Uuhh…
-EDIT- Based on some conversation in the Selkie Discord server, I modified the director commentary for this strip to something a bit more interesting.
The other day I met a girl with pointed elf ears. Not fake slip-ons, surgical body mods. They looked natural. I basically winged the waitress's character design since she's not gong to be on-screen long. Almost gave her similar elf ears, but I figured it would need too much external explanation.
It’s almost like if you keep the existence of another species secret folks will be left to make the wrong conclusions. 😀
^ Right? At least her go-to assumption wasn’t that they had some kind of awful disease. I like this girl already.
she certainly is nice! better then the shoe-lady, and compared to that jerk at pool she´s basically a saint – she deserves the big, meat+fish heavy order comming her way!
To be fair too, I’ve met plenty of cosplayers where I had to do a double take because I could swear the makeup looked natural and realistic enough.
Honesty though, I don’t see why they don’t just start telling people in small groups. Maybe start with people they are already friends with then move onto friends of friends and just keep going until it becomes a “Town Secret.”
At the very least tell The Orphanage kids and let them in on the secret, atleast then it could be passed of as Kids imagination if they blab.
Poor lady; she’s trying to be friendly and is ending up doing what Jessie did when she first met Selkie–cramming her foot really hard down her throat.
Did anyone else totally read the suggestion as “Children’s fingers?”
Benny, perhaps?
Is it wrong I think they should just run with the makeup idea instead of causing a scene and embarrassing the waitress?
It only wrong if you think they should do that regardless if they are comfortable with it. Like if they all rather play that card for there own comfort fine, but clearly Benny is not ok with it. So, no he shouldn’t have to let it pass. And no he shouldn’t have to let it pass for the comfort of others either, even if one of those others is his mother.
Him being OK or complying with a massive Top Secret directive where failure to comply could mean the extinction of an entire species.
It’s easy to get caught up with the characters, but there are things more important than the feelings of a 13 year old at any given moment.
But sarnothi are supposed to be a secret so telling the truth is probably not on the table. So would telling her anorher lie like it’s not makeup but a genetic condition be better?
well….. their appearance IS based upon their genetic makeup… so… from a certain point of view, it *is* a “genetic condition”… it just happens to be a normal one…
Hehe. “Genetic Makeup.”
It’s BOTH!
Benny absolutely could go along with a white lie to protect the feelings of his mother who is clearly shy and struggling with this more than he is. The waitress doesn’t need their entire life story.
The presumption that a copping mechanism of aggression indicates less emotional distress then one of timidity is a very toxic one. It leads to people being repeatedly punished rather then rehabilitate. Note I said ‘repeatedly’ ignore the cause then the crimes or behaviour repeats.
I would have thought cosplay would be better than “unidentified disease” or “genetic condition” — since they can’t say what they *really* are.
Avery, being CIA, should just probably roll with this and have a talk with his kid about proper behavior in public.
What is she supposed to assume? That ther’s a secret race that no one is supposed to know about without Top Secret Clearance? Cosplay is at least a friendly non-sicky option so it shows she’s not afraid of them. And who knows – with a place famous for its smells gamers and sca after fights and such may love being here for non-judgment.
Right. It’s kinda rude of Benny and Avery to be treating her like this. DX
i can safely say i have done what carrie just did way more times than i can count just to keep the peace.
What? No offers of Extreme Fajitas?
At least Carrie has manners. Seriously boys? She’s not treating them like they’re sick and doesn’t know anything else about them.
I really ain’t comfortable with people who’re nasty to service workers.
i feel like brown and todd both have severely unrelistic expectations for the ppl around them, i honestly find it hard to be on their side when they get hard headed protective. if the person socially slips up, just politely lead them in the right direction or let it slide, if the persons an asshole, your still beter off politely leading them in the right direction. its only when somone shows knowing wilful malice toward u or what ur defending that you should get uppity and angry. people are strange, and political correctness is no where near an exact science(ive had things concidered politically correct offend the hell out of me). but im not sayin they should jsut shut up and take it, i saying theres nothing to take, no one is showing them ill intent, they are misguided and ill informed. either take the steps to help them, or let it go cause you cant lash out on somone for not knowing
Todd hasn’t said anything but chicken fingers. So I’m giving him a pass there. Unless he doesn’t like certain sauces. The jerk.
yeah so far he has a pass on this one but overall hes had the agressive attitude
That’s huge for Todd given it wasn’t that long ago he was smug about being vegetarian.
That’s what I like about this comic. Apart from a fantasy amphibious people from Lake Superior, it features real people doing real people things. Todd does insensitive things not because he is an ass or doesn’t care, but because this is how someone who isn’t socially adept actually behaves. He doesn’t know but also makes the effort to learn from situations when he is made aware. For him to be a jerk, he has to be made aware of what he is doing and, this is important, elect to ignore it and continue behaving as such intentionally.
There isn’t a villain in this comic.
I can honestly relate somewhat to their situation. I’ve had bad psoriasis for a long time (it showed up when I was in high school, over 20 years ago by now). Normally it shows up in places you can relatively easily hide–elbows and knees, sometimes your back. Me? NOPE. All over my face. So I got odd looks. I’d get people staring. Every now and then someone would say something (usually along the lines of “What happened to you?!”), usually little kids who didn’t know better. It comes with the territory of being different.
Well said, Kotih!
I like that her first conclusion was one without malice behind it, but there are times when it’s best not to comment on what you see about customers. Hopefully any offense taken by Benny’s outburst will be curbed when they explain that’s what they look like.
that sounds awfully nice for a person that knows nothing about them, it even sounds like a praise on their skin color and pattern
I like this girl
I actually love that the mom looks all flattered. Like, she’s over the “omg she noticed that I don’t look human” part, and she’s like “aww she thinks I’m pretty!”
Umm… Yah.. I don’t really get some of the attitudes. It feels like a commentary about how some people might wrongly react to people of a different race or people with some sort of deformity. I get that but this is people of a totally different species AND it’s in a society where very few people know that this other species even exists. It would be different if they weren’t a secret but this situation is more like if an anthropomorphic fish walked into a restaurant and demanded to know what everyone was gawking at. It’s not really their fault!
Ok, I also get that they are supposed to claim it is some sort of a ‘genetic condition’. But come on, raise of hands.. who has ever seen a genetic condition like that? Insisting people buy that story and judging them for gawking as though the cover story were true is just judging them for not being gullible. Hey.. it’s just like religion!
Think of it this way.. imagine a world that is so PC that people actually see someone like Selkie, assume it was just some sort of ‘condition’ and ignore them like any other stranger. Imagine an alien landing and trying to make contact with such a people.
Alien: “Take me to your leader”
Human: “You shouldn’t joke about your condition kid you are a special and unique snow flake with value just like the rest of us. Do you need a hug?”
Alien: “”
I tried to indicate an action with greater/less than. HTML ate it.
That was supposed to end:
Alien: Files away thinking this species it just too stupid for contact
And that’s why automatically dismissive reactions to people with disabilities or people you assume have disabilities are shitty.
The whole concept of “political correctness” somehow replacing “being decent to other people” as the aim of the social justice movement in people’s minds has a lot to answer for.
Honestly, nobody is going to think that Sarnothi are real nonhuman sentients, because *nobody has informed the public.* And no disease that doesn’t kill you makes your appearance change that much. So yes, they look like cosplayers. Chill the hell out, Brown.
… what they said.
Okay, so this is obviously a complex situation playing out with an influence from a number of factors, both real-world and in-universe. But I gotta say, I’m surprised at how positively this interaction is being received.
No, I don’t think this waitress is evil or even a bad person, but this is still clearly a microaggression and Benny and Brown’s reactions are fairly justified. Yes, the Sarnothi are a secret and thus it’s unreasonable to assume she understands they’re of a different race, but seriously, “cosplay”? That may be “nicer” than being treated with fear or being called fish or whatever, but to go up to someone who looks different – for whatever reason – and assume that they’re in costume is still pretty insulting.
I’m sorry, but just because a remark was made with a smile and some blissful ignorance doesn’t make it any less thoughtless or hurtful to the person receiving it. I’m not saying one should or shouldn’t be offended by it, but one definitely shouldn’t object if the recipient (in this case, Benny) IS offended by it – just as valid a response as Carrie potentially being flattered and/or relieved – and one definitely shouldn’t be championing this kind of behaviour from the waitress. Who, again, is not a bad person, but is totally committing a microaggression here that isn’t sanctified by her friendly demeanor.
For what it’s worth, I find this scene to be excellently written and a great exploration of the many, many forms racism/prejudice takes – it’s not always going to materialize as yelled slurs or looks of fear, as we’ve seen in the past. I also applaud the divergent reactions from Carrie and Benny, whose experiences are both valid and have different ways of coping with their marginalization. As always, this is a complex situation that isn’t black and white and I really commend Dave for exploring it, because these experiences are totally reflective of reality and are worth exploring, even if they’re more subtle and nuanced than having some mustache-twirling villain yell racist slurs or something.
It can’t be racism if she doesn’t know they are a race.
To be fair, cosplay is the first thing you’d think if you in the real world entered a bar and there were Sarnothi chilling at the stools.
I’m not saying he’s not got the right to feel hurt – you’ve no control over what hurts you or not. I’m saying he shouldn’t fault the waitress for it, she’s done literally nothing wrong. I mean, if commenting on a strange situation with no malicious intent and with a smile on your face thinking about the likeliest situation is a microaggression, we would be forced to admit that if a wizard pops out in my garden right now when I’m writing this message and I go up to him and say “wow, you’re a wizard!” I’m committing a microaggression, I should have just gone up to him and waited for him to say if he’s a mermaid or an eagle who just happens to know how to polymorph and teleport.
The race parallel does not work quite well when the metaphor is something that does not actually happen in real life. Tell me which one of you can honestly say, straight to my face, without lying, that if a green men with teeth rang his bell and opened his door with a pizza in hand he’d just say “Hey, you’re late, here’s your money”.
She did something wrong, to talk about what she was seeing. That was the same Jessie did: https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie57/
Waiters don’t need to chat with costumers and even if they do, they should know when to shut up.
People in general should be more wise about what to talk and have better filters to avoid saying the first thing that come to their minds.
Different scenario. There is literally no disease in existence that can turn a person’s skin green or purple.
This one is a scenario where a person woke up in the morning, like you and me, with the deep seeded understanding that the only species we will ever run into in our lives that can hold a conversation is a fellow human. There is absolutely no context that anyone at that table can remotely assume that this person is doing anything wrong.
This is where the concept of microaggression turns into one of selfishness on the part of the person claiming to be aggressed upon. Here, Bennie and Agent Brown invented, in their own heads, a set of extremely specific situations unique to just them and immediately applied that to an outside party. They simply assumed this server knew:
1. Bennie, Carrie and Selkie are a completely different species than human.
2. Are refugees from a brutal civil war.
3. That there is some long, culturally well known history of using “cosplayer” as a slur against Sarnothi.
4. Used it intentionally as an attack on them.
It is an amazing leap of faith to come to the conclusion that the server was doing this. As the people claiming microaggression, only Benny and Agent Brown are in the wrong in this scenario as anyone claiming microaggression is usually in the wrong. They couldn’t keep their emotions in check and lashed out at an innocent third party.
“There is literally no disease in existence that can turn a person’s skin green or purple.”
Well, there was the Fugate family in Kentucky. They had methemoglobinemia. Their skin was purplish/blue. And it is extremely rare. So, who’s to say there isn’t a skin condition that can make your skin green?
Now, I would never come to the conclusion that this poor waitress is in any way prejudice toward this family. She is coming to a conclusion that any one of you would come to, if you lived anywhere near a city that hosts conventions for sci-fi, fantasy, video games, and/or comics.
And yes, she has every right to speak. She has every right to try to chat up her customers, as good wait-staff do (it’s called trying to get a better tip). As others have stated, she can’t be prejudice, as she doesn’t know this is a non-human species/race of people. She’s assuming, as any in the real world would do, that these are people dressed up for something.
In the science world, micro (emotion) where you put ANY emotion there at all refers to where someone’s face shows what they’re really feeling for a split second before conscious control takes over.
In order for something to be a micro aggression means that there needs to be a split moment of some aggressive emotion apparent right before the person’s face goes to the emotion they’re trying to project.
There is no microaggression here. There is a split second of shock and confusion. Those are not aggressive emotions. And those are appropriate emotions when you’re expecting a bunch of humans and are confronted with people who look like they didn’t come from this planet.
Seriously, people can’t control their micro expressions. They’re what happens on the person’s face before the conscious mind takes control. Literally, they happen before control. If it happens before control, there’s no way to control it. Don’t judge people on the stuff they can’t control. Judge them on their conscious actions.
People who judge others for “micro aggressions” seem like the kind of people to break up with someone because “I had a dream you were cheating on me.” Which is insane. Try to take into account the other person’s intentions when you’re deciding whether they should have said that or not.
The question about cosplay was appropriate. The comment about the makeup… I would’ve waited until the cosplay was confirmed or denied.
I believe microaggression is used, outside of science, to mean an offense based on gender or race of almost imperceptible entity and often unmeant by the offender, but still present. That’s the meaning Nanchatte used it in, I believe.
I do agree that there is no microaggression in this case, under either definition, though. My motives are in my first post^^
What in the world is your definition of “microaggression?”
The waitress, who has never seen or heard of Sarnothi, has drawn the ONLY sane conclusion available to her: that these people are wearing costume-level makeup. Given that conclusion, complimenting them on the skill and appearance of their makeup is purely friendly.
If you want to assert that “microaggression” is purely in the eye of the recipient and carries zero judgement of the person doing the action, then this can be called a microaggression. But I really don’t think you intend to go there – to say someone can microaggress while doing absolutely nothing wrong.
Yeah, I’m gonna say: If you had no exposure to, say, Star Trek, and happened to see some Klingon cosplayers wandering around, and understood “that is not how humans normally look” and happened to jump to “they must be cosplayers” and said something to acknowledge that line of logic (without any malice, just acknowledging a fact, maybe positively even like this waitress did)…
…then you would be perfectly sane and reasonable, and not in any way in the wrong.
And this principle holds true in worlds where those Klingons aren’t actually cosplayers, but actual Klingons — or where there’s another race that looks like Klingons but has no relationship to Star Trek.
The only place it wouldn’t hold true is if humans in general were expected to KNOW this.
You know the basic principle “If you hear hoofbeats, expect horses, don’t jump to zebras”? That is a reasonable standard that humans are expected to live by. We as humans make assumptions based on the data we have at the time, and reasonable assumptions favor the common over the rare or impossible.
And doesn’t it seem to anyone else like “assuming a person has an illness or genetic defect” is a far worse assumption than “assuming they’re dressing up as their favorite awesome-looking humanoids from a show they like”?
So no, I have no problem with the waitress, and feel she didn’t deserve that strong of a comeback. Seems more like snapping at someone because your day has been crappy, even though that person had nothing to do with how crappy your day has gone.
I find it interesting that Benny is using Jesus Christ as an expletive. Now, I don’t actually remember exactly how long it’s been since the Sarnothi civil war started – 5 years or something? And is Benny about in his early teens? So he’d have lived in American society since he was about 8-9, if I’m not mistaken.
Is it normal for immigrant/refugee children to adopt new cultural mannerisms in that time? I’m thinking he’d still instinctively use Sarnothi expletives, but maybe going to school with American children for 5 years and having an American stepfather would make him adopt American/anglophone expressions quicker.
What makes it particularly interesting however, is the religious aspect. Jesus Christ isn’t just a generic expletive like a bodily function. It’s the god worshiped by America’s predominant religion. And Benny comes from a culture with a completely different religious tradition.
Do, say, Hindu Indians who migrate to a western country at around that age quickly start using Christian-derived expressions? I don’t actually know, but it’s actually a pretty interesting question now that I’m starting to think about it.
Well, I don’t know, English is totally my second language and I am not a Christian by any standard, and I come from a very different culture, but I use things like “Jesus (Christ)!” in my conversation. For me they’re just phrases that I’ve learned to be useful for adequately expressing certain emotions in certain situations: it doesn’t mean I have to believe in one religion or the other.
So the waitress gets yelled at for voicing her very logical idea that the Sarnothi are cosplayers instead of guessing they have a genetic condition or are a different sdpecies? This strip does not make sense to me.
As someone who has a very rare, in USA, genetic inflammatory condition which causes bright red rashes on my wrists and ankles, I am very used to questions. Most questioners were genuinely concerned, especially because I was in a medical workplace and there was worry about contagion. My friends and acquaintances were concerned for me. Of course, there were always haters, but I was just as polite to them as anyone else. Once I got a proper diagnosis and treatment, the rash slowly receded and now comes only with flares.
Woah, it’s almost like THIS ENTIRE COMIC STRIP IS BASED ON THE MOST POORLY THOUGHT OUT PREMISE IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.
Internet hyperbole at it’s finest, everyone.
Ah, sweet naivety. Cracked.com did an article on bad webcomics once, and there were some doozies. I think this was even back before Sonichu.
Personally, I like this comic a lot. Even if I didn’t, though…well, the internet is a dark and scary place, and Deviant Art is fraught with many perils.
Your comment is the equivalent of going to someone’s house and peeing all over the furniture because you don’t like the upholstery.
Don’t like this webcomic? Read another.
…I…I want pointy ears now. ;_;
Something tells me said shrimp platter may be a hit, once they get past the unfortunate comment.
OK, so a lot of commenters here have responded poorly to the waitress. Some have used morally weighted language like “microaggresion.”
Yes, it is an awkward situation. Yes, she guessed wrong. But she reached the ONLY sane conclusion available to her! And then, from that conclusion, she acted completely appropriately.
If you make it a moral issue, then you are saying that either you are morally wrong, or those disagreeing with you are morally wrong.
The best way out of this dilemma is to back off, chill out, and acknowledge that there is not a moral issue here. No one in the strip is being a Bad Person.
I’m not saying you’re Morally Wrong for making this a moral question. But I am saying you’re mistaken. The waitress literally acted the best way she could have. If you say she is Morally Wrong, then you are condemning everyone on earth to being Morally Wrong, and the only healthy choice everyone has is to ignore you.
Or, maybe, try to point out that you’re shooting yourself in the foot – you’re taking a position that is Incorrect (out of alignment with reality) and will not Get You What You Want.
Okay, this is clearly aimed at me so I guess I’ll try to elaborate on my original post. First of all, I’m sorry to have ruffled some feathers.
Second of all, I said (multiple times) that I don’t think the waitress is a bad person at all. I really tried to make it clear that I wasn’t making that kind of moral judgment in my post, but apparently it was inadequate. I was afraid of coming off as making a mountain out of a molehill, because I once again don’t think the interaction depicted here is a HUGE deal, I just think it’s worth commenting on because the reactions here have been so typical of how marginalized people are told to react to microaggressions – “just take the compliment!” “it’s not her fault she didn’t know any better!” etc. – so hopefully I can articulate my thoughts better.
It’s not that her conclusion is illogical – sure, cosplay does make sense and I can see how she’d get to it. It’s that she vocalized it, didn’t wait for them to answer, and then doubled down, which is not “literally the best way she could have acted”, in my opinion. Again, not saying she acted terribly out of line, but yes, calling attention to their appearance and referring to it as a costume is a dicey reaction at best, and I immediately raised my eyebrows before even getting to Benny’s outrage.
And to respond to your other post, um, yes microaggressions can occur with little or no intent to actually offend. The fact that they’re covert and sometimes even said under the guise of friendliness is what makes them micro.
I’m not sure where the big problem is. I am (for the nth time) not saying she’s a bad person, I’m not saying I dislike her character, I’m not saying she should be punished, I’m not saying she’s a bigot, I’m not saying that her comment CAN’T be well received, I’m not saying this is unrealistic – all I’m saying is that, someone approaching a group of people who look visibly different and calling attention to that, asserting that they look like they’re in costume, was questionable at best. Realistic, kneejerk, young, understandable? behaviour, sure, but still questionable. In other words, not inherently good because she had good intentions, and not exempt from hostility simply because it was “logical”.
The people who are asserting that the “race parallel” doesn’t work because Sarnothi have slit noses and sharp teeth and all that are, imo, doing the comic a disservice because Dave has clearly worked hard to maintain these parallels in order to give this story some real-world impact/relatability – something that I LOVE when the comic explores – and to cry “but it’s not the same because they’re green and there are no green ppl irl!!1!” is missing the point.
Gonna say it again for anyone who may have forgotten during the time it took to read my post: I don’t think anyone is being a bad person here.
Hm. “covert” and “guise of friendliness” is not what I was getting at. I was not asking about “intent to offend.”
I asked whether someone could commit a microaggression “while doing absolutely nothing wrong.”
Your answer seems, again, to be getting into moral territory with words like “covert” and “guise” – it sounds like you’re saying microaggressions are deceptive. Note that there’s a huge difference between deception and confusion; deception is not innocent, while confusion often is.
She did something wrong though – commented on their appearance unsolicited. That’s the wrong thing she did.
From her point of view though, those are not their ‘appearance’ as in the sense of physical appearance – as others have pointed out, thinking that it’s makeup is not a preposterous assumption. So is she still really doing something wrong by complimenting on a customer’s makeup? Or should she strive to keep her dialog with customers to a strict minimum and never initiate any friendly talk? Personally, that’s probably how I would go about things if I were a waiter (well in fact I would probably just do a bad job at it), and I’ve also felt uneasy facing overly enthusiastic waiters before, but at the same time I can’t fault those who prefer their interaction with customers to be a bit warm and fuzzy.
On the other hand, I agree equally that Benny and Mr. Brown have every right to be upset and frustrated – precisely because they know things she doesn’t. Expressing this feeling (they don’t seem to be unnecessarily aggressive either) should be viewed as constructive if we accept the fact that sometimes what we do have unfortunate consequences even when it’s not “wrong”. I think the waitress would agree that she’d rather them pointing out her misunderstanding on the spot and have the opportunity to apologize, than to find out a few days later that she’d earned the restaurant a one-star Yelp rating. 😉
It’s a waitress’s job to try to interact with customers in a friendly manner (a Diplomacy or Charisma check).
“Oh, wow, what an awesome clown costume!” is a perfectly reasonable way to do that.
“Oh, wow, your cosplay makeup is so good it looks like you walked right off the set of Star Wars!” is not unreasonable.
Ignoring appearances entirely is far less personable than commenting on them when it seems warranted. People tend to like to be complimented on their creative endeavors, and cosplay is one of the big ones (“That’s the best Samus costume I’ve ever seen!”). If you have no reason to assume something other than cosplay, there’s no reason not to comment on it.
Waitress is doing her job, and being a reasonable human being.
I’m not saying Dave hasn’t worked for it, it’s clearly one of the focuses of this arc. I’m saying this way has inconveniences. It’s not the fact it does not exist in our world, it’s the fact it does not exist in theirs, as far as they’re concerned.
It’s past the point where it can be called a disease, somatic traits are completely different. In fact I’m surprised anyone would accept that answer with less than arched eyebrows. It’s almost as if an alien was walking amidst them: the first thing you’d think is they were cosplayers.
Since people seeing them cannot reasonably be expected to think it’s a disease, and neither a new race since it’s outside the realm of the normal possibilities a sane person considers, thinking they are cosplayers will be the normal response, just as if there was somehow a medieval man stranded in Milan. People would immediately think he’s a cosplayer, and maybe even say so to him, compliment his costume. The medieval man shouldn’t quite feel microaggressed, or, if he does (there is no accounting for feelings), he isn’t justified in taking out the frustration at being addressed continously on those who are doing that, since it’s a completely rational thing.
People forget that you can react angrily at people for a thing that hurts you only if they did something wrong. Repetition of a normal behavior can annoy, but is nothing you are justified in being angry at.
I’m not saying you’re saying she’s a bad person, and neither this is an attack to you personally. I’m saying she did nothing wrong. The concept of microaggression, in and of itself, is not wrong. It’s just that people use it to justify being angry at simple things, without stopping to consider if those are actually reasonable behaviours.
There’s no accounting for feelings. You CAN feel hurt for something, and no one will tell you you’re wrong. But reactions are a controlled response, so before you react you must weigh. Did the one who hurt you do something irrational? unjustifiable? If not, do not react angrily. Keep your hurt with you. Not doing so is, if anything, rude to the blameless party.
We all might need a little more tolerance. Before acting, thinking “am I right in this?”. A little more considering the other party’s situation. A little less “I”, and a bit more “Us”.
I forgot to conclude the point on the parallel being not ideal.
The fact you can’t possibly react angrily at people who point out your somatic traits, as illustrated above, quite defeats the purpose of illustrating racial social issues. To do so, it would have been better to make Sarnothi a known truth, if not so common. That way, the speaker knows he’s making fun of a race if he speaks. Or might consider it. Therefore, she’s accountable, therefore, it relates to our world, where existance of races is known.
Also, please do not say I’m crying. I honestly understand you’re feeling attacked right now from the many responses, but I in particular kept it civil throughout my message, this last sentences included. I’m providing reasons for my conclusions, so please do not demean them as completely emotional, nor attack me personally in any way. I’m here to discuss. If you make a compelling case, as I always make a point of saying, you’ve got a shot at changing my ideas. That’s what I’m trying to do too, expose you to a different point of view. It’s only fair you get to do so too, but it only works if both of us keep an open mind.
I honestly don’t get why everyone in the comments is all “foot in mouth.” And what not.
Most people aren’t aware. This kind of response or reaction is perfectly reasonable.
Honestly, people in the service industry would do better to say nothing than make an assumption, but you honesty can’t blame them.
And the microaggression bullshit? Stop, this isn’t Tumblr.
Oooh, the “this isn’t Tumblr” card! Good one! That’ll teach us feminazi SJWs.
I’d like to bring up something I don’t believe anyone has mentioned yet. This is not the same as an encounter with a random stranger on the street or in a store. This waiter was obviously surprised and her initial reaction was rude. If she was “random other person on the street,” she could say, “I’m so sorry” or “Please excuse my rudeness” and skedaddle before getting her foot any further down her throat.
The waiter doesn’t really have that option. Here in the U.S., most waiters work for tips. That means they can legally be paid below the minimum wage (as little as $2/hour or less in some places). It is *literally* a waiter’s job to be friendly and gregarious to their customers – their livelihood depends on it.
(Not to mention their jobs; many restaurants will get rid of rude or taciturn waitstaff, especially family restaurants, which this seems to be.)
This waiter wants to keep her tip and her job. She was surprised and taken aback and didn’t respond well. Now she’s trying to backpedal and fix it, probably the only way she can think of. Simply shutting up or leaving might be the “best” and most respectful response, but may not be completely viable in her situation. I know “intent is not magic” but I believe it’s also important to consider context.
There was nothing rude about it.
I am fully with Carrie on this one. I am a fairly private person. I don’t take it personally if a service worker can’t instantly size up everything about me in a glance. I’d be weirded out if they could. The waitress is showing every sign of doing her job: being friendly, relaying the specials, and bringing out food. You don’t owe each other anything more in this interaction.
Consider if the parallel is sexual orientation instead of race. The waitress has made a wrong assumption. Benny would like to be out. But in this situation he can’t be out without also immediately outing two other people at the table who would maybe prefer not to share this personal information with a stranger in a public setting. He’s allowed to feel annoyed but acting on his annoyance would only make the situation worse.
Um.. yah.. ok, I came back and read the comments that came after my last one and I’m still thinking the same. Even great cosplay makeup would have to look fake to some degree up close like that. And no, no disease genetic or otherwise looks anything like a Sarnothi.
Given that our planet is already pretty well explored and we haven’t found any species to talk to other than a little bit of strained sign language with a few other primates… I think the most logical conclusion would be aliens. And.. if one is too non-curious that given the momentous revalation of life outside our planet they still wouldn’t want to go ask questions… or if they were too PC to do so.. well damn. That would just be sad.
I said aliens would be the most logical conclusion.. but back to the actual story.. they are not aliens they are another intelligent species right here on Earth… That really doesn’t change anything does it? It is still a HUGE revelation that should have everyone very very excited and curious.
The moment they went out in public for the first time people should have been all over them with questions! Pretending to be just strange looking humans isn’t at all realistic.
Please don’t take that as a criticism of the story. Stories don’t have to be realistic all the time. I enjoy the story. I’m just saying any anger towards people’s reactions are kind of stretching it.
Oh.. and everyone does realize.. it’s not just the green or blue coloring. They have no noses, giant black eyes with small bright yellow pupils and webbed fingers/feet. That’s not human.
Also.. one exception.. the “charity case” comment… yah.. that guy was being offensive. I’m with you on that one.
Most of the people I know with pointed ears get all kinds of strange reactions to it. I want extended ears, Numan/Newman style, which requires quite a bit more money, but I’ll get them eventually.
People react to things as simple as clothing (I have a Skirt and Mantle/Capelet that I wear in cold weather, which are extremely comfy and easier to take off than heavier stuff, and I get quite a few comments on them), so the positive idea of “You do cosplay?” is typically well-received. Some people hate cosplay itself (See: Arguments over the word “Costume” by contrast), so some find the idea offensive.
Iunno I think that’s the nicest thing you can say
“you look weird in a way that definitely can’t be real according to my understanding of the world, but that is so much COOLER than reality that people would make themselves up to look that way intentionally!” which is certainly how I always felt I’d react to monsters.
but given this comic and its target audience I suppose I’m meant to find it horribly offensive
To be honest, while I did intend for the waitress’s comment to be portrayed as slightly rude, I didn’t really expect it to go the way it has with reader reactions. Never expected to see such a heavy back-and-forth over two lines of dialogue from a character who doesn’t even have an established name.
While I’m here, I have a very strange question for you ColdFusion. Have you had issues on other sites with your comments not appearing?
Reason I ask is that I did a long-put-off sweep of my spam folder, and found several of your comments tucked away there. I didn’t realize that was the case because the notification emails I get sent to my phone show your comments exactly the same as an approved comment would look. And I didn’t really think to audit the comments for false-positives until a couple days ago. So I owe you an apology, because apparently several of your comments have been unwittingly hidden away. I also figured I’d ask if you have had similar issues elsewhere, see if I can try to fix it.
Anyhoo, sorry again for the unintended modding. 😡
Yep, WordPress apparently thinks I’m a spammer. I appreciate you checking the spam filter though since it’s basically been going on for ages now. most other sites like this don’t bother, or they don’t actually see the comment in a spam filter either.
This one site straight up blocked me once, THAT was weird.
Isn’t Todd a vegetarian?
Yes e is. It’s not a thing I felt warranted on-screen dialogue, but I felt he wouldn’t want to order a meatless appetizer since it would ostracize half the table. He’s fine with rolls or crackers as an appetizer for himself.
Aren’t chicken fingers breaded, though?
I’m genuinely curious now; just what is she supposed to say? Consider her options:
A) She cannot possibly know the truth, because it is Agent Brown’s job to stop her from knowing.
B) Guessing the truth, that these people are magical humanoid alien fish-people and part of a government conspiracy, is both paranoid and rude.
C) She shouldn’t assuming that some trait is a disease when in fact it is a natural part of someone. People have made that assumption about things like black skin or freckles, and that assumption is considered rude.
D) According to several posters above, guessing that this is a costume constitutes a mocroaggression somehow. This will be disappointing news to cosplayers, who are generally thrilled to talk about the characters they resemble.
D2) Actually, that’s worthy of a tangent, because the “magical alien conspiracy” line can cover a lot of aspects of a person’s appearance. Is someone wearing nice earrings? The waitress shouldn’t compliment them, because that person might be some kind of magical humanoid nonhuman and the earrings might be some form of antennae and assuming otherwise is a microaggression. Wearing a Cubs hat? She can’t say “go Cubs”, because this breed of magical alien might have heads in the shape of monogrammed baseball caps. Wearing a wedding dress? The person might be one of the Wedding Dress People and that’s actually their skin. It’s ridiculous, but no more ridiculous than the possibility of magical fish-people.
E) Putting all of that together, just what is the waitress supposed to say? Despite all of the people talking about what the waitress shouldn’t have said, none have suggested things she could have said instead. It gives the impression that we would prefer that the waitress – and by obvious extension, everyone else – not say anything at all. Of course that is an option, but it sounds like a lonely option.
You are absolutely correct. Apparently, she’s just supposed to shut up, and not say anything about anything.
“Did you enjoy your meal?” Nope, she will obviously offend any who didn’t enjoy it.
“Cute freckles.” Nope. Offends the person with said freckles. Maybe their parents too.
“Wow, that dress looks nice.” Nope. It’s not a dress, but a ceremonial robe, and now she’s just disrespected their religion.
“Can I get your order?” Nope. It’s her job to take their order. She should just shut up, and wait for them to tell her what they want. No suggestions of what she might think is good. No solicitations of more beverage, whatever it might be.
She should just keep her mouth shut, and not even look at them. Wouldn’t want to be accused of staring, now would we?