liked having my nails painted, so going to someone who can professionally do nail art is pretty fun. Its not too often though because price and they never last long for me. A few days later and my nails grow out so polish no longer covers fully; a full week or two and at least 40% has noticeably chipped. And as pretty as they’d look, I dont ever get fake jewels on them because I’m the cook in my house. The last thing you want to hear is “I swear there were more jewels on my nails before I started cooking.”
It can be, but I personally find I need the right kind of person to do it. I’d probably enjoy it more, too, if I got a friend or two to go with. I usually don’t like being touched for extended periods by strangers…but if someone does it well, my hangnails go away for a long time and my nails actually grow out (I’m a terrible nail biter).
Judging by Amanda’s reaction, I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark and say the talk was about Selkie. Yeah; whatever it was, it hasn’t stuck.
Curious to see where this is going for Amanda. Poor kid is making baby steps to learn to process and express her feelings.
I’m predicting a possible wall punch. But probably not. I don’t think Amanda has ever been that angry. XD
It’s going to be interesting… That’s the only thing I can ever predict these days. Dave sure has a gift of doing that while keeping his characters in character. 🙂
I disagree. I think Amanda has been, at times, as angry as it is possible for a person to be. She may never have literally punched a wall, but there’s a lot of anger there.
It’ll be a great day for Amanda when she realizes:
1) She has a family now who will go to bat for her.
2) Said family isn’t going anywhere.
3) She has a sister for, better or worse.
4) Being constantly angry all the time makes one miss out on the good times that will happen.
One can only hope this realization happens sooner than later
Yeah… it will help, for sure, when she realizes that. Won’t make the anger go away, though. It’s burned in too deep. If you’ve been angry for most of your life, you can’t just stop all of a sudden because logic says you should.
Healing will take time, patience, and many iterations of your points 1 and 2.
If they don’t tackle this, as I have said in the past, I fear it could become permanent as it did with me. Then it becomes a matter of Amanda learning how much to express at a time to keep from blowing up in the worst way possible, and how much to hold back to keep from scaring everyone around her and damaging what she has worked so hard to gain.
It’s not easy let me tell you. Some days I want to just rip everything to shreds and throw it all to the winds. And I don’t want Amanda doing that.
Maybe just text him a photo next time.
Hey, Dave, do you ever go to Cons? (You may and I just never noticed the announcement.)
Can we all just stop being so sensitive? Sheesh! v_v
@ Miles: I understand you were trying to be polite and not be judgmental and stuff, but it shouldn’t have been asked. At all.
@ Yumi, Kilyle, & Rainne: TheShylon made the point. It was all that needed to be said, once and ONLY ONCE!
This goes for all of you on Team Polite. It only takes one person, ONE PERSON to make a point. If the person being responded to doesn’t agree, LET IT GO!
The major cause of all this drama is more than one person jumping on to someone’s case and making more of it than needs to be. If someone else has already said what you wish to say, and it wasn’t listened to, you are not going to make things better by adding your cheap 2 cents to the conversation.