They’re chocolate chip.
Grandma Mari knows darn well Selkie is not inclined to take a bite of any type of cake, rum-infused or otherwise. But dialogue wise it felt more "grandma-y" to me for her to express concern over both kids accidentally imbibing liquor, instead of singling one out over the other.
Good, somone is finally being frank and direct about the situation no ambiguity for Andi to take shelter in.
I wish I had some friggin’ popcorn. 🙂 Hehehehehehehe. I would feel bad but she’s brought it on herself.
That’s what happens when you emotionally manipulate those you trust,Andi. They don’t wanna be around you when the truth comes out.
Here you go… Have some Popcorn… 😀 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rthHSISkM7A
Thanks. XD
Andi is a classic sociopath. Not all of them are vindictive and cruel about it. Many aren’t even aware of it. This seems to fit Andi perfectly.
Ehhh…I dunno about that. Sociopaths don’t feel remorse. She does.
Actually, untrue. It’s estimated 1 in 20 people are sociopaths. They can feel remorse if they value others emotions and choose empathy, it’s just not pre-packaged like most people. Evolutionary, sociopaths are important because when the crap hits the fan, they were the ones able to set aside emotion and do what needed to be done. Sociopaths like got see in the movies/serial miles typically have horrific childhoods and never learn to care about others. Others grow up never knowing until seeing genetic reports or brain scans. For example, I know I am a sociopath but I also have chosen to care. I do charity work, I worked in the mental health field and child protective services. I cry if I hit an animal with my car accidentally… anyone in my life would describe me as caring, generous, and compassionate but I’m also the one my family has in their will add the one to decide to pull the plug if need be. My marine brother and two others would be crushed by the weight of that decision and would never forgive themselves. I could do it and never regret it knowing it was what they wanted. That doesn’t mean I never feel remorse, I just can shut off those emotions and let rationale take over. Andy is not a sociopath because she can’t turn off and deal, clearly, but sociopaths aren’t all necessarily monsters who don’t feel guilty.
she is not a sociopath. she caved into her mother’s demands. she is a doormat.
I do not think your definition of sociopath fits the actual definition of sociopath. Plus, five percent is INSANELY HIGH for a mental disorder like that, and I don’t buy it for a minute.
I realize the links I’m gonna find first are kinda pop-sci, but I don’t have time to look for more authoritative stuff right now (since I want to read the comments here, not run off to skim a bunch of psych sites). But the kind of things that come up aren’t anything like “A person who can choose to shut their emotions off” — that’s just a person whose rational mind wins out over their emotions. You might find more luck working from Myers-Briggs (Thinker vs. Feeler).
http://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medical/16-questions-that-doctors-use-to-figure-out-if-youre-a-sociopath/ar-AAcLTIv
https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201305/how-spot-sociopath
Sociopathy is WAY more than just being able to trump emotions with rationality.
There is definitely a difference between sociopath, psychopath, and doormat that has adapted to mimic the behaviors of a sociopath because that’s her survival mechanism. Andi, I think, may be the last.
How is Andi in any way a sociopath? She regrets her mistakes and actually does care about her daughter.
Arm chair psychologists.
Obviously, Andi’s not a sociopath for the reasons stated. But some of the actions she takes are kinda similar to one. So…
I know a number of people who were raised by a mother who had borderline. The children all have sociopathic tendencies without being true sociopaths. They learned those sociopathic tendencies from their mothers, and the less of their fathers, the worse their mothers were, they saw the higher the rate of sociopathic behavior they displayed. It wasn’t that they wanted to display those behaviors, it’s that such behavior became a way to cope with the instability of their mother. The little we’ve seen of Andi’s mother, I could very well believe the mother has borderline.
edit:
*the less of their fathers they saw, the worse their mothers were,
I think her mother is a sociopath. She told Andi to give Amanda up for adoption because she thought it would be best for everyone involved without considering their feelings and she seemed emotionally detached from Andi.
Andi didn’t want to be a Mother and hated being pregnant. Patricia realised this and suggested it because she wanted what was best for her child at the time. Which indeed was to give up the baby. Because let’s face it,they weren’t really ready. They were too young. And Patricia never told Andi to lie. Or to tell him that Amanda was dead.
Patricia was trying to help. Andi was the one who decided to lie to everyone. Including her own Mother.
What strikes me is that do we actually know if Patricia knew or not that Andi lied to the Smiths? Because, if she didn’t and she was told now, I’d like to know her reaction. That would show whether she had feelings for her fellow man or truly is on the socio-path (lol).
God I hate Andi.
Remember, she was still a child (or as good as) when her mother bullied and emotionally blackmailed her into giving up Amanda.
It’s an old, old story which is often forgotten. The person who is vulnerable getting the hate and blame for the actions they were pressured into taking.
Yeah, Andi messed up big time, but in large part it was because she was persuaded, by someone who should have been supporting her, that it was the right thing to do.
And then she hid it because she was scared that people she loved would turn her away. Scared and ashamed.
I’m glad this particular story is just fiction – but there are other versions of it which aren’t, and sometimes the guilty victims attract more blame than they deserve.
There was no bullying or blackmail. Her Mom suggested that she give up the kid because she was scared. Also her and Todd weren’t ready for Amanda. In some ways,she’s still not fully prepared.
Hm. Looking back at the earlier strips, I’m now uncertain. I did read it at the time, especially in light of later conversation (and perhaps influenced by a lot of real-world accounts of young/teenage mothers who’ve been pressured into having their babies adopted) as being at least emotional blackmail. But I agree it could be read differently.
I am at least confident that Andi’s mother suggested a quick fix solution to a frightened teenager which she should have known Andi would likely regret later, rather than reassuring her that she and Todd could cope and would be supported.
There was no bullying. Just a suggestion for her kid,who most certainly didn’t want to be a Mom,to give her up for adoption. Because she knew Andi wasn’t emotionally ready or equipped to take care of a baby.
Also. How the Heck would she know that Andi would want Amanda back after eight years of lying about Amanda? Especially when she only seemed to want her after she saw Todd had adopted. Which is way suspicious.
You assholes are just way too hard on her.
How are we too hard on her? That’s what I would like to figure out. It’s not that she gave Amanda up. It was the lie she kept up for 8 years because it was conveinent to do so that makes us so hard on her. So how are we too hard on her?
Yeah, this is the thing right here.
It’s one thing to do something wrong.
It’s another thing to not come clean about it, and let it snowball into worse and worse problems.
And it’s even worse than that to completely override the free will and informed choice of those who treat you as family. THIS is the big one.
Say that instead of adopting Amanda out, Andi had given birth to her at home, freaked out, and killed her. And then claimed to her family that it was a miscarriage.
It’s possible some of them might — MIGHT — be able to forgive her for having deliberately killed a child. But do you think she would be right to just remain part of the family without telling them what actually happened? Is it fair to them that they don’t even get to make the decision of whether or not to maintain a relationship with her — that she just plays nice so they all don’t realize what she’s done?
http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/glee/images/3/38/Orson-welles-clapping.gif/revision/latest?cb=20110705203442
Bravo Marci, bravo.
Mari, dang it, Mari
It is actually technically “Brava.” MAri is a woman, not a man.
Eh, I’m going with colloquial English usage, not accurate Italian 🙂
Haven’t read down further to see if anyone else predicted this, but I just realized what I think is gonna be in or near that silver decanter.
And it’s filled with things that aren’t the earthly remains of a little girl.
Andi really keeps walking into these smackdowns with comments like this one. If she didn’t genuinely seem that clueless I’d even call it blatant provocation, though I really do think she honestly does not get it.
Possibly? Maybe Andi is trying to punish herself? Or she’s just desperately trying to cling onto the idea of them being family?
It’s not a healthy idea but it feels like what she wants.
i think she´s just WAY deep in denial, and yeah its NOT healthy, but i feel as if given her own, shitty mom, she kinda used the smiths as a substitute family. and she´s not willing to let go of that crutch less she has to face her own dysfunctional family or her loneliness.
one keypoint of andi´s character is her lack of maturity due to complete unwillingness/inability to grow up+move on. i mean come, on, she´s wearing the same pseudo-punk hair like in high school, refuses to marry and settle down even though they´ve been together for near a decade, heck they weren´t even living together!
i think part of andi is still stuck in that time she got pregnant and made her big mistake, and as long as she´s unable to accept her guilt and deal with it she´ll be unable to move on. reclaiming amanda was only the first step.
Agreed. Andi was totally clinging to the Smiths as a substitute family and that was the moment of all shit. Because if she admitted she wasn’t sure she was ready to be a parent and didn’t want to be, then (in her eyes) Todd would leave her but keep the baby. If she admitted she gave Amanda up for adoption, Todd would leave her. Therefore, no baby. Baby doesn’t exist. Baby died. And that right there was the moment the relationship with the entire family was doomed. (Which honestly I think she knew even at the time, but if she pretends hard enough it’ll go away, right? Right?)
It’s definitely long past time someone told her, in no uncertain terms, THAT was the moment you screwed up and THAT is the moment you will NEVER be able to recover from, and every moment you had after that was a lie because you continued holding to it the WHOLE DAMN TIME even after the heat of the moment. Glad this is happening now.
Thank-you for phrasing it like this. I’ve been trying to figure out how I felt about this whole situation and you phrased it perfectly.
Thank you. This is exactly how I see Andi having been.
I don’t think she’s clueless on the situation just horribly trying to bring fond memories to lighten the mood but picking the worst setting to do it in
Abused children do respond differently than normal kids, even as adults, to stressful situations. I think it’s social ineptness over cruelty or cluelessness. That said, Mari has every right to lay into her like a hound on a prime rib. Especially considering what Amanda went through that she could have been spared.
Eight years is a long time to miss of a child’s life as well. Being lied to, keeping an urn of fake baby ashes for eight years, having someone you thought of as a daughter do this to you and the rest of your family? How could she not be livid? Props for doing it away from the girls.
Sorry to change topic slightly, but I’ve heard a few people say or imply Andi was abused and I’m not certain where that comes from. Andi’s mom did hint at deep regret having children young and “ruining her life”, but I do not see much evidence for outright abuse. Especially when Andi has expressed such positive feelings about the McClellans sticking together and supporting one another. Her mother did discourage her from claiming Amanda on a whim, thinking Andi wasn’t ready, which I thought was responsible considering Andi lives in a one bedroom apartment and knows little about kids. We also don’t know why Andi is not visiting her mom, she avoids conflict and might be avoiding her mother, or her mom might be angry and unwilling to see Andi currently. What I got from their relationship was closeness despite differences, like, Andi and her mother are very different people but they’ll usually stick together even when they disagree. Unless there’s some detail I missed.
All we’ve seen from Andi’s past is how her mom would discourage her in some creative ventures. Page 730 doesn’t have a lot of details, but Andi hated that she sounded like her mom when talking to Amanda about trying new things, i.e. letting her hair down. She didn’t want to ever suggest to Amanda that she “can’t” since her mother did that quite a bit. It was usually small things that nevertheless discouraged Andi, but one line said “Can’t color outside the lines…can’t keep my own kid…” That may be a sign of how much Andi’s mom swayed the decision to give Amanda up while her daughter was dealing with a lot of regret, fear, and indecision. Sadly, when Andi welcomed her mom to be a part of Amanda’s life, she claimed to have “said her goodbyes” the day Amanda was given up.
Yes but Andi’s mom might be just have said this because seeing Amanda would hurt. Especially when she was encouraging her teenage kid to give up Amanda because Andi wasn’t ready for a baby then. Neither was Todd. It was a nudge but she never told her to lie about Amanda’s living. Nor did she scream at her to do it or she’s never going to love her again.
She was worried for her daughter and offered it as an option. Andi didn’t have to give up Amanda.
My problem with that is that while there’s no concrete evidence Patricia was/is in fact emotionally abusive, she sure as hell isn’t emotionally SUPPORTIVE. I mean, seriously. It’s clear from her appearances in the present she had doubts about the kids raising Amanda to begin with, but she never says ‘Okay let’s all have a big family meeting because seriously are you two SURE this is the right option for you?’ and expresses those concerns about it to the Smith parents? Her daughter admits she’s absolutely terrified in labor and Patricia suggests adoption, sure, especially since she thinks Todd might well be gone, but then why wouldn’t you stay with her after she’s gone through all of this, is utterly terrified and ALREADY concerned whether she made the right choice or not, and her boyfriend may have abandoned her at the last minute during this all? Like, she never told Andi she had to do it, she never told Andi to lie, but your daughter is emotionally distraught and fresh through labor and you leave her within an hour or so? (Given Todd was in traffic at the time there’s an implied timeframe for how late he could’ve been and it was certainly still visitor hours.) That just seems… off, to me. Like if they knew Todd was coming she should have stayed to help explain “Andi was so terrified during the labor and she was scared this whole time but was afraid to tell you” and if she thought he wasn’t coming then that feels like the kind of thing you should stay and comfort your child for, especially when she JUST WENT THROUGH FRICKIN’ LABOR, and then when Todd shows up the ‘we didn’t think you’d come’ adds another layer on the helping explain things.
Even if she was in the bathroom when Todd arrived and Andi already lied, she could have stepped in and said “Andi no, it only feels like that to you, sorry Todd she’s not in a good state right now let me explain what actually happened because clearly labor took a lot out of her.” It would still be a terrible lie and a potential relationship-ender, but at least that would’ve been a gesture of support for Andi that yes she is here for you yes what you’ve been through is scary but it’s over now yes you were scared to talk this entire time so let ME talk now so it doesn’t have to be as scary while you’re recovering from giving birth.
Like the critical lie was entirely Andi’s doing but at the same time, it really says a lot to me that Patricia was nowhere to be found when Andi was that vulnerable. Or that if she was available enough to know the lie, she WENT ALONG WITH THIS because it’s better to think this whole little mess is done with and go back to normal rather than come clean and say “we panicked” as soon as possible so that the fallout’s potentially manageable.
She suggested it because Andi wasn’t ready. Neither was Todd,she suggested it because she loves her. Also. Did she really leave? Andi isn’t exactly trustworthy here.
If she had those doubts in advance, and clearly she did, she should have brought it up BEFORE Andi went into labor. She should have brought it up with the Smiths and expressed her concerns (including, as you suggest if she does in fact “know Andi better”, the fact that Andi was herself having doubts and apparently hadn’t expressed them to Todd.) That’s called providing emotional support to your child in a really emotionally tumultuous time, and communicating like a responsible adult. It’s pretty clear from the fact that Andi thought her best option was “there is no baby the baby died” that that talk never happened.
She’s not present in the flashback. She’s the one who suggested the adoption, if she was present there she should have been the one to explain to Todd because it is obvious even in that flashback Andi was clearly emotionally distraught and in no position to explain her thought process herself – if, as you posit, Patricia suggested it because she loves Andi and sensed her distress, that would be the reason she suggested the adoption in the first place. Even in the best case scenario, labor is physically exhausting and a hormonal and emotional roller coaster. If she was present, if she was at all supportive, she would have helped Andi explain this difficult thought process rather than going with the impulsive, disastrous lie because if Andi is not equipped to be a mother and has clearly had issues communicating with Todd before then THAT IS A SIGN SHE NEEDS HELP AND THAT A SUPPORTIVE PARENT SHOULD OFFER IT IN THIS TRYING TIME. (Like I said before, even if Andi did blurt it out, there were still ways Patricia could have salvaged that and made it clear to Todd, even if he didn’t want to continue the relationship after the adoption, why Andi did it and how much stress she was under and how emotionally draining labor is so it must have slipped out in a panic – because let’s be clear it was either Andi alone and trying to think how to explain things with Todd right in front of her for an awkward silence until seizing on an excuse, which would only happen if she was totally left to flounder, or a totally impulsive thing – and that their child was and would be fine.)
If Patricia was present, that means she supported the lie. The obviously the WORST POSSIBLE OPTION IN THIS OR ANY OTHER SCENARIO lie, which from the start would clearly only dig itself deeper and deeper. “Patricia knew about the lie from the start” and “Patricia is a good, supportive and not manipulative parent” are mutually exclusive statements, period.
If she knew about the lie then why would she go “he had as much time as you did to find her”? Sounds suspicious to me.
I’m not sure whether she knows or not. But that means she couldn’t have been present when Andi told Todd, and again: She just went through labor. She’s scared out of her mind. So then why wasn’t she there when Andi was that vulnerable and scared, if as you posit she did everything because she loves Andi?
She suggested giving up an infant she wasn’t ready for because she cared. Because Andi was a kid and not ready for a baby. Excuse me but you seem to wanna demonize Patricia for just suggesting to her teenage daughter,who didn’t want to be a mother at all,to go with adoption.
Like. I think that was best for her. But did you stop to think she was with a doctor? Andi was in her care so she was the legal guardian of Andi and probably talking about her or anything else. Heck maybe getting food or in the bathroom.
Patricia has no regrets or reservations about what she and Andi did, though, and I think that’s kind of telling. It takes a special kind of person to truly believe that going behind a father’s back to give his child up for adoption is the right thing to do. And it didn’t really sound like she had just offered it as an option–at the aquarium, Andi said, “Todd, I’m sorry. Ma, she…she kept pushing me to let the kid have a better life. I was…I didn’t know what to do, so I went with it.” Later, she mentions Patricia’s fire pit as having provided the ash for the urn. I don’t think she was lying; there’s a bit when Andi is talking to her mom and says, “but then you convinced me to give Amanda Marie up for adoption,” and her mom doesn’t deny it. Originally, Andi was going to keep her, even though she didn’t want to be a mom. Patricia was the one who pushed for adoption, and I’d bet dollars to doughnuts she also pushed not to tell Todd or his family about it.
She was also extremely opposed to Andi reclaiming Amanda. She offered zero support and no constructive suggestions, only pointed out all the reasons why it would be too hard (she won’t know you, what happens when she asks why, what are you going to say to her, you’ll be turning her life upside-down). And she hadn’t even met Amanda yet when Theo and Mari met her (Amanda’s reaction to Andi saying she’d be meeting Todd’s folks was, “But I haven’t even met YOUR ‘my grandparents’ yet!” Todd was like, “She hasn’t?” but that never got addressed). A lot of time has passed since then, but it’s entirely possible that Andi’s mom doesn’t want to meet Amanda at all, and that she isn’t talking to Andi. There’s no room in her life for Amanda.
None of this excuses Andi’s actions, of course. Ultimately, she was the one who said Amanda died, and she stuck to that lie, and now she’s taking responsibility, as she should. But I don’t think she’s the only one at fault in all this. Perhaps her mother means well, but you can mean well and still be a toxic, controlling person. You can care about people and still wind up punishing them emotionally for making decisions you wouldn’t make.
At the end of the day, Andi’s mom thought this was an okay decision. Andi didn’t. And while we haven’t seen direct confirmation of abuse…I wouldn’t be surprised to find out it’s part of why Andi didn’t stand up to her mom as hard as she now wishes she had.
Mostly because Patricia seems to know Andi better than us. And honestly. I think she was right. Andi is barely doing well.
Like the time she flat out fled because she saw Todd. She’s not prepared for a kid. Like she’s emotionally not mature enough.
Problem is, the option of adopting TO THE GRANDPARENTS was never even offered.
There are times when an immature couple who ends up with an unexpected baby can let the older generation raise them for part of the time. This happens when the new mommy is a teenager, or when the new mommy has to go to jail, or has to go to the hospital for a while, or for a variety of other reasons — it should certainly have been considered before just dropping the kid off at an orphanage of all places.
The major problem isn’t so much the adoption angle as the TOTAL LACK OF RESPECT FOR TODD’S PARENTAL RIGHTS and his right to informed consent over what happens to his child. THAT is the telling aspect of Andi’s character: She values her own comfort over the RIGHTS of others.
Or, more specifically, she is so averse to “rocking the boat” in any way that she will not even allow upheaval when it’s necessary to preserve the rights of another person, even one she claims to love. And that is part of why I think a person doesn’t get to be like that — THAT averse to conflict — without having been raised in an abusive household of some sort. Maybe it’s abuse from outside the household, who knows, but it’s trained behavior to do anything, absolutely ANYTHING to avoid getting in trouble.
Also Andi is a liar. She’s proven this. Blaming anyone else for her own deed is what she does. Like she said that her Mom kept pushing her. In the flashback,she doesn’t wanna be a mom. She isn’t interested in motherhood at all or is comfortable being pregnant.
Andi seems to blame anyone who can’t talk or clarify what happened. Remember her talking with Patricia about Todd? Seems a wee bit suspcious to me.
For some reason, I keep hearing Andi’s mom (Patricia) as the lady in The Addams Family (first movie) who had raised “Gordon” (Uncle Fester) and was manipulating him to destroy the Addams’. That’s Andi’s mom to me, hyped up in a criminal mode. I love that movie:)
Still, sounds like more typical, noncreative parent behavior, not outright abuse. Especially since Andi’s mom seems to accept her career now. Not wanting to see Amanda, well, she is trying to be consistent in her disapproval of Andi claiming her, being mad in front of Amanda would also be awkward, to say the least. Andi’s mom also doesn’t know about the Sandersons and has been assuming Amanda has led a decent life and that adoption now was disruptive and confusing.
I read abuse in how Andi is herself. So many of her traits – the self-doubt, the wanting to cling to happy memories of the past, wanting to run away from any conflict – are traits in people that have been badly scarred. Since it seems fairly apparent that scarring didn’t come from a prior boyfriend/husband relationship (Todd and her were together since high school) it would have most likely come from family – and we’ve only seen her mother, which has not shown any support, and glimmers herself of the abuse (the can’t page, pushing her that Todd wasn’t coming when they both had to know how excited he was) and letting Andi take wood from her wood pile to fill up the urn is something too towards that (abusors due tend to try to break stable relationships of their victims)
Yes, those are traits common in people with emotional scars, but not exclusive to people with emotional scars. Patricia is obviously a very “by the book” kind of mom, but that does not mean abusive. Her scolding Andi’s drawing was harsh and unnecessary, but no parent is perfect, they say the wrong things sometimes. Most of what we’ve seen is in Andi trying to ask Patricia to go with her to get Amanda. Patricia was kind, but firm about her position.
As for the ash, that helped maintain Andi and Todd’s relationship for another eight years, if Patricia wanted to break Andi and Todd up, she would have told him the truth before Andi could.
Actually, do we even know if Patricia was told that Andi lied to the Smiths? She may have assumed Andi told them the truth and they agreed with Patricia and she just isn’t social and doesn’t go see them for that reason (Heck, she may even be racist, but I doubt it because this comic does not seem to have a story with racism in it, which rocks serious partyhards:) ) but the point remains that we don’t know. We don’t know what Patricia was or was not told pertaining to what was told to the Smiths/Todd in particular. And she may be “by the book” but I don’t see her not wanting to connect as being “kind”. There are much nicer ways to put it, just as there are meaner ways.
The kindness I was referring to was Patricia’s welcoming attitude toward her daughter before the subject of Amanda came up. She was polite and firm about her stance, and didn’t get riled up either.
>because this comic does not seem to have a story with racism in it
Because… there’s absolutely ZERO harassment given to Selkie because SHE IS OF A DIFFERENT SPECIES.
Right. There’s no racism in this comic. IN NO WAY DOES THIS COMIC MENTION RACISM.
See that thing over there? the thing you missed? THAT’S THE POINT. GO GET IT.
Haha:) There’s a difference between racism and xenophobia:)
Still don’t see this as about race — Amanda’s comments I mean. The Sarnothi are keeping their true origin hidden I assume due to humans being afraid of another race, not outright hating them already because they are another race. But, again, to quote Agent K “Humans are dumb, panicky animals and you know it!” Indeed they are, K. Indeed they are:)
I saw emotional detachment but not abuse. I think Dave made that page about Andi thinking back to her childhood to show that her mother wasn’t very emotionally supportive. She would just state the facts without giving any encouragement or sympathy. I think that’s why Andi is desperate to cling to Todd’s family who gave her what her mother wouldn’t. Personally, I think she should learn that she can get what she’s missing or something similar from Amanda and she doesn’t need Todd’s family anymore.
I freakin’ LOVE Mari. <3
(Theo may be the more "fair" and level headed of the two, and I love him for that, but I am all too similar to Mari. Except there's no way I'd have let Andi into my house. ;P So she's already better than me. <3)
I think that the only reason Mari is not tossing her out of the house is Amanda.
In Steven Universe terms Mari is Ruby and Theo is Saphire. Well at least that’s how I see it.
Way to lay it on the table, Mari. Good job.
Andi, you done f*’d up. Big time. This is exactly the talking to she needed to realize the immensity of her screwup.
how much does anyone want to bet that the “silver decanter” is the URN that held “Amanda’s Ashes”??
That would be horribly awesome if that was true.
That has been depicted as blue in the strip. But god I would love it to just be sitting in the cupboard. Like just let this sink in good and proper.
maybe use it like a flower pot or vase – would make a nice center piece 😉
If that happened, I don’t think I could carry on reading the comic. I’d always be waiting for Andi’s suicide note.
Honestly? There are several reasons why she would not commit suicide:
1.) Amanda. She cares for her and won’t “abandon” her again (or maybe she will, given her running away at the aquarium… Sorry, Andi, you make it so hard to support you!)
2.) She thinks way too much of herself to kill herself. What I mean is that she is always thinking of Andi and centering Andi and that type of personal ego makes it, in a way, harder to contemplate suicide because she’s always focused on her needs, her survival, etc.
3.) I honestly think that if she runs aground emotionally, she’ll run back to her mother, even if it means leaving Amanda with the Smith Family for a little while for “bonding time”. I can totally see that.
Oh, my head would say all that – and knowing this comic I don’t think the author is particularly into torturing characters ‘because that’s what you have to do to be a proper writer’.
But my gut doesn’t always listen to my head 🙁
I’ll bet you the “urn” is right there with that silver decanter. Top shelves are where all the things you want to keep but not necessarily look at on a daily basis go.
Was hoping someone guessed this! I think so too.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Was it insensitive to confront you with horrific memories like that? How inhospitable of me.”
my imagination hears “EIGHT. YeArS.” in double evil voices. hehe
I do like that Mari is keeping it real here
No. Stop this scene before it goes any further. This is completely unacceptable.
Chocolate chip cookies at Christmas? Can’t we get away from ubiquitous generic cookies ONE day of the year?
The tension in the kitchen now…. Carry on! Hoping that the blue/silver decanter is the stillborn Amanda Marie in granulated form….
My Mate’s chocolate-chip cookies are so good, people ask for them in lieu of boughten Christmas Presents. For some few, choco-chip cookies are the epitome of scene setting. Just sayin’, it helps set the stage for me.
One of my favorite cookies to bake is something I call Lumberjack Cookies (the official name according to the recipe I found online is The Devil’s Cookies).
Standard back-of-the-bag chocolate chip cookie dough, but you also mix some maple syrup into the dough, use dark chocolate chips instead of milk, fry some bacon until it’s dark and crispy and stir the crumbles in, and after baking sprinkle the still-warm tops with sea salt.
That sounds AMAZING and I’m going to need to try that.
Hnnnnnng.
May I have the recipe? Or the link to it?
Who said anything about chocolate chip cookies? She said “christmas cookies.”
They could be peppermint, or white chocolate macaroons, or anything really.
Oh never mind, saw the author’s note.
I see what you mean, choc chip doesn’t exactly scream “Happy Holidays!”
It is to me:) Never cared for the hard sugar cookies. My mom used to make her chocolate chip cookies and rocky road and fudge at Christmas. I hope to make a similar-tasting threesome this year, as this is the first year I will be without them. Loves me those cookies! And her rocky road was to die for.
Let us all not forget that all this started because Andi thinks she can use Amanda to get back with Todd. As much as we want to give her any small amount of credit for trying to fix things, we still need to keep in mind that she is still very manipulative. Even if she is not aware of it, those who are raised in manipulative families can pick up the tactics as second nature.
Hopefully Amanda’s not listening in right now… She tends to notice when Andi’s pulled away like that
I wonder when Amanda will accidentally find out it’s because of her mom and Grandmother that she’d been an orphan for her first eight years.
But Andi’s mom suggested it because Andi was a kid still. Babies and teenagers rarely mix and Andi was too scared. Andi’s mom suggested it because she could tell Andi wasn’t emotionally ready. And she wasn’t. But Andi didn’t have to give her up.
And even then the *Smiths* would have taken Amanda. Even if Andi and Todd didn’t I bet Mari and Theo would have been glad to raise her (I would be surprised if they weren’t already making plans along those lines as Mari is a lot less oblivious than Todd)
I’m kinda trying to picture how that would be. It kinda seems cool. I think Amanda would be pretty well adjusted if that happened.
Not only that but, back to Patricia, does she dislike the Smiths? Dislike the fact that her daughter was going with a kind of punk? Is that why she saw only doom in their future? Did she simply not KNOW Todd’s parents? Because a blind person could see they’d love a grandchild… Even back then!
I doubt she mentioned adoption to spite anyone. Her daughter was scared and didn’t want to be a parent and wasn’t ready. So she suggested something that would help her.
Actually, I wanted to specify Patricia does not truly know them and then the query as to why she does not know them as the loving and giving people we do
Yeah, if Patricia knew them and was at all trying to help Andi when Andi was in clear distress, she would have suggested SOMETHING, probably long before the going into labor part.
It seemed like she might have. Like she’s offered it and Andi was obviously thinking about going with it. It isn’t hard to see that she thought this was best. And tbh. It probably was when Todd and Andi were kids. Cuz they were too young and inexperienced. Also Andi wasn’t emotionally in the best place for motherhood.
THEN WHY WOULD ANDI HAVE PANICKED? WHY WOULDN’T PATRICIA HAVE CALLED A FAMILY MEETING WITH THE SMITHS TO ADJUST TODD’S EXPECTATIONS, IF IT WAS CLEAR ANDI WAS SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING NO AND TODD WAS ASSUMING YES?! And we know she panicked, because this ENTIRE DAMN SITUATION wouldn’t have happened if there had been any degree of healthy communication at any point, but especially before the point where Andi was literally in labor and terrified. The relationship wasn’t actually doomed because Andi wasn’t ready to keep the baby, it was doomed because of the lie!
Andi’s actions are awful, let’s be clear here, but they’re awful in a way that looks very clearly to me like avoidance and panic rather than calculated gestures, because if she were trying to be manipulative you’d think she’d be at all COMPETENT at it, not consistently picking the worst of all possible options because it’s what she seizes on in the moment of ill-conceived “wait crap”. She consciously AVOIDS Todd after the pickup because it’s clear she hadn’t thought far enough to ‘how do I tell Todd Amanda’s actually alive’. She repeatedly makes choices that anyone could see are disastrous, that SHE sees the moment after she does them are disastrous, so I’ve gotta assume she’s not thinking far enough ahead to actually be working an angle because otherwise she wouldn’t consistently be making the worst possible life choices and making the hardest possible route for herself!
I never said that ruined their relationship. No where did I mention this. Also Todd is literally over the moon happy to be a daddy in the flashback. Andi wasn’t. She looked positively miserable before the birth. And like she regretted getting pregnant. And it seems Andi lives with her at this point. Nothing about how she was suggested ‘ooh I wanna be a mommy!!!’. Her mother only suggested it because she was concerned. Nothing in the strip suggested she was being manipulated.
You seem so insistent that Andi isn’t being manipulative. She has been. Using her own kid as a shield. Using her to get into places she is very not welcome. And quite frankly,it’s not okay.
Okay, I’m checking out here because I literally cannot take this anymore, my inability to disengage is setting me into a self-harm spiral, so fucking THANK YOU for that.
My problem is that Andi is clearly scared and miserable and doesn’t tell Todd, and that suggests to me that if Patricia was so concerned about her daughter, SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO STEP IN AND TELL TODD BECAUSE IT WAS CLEAR ANDI COULD NOT. It suggests to me that if Patricia was so concerned, they should have arranged the adoption with Todd’s knowledge, WELL IN ADVANCE OF THE GIVING BIRTH. Adoption was the right choice for Andi, I agree. But the fact that she was so miserable up until the moment of giving birth, that she was so scared going into LABOR, means she hadn’t decided until then and that shouldn’t have been left until the last minute to decide. That Patricia apparently noticed these facts and still convinced Andi to go through with it at the LAST second, rather than in advance, and then wasn’t there to tell Todd when Andi was second-guessing her decision from moment one, is where I think Patricia was not acting in a supportive manner. The lie and Andi’s fear were entirely preventable situations. As you say, Andi was a child and not equipped to deal with them alone. So the fact that these turned out in the worst possible manner suggests that the adult you claim was supporting her wasn’t doing more than the absolute bare minimum because otherwise, THIS WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED.
Because I have to go through this, literally, EVERY SINGLE TIME I dare to ID with a character who screws up in a way I ID with because what I take as signs of mistake and anxiety and neurodivergence are always evidence they’re manipulative and evil and irredeemable for being scared, I am just so TIRED of trying over and OVER again to explain the same thing five million different times because apparently, APPARENTLY I’m not explaining things enough and I am fucking DONE trying. Fine. Andi’s evil. Patricia is entirely blameless for suggesting things at the last minute and not doing ANYTHING ELSE for her frightened child. Everything Andi fucking does is fucking calculated to hurt because that’s all we can fucking do. WHAT. THE. FUCK. EVER.
Dave, feel free to ban me if I’ve stepped out of line because I cannot take it anymore, I can’t be polite, I just CAN’T. So thanks for the comic, if you need me I’ll be listening to Komm, susser Tod and hating myself because apparently that’s all I should be good for.
This is just my guess but given how Andi even now has a tendency to just avoid conflict and take things without speaking up, I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t tell anyone she does not want to be a mother pretty much until that scene with her mom right before giving birth. With how much Todd was into the idea of having a kid by the end she probably just went along with it silently and only spoke up at the very last moment when she couldn’t take it any longer and had that freakout.
Without any more flashacks this is just an assumption but I would not be surprised if none – not even her mother – knew that she isn’t 100% on board with having the kid, which is why none would have addressed it or have a big family talk before the hospital scene.
Already happened: https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie710/
The way that played out with the “the hospital said you were dead” story. I think Amanda has read that as her mom chose not to correct the error one she found out she wasn’t dead. Rather then she made a choice to get rid of her in the first place. Its a subtitle difference but to a kid like Amanda its a big one.
I think she knows that Andi gave her up because Todd says “if you kept her.” I think Amanda believes one of two things:
1) Amanda knows Andi gave her up for adoption but she also believes that Todd found out afterwards and didn’t bother to look for her. She’s mad at Todd because he eventually wanted to adopt a kid, didn’t try to find out if she was still in an orphanage, and then didn’t recognize her and adopted Selkie instead. She also thinks the story about someone telling Todd she was dead was made up to cover for him.
Or
2) She knows everything is Andi’s fault and forgives her because she came back for her. She’s mad at Todd because she’s a kid and expected him to instantly realize she is the child he thought had died. I think she would forgive Andi for telling Todd that she died and giving her up for adoption because from what we’ve seen of Amanda when she was younger, she wanted to go back with the Sandersons even if it meant being abused by her adoptive brothers.
Or you could be right. We’ll probably find out soon enough.
Destroy her, Mari.
I can’t be the only one who heard the Mortal Kombat announcer in my head, can I?
“FINISH HER.”
Nope, not alone in that thought, i heard it too.
I’m really wanting Andi to spill the beans that it was all on her own mother’s behest. “My MOM made me do it!”
Andi’s mom suggested it because Andi was still a kid who knew nothing about babies and was scared. She suggested it to help her but didn’t force her to sign any papers. Andi didn’t have to give Amanda up.
I know, right? I want Mari to find out that no, Andi’s mother swooped in at a moment when she was desperate and talked her into doing this, told her it would make everything “okay” again, and that Andi’s mistake is the product of the worst advice ever from a woman with a heart made of iron spikes. Mari has made a family where absolutely nobody can ever question feeling wanted- all of her kids are adopted, they know their parents -chose- them. Andi has grown up hearing how she ruined her mother’s life just by being born and I don’t think it could ever occur to Mari that this wasn’t fully her idea on her own. Look over at the other side of the bloody fence every so often, Mar…
No,she suggested Andi give up Amanda. Andi didn’t have to. But she did it anyway.
Literally nothing I can say to express how disgusted I am with your blatant release of her mother from any blame can actually be posted here without either starting a war or getting myself banned. Hmm.
The comic showed Andi’s mom telling her to give her up because she wasn’t ready. She was a kid and wasn’t ready to be a mother. Also we have no proof. None. That Andi’s Mom was abusive and Andi could have just said that because she was angry. Like a lot of people do.
No, no direct proof has been shown. But it is HEAVILY implied that the mom is at the least domineering. If she didn’t think her daughter could be a parent, she would have done a whole lot of ‘suggesting’, to say the least.
Neither did Andi. Nor did she want to be. Basically,she wasn’t manipulated. Nor did she show any friggin abusive behaviors. I mean she didn’t even know that Andi lied about the adoption or death. She thought Todd knew about it. Like in the links Mikael shown. Andi hates being pregnant and doesn’t wanna be a Mom. This isn’t Patricia’s fault.
Granted, as a teen, Andi would be heavily influenced by her mom, but she HAD said she wasn’t ready for kids and knew this a long time. Her mom encouraged her to give herself and Todd and Amanda a better life by not starting a family yet. Andi was likely alone with Todd to give the news cause she asked. No reason to think anything more. It was suggested that Patricia was complicit in the lie, at least because she wouldn’t tell Todd the truth (and create a rift between the two). Like many mothers, she trusted her daughter to come out with the truth eventually. Andi had to explain to Patricia that she never owned up. Patricia encouraged her teenager to think of her loved ones’ futures, not knowing what it would hold for Amanda, she encouraged Andi to exercise her right to give up the child without the father’s consent. That, and Andi’s initial lie was something that could be got over, rash actions of the moment. Andi chose to lie for 8 years, that doesn’t make her evil, but she does have to atone. Her Mom didn’t force her to keep up the lie, and Patricia telling on Andi would not help the two reconcile. Andi would never have gotten a chance to tell the truth herself.
Also I swear I posted a response before, hopefully I don end up repeating myself
Realized I addressed Patricia not being there when Andi talked to Todd as a response to what someone else said. Please ignore.
Meanwhile I forgot to mention we only got one HINT that Andi was a surprise pregnancy that may have disrupted Patricia’s life. Don’t forget that women face a LOT of pressure to become mothers and some find out too late that they didn’t want to be moms, even if they adore their kids. So Patricia may have resented whoever forced her to be a mom, but we have no reason to think she took it out on Andi. Andi apparently knows she was in some way unplanned (either she figured it out or was told), but she used that to hurt Patricia, not the other way around.
Linked this on the last page, in case someone missed it: https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie193/
Again, to me it does not look like her mother is making Andi do anything, it starts by Andi herself saying she does not want to be a mother – she didn’t want to keep her to begin with, and her only concern was about Todd’s reaction.
Well, part of it is a manufacturer conflict — because there’s no way you can decide to give up a kid and give up the kid that very same hour, I don’t believe that for a minute. Adoption takes more time than arranging for a delivery of a bouquet of flowers.
But that aside… what I see is two women with zero regard for what Todd might actually want to know about what’s going on.
One of them doesn’t seem to consider Todd a factor at all. He’s not present, so clearly he doesn’t care and there’s no reason to consider other possibilities. He doesn’t need to sign away his rights, just give the baby up. Etc. etc. (What DID Andi put in the blank for “father,” anyway?)
The second is hyper-concerned about what Todd thinks — but in the wrong way. Too concerned about his feelings, she refuses to tell him her own; carries out an entire pregnancy she doesn’t want to go through, including the delivery; lies about fate of the kid; carries on that lie and the “happy family” feeling for close to eight years; and has as little conception of the breakup as Wayne’s girlfriend in Wayne’s World (“that’s what broken up MEANS”).
Scary Thought of the Night: Lying about the fate of your child in order to manipulate the emotions of those around you and get attention and care from people who wouldn’t do that if they knew reality… that’s Munchhausen’s Syndrome.
*manufactured
Whether Andi was abused or not by anyone’s diagnosis or opinion, the matter still stands that she doesn’t get it and no one is telling her. This cycle will continue likely until she is ousted from many social get-togethers or she realizes, “Hey, latching onto them without explaining my own past is kind of a shmuck thing to do and I’ve been doing it for years, coupled with my inability to cope with, um… yeah… ANYTHING negative.” or someone will have to tell her this. Not sure I see any other way to give Andi a better future. Maybe Dave has something else planned? I do know that I see the flaws in the characters and they’re very hurt right now, still, as they should be, and won’t be able to see it. Perhaps Todd’s dad… Only time will tell?
Not trying to start any intense debates, here. But it feels to me like Todd and his folks have been very hypocritical.
Early on, they gave him a talk about how he can’t just let something fester/ignore it, yet they’ve been giving Andi crap for months about an incredibly stupid mistake she made when she was in, what, her late teens, early twenties?
Being hurt is one thing; being hateful and utterly unforgiving, especially in light of their previous comments about dealing with problems, strikes me as far beyond any reasonable behavior. And while I realize people don’t always behave reasonably, I really hope that this gets driven home to all of them at some point.
Yeah no. It was eight years of lying about a loved one. Eight years of Amanda being in an orphanage. Eight years if pretending that she did nothing wrong and having tree ashes as a fake dead body. And they only found out that Amanda wasn’t dead and the body was fake. Before they just thought it was a normal break up and Andi deserved another chance.
Andi deserves this because she wounded them. Not hurt. Wounded. It was incredibly cruel of her and she doesn’t deserve to be there. Especially when she manipulated her way in.
I feel the way they’re treating her doesn’t seem to fit in with their previous characterizations, which seems to either by hypocrisy, or a change in character.
I will agree that she manipulated her invitation, though I was under the impression that Todd asked if she could come after she whined about it (that was what I got out of his comments, in any case, it’s possible I’m reading them in a different way that they were intended when written).
While I agree that Mari is being a tad over the top and venomous with this (actually, this particular verbal spat was brought on solely by Andi’s lack of tact and I don’t think Mari was wrong in anything she’s said this time.) I don’t think it’s the same thing. This is a big deal, it’s not something you can easily forget. Yes, in time I do hope they manage to overcome it, but the wound is still fresh and raw. If, down the road they’re STILL giving Andi crap for her horrible mistake, I’d be inclined to say they really need to stop letting it linger, but right now? The anger makes sense. I don’t think she should be so passive aggressive about it, but when Andi says something so tactless and unintentionally cruel, then it’s not weird for Mari to say what’s on her mind. Especially when it’s like this and she’s not being passively spiteful. She’s kinda on point in her words right now.
I don’t think it IS something easily forgiven… but as I said in a previous comment, it feels wildly out of character, and thus, feels either hypocritical or remarkably over the top (as you said).
Also, I got the impression that it had been more than just a couple months, though perhaps I misunderstood the time compression.
Hypocritical? They aren’t letting the issue fester or ignoring it – bringing it up is the opposite of that. Letting something fester means to repress/ignore it without addressing it. This here is addressing.
And yes, they are very hurt. And no, they are not at all obligated to forgive. You don’t have to forgive somebody to be reasonable. Sometimes it’s more reasonable not to.
BBullock, did you read any of my comments that compared this situation to other similar abuses? The comparisons run like this:
1. “Look, Todd, I realize that Andi lied about you and got you sent to prison for eight years before you were exonerated, and because of that you never got a chance to know your own daughter in all that time. But don’t you think you’re being a little harsh on her? I mean, she did come clean eventually, and she’s apologized, and it’s Christmas; can’t you just forgive her and move on?”
2. “Well, Mari, let’s see. Eight years ago, your son attacked Andi and got sent to prison. These past eight years you’ve been doing your best to support Andi’s emotional needs, even paying her rent and buying her clothes, and having her over for the holidays while you were missing your own son, because equally she was missing her boyfriend. But now it turns out she lied about Todd — he didn’t attack her, she attacked him! — and that lie sent him to prison. At any time she could’ve recanted and gotten him out of prison, but instead, you’ve spent the last eight years harboring the woman who sent your boy to prison, in your own home, and paying her expenses, and buying in to all her stories about how horrible it was to live with your son’s abuse — she poisoned the memory of your boy!
“But the thing is, you learned about that a few weeks ago. That was like mid-October, and here it is Christmas. Can’t you let bygones be bygones? Show a little Christmas spirit! Can’t we just get together over a nice meal and have Todd and Andi both here, and just be happy we’re together as a family again?”
3. “Look, Lisa, I know Uncle Andy abused you for eight years. But a month and a half ago he said he was sorry and would never do it again. Can’t you just wear a smile for ONE night this year, just sit with us and him at the dinner table and let us all have a nice happy Christmas dinner together? Is it REALLY so hard to get over this?”
You know the really sad thing? This is EXACTLY the kind of attitude being leveled at ACTUAL abuse victims, right now, in this very country. Women (and men) being told to just pretend everything is okay, to ignore their feelings about the abuse and just move on, to not rock the boat, to stop trying to make people pay attention to and deal with the abuse. Heaven forbid they might want to see the abuser ostracized from the group — you only ostracize people who’ve done something REALLY bad, like murder, and here Uncle John “only” raped you, or “only” masturbated in front of you when you were six… Buddy “only” beat you up a couple times, or “only” abused you emotionally (which doesn’t count because he never laid a hand on you, right?)… Lily “only” lied to all your family and friends and pretended you were cheating on her and never actually came clean about it so most of them still think you’re a cheat.
Is it so hard for you to imagine a situation where it might take you more than a couple months to get over such a betrayal — if you got over it at all?
I do not feel that comparing the situation to physical abuse is accurate; that and her lie strike me as two very different things. Also, it feels as though you’re personally attacking me for my comment on their behavior, though in a roundabout way. If that’s not deliberate, then I apologize, though that’s how it appears to me given the way that your comments are written. However, you effectively compared my comment on what seemed like out-of-character, hypocritical behavior, to people claiming that abuse should be ignored. I neither said that, implied it, or believe it, so the comparison is a foolish one.
I’m not going to attempt to argue you, or anyone else, around here. I stated my opinion on the behavior of a comic strip character (realizing how pathetic it makes me feel to care about the behavior of a fictional character, of a sudden), and I don’t expect anyone to necessarily share it.
Now, feel free to disagree with me, and to believe as you wish regarding the situation… but please don’t claim that my comments are “EXACTLY” the same as your examples, because they aren’t. You obviously have very strong feelings on the subject, though, and I don’t imagine we are going to sway each other in any way.
And in response to your (probably rhetorical) question, no, it isn’t “so hard for [me] to imagine a situation where it might take you more than a couple months to get over such a betrayal — if [I] got over it at all?”
I’ve been dealing with that situation for years; however, I don’t waste my time and energizing endlessly castigating the person responsible for it. So take that as you will.
Also, your free to reply to this, if you want, but I only saw it by chance, the first time (as I don’t get notification of replies) and I’m unlikely to see anything else, so you’ll probably be speaking into the wind, at that point.
Their certainly living up to their name,eh?
…..yeah that joke wasn’t too funny. I’m sorry.
Oh Andi that was the worst possible thing you could have said. Common girl, have a little sense.
Admittedly, when nervous I’ve gotten a sudden case of athelete’s foot in my mouth more than a few times. She doesn’t do well under pressure and Mari is really turning up the pressure right now. Andi is trying to defuse the situation and because she’s scared and nervous, feeling like she’s getting cornered she’s going to say something incredibly stupid.
or the truth… or at least her version of it, from what EXACTLY happened at the hospital that day…
Pretty sure Andi knew it was going to be like this and yet she’s doing it anyway. Well, no one ever said absolution would be easy, much less quick. The only thing for Andi to do is be the best parent she can be; she at least started on that path by reclaiming Amanda. It’s going to be years before the Todd and the rest of the family forgive her, (and I’m pretty sure they will, eventually), so she’ll have to deal with it. I at least hope she’ll seek out some help on being a parent; maybe some other single parents in her neighborhood she can get advice from.
Oh, she certainly needs to walk the path a while before we’ll see if it’s possible to mend any of these bridges.
The problem is, she is doing THE WORST POSSIBLE THING by forcing herself on the family before they’ve had time to think over and emotionally deal with all this revelation means.
Andi is making decisions for the group, when she has the LEAST right to force her decisions on anyone else. Or to force her presence on anyone else.
You don’t talk your way into a family gathering when you’re a neutral person with no bad blood — you might mention it, or request it, but you don’t force your way in and you don’t emotionally blackmail your way in. And Andi is FAR less worthy than a random neutral party.
I think she believes that she made the request for Amanda’s sake. That’s just one more indication of how naive and deluded she is, and how much she needs to wake the hell up before this wound has any chance of being healed.
It’s the equivalent of, say, admitting you stole your neighbor’s dog and took it to Hawaii for eight years, and then, upon coming clean and returning the dog, insisting that the dog will be lonely if you don’t tag along to the park the first time its actual owner takes it out for a walk. And then clinging to their arm as they do so. Just… no. No. Absolutely, unquestionably inappropriate and, in my eyes, honestly horrific.
Long time lurker and reader here…Look, I’ve watched this strip like a hawk and read many of the comments, and all I keep thinking about is how most of this ugly situation came about because Andi’s mother manipulated her daughter into giving up Amanda and then refused to back her when she adopted her daughter back. So ultimately it’s Andi’s mother that’s at the heart of this mess. Why doesn’t she speak up about that?
She only suggested it. She never said that Andi had to. Just that she was too young to be a Mom and way too scared. Which Andi was. She was a kid who just had a kid and that’s hard. Todd wasn’t even really ready for a kid himself. Also it seems like Andi’s Mom couldn’t face Amanda because she might have felt guilty for suggesting that Andi give her up. Or she’s not ready to become emotionally attached to her.
Cause her mom only encouraged her to do what (she thought) would give them all a better future. It is VERY hard to raise a child, let alone as a teenager without an established career. Andi’s mom also was responding to Andi’s lack of desire to be a mom yet (the flashback shows Andi bring up her misgivings before her mom suggests she give up the baby). Also, as far as I can tell, Andi may have come up with the lie herself when she couldn’t break the news to Todd that she didn’t want a kid yet, her mother just allowed it and then apparently forgot.
Andi did not want the kid, ever, from the very start. She just went along with it because of Todd. She didn’t need to be manipulated or forced, rather Patricia convinced her to do what she wanted to do all along rather than what Todd wants. And not keeping the kid if she did not want to be a other was the right thing to do.
Doing it behind Todd’s back and lying about it is the problem, that is unforgivable, but we saw Patricia wasn’t even aware of the lying part…
Andi was VERY young though. It takes two to make a baby, and it takes two to talk about it. I agree that it seems like Andi’s Mom spearheaded the whole “solution”.
I’m hesitant to paint Andi as a monster (not saying you are; others have). She’s still young (in her twenties), and still figuring everything out. While I get that Mari is POed because she wanted to meet her grandchild, I feel like her reaction would make more sense if it collapsed into hurt (“I was like a mother to you, and you couldn’t even tell me” type dialogue). It just feels too angry to me, even given the situation. ESPECIALLY since it’s Christmas (goodwill to others and all that).
Personally, I feel a great deal of sympathy for both Andi and Mari. Andi was vulnerable and scared, and screwed up, then hid it because she was ashamed. Mari is deeply, deeply hurt by the deception and is lashing out.
Of course, you can feel sympathy for someone without condoning their actions.
Linking those comics as well I think this is relevant, as I honestly think people here are remembering things differently, too. 😀
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie587/ https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie588/
You should link the comic afterwards too. It seems as if she was either aware or wasn’t at all shocked even in the slightest to fins out Todd never knew. And, Andi said what ‘we’ did. Implying her and her mother and her mother follows up with what ‘they’ did was for the best.
Her mom was part of it. I’m pretty sure she was also part of the lie. I mean, Andi couldn’t have come up with tree ashes for a body all by herself.
Thanks Mikael!This is exactly what I was talking about!
Mercy, I go off to clean up a fire ant fiasco in my kids’ room and BOOM! Comments! LOL
She doesn’t know that Andi told Todd that she was dead. She didn’t even tell her to lie. Oh my gosh. I forgot this….?
Andi best keep a stiff upper lip and take the p*ss, because well yeah this is the result of an eight year deception of such douchebaggery. She has to deal with them potentially NEVER forgiving her for thinking Amanda was dead all along. It doesn’t help that Andi’s got mixed signals going on, for her her priorities lie; ultimately she DOES want to make it up to Amanda and be a Mother to her. Yet her lack of maturity still shoots her in the foot. One can hope she overcomes. On the same token, the Smith’s need to make sure while they have EVERY-DAMN-RIGHT to be angry at Andi; they need to mind how much they throw at her and when. Time and place; so far Mari is showing she’s still awesome Mom/Grandma with wisdom to go with her age.
you’re writing ruthless psychopaths, man.
I love the red-hot-anger word bubbles.
Also holy crap Andi, stop being a doormat. Talk! She needs to freaking speak up. Explain her side. Maybe she thinks no one will listen or care and maybe she’s right, but damn woman talk! She needs to stop just clamming up like this and hiding. Tell them what happened. They have a right to know the whole thing, not just a part of it. I’m pretty sure if it came to light her mother manipulated her into this whole thing they’d be a lot more forgiving about this. I don’t think Todd would, but I know Mari and Theo would understand her a lot more. They’d still be upset for the 8 year lie, but I doubt they’d think she’s some horrible monster.
Ugggggh lots of things get solved by talking… I wish she’d stop being a coward or so self punishing.
Agreed, so very much. I know avoidance looks like an attractive coping device Andi but please dear sweet eel spirits TALK TO THEM. (I agree that I don’t think they’ll ever get down to full forgiveness – ship sailed on that one a loooong time ago, especially since Amanda got so screwed up in the process – but if they figure out the warning signs we have and the fact that she is completely on her own now I think they’ll at least get WHY she’s so desperate to cling to all this and could probably manage civility with her at least.)
Indeed. I’ve come down on Andi more than most, I admit a certain bias against her but even I think she needs to talk to Mari. If anything, to reduce her stress levels. She’s bottling in this information and her frustration is growing. This is not a good thing. They say the truth shall set us free. Well folks, Andi will never be free until she tells Mari or Theo her side. And we may not even know the full truth.
I think that’s what is going to happen in the next page. Just look at how this one ended, it is a setup for Andi to say something important.
I hope so! I just want Andi to speak instead of standing there and taking it. Time and time again she’s stood there and let it be dished out to her in practical silence. It’s not even that she doesn’t need to hear some of the things being said to her, but she cannot take a step in the right direction until she learns to speak up for herself and stop avoiding confrontation.
She suggested that she give her up. Andi decided to lie about her being dead. Patricia didn’t even know that she lied. About the adoption and death. Like no. This isn’t her fault. Why does everyone believe she encouraged the lie?
*mostly everyone
Well, when Andi told her about how her mother was remembering things wrong, she seemed completely unmoved by Andi telling her she lied to Todd for 8 years. Not even a fleeting look of mild shock. Either she’s that uncaring or she knew. Also, I don’t feel like Andi could come up with tree ashes as a fake body on her own. I think possibly after she convinced Andi to give up Amanda, Andi probably said, “She’s dead.” in a moment of panic and weakness and told her mother about it and her mother came up with a more elaborate lie to make it seem more real and then simply chose to ‘forget’ that Todd never knew.
Desperation does stuff. But I don’t trust or believe Andi. But then again,she only seemed to want Amanda after she saw Todd. Not before,after.
Like Patricia suggested this because Andi didn’t want to be a Mom. She didn’t like being pregnant. Patricia suggested this to help her because Andi wasn’t emotionally ready. Technically neither was Todd.
I just find it very odd that if she didn’t know about the lie, that she’d have zero reaction to being told about it.
I dunno when Andi told her mom she didn’t want a kid. Like if it had been early on in the pregnancy, it would’ve made more sense for her to suggest abortion or adoption much earlier on and to bring it up to Todd. Maybe she didn’t tell her til she was having contractions, I dunno. It seems like her mom regretted having Andi so young or possibly had given up or aborted a child beforehand.
And yeah, I think seeing Todd was definitely what sparked her to find Amanda. But I don’t think Todd is the reason why she has Amanda now. I think she truly wants Amanda. Maybe because she’s lonely, maybe because she’s sorry and wants to repair that, maybe because she truly loves Amanda. Whatever the reason, I think she cares for Amanda and wants her to be happy now, regardless of how she feels about Todd.
Yes cuz a giant belly is early in the pregnancy. Dude. She was about to pop. And throughout her own flashback,she looks miserable. Very miserable.
But for crying out loud. She wasn’t ready to be a mom in her teenage years. She barely is now. And quite frankly. Andi has invaded Todd’s personal space and asked if they could be back together. Right after she came clean. Like. This is manipulative. This is gross. She doesn’t deserve to be there. It feels so utterly wrong.
If I was Andi, I’d just take Amanda and walk out the door at that point. Does idiot grandma not realize Todd isn’t the legal guardian?
That would be an extremely selfish move on Andi’s part. It doesn’t matter that Todd isn’t the legal gaurdian. Amanda is spending time with Todd and his family becuase Amanda deserves to know her father’s family. Are you really suggesting that be destroyed becuase Andi can’t handle the consequences of deeply hurting these people?
That’s just kind of prove she’s only doing this for herself rather than Amanda though, and would be an invitation to take this to court.
Aaaaand then Todd goes legal and sues for custody, and given Andi’s background, her horrific and documented history of parental alienation (afterall, lying about whether his daughter was dead so he’d never even look for her is the ultimate form of PA) and in some states, the fact she currently has to sleep on the couch because her living space isn’t big enough for both her and her daughter, Todd would definitely be awarded at least equal custody. In some states, they’d take one look at that hot mess and award him primary custody.
Just because he isn’t the legal guardian now doesn’t mean he can’t become one, and very easily too given the history in question, and for Andi to try and hold the fact that she currently has a legal advantage (that is in no way permanent and can be easily reversed) over his head just because people are not being sweetness and light to her after she lied to them in the most horrific way imaginable and then manipulated her way into a family occasion where she is not family and is not wanted would be stupid and short sighted, even before you consider what such actions would reveal about whether her care and concern for Amanda was genuine.
In short: I suspect that is the one single course of action that would immediately unite all commenters into agreeing that, yes, Andi really is the monster a lot of people are making her out to be.
Andi wants to get back with Todd, walking out in an angry huff would in her eyes destroy that. I mean we know it aint happening but she doesn’t seem to understand that. If she wants to atone, she also has to deal with it. There is no scenario where if she walks out she wins. There is no end game that benefits her if she does that. She is actually in the weakest position in the house.
I am having a hard time even wrapping my head around the mindset that had you make this comment, Dirk.
“Hey, I’m gonna come over to your family’s house for Christmas, invading your private family space and one of the most precious celebrations of the year, and rubbing your faces in the reality of my betrayal, making all of you feel about as bad as it is possible to feel. I am willing to do this thing because (in the most charitable reading of the data) I believe my daughter will have a happier Christmas if I do this.
“BUT, if you guys happen to get the least bit UPSET at me unilaterally deciding that This Is How Things Go, I shall totally forget about Amanda having a nice Christmas, and drag her out the door with me, because how dare you slight me like that.”
If Andi actually acted like that, it would undo any goodwill the community has built up toward her. What the hell, man?
You know I’ve thought about it and Andi’s trying to push too much, too hard, and too soon for this work out. At this rate it’s all going to blow up in her face.
She hurt people that cared about her in a big way. Sure, her mom is a guilty party in this, but Andi isn’t innocent either. She lied for YEARS, and if she hadn’t made a desperate decision (Desperate decisions don’t work out too well in my experience), who’s knows if she would have ever come clean.
She needs to grow up, take her lumps, and give this whole thing time. Focus on Amanda and try to work on making it up to Todd and his family, but respecting their wants and wishes.
But that doesn’t make for a entertaining comic, does it?
DRAMA AWAY
Oh, yes indeed!
This is the thing: Hurt feelings don’t heal overnight, and in the cases of MAJOR BETRAYAL and years-long unconscionable conduct, they certainly don’t just blow over in the space of a few weeks or a couple months.
A person with a brain in her head, who had the capability to understanding and appreciating the rights and desires of others, who could accept that she did wrong and would have to bear the brunt of some unpleasantness for a while while trying to make up for it, that kind of person would back off and let the HURT PARTIES make the first move.
It is only the manipulator, the abuser, the emotionally unhinged self-focused ass who can’t give the situation time and space, who can’t let her victims come to terms with the revelation and how it changes relationship protocols — in their own time and in their own way. The manipulator tries to push in and massage everything back to “normalcy” because she has no capacity to envision this in any end game other than “what once we had.” It’s delusional.
And she’s not going to get better so long as people keep letting her get away with those delusions.
Oh, my, Dave.
Did you think you would rouse such passions when you started this story?
It is fascinating to watch the community that has grown up around this sarnothi girl and the family that has chosen/been chosen by her?