You’d be surprised by how little this comment section really is nasty. Yeah, everyone against Andi has held her feet over the fire, but she has deserved it. If the section was really nasty, even strips that don’t normally involve her would still be yelling at her.
Remember, Andi is the closest thing we have to a de facto “bad guy.” Even if both working at the same goal, Andi and Todd are not allies in any way, shape, or form. And Andi hasn’t received that scene that exonerates her. We have an explanation, but that’s it. She is not redeemed and any redemption will be a long time coming.
Nobody likes a manipulator. Nobody likes seeing someone or something they cared for manipulated and people bond with fictional characters. Seeing Andi do something out and out cruel, and despite her reasoning what she did was cruel, it creates a hate vacuum centered on her.
As for the glee, there still might be anger at Andi, but they want to look at the positives, and that is assuring a scared little girl that she has people who care about her.
I think it’s less a constant stream of nastiness (which I’m quite glad we don’t deal with) and more the fact that when there is any nastiness it’s so different from the usual civil comments/conversations that it stands out all the more. Certain posters only seem to post (at least under particular names) when nastiness can be thrown out there without it looking like they’re taking things just a little way too seriously.
I’ve always said, if you look at Andi’s haters, each of us have a bad experience with manipulators, cheaters, and users more than likely. I know I have bad experience with all three. So Andi hits the big ole candy colored red berserk button many times to the tune of La Cucharacha. I’m just used to giving people I don’t like credit where credit is due while still hating them.
It wouldn’t surprise me if Andi was also a vegetarian. I mean after being together that long through Todd’s holier than thou phase it would make sense that they were vegetarians together. Hell, Andi probably never grew out of her holier than thou phase. At that point the bacon-ham combo would be a passive-aggressive screw you to Andi.
Might be she just doesn’t eat red meat. I know several people who do that – they eat chicken and fish, but not pork or beef. For most of them it’s an ecological choice. (And before someone goes off on how salmon farming is bad, I don’t mean salmon. I mean lake fish, which are plentiful and fairly local over here.)
It’s more than possible to get wild-caught salmon. As for farmed fish, not all fish farms are bad. You just need to do your homework on where the fish farm in question is. Generally, your best bet is the US (due to the regulations we have here. Yes, dirty word, I know.), but, even here, some farms are better than others.
Sorry, but US is a country that allows feeding steroids and antibiotics to food beasts. I prefer to stick to the much stricter regulations (which aren’t a dirty word when it comes to food safety!) of not only EU, but my home country, Finland.
I know very well the pros and cons of fish farming, and how it can be done without large environmental costs, my “before someone goes off on” disclaimer was mainly meant for people like you, that get bogged down on such details.
This is not an attack on your person, by the way; you just happen to work as a perfect example on why I put that disclaimer in. =P
I’m pretty sure the EU has less strict regulations (or maybe I’m thinking of prescription drugs). Plus, there’s no proof that giving that stuff to animals effects us. Also, I think an animal that doesn’t get antibiotics is more harmful than one getting them.
Jay, most of the antibiotics fed to cattle is not for treating infections, but to promote growth. Cattle in the natural state eat mostly grass, which provides no nutrition until their gut bacteria ferments it and breaks down the cellulose into simpler carbohydrates that vertebrate digestions can assimilate. While these natural symbiotic bacteria make the nutrients available for the cow, they also take a share for themselves.
Feedlots feed them much more grain and other concentrated foods than their multiple stomachs are set up for. Then the feedlot adds low doses of antibiotics to _every_ feeding, which _partly_ suppresses the gut bacteria so the cattle get a larger share of the nutrients. They grow faster on less feed, but they’re less healthy than cattle fed with most of the calories as cellulose instead of starch and sugar.
When a disease is treated with antibiotics, the dose should be set high enough and continued long enough to kill all the bacteria it affects, then it ends. If you don’t kill all of the bacteria, the survivors are likely to evolve resistance to the antibiotics. The antibiotics fed to cattle are a much lower dose that leaves many surviving bacteria, and they are fed from weaning until a few weeks before butchering. By that time, their bacteria have evolved antibiotic resistance; if you eat rare meat, you are consuming bacteria that are immune to the most common antibiotics.
Luke, and the letter to the Romans, work with that principle:
Luke: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you….”
Romans (part of it quoting Proverbs): “Never take your own revenge, beloved… if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing so you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
The idea being that sometimes — not in every case, obviously, but sometimes — a villain who is met with kindness and forgiveness may change because of that alone.
And in other cases, when there is no change in the villain, there is change inside the heroes, because carrying around wellsprings of anger in your heart often does more damage than the villain ever did — and replacing it with better feelings, like compassion, can offer comfort and healing.
I had an experience that relates to this. I had an accident with the head cheerleader’s mustang, in Fall, at night. Long story short, when her father arrived, he gave me his coat because I was shivering and wearing only a light t-shirt.
His kindness killed me and made me feel worse for hitting her. 🙁
These two have raised three very different children to adulthood before now. They are quite patient, and experienced, and understand the need to put some drama aside while small ears are around. They can watch Andi squirm LATER.
They also thoroughly familiar with the experience of kids telling lies because they are afraid. They too understand the power of forgiveness.
Finally, they really really want to see their new grandkid, and raking Andi over the coals until she’s too terrified of them to visit, means she won’t be bringing Amanda by very often in the future.
Mari, if you alienate Selkie during all of this, there will be a lot of people who will have a hard time forgiving you.
…And I really, REALLY hope Amanda’s up to this meeting. Mari’s acting so giddy I’m seeing a greeting hug, and we know that isn’t something Amanda’s likely to respond well to.
As for Theo and Mari not being seething balls of anger at Andi, not surprised. They’re a generation removed, and they’re still on “Yay, granddaughter!” mode. Anger at Andi can wait. Todd had to learn his maturity in this situation somewhere, after all. (which is one of the big reasons I blame Patricia for this so much more than I blame Andi…)
No they clearly meant Mari. Which is silly, because it’s not like we can expect her not to be excited. If she’s a little more keen on Amanda tonight it’s not a big deal. She’s excited because something she thought was impossible just happened.
I think if anything, it’s more likely their giddiness will be contagious and Selkie will be excited about having a sister too. Even if this the specific sister is a poopy-head, just the concept of Having A Sister is pretty excitement-worthy!
Selkie has waited a long time for a family to want her, and now, less than a year later, they’ve found their biological child hiding in plain sight. She could start wondering if her dad won’t want her anymore because he has his “real” daughter back. To a child, being adopted is second to finding your “real” family. Because, for a while, that’s how they perceive their biological family; the “real” family. That also means that they can feel less important than “real” children already existing or that come along later. It takes time for kids to feel secure enough in a new family to REALLY feel like they belong.
Remember that Selkie has had a bit of contact with her own “real” heritage, which is turning out (so far as she knows) to be kind of awesome. And she clearly feels totally secure by now with Mari and Theo. I don’t foresee her feeling bereft. She’s not going to worry that they won’t want her any more.
A bit jealous of all the attention being given to Amanda, sure, but that’s pretty normal between siblings anyway. Every good parent of a multi-child family sooner or later has to explain to the older ones that family love isn’t a limited commodity like bacon. More kids just creates more love. (Or… sometimes they don’t explain, they just demonstrate. That works, too.)
Fair, but on the other hand, meeting more of her people might increase her wonder at where her mother has gone (she’s found her heritage, but not her family, after all). Couple that with jealousy of Amanda finding her “real” family (and we know Amanda would want to lord it over her) and there could be resentment. I’m not just basing this off of the characters, but what has been observed in older adoptees and their conflicts with a new family. Older adoptees (over 3, for my purposes here) may remember their original family or they have been in the system since infancy, either way, you have a child without a sense of the permanence of family. They’re old enough to know that families SHOULD be forever, but experience taught them otherwise. As a result, some kids will act out to the extreme as a way to “test” their family (“Will they love me if I do this? How about this?”) or worry (like Heather) that the slightest infraction will get them “returned”. I’ve heard personal stories of children who will have panic attacks at the prospect of getting older and therefore less cute, because that’s why they thought they were adopted. These insecurities take a LOT of time to heal, to the point that a subset of grown adoptees advocate AGAINST adoption because the process was so difficult.
Not saying that’s what would necessarily happen, but Rens was wondering how Selkie might get alienated and I dug through my notes from Child and Family Therapy 201.
Remember. Amanda thought she found her ‘real’ family too when she was adopted and they abused her heavily. When she needed someone to be there for her when she was ‘returned’ all eyes were on Selkie. Amanda has just as much reason here to feel like SHE is the one who doesn’t belong. I think the biggest concern is getting Amanda dome therapy and providing a safe and loving environment for her.
So while her actions towards Selkie definitely should not be ignored, instead of punishing her they need to ask her why she’s doing what she’s doing.
Well, keep in mind *most* of this family who adopted Selkie *isn’t* related biologically. Amanda is about as genetically related to Selkie’s grandparents as Selkie. I think this makes the whole situation all the more easier for both girls to embrace (and be embraced into).
I meant Mari. She’s very, VERY happy about the news she’s received, and may blurt out something that Selkie could take the wrong way. I’m not EXPECTING it to happen, but it looks like something that COULD easily happen. So I’m hoping Mari doesn’t step in something unpleasant, as it were.
I doubt she will – after all, adopted children to her ARE her children. Their adopted children ARE her grandchildren. She’s excited about having ANOTHER grandchild, not THE grandchild.
I don’t think she will. She’s added children in her family who were adopted in the past. This is the same thing—except the child is biologically her son’s (who *isn’t* biologically related to her). Her happiness actually seems contagious in these pages. Selkie seems at ease and happy herself.
Yeah, she’s thrilled to find a long-lost granddaughter, but she and Theo are both treating Selkie as part of the family as usual because, well, she IS. And I expect if Selkie knows the “thought she was DEAD” bit, she’ll understand their excitement. (And if she doesn’t, it’s only a matter of time before she finds out, since even Amanda knows.)
Why would she not respond well to a greeting hug? The first thing she did when she found out Andi is her mom was hug her and she is excited to meet her grandparents.
I see that their excitement over seeing Amanda trumps any negative emotion they might have towards Andi’s deception that they don’t know about . There is a part of me that is mad at Andi’s mom about this whole mess about the lie about Amanda’s death. Let’s see how excited they are about getting to know the real Amanda .
Seeing how they are mature adults, they are probably going to really, really want to find Amanda’s previous family and beat them up.
Seeing how they are mature adults, they are probably going to not do that, but instead shower Amanda with attention, praise and care in the exact way that doesn’t ignite her trauma. When you only see the child Sometimes, it’s not that hard, after all.
they have to make sure that goes both ways. ‘Manda’s not allowed to be mean to Selkie, Selkie’s not allowed to be mean to ‘Manda. At least in range (ear, eye, camera, telephone) of the grandparents.
Ribs, back, belly, shoulder, hock, loin, only parts I don’t like are the squeal, and the tail. Neither one seems very useful to me. Then,… I’ve never had to chase one, either.
Amanda is going to meet two of the warmest, most welcoming grandparents she could have wished for as well as her biological father who is looking forward to learning about her.
But.
But.
BUT.
Selkie has had all of those for *MONTHS*. While /she/ was stuck in that rotten orphanage and thinking nobody wanted her, that *fish-faced FREAK* was basking in the love and attention and family that /she was supposed to have/.
As a wise man once said, it is in the nature of today that things will go very well, or very badly.
I wonder if finding out Todd was adopted will help with Amanda’s transition? Most humans like categories because they simplify things, and kids especially since there’s so much to learn. “My bio dad was adopted so therefore it makes sense that I have an adopted sister” would be perfectly sound logic from that standpoint. Though there are also ways knowing Todd was adopted could go badly, too…
It might give him a way into the mess that is Amanda’s psyche that not only is he adopted, but he was also abused by his first family, too. (So let’s hope Andi explains that one as well. It’s gonna be tricky but BOTH girls really need the help.)
Reading this strip, it just occurred to me how bad it would be for Selkie if Todd was Orthodox Jewish. Imagine being congenitally carnivorous, and having to keep Kosher.
No meat and dairy together, so goodbye cheeseburgers and chili-cheese dogs. When Georgie came over, Todd made chicken nuggets for both of them, with regular flour breading on Georgies and some type of crispy butter shell on Selkie’s. Couldn’t do that. Eels aren’t kosher. And, of course, no ham, no bacon, no ribs, no pork chops.
Well, yes, but all the purity things to do with kosher only apply to men who want to remain pure for ritualistic reasons (being able to sacrifice things to god), at least according to the Bible.
Hi! Sorry to interrupt the conversation, but that’s actually not quite true! I was raised orthodox Jewish in an orthodox community and my family has a Chassidic background, so I know my stuff when it comes to keeping Kosher! All of us – Jews, that is – are expected to keep 100% Kosher, men and women and anyone in between. The “remain pure for ritualistic reasons” comment sounds more like you’re referring to Cohenim men, who actually have to follow an additional set of restrictions on TOP of keeping kosher. Though the two things are actually entirely separate. And technically, in modern day life, are no longer expected to “remain pure” to the same extents, because the many services Cohenim used to preform are no longer done because there’s no longer a Beis Hamikdash.
As for you Alpo, you’ll be happy to know that restrictions on Jewish hallacha can be “bent” (so to speak) if someone’s life is on the line, because the law teaches that a human life is more valuable than dedication to the religion. For example, one can drive on Shabbos or eat dring Yom Kippur if not doing otherwise would endanger someone’s life/health. So if the argument can be made that Selkie has to mix dairy and meat, as well as eat things like eel to stay healthy, it might be tentatively allowed.
Hope this was helpful!
P.S. The reason why I’m able to respond to this comment on a Saturday is because even though I was raised Orthodox and am ethnically Jewish, I no longer practice 😉
I absolutely believe there would be a lot of halachic bending, but I am not sure if we could justify eliminating all rules. So long as kosher meat were available, there would be no real need to allow Selkie to mix milk/meat and/or to eat prohibited fish. The only rules that would be suspended would be those involving foods you must eat on Passover.
That said, this is a great fun question to ask a Rabbi.
Thank you for corrections – I was basing my comment solely on how Old Testament is now interpreted, not any real knowledge* of what all has been piled on top of that, since Xtianity split off from its mother religion.
*(Okay, okay, if I really wanted, I could go look at the Wikipedia article to find sources to the real info, but I don’t think any of us wants to go into arguments about religious stuff anyway.)
P.S. I was raised as Nordic Lutheran, but I’m these days more agnostic atheist with some animism thrown in. 😉
In your back pocket All that time? Didn’t it hurt?
I hope she’s making Something Todd can eat…. He probably has something in the ‘Fridge; Edam, Gruyere, Chihuahua, Roquefort, Wensleydale, Jack, there’s got to be something Gouda to eat in there.
I see grampa cooking “bacon & ham fusion” with Selkie specifically in mind to tell her without words “we still love you, you’re still family”. I notice while gramma is dancing and singing and excited that Selkie is NOT upset about it, she’s not showing any jealousy at all. Why not? She doesn’t feel threatened in any way. This is her tribe and they’re meeting a new member, period.
I’m sure since they raised a decent sized family of many adopted children they’ve learned all the best ways to ease transitions, smooth over first time meetings and probably a fair share of psychology mixed with good old fashioned live & learn experience. I predict it won’t be perfect, but they will be the ones to keep it from blowing up into a nuclear war.
I can easily see Grandma’s elation switching to, “THIS is our lost angel?” as soon as Amanda start speaking. Knowing her, she may even say something derogatory about adopted kids as a dig at Selkie (now that she has her biological parents), without even realizing that Todd is adopted. Imagine her horror to seeing Todd’s parents when she does that.
I didn’t remember the part where we found out that Todd has been abused, although it makes sense since he was up for adoption and seemed like a little rebel as a child. Can you provide the link so I can brush up on that part?
Until Dave says one way or another, we don’t have a 100% positive proof that Todd was abused as a kid (he might’ve just been an angry child like Amanda, and gotten into a lot of fights), but he certainly identified with Selkie right from the start.
*embarrassed cough* Okay, so I ended up reading the comic from the beginning, after looking up that reference, but good thing I did, cause I ran into this! https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie246/
I’d call that fairly solid “yes” to the question “was Todd physically abused as a child?”
At first I assumed T & A meant something different. Todd being Todd, that confused me. If the angel stands for the baby, and “T & A” stands for the initials of the parents, though, that makes much more sense.
I’ve been assuming that the angel wings just mean that T & A were in love back then. Yeah, it could have been a memorial to A-M, but I’m not convinced. I’ll wait and see if it gets officially explained (in-story, or by Dave in comments).
Mari and Theo are familiar with wounded children. I think that even when Amanda opens her mouth and says something disparaging to/about Selkie, they will shut it down, but not withdraw hope and affection from Amanda. This is hardly their first rodeo.
Also, I’m looking forward to the lightbulb over Amanda’s head going on with the realization that Todds adopted. Selkie would never be less their grand daughter than Amanda simply because Amanda is genetically related to Todd. I think it might spark a huge epiphany.
I would not be surprised to learn that part of the reason for the ecstatic grandparental mood, unalloyed by shock or dismay, is that Todd deliberately, out of compassion for Andi, explained it to them in a vague enough way that they don’t quite have the full picture yet.
Todd doesn’t know more than that Andi told him that Amanda died at birth/was born dead. I doubt he kept that from his parents, since they had an urn that supposedly contained Amanda’s ashes.
Giving Amanda up at birth may have been 50% blame shared by Andi and her mother both, but the lie about the baby having died was 100% Andi. Todd has realized as much, but I don’t think he’s yet told his parents. Not sure if he’ll explain, either, rather than let his parents ask Andi how come the kid isn’t dead after all?
And nasty though it is, I can’t wait for Amanda to hear that her own precious mom not only gave her up and then told everyone that she was dead. (Yes, I know Amanda already expressed her views about that. That’s why I said it’ll be nasty. :P)
Indeed. And as an uncle, I know my fair share of them.
When you want a pun induced groan, uncles and dads will be there. When you want a really bad joke that still gets giggles, uncles and dads will be there. When you want your kids to do a double take, uncles and dads will be there. Granddads as well.
The plural always changes the verb. It doesn’t do that in English. (And I intentionally left the articles off of the words, not just because Finnish doesn’t use them, but also because this way it’s a simpler comparison.)
I have a feeling Mari and Theo are going to be big helpers for Amanda—as well as Amanda’s and Selkie’s relationship. They are kind loving and accepting people, and have already proved themselves resilient and amazing at raising a troubled child who entered the family when he was older. I bet they are going to be amazing beacons to Todd (and possibly Andi, too—she could benefit from some loving older family members in her life who have an idea on how to be *good parents*).
I’m surprised they’re in such a good mood, I expected anger at Andi.
Oh come on, not everyone is as nasty as this comment section here. They wouldn’t let that spill at the children, would they?
You’d be surprised by how little this comment section really is nasty. Yeah, everyone against Andi has held her feet over the fire, but she has deserved it. If the section was really nasty, even strips that don’t normally involve her would still be yelling at her.
Remember, Andi is the closest thing we have to a de facto “bad guy.” Even if both working at the same goal, Andi and Todd are not allies in any way, shape, or form. And Andi hasn’t received that scene that exonerates her. We have an explanation, but that’s it. She is not redeemed and any redemption will be a long time coming.
Nobody likes a manipulator. Nobody likes seeing someone or something they cared for manipulated and people bond with fictional characters. Seeing Andi do something out and out cruel, and despite her reasoning what she did was cruel, it creates a hate vacuum centered on her.
As for the glee, there still might be anger at Andi, but they want to look at the positives, and that is assuring a scared little girl that she has people who care about her.
I think it’s less a constant stream of nastiness (which I’m quite glad we don’t deal with) and more the fact that when there is any nastiness it’s so different from the usual civil comments/conversations that it stands out all the more. Certain posters only seem to post (at least under particular names) when nastiness can be thrown out there without it looking like they’re taking things just a little way too seriously.
I’ve always said, if you look at Andi’s haters, each of us have a bad experience with manipulators, cheaters, and users more than likely. I know I have bad experience with all three. So Andi hits the big ole candy colored red berserk button many times to the tune of La Cucharacha. I’m just used to giving people I don’t like credit where credit is due while still hating them.
It wouldn’t surprise me if Andi was also a vegetarian. I mean after being together that long through Todd’s holier than thou phase it would make sense that they were vegetarians together. Hell, Andi probably never grew out of her holier than thou phase. At that point the bacon-ham combo would be a passive-aggressive screw you to Andi.
actually in an earlier strip where Andi was talking to Amanda, Andi mentions that she’ll make turkey bacon, which is meat.
Might be she just doesn’t eat red meat. I know several people who do that – they eat chicken and fish, but not pork or beef. For most of them it’s an ecological choice. (And before someone goes off on how salmon farming is bad, I don’t mean salmon. I mean lake fish, which are plentiful and fairly local over here.)
It’s more than possible to get wild-caught salmon. As for farmed fish, not all fish farms are bad. You just need to do your homework on where the fish farm in question is. Generally, your best bet is the US (due to the regulations we have here. Yes, dirty word, I know.), but, even here, some farms are better than others.
Sorry, but US is a country that allows feeding steroids and antibiotics to food beasts. I prefer to stick to the much stricter regulations (which aren’t a dirty word when it comes to food safety!) of not only EU, but my home country, Finland.
I know very well the pros and cons of fish farming, and how it can be done without large environmental costs, my “before someone goes off on” disclaimer was mainly meant for people like you, that get bogged down on such details.
This is not an attack on your person, by the way; you just happen to work as a perfect example on why I put that disclaimer in. =P
I’m pretty sure the EU has less strict regulations (or maybe I’m thinking of prescription drugs). Plus, there’s no proof that giving that stuff to animals effects us. Also, I think an animal that doesn’t get antibiotics is more harmful than one getting them.
Jay, most of the antibiotics fed to cattle is not for treating infections, but to promote growth. Cattle in the natural state eat mostly grass, which provides no nutrition until their gut bacteria ferments it and breaks down the cellulose into simpler carbohydrates that vertebrate digestions can assimilate. While these natural symbiotic bacteria make the nutrients available for the cow, they also take a share for themselves.
Feedlots feed them much more grain and other concentrated foods than their multiple stomachs are set up for. Then the feedlot adds low doses of antibiotics to _every_ feeding, which _partly_ suppresses the gut bacteria so the cattle get a larger share of the nutrients. They grow faster on less feed, but they’re less healthy than cattle fed with most of the calories as cellulose instead of starch and sugar.
When a disease is treated with antibiotics, the dose should be set high enough and continued long enough to kill all the bacteria it affects, then it ends. If you don’t kill all of the bacteria, the survivors are likely to evolve resistance to the antibiotics. The antibiotics fed to cattle are a much lower dose that leaves many surviving bacteria, and they are fed from weaning until a few weeks before butchering. By that time, their bacteria have evolved antibiotic resistance; if you eat rare meat, you are consuming bacteria that are immune to the most common antibiotics.
Their not showing any anger towards Andi might make her feel even worst than if they did.
Luke, and the letter to the Romans, work with that principle:
Luke: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you….”
Romans (part of it quoting Proverbs): “Never take your own revenge, beloved… if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if thirsty, give him a drink; for in doing so you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
The idea being that sometimes — not in every case, obviously, but sometimes — a villain who is met with kindness and forgiveness may change because of that alone.
And in other cases, when there is no change in the villain, there is change inside the heroes, because carrying around wellsprings of anger in your heart often does more damage than the villain ever did — and replacing it with better feelings, like compassion, can offer comfort and healing.
Actually, I was thinking of my father’s way of handling his enemies: “Always be nice to the people you hate the most – it really pi$$es them off.”
I like the way your father thinks.
I had an experience that relates to this. I had an accident with the head cheerleader’s mustang, in Fall, at night. Long story short, when her father arrived, he gave me his coat because I was shivering and wearing only a light t-shirt.
His kindness killed me and made me feel worse for hitting her. 🙁
Theo’s way of thinking about anger is here, panel 4: https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie206/
These two have raised three very different children to adulthood before now. They are quite patient, and experienced, and understand the need to put some drama aside while small ears are around. They can watch Andi squirm LATER.
They also thoroughly familiar with the experience of kids telling lies because they are afraid. They too understand the power of forgiveness.
Finally, they really really want to see their new grandkid, and raking Andi over the coals until she’s too terrified of them to visit, means she won’t be bringing Amanda by very often in the future.
That’s SO cute!
Mari, if you alienate Selkie during all of this, there will be a lot of people who will have a hard time forgiving you.
…And I really, REALLY hope Amanda’s up to this meeting. Mari’s acting so giddy I’m seeing a greeting hug, and we know that isn’t something Amanda’s likely to respond well to.
As for Theo and Mari not being seething balls of anger at Andi, not surprised. They’re a generation removed, and they’re still on “Yay, granddaughter!” mode. Anger at Andi can wait. Todd had to learn his maturity in this situation somewhere, after all. (which is one of the big reasons I blame Patricia for this so much more than I blame Andi…)
I think you probably meant Andi or Amanda in that first sentence.
No they clearly meant Mari. Which is silly, because it’s not like we can expect her not to be excited. If she’s a little more keen on Amanda tonight it’s not a big deal. She’s excited because something she thought was impossible just happened.
I think if anything, it’s more likely their giddiness will be contagious and Selkie will be excited about having a sister too. Even if this the specific sister is a poopy-head, just the concept of Having A Sister is pretty excitement-worthy!
How exactly is Mari likely to do anything to alienate Selkie here?
Selkie has waited a long time for a family to want her, and now, less than a year later, they’ve found their biological child hiding in plain sight. She could start wondering if her dad won’t want her anymore because he has his “real” daughter back. To a child, being adopted is second to finding your “real” family. Because, for a while, that’s how they perceive their biological family; the “real” family. That also means that they can feel less important than “real” children already existing or that come along later. It takes time for kids to feel secure enough in a new family to REALLY feel like they belong.
Remember that Selkie has had a bit of contact with her own “real” heritage, which is turning out (so far as she knows) to be kind of awesome. And she clearly feels totally secure by now with Mari and Theo. I don’t foresee her feeling bereft. She’s not going to worry that they won’t want her any more.
A bit jealous of all the attention being given to Amanda, sure, but that’s pretty normal between siblings anyway. Every good parent of a multi-child family sooner or later has to explain to the older ones that family love isn’t a limited commodity like bacon. More kids just creates more love. (Or… sometimes they don’t explain, they just demonstrate. That works, too.)
Fair, but on the other hand, meeting more of her people might increase her wonder at where her mother has gone (she’s found her heritage, but not her family, after all). Couple that with jealousy of Amanda finding her “real” family (and we know Amanda would want to lord it over her) and there could be resentment. I’m not just basing this off of the characters, but what has been observed in older adoptees and their conflicts with a new family. Older adoptees (over 3, for my purposes here) may remember their original family or they have been in the system since infancy, either way, you have a child without a sense of the permanence of family. They’re old enough to know that families SHOULD be forever, but experience taught them otherwise. As a result, some kids will act out to the extreme as a way to “test” their family (“Will they love me if I do this? How about this?”) or worry (like Heather) that the slightest infraction will get them “returned”. I’ve heard personal stories of children who will have panic attacks at the prospect of getting older and therefore less cute, because that’s why they thought they were adopted. These insecurities take a LOT of time to heal, to the point that a subset of grown adoptees advocate AGAINST adoption because the process was so difficult.
Not saying that’s what would necessarily happen, but Rens was wondering how Selkie might get alienated and I dug through my notes from Child and Family Therapy 201.
Remember. Amanda thought she found her ‘real’ family too when she was adopted and they abused her heavily. When she needed someone to be there for her when she was ‘returned’ all eyes were on Selkie. Amanda has just as much reason here to feel like SHE is the one who doesn’t belong. I think the biggest concern is getting Amanda dome therapy and providing a safe and loving environment for her.
So while her actions towards Selkie definitely should not be ignored, instead of punishing her they need to ask her why she’s doing what she’s doing.
Ok but Todd and his sibs are adopted so Amanda Marie is not Mari’s biological grandchild, therefore point null.
Well, keep in mind *most* of this family who adopted Selkie *isn’t* related biologically. Amanda is about as genetically related to Selkie’s grandparents as Selkie. I think this makes the whole situation all the more easier for both girls to embrace (and be embraced into).
I meant Mari. She’s very, VERY happy about the news she’s received, and may blurt out something that Selkie could take the wrong way. I’m not EXPECTING it to happen, but it looks like something that COULD easily happen. So I’m hoping Mari doesn’t step in something unpleasant, as it were.
I doubt she will – after all, adopted children to her ARE her children. Their adopted children ARE her grandchildren. She’s excited about having ANOTHER grandchild, not THE grandchild.
I don’t think she will. She’s added children in her family who were adopted in the past. This is the same thing—except the child is biologically her son’s (who *isn’t* biologically related to her). Her happiness actually seems contagious in these pages. Selkie seems at ease and happy herself.
Yeah, she’s thrilled to find a long-lost granddaughter, but she and Theo are both treating Selkie as part of the family as usual because, well, she IS. And I expect if Selkie knows the “thought she was DEAD” bit, she’ll understand their excitement. (And if she doesn’t, it’s only a matter of time before she finds out, since even Amanda knows.)
Why would she not respond well to a greeting hug? The first thing she did when she found out Andi is her mom was hug her and she is excited to meet her grandparents.
Maybe Amanda and Selkie will bond over their mutual love of bacon? Real bacon, not turkey bacon.
For some reason, “pork” decided to translate itself to “bork” and now I’m picturing Theo talking like the Swedish Chef
I had a teacher with the last name “Bork”. XD
I see that their excitement over seeing Amanda trumps any negative emotion they might have towards Andi’s deception that they don’t know about . There is a part of me that is mad at Andi’s mom about this whole mess about the lie about Amanda’s death. Let’s see how excited they are about getting to know the real Amanda .
Seeing how they are mature adults, they are probably going to really, really want to find Amanda’s previous family and beat them up.
Seeing how they are mature adults, they are probably going to not do that, but instead shower Amanda with attention, praise and care in the exact way that doesn’t ignite her trauma. When you only see the child Sometimes, it’s not that hard, after all.
Just so long as they make it clear that being a brat toward her sister is not going to be tolerated.
they have to make sure that goes both ways. ‘Manda’s not allowed to be mean to Selkie, Selkie’s not allowed to be mean to ‘Manda. At least in range (ear, eye, camera, telephone) of the grandparents.
I don’t get the hype about bacon. Ribs are clearly the best part.
Ribs, back, belly, shoulder, hock, loin, only parts I don’t like are the squeal, and the tail. Neither one seems very useful to me. Then,… I’ve never had to chase one, either.
Forgot rinds. Love them rinds.
This… Could still go both ways.
Amanda is going to meet two of the warmest, most welcoming grandparents she could have wished for as well as her biological father who is looking forward to learning about her.
But.
But.
BUT.
Selkie has had all of those for *MONTHS*. While /she/ was stuck in that rotten orphanage and thinking nobody wanted her, that *fish-faced FREAK* was basking in the love and attention and family that /she was supposed to have/.
As a wise man once said, it is in the nature of today that things will go very well, or very badly.
I wonder if finding out Todd was adopted will help with Amanda’s transition? Most humans like categories because they simplify things, and kids especially since there’s so much to learn. “My bio dad was adopted so therefore it makes sense that I have an adopted sister” would be perfectly sound logic from that standpoint. Though there are also ways knowing Todd was adopted could go badly, too…
It might give him a way into the mess that is Amanda’s psyche that not only is he adopted, but he was also abused by his first family, too. (So let’s hope Andi explains that one as well. It’s gonna be tricky but BOTH girls really need the help.)
Who said that?
Sounds like something from Discworld books, but I could be wrong.
“May you live in interesting times”. :3
An old Chinese curse.
I swear, just Wednesday night my family and I were having a discussion that ended in “Well, it all comes back to pork products.”
Reading this strip, it just occurred to me how bad it would be for Selkie if Todd was Orthodox Jewish. Imagine being congenitally carnivorous, and having to keep Kosher.
No meat and dairy together, so goodbye cheeseburgers and chili-cheese dogs. When Georgie came over, Todd made chicken nuggets for both of them, with regular flour breading on Georgies and some type of crispy butter shell on Selkie’s. Couldn’t do that. Eels aren’t kosher. And, of course, no ham, no bacon, no ribs, no pork chops.
😛
Well, yes, but all the purity things to do with kosher only apply to men who want to remain pure for ritualistic reasons (being able to sacrifice things to god), at least according to the Bible.
Hi! Sorry to interrupt the conversation, but that’s actually not quite true! I was raised orthodox Jewish in an orthodox community and my family has a Chassidic background, so I know my stuff when it comes to keeping Kosher! All of us – Jews, that is – are expected to keep 100% Kosher, men and women and anyone in between. The “remain pure for ritualistic reasons” comment sounds more like you’re referring to Cohenim men, who actually have to follow an additional set of restrictions on TOP of keeping kosher. Though the two things are actually entirely separate. And technically, in modern day life, are no longer expected to “remain pure” to the same extents, because the many services Cohenim used to preform are no longer done because there’s no longer a Beis Hamikdash.
As for you Alpo, you’ll be happy to know that restrictions on Jewish hallacha can be “bent” (so to speak) if someone’s life is on the line, because the law teaches that a human life is more valuable than dedication to the religion. For example, one can drive on Shabbos or eat dring Yom Kippur if not doing otherwise would endanger someone’s life/health. So if the argument can be made that Selkie has to mix dairy and meat, as well as eat things like eel to stay healthy, it might be tentatively allowed.
Hope this was helpful!
P.S. The reason why I’m able to respond to this comment on a Saturday is because even though I was raised Orthodox and am ethnically Jewish, I no longer practice 😉
I absolutely believe there would be a lot of halachic bending, but I am not sure if we could justify eliminating all rules. So long as kosher meat were available, there would be no real need to allow Selkie to mix milk/meat and/or to eat prohibited fish. The only rules that would be suspended would be those involving foods you must eat on Passover.
That said, this is a great fun question to ask a Rabbi.
Thank you for corrections – I was basing my comment solely on how Old Testament is now interpreted, not any real knowledge* of what all has been piled on top of that, since Xtianity split off from its mother religion.
*(Okay, okay, if I really wanted, I could go look at the Wikipedia article to find sources to the real info, but I don’t think any of us wants to go into arguments about religious stuff anyway.)
P.S. I was raised as Nordic Lutheran, but I’m these days more agnostic atheist with some animism thrown in. 😉
In your back pocket All that time? Didn’t it hurt?
I hope she’s making Something Todd can eat…. He probably has something in the ‘Fridge; Edam, Gruyere, Chihuahua, Roquefort, Wensleydale, Jack, there’s got to be something Gouda to eat in there.
I see grampa cooking “bacon & ham fusion” with Selkie specifically in mind to tell her without words “we still love you, you’re still family”. I notice while gramma is dancing and singing and excited that Selkie is NOT upset about it, she’s not showing any jealousy at all. Why not? She doesn’t feel threatened in any way. This is her tribe and they’re meeting a new member, period.
I’m sure since they raised a decent sized family of many adopted children they’ve learned all the best ways to ease transitions, smooth over first time meetings and probably a fair share of psychology mixed with good old fashioned live & learn experience. I predict it won’t be perfect, but they will be the ones to keep it from blowing up into a nuclear war.
Ugh, sorry for ‘wall-o-spam’ there. I was unaware I had to double space paragraphs so it all glumped up together 🙁
It’s fine! I totally agree with that. I know Selkie is jealous, but the grandparents show that they still care for Selkie
When you mention Chihuahua, you are talking about a variety of cheese…aren’t you?
I love the facial expressions in panel 6. And 7, too, for that matter.
Dammit Theo! >_<
That's something my dad would do..
This right here is why I love Grandpa Theo. XD
I can easily see Grandma’s elation switching to, “THIS is our lost angel?” as soon as Amanda start speaking. Knowing her, she may even say something derogatory about adopted kids as a dig at Selkie (now that she has her biological parents), without even realizing that Todd is adopted. Imagine her horror to seeing Todd’s parents when she does that.
This is the woman who adopted Todd. Todd, who’d been abused by his birth family.
I’m fairly sure she knows about the reactions of troubled kids, and how to deal with it and love them through it, based on the man Todd grew into.
I didn’t remember the part where we found out that Todd has been abused, although it makes sense since he was up for adoption and seemed like a little rebel as a child. Can you provide the link so I can brush up on that part?
I think they refer to this: https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie22/
Until Dave says one way or another, we don’t have a 100% positive proof that Todd was abused as a kid (he might’ve just been an angry child like Amanda, and gotten into a lot of fights), but he certainly identified with Selkie right from the start.
*embarrassed cough* Okay, so I ended up reading the comic from the beginning, after looking up that reference, but good thing I did, cause I ran into this! https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie246/
I’d call that fairly solid “yes” to the question “was Todd physically abused as a child?”
Speaking of heaven, Todd’s back tattoo makes sense now. Angel Wings with “T & A” written below it? https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie133/
At first I assumed T & A meant something different. Todd being Todd, that confused me. If the angel stands for the baby, and “T & A” stands for the initials of the parents, though, that makes much more sense.
Oh, good catch! I’d quite forgotten about that. It makes perfect sense.
I’ve been assuming that the angel wings just mean that T & A were in love back then. Yeah, it could have been a memorial to A-M, but I’m not convinced. I’ll wait and see if it gets officially explained (in-story, or by Dave in comments).
Mari and Theo are familiar with wounded children. I think that even when Amanda opens her mouth and says something disparaging to/about Selkie, they will shut it down, but not withdraw hope and affection from Amanda. This is hardly their first rodeo.
Also, I’m looking forward to the lightbulb over Amanda’s head going on with the realization that Todds adopted. Selkie would never be less their grand daughter than Amanda simply because Amanda is genetically related to Todd. I think it might spark a huge epiphany.
I just saw your comic a few beneath mine at Sanda and Woo.com and replied to it that I saw you!
And…. I’m a crazy person…. sorry about that…. It still happened though! YAY I LOVE YOUR WORK
I would not be surprised to learn that part of the reason for the ecstatic grandparental mood, unalloyed by shock or dismay, is that Todd deliberately, out of compassion for Andi, explained it to them in a vague enough way that they don’t quite have the full picture yet.
Todd doesn’t know more than that Andi told him that Amanda died at birth/was born dead. I doubt he kept that from his parents, since they had an urn that supposedly contained Amanda’s ashes.
Giving Amanda up at birth may have been 50% blame shared by Andi and her mother both, but the lie about the baby having died was 100% Andi. Todd has realized as much, but I don’t think he’s yet told his parents. Not sure if he’ll explain, either, rather than let his parents ask Andi how come the kid isn’t dead after all?
And nasty though it is, I can’t wait for Amanda to hear that her own precious mom not only gave her up and then told everyone that she was dead. (Yes, I know Amanda already expressed her views about that. That’s why I said it’ll be nasty. :P)
… Did he just do a Grandpa joke? A Dad Squared joke?
Indeed. And as an uncle, I know my fair share of them.
When you want a pun induced groan, uncles and dads will be there. When you want a really bad joke that still gets giggles, uncles and dads will be there. When you want your kids to do a double take, uncles and dads will be there. Granddads as well.
Only tangentially related, but perhaps Selkie should read this:
http://thecodelesscode.com/case/205
(It’s about pluralses.)
Won’t apply to Selkie – it’s not her fault English doesn’t always apply plural grammar to words like many/some languages do.
I’ll use my native, Finnish, as an example.
“Koira juoksee. Koira juoksi.” = “Dog runs. Dog ran.”
“Koirat juoksevat. Koirat juoksivat.” = “Dogs run. Dogs ran.”
The plural always changes the verb. It doesn’t do that in English. (And I intentionally left the articles off of the words, not just because Finnish doesn’t use them, but also because this way it’s a simpler comparison.)
I have a feeling Mari and Theo are going to be big helpers for Amanda—as well as Amanda’s and Selkie’s relationship. They are kind loving and accepting people, and have already proved themselves resilient and amazing at raising a troubled child who entered the family when he was older. I bet they are going to be amazing beacons to Todd (and possibly Andi, too—she could benefit from some loving older family members in her life who have an idea on how to be *good parents*).
No one is commenting on Theo’s S-rank Dad Joke game?