Holiday Honesty
(Speaking of holidays, I saw Trans-Siberian Orchestra perform this afternoon, it was AMAZEBALLS.)
Clearly she's smarter than everyone else, who is clearly stupid.
Holiday Honesty
(Speaking of holidays, I saw Trans-Siberian Orchestra perform this afternoon, it was AMAZEBALLS.)
Love when secrets don’t take time to percolate. Having everything out in the open fast and seeing people scramble to deal with it can be hilarious.
Amanda’s hair is six colours, Todd’s hair is one colour. Therefore Amanda is smarter.
Since Selkie’s hair is also six colors, does that mean she’s as smart as Amanda?
If you don’t know she’s as smart as Amanda, you must not have been following this comic for long. Maybe it’s not such a good idea to try to have those two get along…
I have twin grandsons, now in high school. At least since they learned to walk and talk, they’ve been alternately trying to kill each other and conspiring together against the adults. If they were as smart as these girls, we’d be in trouble.
It was a joke. Obviously the number of colors in a persons hair, doesn’t determine intelligence.
Uh, Amanda… Todd is the one who was being LIED TO. How could he possibly NOT know about it?
(And you call yourself smart.)
Amanda may know that on some level, but she was mostly focused on the result of the lie on herself, not on Todd. Since she’s 8, and had only interacted with Todd once before finding out that he’s her biological father, that seems perfectly reasonable. Since then, he hasn’t treated her like a daughter the way he has with Selkie. In response, she’s still a bit stiff and wary of him, and worried by the tension between him and Andie.
Seriously, her Uncle Antoine, who she’d never met before today, has spent more time interacting with her, and especially giving positive physical affection, than she has had from Todd and her grandparents combined (at least on-screen) in the entire comic. Todd really connected with Selkie right away, interacted on her level, gave her hugs, and was affectionate. He doesn’t do that with Amanda at all. Yes, they are new to each other, but that isn’t the reason, he was more cuddly and caring with Selkie the first day of the adoption than he is now, after months, with Amanda.
Yes, part of that is the tension between him and Andie, the unresolved feelings, mourning the child he thought was lost, being angry at the lies, and her bullying Selkie. It is reasonable that Selkie is his favorite, and the one he treats as truly his daughter. Amanda is perfectly justified in feeling he only spends time with her out of obligation, not because he wants to, much less because he loves her.
Yes, Andie isn’t perfect as a mom, she tries to solve things by throwing money at them, etc. However, she is obviously caring and affectionate toward Amanda. She hadn’t been reaching out to Selkie to make a connection, but I don’t blame her the way I do Todd, since Selkie isn’t her daughter. She’s done more positive stuff to connect with Selkie than Todd has with Amanda, for that matter. The hair dying thing, talking to Selkie about Amanda’s bullying, probably more examples I can’t recall offhand.
Todd is the protagonist, so most people view him sympathetically, but he seriously isn’t doing right by Amanda, and is probably making her issues worse.
I have to question this assumption, that Todd should have been more actively affectionate toward Amanda by now. I think that very much depends on how AMANDA responds to attempts Todd makes.
I’d have to go back through the archive to their first meetings, but… it’s my impression, in considering this, that she’s been wary of him, and you don’t approach a wary animal too quickly or too energetically. Remember even how Selkie responded when Todd first laughed at her — and how Todd had to carefully reconstruct the scenario to get her on his side. Amanda has MORE reason to be especially wary of Todd than Selkie had to be generally wary of adoption prospects or adults in general.
I’m an introvert (or possibly ambivert). If you treat me like an extravert when we first meet, it kinda scares me off. Give me time to warm up to you, and let me go at my own pace, and we’re fine.
I’d go more into this point, but I’ve gotta go.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie671/
Amanda is outside Miss Afkhami’s office when Todd and Selkie show up. Amanda gets excited, thinking he’s there to see her. She is open and looks really surprised and happy. He has his hands in his pockets and looks upset. When she asks him if he’s really her dad, he ignores her and goes inside, instead of asking Miss Afkhami to wait for a few minutes while he reassures Amanda or at least answers her question.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie677/
When he tells her about her grandparents he softens a bit, and he says he’s excited to get to know her, but he still looks really stiff and uncomfortable, doesn’t try to hug her, etc. She looks a little wary, but not extremely so.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie683/
When she first visits Todd’s home, he greets her at the door with a scowl. Sure, it’s intended for Andie, not for Amanda, but he doesn’t seem the slightest bit enthusiastic about getting to know Amanda, just uncomfortable, awkward, and angry. Amanda looks a little nervous, but hopeful.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie685/
He does try to reach out and interact with her, but not in a dad-like way, more like a distant relative who doesn’t like children trying to be polite. He’s really cold and distant, and it’s a stark contrast to how his brothers interact with her the first time they meet her. Amanda is obviously awkward and uncomfortable here, but he is doing nothing whatsoever to set her at ease.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie690/
Andie and Selkie interacting very positively, Andie showing off her tattoos and talking with Selkie like an actual person, in a friendly way. Contrast Andie’s body language here toward Selkie with Todd’s toward Amanda.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie710/
Todd is yelling at Andie and looking very physically intimidating, and Amanda has to step in to stop him and protect Andie. She is full of righteous fury and pain.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie710/
He looks apologetic and shaken at Amanda’s anger, but doesn’t do anything to try to calm or reassure her. He doesn’t say or do anything to respond to her.
I have the impression this is a couple of months later, and Amanda has actively tried to reach out to him (like getting his feedback about the earrings). He’s still stiff, awkward, and uncomfortable around Amanda. She’s not initiating hugs and stuff, but considering her background, that’s not surprising. In her interactions with Richard, Antoine, and what we have seen of her before Andie came to get her, she has lots of issues, but being shy isn’t one of them. She blossoms with attention, and is starving for affection.
Thanks for the links, and your analyses of them.
I still don’t think it’s quite fair to compare Todd’s interaction with Selkie to Todd’s interaction with Amanda. Or, in fact, to compare Todd’s interaction with Amanda to Andi’s interaction with Amanda or to the uncles’ interaction with Amanda. There are a few factors I’m taking into account here:
1. When Todd got Selkie, it was pretty much a clean slate. They started from where they were and went from there. Both opened up quickly and moved smoothly into a connection that made each secure in the other’s presence and loyalty. (Though clearly Selkie has been questioning that a bit, given Todd connecting with Amanda.)
By contrast, Todd’s connection to Amanda is layered with baggage, including its connection to Andi, Amanda’s time in an abusive situation (which Todd is aware of but doesn’t yet know the extent of), all the what-ifs that pile up in your brain when you could’ve known this person (and been instrumental in raising them) years ago but were prevented, and the fact that Amanda has repeatedly shown anger toward Todd and bullying toward Selkie.
I don’t see Todd’s initial interactions with Amanda to be significantly different from his initial interactions with Selkie — careful, mildly enticing, waiting for the other party to make the first move. But he’s had a lot more time to get familiar with Selkie, without additional baggage, than he has with Amanda.
2. Selkie doesn’t appear to have anger problems or attachment problems. Amanda has both. This does change how they should be approached, how quickly and how openly.
3. Andi’s had full, unobstructed time to bond with Amanda, without a second child in the mix, without worrying about the other parent’s reaction to the bonding — and she was also never under the impression that Amanda was dead.
Todd has had to balance his reaction to Amanda with how it affects his relationship with Selkie, how it affects his relationship with Andi, and how his brain is adjusting to the fact that she’s not actually dead. While I don’t think he’s doing this as well as he could be, I do cut him a lot of slack when he takes it slow.
4. The behavior of uncles/aunts is, by nature, far less cautious or strict than that of parents. That’s how you get the “crazy uncle” stereotype. They’re not the ones who have to deal with the fallout if something goes wrong, and a lot of issues of discipline and worries can fall by the wayside.
It’s also my impression that uncles do tend to be more touchy, huggy, swing-them-around-y than parents, in general, are. But that might be a stereotype.
It’s also true, in this case, that the uncles didn’t have as deep a wound as Todd from Amanda’s death, and thus don’t have as much healing or baggage to get through.
I could probably come up with some other distinctions if I took the time. But I do acknowledge that Todd isn’t the shining knight of proper behavior, and it may well be that he gets called out on this at some point. I just don’t think it’s as bad a distinction as you make it out to be. (I also think Amanda is being a bit more wary/cautious/unapproachable than you seem to think she is. Even showing off her nail polish was done in the way most shielded in case people don’t like it.)
I guess I spoke too soon about 711, since he does calm down and apologize in https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie712/ which I hadn’t opened yet at the time I posted.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie713/ and https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie714/ -finally, positive interaction! His body language still seems really off to me, though. He’s obviously still trying to calm down from the yelling. Amanda is clearly a bit wary, but more in a “are you going to yell at my Mom again? Are you going to yell at me?” way, not just because they’re just now getting to know each other. He specifically gave her very good reason to be wary. Even then, her body language is softening more than his is, from my perspective.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie716/
After Theo suggests icecream and the situation calms down, Amanda sits on the floor in front of him, cuddling up to his knees happily. She’s not wary of affection here in the slightest.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie737/
Todd stands up to Mr. Fairweather for Amanda, and publicly claims her as his daughter, but after she had already stormed off (to go get the “grape juice.”)
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie760/
Todd calls getting icecream a family activity. Amanda looks happy, but she’s buzzed from the booze. Even there, Todd is hugging Selkie and not really interacting directly with Amanda.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie761/
In the December 5th panel, he finally gives her a hug for the first time, with Selkie seething in the background. Amanda looks *very* happy, proud, and relaxed.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie806/
She asks Andie to let her go see Todd so she can show off her fingernails. She looks really excited. Andie then tells her to behave around Selkie, and Amanda arrives mad.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie810/
She shows off her fingernail polish, that she’d been so excited to show Todd. I misremembered, he did compliment her on them. His body language is more open, but he doesn’t give her a hug, or take her hand to look at the fingernails more closely or anything. He and she both look happy, but they still don’t look like they’re interacting as well as Amanda does with Richard or Antoine.
Todd doesn’t talk with Amanda or touch her at the Christmas festivities from what I recall, but I haven’t had a chance to check yet.
Amanda hit Andi when she tried to hug her without prompting once. She’s not a touchy person so I’m giving Todd a break on that point.
She normally is touchy and affectionate, just not when she’s actively angry.
Oops, I forgot to add, Richard also interacted more positively with Amanda than Todd ever has, and it’s her first time meeting him, as well.
Amanda and Todd are shown to have a LOT of offscreen interactions. We can’t really tell how he interacted with here there. Well enough that it upset Selkie, because he was treating Amanda like his daughter, which made Selkie jealous.
her there*
He knew he had been lied to – that doesn’t necessarily mean he knew who had originated the lie.
I’m not sure if Amanda had enough information to deduce that Todd would have known it was Andi. At any rate, it appears that she didn’t know that Todd knew that Andi had originated it… until this strip.
She knew Todd did not look for her because someone told him she’s dead, now she found out that someone was Andi. So yea she’s just being stupid/rude here.
OMG, I *love* Antoine.
You’re not the only one. But hey, given all the varied sibling issues, you’d expect no less from a little brother.
Hey Amanda: How about more tact, less “tactical” next time; eh? (But, so help me, I’m loving her more and more!)
So that’s how Antoine is acting in a sensitive situation?
Some people just show up to laugh when the pinto explodes man.
He’s a younger brother… Standard response.
In our family, if a kid gets hurt, the adults laugh at and tease them. If the teasing leads to them laughing too, it’s not that big a deal. If they can’t manage to laugh as well, then we have learned that the situation is more serious, and can then take appropriate steps to get them help and such.
The problem comes when we apply our standard response to kids raised in other cultures/sub-cultures — because kids who aren’t used to being laughed at, or who certainly aren’t used to having their pain laughed away — can respond pretty badly to this tactic.
Also, one thing to know is that kids can take their cues on “how upset should I be?” from grown-ups. So overplaying how bad something is can actually make the situation worse. So can calling up a kid’s memories in an empathic way, because when you go “Oh, that must’ve hurt” (sadface) or whatever, to a kid who’s already over it, it can bring to mind the pain and make them go through it a second time.
Things I’ve heard, anyway, and one of the reasons I think our style works fairly well.
I’ve always wanted to see them play. I have five of their cds and love listening to them in the car on my way to work.
Todd would have to know seeing she’s in fact not dead…
Of course Amanda is smarter. Daughters are always smarter than their dads…but they only think they are smarter than their moms. XD
Oooooooooh shots fired!
amanda´s logic: well duh, of course todd isn´t smart – he adopted fish-face when he could have ME!!
I actually don’t think it’s that. I think it is just her concentrating on herself, an understandable reaction here.
I do love the family dynamic here – and I’m pretty sure the fact that Antoine can keep it light-hearted (after already winning Amanda over with the airplane ride) is going to be another step towards Amanda realising that ‘get angry and hit it’ is the least fun way of dealing with shenanigans.
She’s already had the Christmas present of ‘being treated like a rational adult’, while it’s going to be a difficult one this could well be her best Christmas in her life so far.
I mean, given that the competition is ‘time in abusive family’ and ‘time in orphanage’, i think this christmas would have to go WAY south to not be the best in her life so far
I love the mirror in panel one. Just wanted to say that. It’s a nice touch!
We saw TSO last season. Quite the show. Half way back in the Target Center, and still felt the heat.
Yes Andi that’s the best response. She’s 8 and sorta knew that you were lying. Sorta. But she didn’t realize that you already told Todd. Like how was she supposed to automatically know?
You do know that kids don’t have telepathy,right?