(Wouldn’t that count as a continuation of the initial fib, though? For comparison: if you ask a child something ten times and they stick to their story before you find out (or reveal that you know) the truth, is it twice as bad as if you only asked five times? It’s only a single deception, with a single starting and single ending point.)
It’s worse than if they just come clean, isn’t it? If you ask once and they lie, then you ask again and they come clean, that is better than if you ask once and they lie, you ask again and they lie again. I don’t think the onus is on you, the person trying to ascertain the truth.
Nicely done, Todd. Calling her on the bad behavior. Good to see he has the Dads Eye of Doom glare down, and she’s a good enough kid to admit she was wrong. Not that it should get her out of trouble; she got over excited but she tried the lying thing, and that’s no good.
Selkie lied and spied on someone and tried to lie to get out of it. Amanda was insulted heavily in front of her peers as if she wasn’t there, by an adult no less and ran off in anger and shame and accidentally consumed alcohol.
“Accidentally” consumed multiple cups of alcohol after being told not to? And being called out for what she did, physically assaulting her “friend” is not being insulted. Not to mention all the other sh*t she’s gotten away with or the adults have ignored, like years of tormenting Selkie. You’re right, they aren’t remotely comparable.
The difference, I believe, is in the previous behavior. People who behave good are held to higher standards because they have already shown they know how to act civilly.
On the other hand, those who misbehave regularly are given some leniency in an attempt to correct their behavior, especially if it is discovered the why of such behavior.
Some months ago I mentioned that I had started my YouTube channel, and also that this community means a lot to me and that I wanted to share that moment with you guys.
This is another thing I’d like to share (but I waited a few days on account of not wanting it buried under a giant page of chatter about exciting plot developments). I’ve finally put together a video about my Tiny Box Tim Day project, and the video is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JD7Pj1mpkk4
The video explains what’s going on, but basically I’ve invented a holiday for helping others, celebrated by donating time, money, and creativity to charity, and by giving thanks to the people who’ve made a difference in your life. The actual celebration is June 28th (which is Markiplier’s birthday), hence the name of my video.
I’m gonna go a bit early and point out that you, Dave, have thrice made a difference in my life:
1. You made this excellent webcomic, starting from admittedly poor art (as many webcomics do), which reminds me over and over that I don’t need to have awesome skills to start putting my work out to the public. (Now if I could get the perfectionist part of my brain to listen to that lesson.)
2. You chose my strip for the Christmas update, which may not have meant a lot to you (it was one of a few possible choices, it fit the theme, all that), but to me it cut through a lot of the way my brain is always telling me how flawed my work is. It reminded me that my work can be good enough for others to enjoy.
…actually, that’s really a three-parter: Pushing me to actually make a comic page for reals, accepting it even though it was late, and then choosing it for Christmas. All three mean a lot to me.
3. And you were gracious enough to drop by my YouTube channel to watch my first official video and even comment — I didn’t expect that! When I’m struggling to get my content together (as I’m learning new software techniques as I go, among other difficulties), that encouragement comes to mind and pushes me to not give up.
So I wanted to express to you my gratitude, as part of my celebration of Tiny Box Tim Day. I really do appreciate what you’ve done for me 🙂
I’m very touched by this, I didn’t have any idea that I’d had this sort of an impact. Thank you for sharing this. I love the idea behind Tiny Box Tim Day, I really hope it takes off!
This feels over the top. Like dude. You’ve been giving her bare minimum attention lately and putting her bully first. Of course she’s going to be acting this way.
Yeah, asking why she lied would be a lot better than just saying “You’re in big trouble”. But it’s also been pretty obvious that Selkie’s being forgotten lately and this underscores it.
There’s a way to bring all this together: the “big trouble” might finally show Amanda’s meanness to Selkie in front of Todd.
Something like Amanda learning that Selkie’s in trouble and getting excited, crowing that if Selkie’s in trouble it means she’ll get sent back to the orphanage because that’s what happens to bad kids, adding in some fish insults for good measure. If Amanda forgets her “pigtails and ponies” act to gloat loudly and verbally rip Selkie to shreds in front of Amanda and Todd (and Theo and Mari), maybe then they’ll realize something is very wrong. Theo and Mari are pretty hip to this, Andi senses something’s up, but it might take a crisis for Todd to get the severity of what she’s dealt with.
I don’t want to see Selkie hurt, but I want her dad to finally understand what she’s been going through.
In what way is this over the top? Todd didn’t grab her and start spanking her in the middle of a walmart just because she was begging for a box of cereal with a toy in it. He got upset for her lying to him for something that could have had POTENTIAL HORIBLE RAMIFICATIONS. Spying on intimate family moments like that is something that is not good, curious or not.
Also bare minimum of attention? What evidence do we have of that. We only see scenes of relevance that the author chooses to draw, there has been a time skip since the Amanda revelation has come out of atleast a month. Just because he isn’t super parent and doesn’t notice things (something true of a high percentage of most parents) does not mean bare minimum of attention.
I love how you only equate violence as an act of overreacting. Like literally. Todd is going a bit overboard when it seems happy hasn’t paid her enough attention and only Amanda. I mean for cripes sake the guy took how long to see there was a problem and YELLED at Selkie when she was upset. This isn’t about him being a super parent. This is about him being a jerk lately.
Like placing blame on Selkie for her being jealous and hurt her bully is around and he isn’t paying attention to this. Making her home unsafe for her.
Has Todd really been ignoring Selkie? I don’t really believe that. He may have been oblivios to Amanda being a see-you-next-tuesday to Selkie, but I don’t really see Todd as the kind of person who’d outright ignore Selkie.
The strips kind of showed how Amanda was behaving, but I doubt that Todd was ignoring her the entire time. I think it was intended to be a montage of Amanda just being a jerk.
It showed Todd not even acknowledging this as a problem. Glossing it over and not even really considering Selkie’s feelings in the slightest. It’s pretty much him more around Amanda than Selkie.
Not noticing there is a problem where folks saying he was not paying enough attention come from, like, yea that is the point, Selkie was very obviously upset but he wouldn’t even know unless Mari had told him.
No she wasn’t. And that’s a paper thin excuse that excuses nothing. It explains something but shouldn’t excuse the fact that he KNOWS Amanda is her bully. He KNOWS that it’s hard to be around her. And he KNOWS that she’s been a jerk. But he’s done NOTHING to make sure Selkie feels/is safe in her own home.
Nothing but put the blame on Selkie as well which isn’t a wise move ever.
What is he supposed to do hmm? Todd adopted a child because he wants to be a father and express his love. It wouldn’t be right to abandon Amanda any more then it would be to abandon Selkie. He is only human and no I don’t mean that in comparison to Selkie and her people. He is trying his best in a bad situation. My only point overall is cut him some slack. What should he be doing oh perfect parent?
I’m not a parent. He needs to actually stop being oblivious to his kids feelings but hey that’s just too darn hard for him to do! I mean it isn’t an like he can talk to Andi about Amanda’s behavior. Eyup. He should just give up on her.
I mean I never even implied this or anything so let’s go with the abusive overreaction. Cuz talking and getting to the root of the problem while taking care of both kids is just too hard!!!
Todd does really poorly at recognizing how others feel through non-verbal communication. Case in point, Andi being unhappy about her pregnancy. He completely missed how afraid, confused and unsure she was because he was happy. He did the same thing to Selkie. He’s fine, so everyone else must be too. It’s a problem Todd has. I don’t think he’s doing it intentionally at all, but it does rub me the wrong way. Especially since he very clearly ignored Andi’s feelings in the past and somehow still manages to place the blame solely on her because of how insensitive he is. Unintentionally.
It doesn’t make Todd a bad person, it just means he’s very wrapped up in his own happiness. I don’t think he’s ignored Selkie at all. His attention is divided at times, yes, but I don’t think he’d just… ignore her completely. Ignored her feelings by accident, yeah, but he didn’t just act like she was nonexistent.
Yeah…. I really find people who use Christmas as a discipline with their kids to be teaching them pretty much the opposite of what the holiday is *really* about. I knew a lady who joyfully bragged she gave her kids presents away and gave them to charity because they did something disobedient (not beyond a normal thing for 4 and 6 year olds). Her children seemed *very* obsessed with material things and it was pretty obvious why. This isn’t to say Todd doesn’t have a right to be angry at Selkie, but he is really pushing this over the top. Add in his obsession with breastfeeding privacy (I still agree he (re)acted like a full-fledged weenie about that) and it’s a little on the creepy end.
My mom never used Christmas against me. Oh, she would say it was two days before Christmas, but that was always a signal that I would soon hear a two hour lecture on the meaning of the holiday and why do I act up around this holiday. It was quite effective.
Frankly, I never cared for the idea of Xmas to begin with. I am not a religious person, nor was I raised religious.
I understand the concept behind Xmas. But I feel that it has become far too main stream, I feel like the retail market has basically taken it prisoner, it sets expectations too high. Even as an adult, my Mom will apologize that she doesn’t have that much money and I have to keep telling her I am happy just to spend time with her.
I realize that Xmas is supposed to instill a sense of magic in wonder in children, but I just don’t like the overall concept. If I ever had children, I would not try and encourage the story of Santa or whatever.
And from a religious aspect I once read that the timing for Jesus’s birthday VS Xmas is completely off.
I also don’t like how a majority of the charities in my area only ask for donations during Xmas. Honestly, I feel like they should be doing it all year long for needy families.
My problem with Christmas is people are trying to have it both ways. There’s a big movement that tries to force Christmas on everyone (for example, by releasing a list of companies that don’t Christmas enough) AND want Christmas to be a profoundly religious holiday. You can have a universal holiday or an exclusive holiday, but not both.
She is. She was never a “normal” parent in the idea of what a normal parent is supposed to be. She was a stoner, worked as a bartender and I joke around, the only bouncer they needed. She wasn’t a PTA, soccer mom type. But she was always there for me, always took care of my many wounds, and would not be afraid to drop the hammer on anyone to make sure either of her children were comfortable and taken care of.
She was a biker hippy that took no guff in her youth, and while she’s mellowed out, I still wouldn’t mess with her.
Plenty of people are uncomfortable with breast feeding. Many people feel it’s a private thing that should remain private. I happen to be one of those people and there are plenty of other people who feel the same way.
Todd wasn’t being creepy, he was simply trying to give them privacy. If Selkie wanted to know what was up, she should have asked instead of creeping around and lying. At least then the Mother could have given consent or not.
It wasn’t the fact he treated it as private. It’s the way he (over)reacted to it. Dude didn’t react at all to seeing his daughter’s species hatching as fish, but breast-feeding is a crazy horrifying emergency. Yeah… That’s a Weenie from Weeniehut Junior reaction. 🙂
I kinda got the impression he was nervous and embarrassed at his own lack of understanding things without it being spelled out for him rather than him being horrified. If he was at all horrified, it’d be because he’s worried he offended her because he didn’t understand right away and may have made her feel like her privacy was invaded. I mean, clearly she wasn’t super comfortable with him being present. He probably felt bad she needed to make it apparent she wanted to breast feed and he didn’t understand right as a what she meant.
I disagree. I think he was initially more surprised by the fact that she breastfed in general and not the actual concept of breastfeeding. I mean I wouldn’t have thought they drank milk. But then he probably felt awkward that he assumed they didn’t drink milk and it dawned on him that they do. Then, yes, he was probably like, “Oh man I was kinda rude by insinuating they didn’t drink milk and now this is awkward and sort of a private thing and I should probably go.” and I mean, he has no idea how SHE feels about breastfeeding feeding in front of people. And I mean, she doesn’t know Todd that well. They aren’t insanely close. He’s got no idea how to gauge her reaction or her feelings so he felt embarrassed and invading towards her.
You aren’t a weenie for not knowing how the other person will react. You shouldn’t really assume one way or another. And given her response of, “Boob, mostly.” And, “Yes, that would be nice.” He’s well within his right to feel unsure of how she feels. Her expression, tone and mannerisms were sort of reserved and mildly sarcastic and very hard to gague. He knows she’s usually over the top and loud, so that reaction was a little different than her norm. Honestly, he was probably more embarrassed about what transpired before rather than the fact that she was breastfeeding. Sure, that probably made him feel a little uncomfortable too, but more in regards to her own comfort level than his.
Of course TODD had no way of knowing what the baby ate or knowing when she was gonna breastfeed or when the proper time to excuse himself or ask if she wanted some privacy or not. There’s no real easy way to bring it up because you never know how the OTHER person will react so you try and attempt to be nice and not awkward about it, but it comes off awkward either way
Todd looked horrified less of the actual concept of breastfeeding and more of being mildly rude to her and awkward by not knowing how she’d react to having to explicitly tell him she was going to breastfeed because he assumed they didn’t drink milk.
I felt the same at first. I even said the same thing, but then I realized he didn’t really react that way about any of the other surprises surrounding the hatching (most of which were way more shocking). I think that is what bothers me about it the most. As someone who’s breastfed and had to deal with other people’s “issues” about it, that comes off as offensive humor.
I think the biggest thing is he saw she was in an egg and while he didn’t expect her to look like an eel or lungfish, it wasn’t that odd. The biggest thing is he asked what she ate, not realizing it was milk, whicheck opened up an awkward response and conversation and Todd REALIZED that. Like, if someone says, “I need to feed my baby.” You don’t really need to think too much to figure out what they might be saying. I mean, if they bottle feed, they aren’t going to tell you, they’re gonna pull out a bottle. Not too many people are gonna pop their breast out and just start feeding in front of an acquaintance. People they’re comfortable with, sure.
On a different subject, is it wrong I really am wishing Todd soon starts to see a therapist? It’s not I think he’s a bad or crazy person, but most people who have been through child abuse (and Todd’s was severe enough the state jumped in) can run into struggles with their past when they parent under *normal* conditions. This whole thing with Amanda has to be bringing up a lot of ghosts and it’s possible these are keeping Todd from being a (normally great) dad and/or guy. Maybe he is supposed to come off as responsible in this arc, but he strike me much more as someone having bad parenting moments. Not necessarily abusive, but not great choices either.
I never said he was a bad parent. I said he made bad choices.
1. Yelling at Andi in front of the girls (doesn’t matter they were in a different room—they could hear it).
2. Leaving Amanda alone with Selkie—especially considering their history.
3. Being shocked Selkie was upset about the whole situation. Even parents who add babies to their families are aware their existing children will have (and do have) insecurity and jealousy issues.
4. Making breastfeeding into a horrifying emergency. It’s okay he could have acted a little like “oops, we better give you privacy,” but his expressions when he put it together were really over-exaggerated—especially since he didn’t react much at all to the hatching.
5. Making a BFD about Selkie sneaking off and bringing up Christmas into it (for the reasons I mention above). Parents I’ve seen who do this a lot usually end up with kids who don’t listen.
Should add that for all it’s worth, this doesn’t make Todd a bad parent/person, or even a bad character. This is remarkable in character for him from what we’ve seen in his past. He’s had a tough childhood, but had some amazing parents adopt and raise him, but he is human! He seems to sometimes be blissfully unaware of others’ feelings (Andi when she was pregnant is a great example), and it is very normal for a lot of child abuse victims not to properly react in all situation—even those of us who are healthy survivors.
1. Andi had a terrible secret and totally betrayed Todd. Most people wouldn’t handle that well.
2. Todd didn’t know what the extent of Amanda’s bullying entailed. The comic also didn’t show all the time they spent, but simply the bullying Amanda dished out. This isn’t a indicator of the time they all spent with one another.
3. Todd was only shocked because he wasn’t aware of the situation. Amanda most likely did a good job of hiding her bullying. Like Todd’s Mother said, children hide their battles.
4. He didn’t make it into a horrifying emergency. He was simply surprised. Just because Todd looked expressive doesn’t mean he was horrified.
5. He didn’t make a big fucking deal about it. Selkie lied so she could spy on someone. We don’t even know what the extent of the discussion is going to be yet. Selkie should have asked instead of lying and sneaking off, invading someone’s privacy.
I’d like to add Todd was over the moon about Andi being pregnant. Based on the comic I believe Andi was bullied by her Mother to give the child up. Todd was only unaware of this because people chose to LIE to him.
Half right, I’d say. Most people CAN understand a whole lot even when people don’t talk. Facial expressions, body language, sudden silences when a subject comes up… most people do pick up on this to some extent, and eventually they will ask, “Is something wrong? You don’t seem happy.”
Unfortunately, Todd is bad at picking up non-verbal cues about other people’s feelings. We’ve seen this over and over. Like, really terrible at it even as an adult. He NEEDS to be told in words. As a teen, it seems he was much worse. He had no clue that Andi was unhappy. How can you not notice that your girlfriend isn’t happy about being pregnant? How can you not even ask? But he didn’t.
As others have pointed out, this may well be a residue of the abuse he endured as a young child. I’m not blaming him for it. But it’s a handicap that makes him come across as oblivious, self-centred, and insensitive, to anyone who’s expecting him to have a normal range of non-verbal perception. The unconscious default presumption isn’t that he has a perceptual difficulty — it’s that he doesn’t care enough about other people’s feelings to bother paying attention, which would of course make him rather a jerk.
We know he isn’t. We’ve seen that he does care. But he does have this huge emotional blind spot, and it’s a big part of his character.
2. Todd knew that Amanda was bullying Selkie BEFORE it even came to his knowledge that he was Amanda’s father. Why did he do absolutely nothing to address it before? Why did he not try to get to the bottom of it, and why good lord why, knowing that she bullied Selkie did he do so little when he decided it would be a great idea to force them to be together by bringing Amanda over to his place? The most I can recall him doing is telling them BOTH they had to be nice to each other. As if Selkie was the one responsible for Amanda’s tormenting her.
Yes, I agree Todd didn’t know the extent, and thats the problem, he failed to do his due dilligence and failed to recognize that given that past he would need to do a MUCH more thorough job of supervising when Amanda was around Selkie.
I agree with the first 3. But is he really making a big deal out if what Selkie just did? She lied, twice. Invaded someone’s privacy when she knew not to. Ran out into the cold with no explanation. Todd hears Sai Fen shout for Pohl rather urgently. He’s got no idea what’s going on. He caught Selkie in her lie and she tried to stick to her lie. The Christmas thing is silly, but eh, parents do that. I don’t think he’s making a big deal out of her lying and her invasion of privacy. She shouldn’t have done those things.
“I agree with the first 3. But is he really making a big deal out if what Selkie just did? ”
I’m picking up on his expressions (and reading in tone) versus just his words. He looks like he’s yelling at her in the last panel. In the first panel, it’s understandable (she put her health at risk), but the last it looks like he’s having a sh*t fit rather than simple talking to/disciplining. I also have issues when people bring holidays into disciplining kids, but that’s my own thing.
Nah, I read that as, “Ums, yes, you’re rights. I guess I dids screws ups big-times. Sorrys, Dads.”
Which — given that she totally knew she was doing something wrong at the time, and then she lied again — is about the reaction you’d want her to have. Another time, let’s hope she’ll think more carefully about being “sneaky”.
Not that I, personally, am sorry she did it — her action promises to advance the plot beautifully!
He really hasn’t even done anything yet, just call her out on the spying and lying, both things which she did and even knows are wrong. We don’t know if and how he plans to punish her yet.
Mind, least to me it does not look like he is actually yelling, just talking in the raised parent voice, you all know that one, right?
Also, letting things like this go and calling it, ‘fibs’ or ‘white lies’ or ‘just curiosity’ is a bad thing to do. He NEEDS to address this. Selkie has anger and boundary issues. It’s been noted before. If he leaves it be or just brushes it off as harmless it’s going to cause damage in the future. Allowing bad behavior to persist simply as, “Eh it’s harmless kid stuff. I’ll let you off this time.” is how you get kids like Amanda or kids screaming obscenities at their mom in Walmart for not buying them what they want and causing a scene.
Imo Selkie has a couple of issues that could get bad if left unaddressed. She thinks she’s very clever and smart and therefor it’s fine for her to act out sometimes because she’s so clever. That’s going to lead to, “vigilante above the law” scenarios one day if she’s not careful. She reacts in anger when people don’t immediately understand her and shouts in public for it because she thinks people are out to get her. And she thinks it’s fine to spy on people if she doesn’t get caught.
This doesn’t make her a bad kid. But if you just let her think that because she’s smart and sarcastic she’s allowed to yell at Todd and argue her point because she thinks she’s smart, it’s just going to bite Todd in the ass. (I’m referencing an earlier strip.) Sarcasm is cute, but sometimes she comes off as a holier than thou type person with it.
“Also, letting things like this go and calling it, ‘fibs’ or ‘white lies’ or ‘just curiosity’ is a bad thing to do. He NEEDS to address this. ”
Oh, I agree with that fully, but how he is doing it is not the greatest. As I mentioned above it looks like he’s yelling and emotional. It is really to the best benefit (of both parent and child) not to talk to your kid in the heat of the moment when you are angry unless they are directly doing something dangerous. It’s not good to dress down your kid at a friend’s house either unless it is something very serious. It makes everyone uncomfortable. Also, when kids lie, it’s good to get down to the cause of it versus just scolding them. Part of why they do it can be because of distrust so it’s better to ask questions in those cases before pointing fingers. This does not mean the kid doesn’t get held accountable (I’m a big fan of consequences myself).
I don’t think his reaction is a big deal, myself. Yes, he’s lost his temper a bit. (Lies are, as one might expect, a bit of a hot button for him right now.)
But Selkie KNEW he wouldn’t want her sneaking back to peek, that’s exactly why she lied to get away. In her kid mind she weighed known consequences against her desire to know — and curiosity won. Which is a good sign, in a way. She trusts Todd to be a good Dad. Getting yelled at now? It’s only what she expects. It’s fair. She knows she’s earned it. She’d be surprised (and perhaps a bit worried) if he didn’t yell at her.
Said this above, but do you and folks really read what Todd is doing here as yelling? Like I think there’s a difference between that and raising one’s voice and to me it reads as if Todd is doing the later.
It’s not how loud his voice is, it’s the word choice. He’s letting her know he’s angry with her – for good reason. His voice probably IS raised, but even if he lowered his voice to say it (which, come to think of it, would be way more threatening), just about any kid, describing it afterwards to a friend, would say, “Wow, did I ever get in trouble for that. My dad really yelled at me!”
I don’t think he’s yelling. I think he’s speaking sternly and saying some words with emphasis to get his point across. He wants her to know he’s mad at her for her actions and that what she did was wrong.
I know what yelling and screaming at a child looks like and it’s definitely not that. He’s just being a typical parent who’s disappointed in their child’s bad behavior and wants them to know that.
Selkie isn’t cringing in fear or horror she’s shrinking back because she knows she’s been caught in a lie and feels stupid for it.
My parents always railed into me that the truth was the best policy. But I quickly learned that it wasn’t. And clearly a lot of times adults don’t have to live by the same rules they apply to their children.
I quickly learned not getting caught was the best policy. I was always super honest as a kid and it gave me nothing but hell. While in middle school I was called into the Principal’s office due to an “incident” that had been reported.
I was truthful and was given two weeks of school suspension, the Principal told me because I was honest I was only suspended for two weeks when everyone else was suspended for three.
Later I found out everyone else involved had simply denied the entire thing and got off Scott free. It was really stupid and my Mom made fun of me for it, also, I was going on a family trip for the next two weeks so it didn’t matter.
As far as Xmas goes, I honestly wish the Krampus was a real thing. I knew a ton of spoiled rotten assholes in school that were complete and utter dick heads, but got everything their hearts desired when Xmas rolled around.
I really wish a monster like Krampus showed up and beat some sense into their asses.
Yeah, the people I meet who parent like that usually *do* end up with “little assholes” for kids. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s important to hold children accountable and not shield them from consequences, but to raise them in an aversive way guarantees that is exactly what they learn as they grow. To be aversive. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not fond of wannabe “free rangers” (note I say “wannabe”—people who free-range properly aren’t lazy parents), because they end up with kids with self-centered spoiled tendencies. Furthermore, it’s not how much a child ends up with that makes them spoiled. It’s how their parents show love. The kids who’s parents use things to make them feel loved or punish them are much more likely to be materialistic and “spoiled.” Teaching a child empathy and to think before acting (which begins with modeling it) is a much more powerful way of parenting.
I took some behavior classes in school. That doesn’t make me an expert, but it does allow me to form an opinion.
I’ve always argued with nature VS nurture that while how a person is raised certainly effects how a person grows up, at the end of the day, it’s up to everyone to have a sense of personal accountability.
If your behavior is driving people away, or causing a negative reaction, then it should be obvious that what you are doing is off putting. The only people who don’t realize that are sociopaths.
You can cry your parents didn’t love you as much as you want, but at the end of the day, the only person behaving like an asshole is you.
At the end of the day, the only person responsible for your behaviour is you.
Yes. This is true — for adults. In fact, I would say having this realization is when you cross the dividing line between being a self-absorbed teenager, not all the way grown up, and being a responsible adult.
It doesn’t matter how many mistakes your parents made bringing you up. Even the best parents make some, and part of the maturing process is figuring out how those mistakes may have led you to behave in ways that may damage your future. You do need to understand… but at some point, the blame game still has to stop.
“I took some behavior classes in school. That doesn’t make me an expert, but it does allow me to form an opinion.”
You are welcome to your opinion regardless. I highly doubt these “behavior classes” used the word asshole to describe people. Any time I hear someone using that word regularly to generalize and label other people, I find I have a difficult time taking them seriously. Those I’ve met (in real life) who are most in love with using that word to describe others—especially children—tend to have serious self-image and mental issue. I have no idea if you do or not (you may be a very nice person in real life who uses the internet to vent), but that is the picture you are painting when you keep overusing the word “asshole” as you have been.
Another thing about Christmas is treating it like you have to be better behaved than the rest of the year. Silly. I expect my kid to be an overall good person all year around. However, most *adults* aren’t perfect during the holidays. Our schedules are thrown off, there’s usually stress from family and insecurities and we are tired. It’s not completely fair to expect children to be much better behaved this time of year (or at least be better behaved than they are the rest of the year).
Once again, it’s not that you don’t hold your child accountable, but it’s not a good idea drag the holidays into it unless you are telling them “Hey, today is special, and we need to do our best to make it happy together.”
I am an introvert by nature, I don’t spend a great deal of time with anyone year around. But I do try and be on my best behavior when I am with my family on the holidays.
This can be particularly hard for me, as I am a very direct person and when someone is being a douche, I generally tell them so. My sister is married, had twins and is VERY happy, but I can’t stand her husband, he’s a real prick. During the holidays I try my best not to let him get to me, copious amounts of booze helps with that.
The holidays can be rough and stressful, as well as the extra added expectations added on to it. We don’t need human drama adding on to that problem as well.
Still, it’s important not to allow people to think it’s acceptable to behave in such fashions. I was actually completely disconnected from my sister for two years because of her husband’s behavior, up until the point my Mother begged me to be the bigger person, since she wanted to see her entire family.
Since then, my brother in law has behaved better, but he still has his moments where I just want to bash him in the face with the nearest dense object.
Does the second one really count? I feel like, because she came clean a few seconds later(abit nudged with a dadglare), that one doesn’t have to count.
I’m all for Todd’s parenting here, I’m just wondering if it would be better to reward coming clean.
Twice? What was the first time?
First was the initial bathroom fib, second was lying about using the bathroom again when asked about it.
Lol I waa just typing that.
(Wouldn’t that count as a continuation of the initial fib, though? For comparison: if you ask a child something ten times and they stick to their story before you find out (or reveal that you know) the truth, is it twice as bad as if you only asked five times? It’s only a single deception, with a single starting and single ending point.)
It’s worse than if they just come clean, isn’t it? If you ask once and they lie, then you ask again and they come clean, that is better than if you ask once and they lie, you ask again and they lie again. I don’t think the onus is on you, the person trying to ascertain the truth.
((I now have a mental image of a parent who asks everything twice, because the answer is sometimes different the second time.))
First time was when she said she needed the bathroom. Second time was just now, when she tried to stick to her story.
Nicely done, Todd. Calling her on the bad behavior. Good to see he has the Dads Eye of Doom glare down, and she’s a good enough kid to admit she was wrong. Not that it should get her out of trouble; she got over excited but she tried the lying thing, and that’s no good.
yeah, I’m glad to see their relationship has progressed to the level that the dad-glare works to get her to fess up.
Selkie gets yelled at, Amanda gets ice cream. Great balance there…
Selkie lied and spied on someone and tried to lie to get out of it. Amanda was insulted heavily in front of her peers as if she wasn’t there, by an adult no less and ran off in anger and shame and accidentally consumed alcohol.
How are those things even remotely comparable?
“Accidentally” consumed multiple cups of alcohol after being told not to? And being called out for what she did, physically assaulting her “friend” is not being insulted. Not to mention all the other sh*t she’s gotten away with or the adults have ignored, like years of tormenting Selkie. You’re right, they aren’t remotely comparable.
The difference, I believe, is in the previous behavior. People who behave good are held to higher standards because they have already shown they know how to act civilly.
On the other hand, those who misbehave regularly are given some leniency in an attempt to correct their behavior, especially if it is discovered the why of such behavior.
Fibbing within a week of Christmas counts double! Or so I’m told.
I thought for sure she’d be given hot tea to warm up. As a tea lover, I’m greatly disappointed.
I believe Todd wants to introduce things like tea very slowly.
Times of stress are not good times to introduce something new that you want the person to like. Accidental conditional training would happen.
Some months ago I mentioned that I had started my YouTube channel, and also that this community means a lot to me and that I wanted to share that moment with you guys.
This is another thing I’d like to share (but I waited a few days on account of not wanting it buried under a giant page of chatter about exciting plot developments). I’ve finally put together a video about my Tiny Box Tim Day project, and the video is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JD7Pj1mpkk4
The video explains what’s going on, but basically I’ve invented a holiday for helping others, celebrated by donating time, money, and creativity to charity, and by giving thanks to the people who’ve made a difference in your life. The actual celebration is June 28th (which is Markiplier’s birthday), hence the name of my video.
I’m gonna go a bit early and point out that you, Dave, have thrice made a difference in my life:
1. You made this excellent webcomic, starting from admittedly poor art (as many webcomics do), which reminds me over and over that I don’t need to have awesome skills to start putting my work out to the public. (Now if I could get the perfectionist part of my brain to listen to that lesson.)
2. You chose my strip for the Christmas update, which may not have meant a lot to you (it was one of a few possible choices, it fit the theme, all that), but to me it cut through a lot of the way my brain is always telling me how flawed my work is. It reminded me that my work can be good enough for others to enjoy.
…actually, that’s really a three-parter: Pushing me to actually make a comic page for reals, accepting it even though it was late, and then choosing it for Christmas. All three mean a lot to me.
3. And you were gracious enough to drop by my YouTube channel to watch my first official video and even comment — I didn’t expect that! When I’m struggling to get my content together (as I’m learning new software techniques as I go, among other difficulties), that encouragement comes to mind and pushes me to not give up.
So I wanted to express to you my gratitude, as part of my celebration of Tiny Box Tim Day. I really do appreciate what you’ve done for me 🙂
I’m very touched by this, I didn’t have any idea that I’d had this sort of an impact. Thank you for sharing this. I love the idea behind Tiny Box Tim Day, I really hope it takes off!
This feels over the top. Like dude. You’ve been giving her bare minimum attention lately and putting her bully first. Of course she’s going to be acting this way.
Yeah, asking why she lied would be a lot better than just saying “You’re in big trouble”. But it’s also been pretty obvious that Selkie’s being forgotten lately and this underscores it.
There’s a way to bring all this together: the “big trouble” might finally show Amanda’s meanness to Selkie in front of Todd.
Something like Amanda learning that Selkie’s in trouble and getting excited, crowing that if Selkie’s in trouble it means she’ll get sent back to the orphanage because that’s what happens to bad kids, adding in some fish insults for good measure. If Amanda forgets her “pigtails and ponies” act to gloat loudly and verbally rip Selkie to shreds in front of Amanda and Todd (and Theo and Mari), maybe then they’ll realize something is very wrong. Theo and Mari are pretty hip to this, Andi senses something’s up, but it might take a crisis for Todd to get the severity of what she’s dealt with.
I don’t want to see Selkie hurt, but I want her dad to finally understand what she’s been going through.
In what way is this over the top? Todd didn’t grab her and start spanking her in the middle of a walmart just because she was begging for a box of cereal with a toy in it. He got upset for her lying to him for something that could have had POTENTIAL HORIBLE RAMIFICATIONS. Spying on intimate family moments like that is something that is not good, curious or not.
Also bare minimum of attention? What evidence do we have of that. We only see scenes of relevance that the author chooses to draw, there has been a time skip since the Amanda revelation has come out of atleast a month. Just because he isn’t super parent and doesn’t notice things (something true of a high percentage of most parents) does not mean bare minimum of attention.
I love how you only equate violence as an act of overreacting. Like literally. Todd is going a bit overboard when it seems happy hasn’t paid her enough attention and only Amanda. I mean for cripes sake the guy took how long to see there was a problem and YELLED at Selkie when she was upset. This isn’t about him being a super parent. This is about him being a jerk lately.
Like placing blame on Selkie for her being jealous and hurt her bully is around and he isn’t paying attention to this. Making her home unsafe for her.
Has Todd really been ignoring Selkie? I don’t really believe that. He may have been oblivios to Amanda being a see-you-next-tuesday to Selkie, but I don’t really see Todd as the kind of person who’d outright ignore Selkie.
The strips kind of showed how Amanda was behaving, but I doubt that Todd was ignoring her the entire time. I think it was intended to be a montage of Amanda just being a jerk.
It showed Todd not even acknowledging this as a problem. Glossing it over and not even really considering Selkie’s feelings in the slightest. It’s pretty much him more around Amanda than Selkie.
Todd didn’t even know it was a problem, so how can he acknowledge it? He did when he was aware of the problem.
Not noticing there is a problem where folks saying he was not paying enough attention come from, like, yea that is the point, Selkie was very obviously upset but he wouldn’t even know unless Mari had told him.
No she wasn’t. She hid her problems.
No she wasn’t. And that’s a paper thin excuse that excuses nothing. It explains something but shouldn’t excuse the fact that he KNOWS Amanda is her bully. He KNOWS that it’s hard to be around her. And he KNOWS that she’s been a jerk. But he’s done NOTHING to make sure Selkie feels/is safe in her own home.
Nothing but put the blame on Selkie as well which isn’t a wise move ever.
No.
“No.” Except yeah he does know this. He does know that she’s being hurt and is kind of blaming her.
You saying “no” isn’t even a discussion. Good job.
What is he supposed to do hmm? Todd adopted a child because he wants to be a father and express his love. It wouldn’t be right to abandon Amanda any more then it would be to abandon Selkie. He is only human and no I don’t mean that in comparison to Selkie and her people. He is trying his best in a bad situation. My only point overall is cut him some slack. What should he be doing oh perfect parent?
I’m not a parent. He needs to actually stop being oblivious to his kids feelings but hey that’s just too darn hard for him to do! I mean it isn’t an like he can talk to Andi about Amanda’s behavior. Eyup. He should just give up on her.
I mean I never even implied this or anything so let’s go with the abusive overreaction. Cuz talking and getting to the root of the problem while taking care of both kids is just too hard!!!
Todd does really poorly at recognizing how others feel through non-verbal communication. Case in point, Andi being unhappy about her pregnancy. He completely missed how afraid, confused and unsure she was because he was happy. He did the same thing to Selkie. He’s fine, so everyone else must be too. It’s a problem Todd has. I don’t think he’s doing it intentionally at all, but it does rub me the wrong way. Especially since he very clearly ignored Andi’s feelings in the past and somehow still manages to place the blame solely on her because of how insensitive he is. Unintentionally.
It doesn’t make Todd a bad person, it just means he’s very wrapped up in his own happiness. I don’t think he’s ignored Selkie at all. His attention is divided at times, yes, but I don’t think he’d just… ignore her completely. Ignored her feelings by accident, yeah, but he didn’t just act like she was nonexistent.
And yet Mari found out with a single phone call.
To be fair, Mari has been through this song and dance a time or two and knows the questions to ask. Still though, Todd IS being pretty oblivious.
When he did find out about it. He didn’t do enough other than be a giant jerk and blame Selkie partly for it. Like. No. Not good.
Where’s the thumb’s up button? 🙂
Yeah…. I really find people who use Christmas as a discipline with their kids to be teaching them pretty much the opposite of what the holiday is *really* about. I knew a lady who joyfully bragged she gave her kids presents away and gave them to charity because they did something disobedient (not beyond a normal thing for 4 and 6 year olds). Her children seemed *very* obsessed with material things and it was pretty obvious why. This isn’t to say Todd doesn’t have a right to be angry at Selkie, but he is really pushing this over the top. Add in his obsession with breastfeeding privacy (I still agree he (re)acted like a full-fledged weenie about that) and it’s a little on the creepy end.
My mom never used Christmas against me. Oh, she would say it was two days before Christmas, but that was always a signal that I would soon hear a two hour lecture on the meaning of the holiday and why do I act up around this holiday. It was quite effective.
Frankly, I never cared for the idea of Xmas to begin with. I am not a religious person, nor was I raised religious.
I understand the concept behind Xmas. But I feel that it has become far too main stream, I feel like the retail market has basically taken it prisoner, it sets expectations too high. Even as an adult, my Mom will apologize that she doesn’t have that much money and I have to keep telling her I am happy just to spend time with her.
I realize that Xmas is supposed to instill a sense of magic in wonder in children, but I just don’t like the overall concept. If I ever had children, I would not try and encourage the story of Santa or whatever.
And from a religious aspect I once read that the timing for Jesus’s birthday VS Xmas is completely off.
I also don’t like how a majority of the charities in my area only ask for donations during Xmas. Honestly, I feel like they should be doing it all year long for needy families.
My problem with Christmas is people are trying to have it both ways. There’s a big movement that tries to force Christmas on everyone (for example, by releasing a list of companies that don’t Christmas enough) AND want Christmas to be a profoundly religious holiday. You can have a universal holiday or an exclusive holiday, but not both.
You’re mom sounds like an awesome parent, Gallows. 😉
She is. She was never a “normal” parent in the idea of what a normal parent is supposed to be. She was a stoner, worked as a bartender and I joke around, the only bouncer they needed. She wasn’t a PTA, soccer mom type. But she was always there for me, always took care of my many wounds, and would not be afraid to drop the hammer on anyone to make sure either of her children were comfortable and taken care of.
She was a biker hippy that took no guff in her youth, and while she’s mellowed out, I still wouldn’t mess with her.
Plenty of people are uncomfortable with breast feeding. Many people feel it’s a private thing that should remain private. I happen to be one of those people and there are plenty of other people who feel the same way.
Todd wasn’t being creepy, he was simply trying to give them privacy. If Selkie wanted to know what was up, she should have asked instead of creeping around and lying. At least then the Mother could have given consent or not.
It wasn’t the fact he treated it as private. It’s the way he (over)reacted to it. Dude didn’t react at all to seeing his daughter’s species hatching as fish, but breast-feeding is a crazy horrifying emergency. Yeah… That’s a Weenie from Weeniehut Junior reaction. 🙂
No it’s not. It’s right up there with being being afraid of spiders and disliking vegetables.
I didn’t see anything in the strips that would count as being horrified.
My sister had twins last year, she usually bottle feeds them, which she pumped, but when she does breast feed, I leave the room.
Aside from the comically large eyes and horrified look on his face? Gee. How could anyone think he was horrified.
I totally agree, LadyObvious! Even though Todd can be a reactive character, I was rather surprised how breastfeeding was handled in a Selkie story.
I didn’t.
I kinda got the impression he was nervous and embarrassed at his own lack of understanding things without it being spelled out for him rather than him being horrified. If he was at all horrified, it’d be because he’s worried he offended her because he didn’t understand right away and may have made her feel like her privacy was invaded. I mean, clearly she wasn’t super comfortable with him being present. He probably felt bad she needed to make it apparent she wanted to breast feed and he didn’t understand right as a what she meant.
She probably did because Todd’s culture,society,makes it seem obscene and treat breastfeeding moms badly.
Also it was probably because she wanted to use her technology and didn’t want Todd to see. Because he’s human and she can’t help herself.
I disagree. I think he was initially more surprised by the fact that she breastfed in general and not the actual concept of breastfeeding. I mean I wouldn’t have thought they drank milk. But then he probably felt awkward that he assumed they didn’t drink milk and it dawned on him that they do. Then, yes, he was probably like, “Oh man I was kinda rude by insinuating they didn’t drink milk and now this is awkward and sort of a private thing and I should probably go.” and I mean, he has no idea how SHE feels about breastfeeding feeding in front of people. And I mean, she doesn’t know Todd that well. They aren’t insanely close. He’s got no idea how to gauge her reaction or her feelings so he felt embarrassed and invading towards her.
You aren’t a weenie for not knowing how the other person will react. You shouldn’t really assume one way or another. And given her response of, “Boob, mostly.” And, “Yes, that would be nice.” He’s well within his right to feel unsure of how she feels. Her expression, tone and mannerisms were sort of reserved and mildly sarcastic and very hard to gague. He knows she’s usually over the top and loud, so that reaction was a little different than her norm. Honestly, he was probably more embarrassed about what transpired before rather than the fact that she was breastfeeding. Sure, that probably made him feel a little uncomfortable too, but more in regards to her own comfort level than his.
Of course TODD had no way of knowing what the baby ate or knowing when she was gonna breastfeed or when the proper time to excuse himself or ask if she wanted some privacy or not. There’s no real easy way to bring it up because you never know how the OTHER person will react so you try and attempt to be nice and not awkward about it, but it comes off awkward either way
Long story short version;
Todd looked horrified less of the actual concept of breastfeeding and more of being mildly rude to her and awkward by not knowing how she’d react to having to explicitly tell him she was going to breastfeed because he assumed they didn’t drink milk.
I felt the same at first. I even said the same thing, but then I realized he didn’t really react that way about any of the other surprises surrounding the hatching (most of which were way more shocking). I think that is what bothers me about it the most. As someone who’s breastfed and had to deal with other people’s “issues” about it, that comes off as offensive humor.
I think the biggest thing is he saw she was in an egg and while he didn’t expect her to look like an eel or lungfish, it wasn’t that odd. The biggest thing is he asked what she ate, not realizing it was milk, whicheck opened up an awkward response and conversation and Todd REALIZED that. Like, if someone says, “I need to feed my baby.” You don’t really need to think too much to figure out what they might be saying. I mean, if they bottle feed, they aren’t going to tell you, they’re gonna pull out a bottle. Not too many people are gonna pop their breast out and just start feeding in front of an acquaintance. People they’re comfortable with, sure.
On a different subject, is it wrong I really am wishing Todd soon starts to see a therapist? It’s not I think he’s a bad or crazy person, but most people who have been through child abuse (and Todd’s was severe enough the state jumped in) can run into struggles with their past when they parent under *normal* conditions. This whole thing with Amanda has to be bringing up a lot of ghosts and it’s possible these are keeping Todd from being a (normally great) dad and/or guy. Maybe he is supposed to come off as responsible in this arc, but he strike me much more as someone having bad parenting moments. Not necessarily abusive, but not great choices either.
I don’t follow. I haven’t seen a single instance in which Todd is being a bad parent.
I never said he was a bad parent. I said he made bad choices.
1. Yelling at Andi in front of the girls (doesn’t matter they were in a different room—they could hear it).
2. Leaving Amanda alone with Selkie—especially considering their history.
3. Being shocked Selkie was upset about the whole situation. Even parents who add babies to their families are aware their existing children will have (and do have) insecurity and jealousy issues.
4. Making breastfeeding into a horrifying emergency. It’s okay he could have acted a little like “oops, we better give you privacy,” but his expressions when he put it together were really over-exaggerated—especially since he didn’t react much at all to the hatching.
5. Making a BFD about Selkie sneaking off and bringing up Christmas into it (for the reasons I mention above). Parents I’ve seen who do this a lot usually end up with kids who don’t listen.
Should add that for all it’s worth, this doesn’t make Todd a bad parent/person, or even a bad character. This is remarkable in character for him from what we’ve seen in his past. He’s had a tough childhood, but had some amazing parents adopt and raise him, but he is human! He seems to sometimes be blissfully unaware of others’ feelings (Andi when she was pregnant is a great example), and it is very normal for a lot of child abuse victims not to properly react in all situation—even those of us who are healthy survivors.
1. Andi had a terrible secret and totally betrayed Todd. Most people wouldn’t handle that well.
2. Todd didn’t know what the extent of Amanda’s bullying entailed. The comic also didn’t show all the time they spent, but simply the bullying Amanda dished out. This isn’t a indicator of the time they all spent with one another.
3. Todd was only shocked because he wasn’t aware of the situation. Amanda most likely did a good job of hiding her bullying. Like Todd’s Mother said, children hide their battles.
4. He didn’t make it into a horrifying emergency. He was simply surprised. Just because Todd looked expressive doesn’t mean he was horrified.
5. He didn’t make a big fucking deal about it. Selkie lied so she could spy on someone. We don’t even know what the extent of the discussion is going to be yet. Selkie should have asked instead of lying and sneaking off, invading someone’s privacy.
You are making an ant hill into a mountain.
I’d like to add Todd was over the moon about Andi being pregnant. Based on the comic I believe Andi was bullied by her Mother to give the child up. Todd was only unaware of this because people chose to LIE to him.
You can’t understand if people don’t talk.
Half right, I’d say. Most people CAN understand a whole lot even when people don’t talk. Facial expressions, body language, sudden silences when a subject comes up… most people do pick up on this to some extent, and eventually they will ask, “Is something wrong? You don’t seem happy.”
Unfortunately, Todd is bad at picking up non-verbal cues about other people’s feelings. We’ve seen this over and over. Like, really terrible at it even as an adult. He NEEDS to be told in words. As a teen, it seems he was much worse. He had no clue that Andi was unhappy. How can you not notice that your girlfriend isn’t happy about being pregnant? How can you not even ask? But he didn’t.
As others have pointed out, this may well be a residue of the abuse he endured as a young child. I’m not blaming him for it. But it’s a handicap that makes him come across as oblivious, self-centred, and insensitive, to anyone who’s expecting him to have a normal range of non-verbal perception. The unconscious default presumption isn’t that he has a perceptual difficulty — it’s that he doesn’t care enough about other people’s feelings to bother paying attention, which would of course make him rather a jerk.
We know he isn’t. We’ve seen that he does care. But he does have this huge emotional blind spot, and it’s a big part of his character.
2. Todd knew that Amanda was bullying Selkie BEFORE it even came to his knowledge that he was Amanda’s father. Why did he do absolutely nothing to address it before? Why did he not try to get to the bottom of it, and why good lord why, knowing that she bullied Selkie did he do so little when he decided it would be a great idea to force them to be together by bringing Amanda over to his place? The most I can recall him doing is telling them BOTH they had to be nice to each other. As if Selkie was the one responsible for Amanda’s tormenting her.
Yes, I agree Todd didn’t know the extent, and thats the problem, he failed to do his due dilligence and failed to recognize that given that past he would need to do a MUCH more thorough job of supervising when Amanda was around Selkie.
I agree with the first 3. But is he really making a big deal out if what Selkie just did? She lied, twice. Invaded someone’s privacy when she knew not to. Ran out into the cold with no explanation. Todd hears Sai Fen shout for Pohl rather urgently. He’s got no idea what’s going on. He caught Selkie in her lie and she tried to stick to her lie. The Christmas thing is silly, but eh, parents do that. I don’t think he’s making a big deal out of her lying and her invasion of privacy. She shouldn’t have done those things.
Also see above posts for breastfeeding analysis.
“I agree with the first 3. But is he really making a big deal out if what Selkie just did? ”
I’m picking up on his expressions (and reading in tone) versus just his words. He looks like he’s yelling at her in the last panel. In the first panel, it’s understandable (she put her health at risk), but the last it looks like he’s having a sh*t fit rather than simple talking to/disciplining. I also have issues when people bring holidays into disciplining kids, but that’s my own thing.
Also, look at Selkie’s posture in the last panel. Todd really overdid it.
Nah, I read that as, “Ums, yes, you’re rights. I guess I dids screws ups big-times. Sorrys, Dads.”
Which — given that she totally knew she was doing something wrong at the time, and then she lied again — is about the reaction you’d want her to have. Another time, let’s hope she’ll think more carefully about being “sneaky”.
Not that I, personally, am sorry she did it — her action promises to advance the plot beautifully!
I agree. She’s doing that because it’s like a, “Argh I got caught, crap…” thing, not a cowering in fear of Todd, thing.
No.
He really hasn’t even done anything yet, just call her out on the spying and lying, both things which she did and even knows are wrong. We don’t know if and how he plans to punish her yet.
Mind, least to me it does not look like he is actually yelling, just talking in the raised parent voice, you all know that one, right?
Also, letting things like this go and calling it, ‘fibs’ or ‘white lies’ or ‘just curiosity’ is a bad thing to do. He NEEDS to address this. Selkie has anger and boundary issues. It’s been noted before. If he leaves it be or just brushes it off as harmless it’s going to cause damage in the future. Allowing bad behavior to persist simply as, “Eh it’s harmless kid stuff. I’ll let you off this time.” is how you get kids like Amanda or kids screaming obscenities at their mom in Walmart for not buying them what they want and causing a scene.
Imo Selkie has a couple of issues that could get bad if left unaddressed. She thinks she’s very clever and smart and therefor it’s fine for her to act out sometimes because she’s so clever. That’s going to lead to, “vigilante above the law” scenarios one day if she’s not careful. She reacts in anger when people don’t immediately understand her and shouts in public for it because she thinks people are out to get her. And she thinks it’s fine to spy on people if she doesn’t get caught.
This doesn’t make her a bad kid. But if you just let her think that because she’s smart and sarcastic she’s allowed to yell at Todd and argue her point because she thinks she’s smart, it’s just going to bite Todd in the ass. (I’m referencing an earlier strip.) Sarcasm is cute, but sometimes she comes off as a holier than thou type person with it.
“Also, letting things like this go and calling it, ‘fibs’ or ‘white lies’ or ‘just curiosity’ is a bad thing to do. He NEEDS to address this. ”
Oh, I agree with that fully, but how he is doing it is not the greatest. As I mentioned above it looks like he’s yelling and emotional. It is really to the best benefit (of both parent and child) not to talk to your kid in the heat of the moment when you are angry unless they are directly doing something dangerous. It’s not good to dress down your kid at a friend’s house either unless it is something very serious. It makes everyone uncomfortable. Also, when kids lie, it’s good to get down to the cause of it versus just scolding them. Part of why they do it can be because of distrust so it’s better to ask questions in those cases before pointing fingers. This does not mean the kid doesn’t get held accountable (I’m a big fan of consequences myself).
I don’t think his reaction is a big deal, myself. Yes, he’s lost his temper a bit. (Lies are, as one might expect, a bit of a hot button for him right now.)
But Selkie KNEW he wouldn’t want her sneaking back to peek, that’s exactly why she lied to get away. In her kid mind she weighed known consequences against her desire to know — and curiosity won. Which is a good sign, in a way. She trusts Todd to be a good Dad. Getting yelled at now? It’s only what she expects. It’s fair. She knows she’s earned it. She’d be surprised (and perhaps a bit worried) if he didn’t yell at her.
Said this above, but do you and folks really read what Todd is doing here as yelling? Like I think there’s a difference between that and raising one’s voice and to me it reads as if Todd is doing the later.
Body language is key. His is very much like he’s yelling and being aggressive. Whether or not Todd intends on this,he’s doing it.
It’s not how loud his voice is, it’s the word choice. He’s letting her know he’s angry with her – for good reason. His voice probably IS raised, but even if he lowered his voice to say it (which, come to think of it, would be way more threatening), just about any kid, describing it afterwards to a friend, would say, “Wow, did I ever get in trouble for that. My dad really yelled at me!”
I don’t think he’s yelling. I think he’s speaking sternly and saying some words with emphasis to get his point across. He wants her to know he’s mad at her for her actions and that what she did was wrong.
I know what yelling and screaming at a child looks like and it’s definitely not that. He’s just being a typical parent who’s disappointed in their child’s bad behavior and wants them to know that.
Selkie isn’t cringing in fear or horror she’s shrinking back because she knows she’s been caught in a lie and feels stupid for it.
My parents always railed into me that the truth was the best policy. But I quickly learned that it wasn’t. And clearly a lot of times adults don’t have to live by the same rules they apply to their children.
I quickly learned not getting caught was the best policy. I was always super honest as a kid and it gave me nothing but hell. While in middle school I was called into the Principal’s office due to an “incident” that had been reported.
I was truthful and was given two weeks of school suspension, the Principal told me because I was honest I was only suspended for two weeks when everyone else was suspended for three.
Later I found out everyone else involved had simply denied the entire thing and got off Scott free. It was really stupid and my Mom made fun of me for it, also, I was going on a family trip for the next two weeks so it didn’t matter.
As far as Xmas goes, I honestly wish the Krampus was a real thing. I knew a ton of spoiled rotten assholes in school that were complete and utter dick heads, but got everything their hearts desired when Xmas rolled around.
I really wish a monster like Krampus showed up and beat some sense into their asses.
Yeah, the people I meet who parent like that usually *do* end up with “little assholes” for kids. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s important to hold children accountable and not shield them from consequences, but to raise them in an aversive way guarantees that is exactly what they learn as they grow. To be aversive. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not fond of wannabe “free rangers” (note I say “wannabe”—people who free-range properly aren’t lazy parents), because they end up with kids with self-centered spoiled tendencies. Furthermore, it’s not how much a child ends up with that makes them spoiled. It’s how their parents show love. The kids who’s parents use things to make them feel loved or punish them are much more likely to be materialistic and “spoiled.” Teaching a child empathy and to think before acting (which begins with modeling it) is a much more powerful way of parenting.
I took some behavior classes in school. That doesn’t make me an expert, but it does allow me to form an opinion.
I’ve always argued with nature VS nurture that while how a person is raised certainly effects how a person grows up, at the end of the day, it’s up to everyone to have a sense of personal accountability.
If your behavior is driving people away, or causing a negative reaction, then it should be obvious that what you are doing is off putting. The only people who don’t realize that are sociopaths.
You can cry your parents didn’t love you as much as you want, but at the end of the day, the only person behaving like an asshole is you.
At the end of the day, the only person responsible for your behaviour is you.
Yes. This is true — for adults. In fact, I would say having this realization is when you cross the dividing line between being a self-absorbed teenager, not all the way grown up, and being a responsible adult.
It doesn’t matter how many mistakes your parents made bringing you up. Even the best parents make some, and part of the maturing process is figuring out how those mistakes may have led you to behave in ways that may damage your future. You do need to understand… but at some point, the blame game still has to stop.
“I took some behavior classes in school. That doesn’t make me an expert, but it does allow me to form an opinion.”
You are welcome to your opinion regardless. I highly doubt these “behavior classes” used the word asshole to describe people. Any time I hear someone using that word regularly to generalize and label other people, I find I have a difficult time taking them seriously. Those I’ve met (in real life) who are most in love with using that word to describe others—especially children—tend to have serious self-image and mental issue. I have no idea if you do or not (you may be a very nice person in real life who uses the internet to vent), but that is the picture you are painting when you keep overusing the word “asshole” as you have been.
No.
Asshole is a perfectly cromulent word for describing certain types of people.
Another thing about Christmas is treating it like you have to be better behaved than the rest of the year. Silly. I expect my kid to be an overall good person all year around. However, most *adults* aren’t perfect during the holidays. Our schedules are thrown off, there’s usually stress from family and insecurities and we are tired. It’s not completely fair to expect children to be much better behaved this time of year (or at least be better behaved than they are the rest of the year).
Once again, it’s not that you don’t hold your child accountable, but it’s not a good idea drag the holidays into it unless you are telling them “Hey, today is special, and we need to do our best to make it happy together.”
I am an introvert by nature, I don’t spend a great deal of time with anyone year around. But I do try and be on my best behavior when I am with my family on the holidays.
This can be particularly hard for me, as I am a very direct person and when someone is being a douche, I generally tell them so. My sister is married, had twins and is VERY happy, but I can’t stand her husband, he’s a real prick. During the holidays I try my best not to let him get to me, copious amounts of booze helps with that.
The holidays can be rough and stressful, as well as the extra added expectations added on to it. We don’t need human drama adding on to that problem as well.
Still, it’s important not to allow people to think it’s acceptable to behave in such fashions. I was actually completely disconnected from my sister for two years because of her husband’s behavior, up until the point my Mother begged me to be the bigger person, since she wanted to see her entire family.
Since then, my brother in law has behaved better, but he still has his moments where I just want to bash him in the face with the nearest dense object.
Coal or Krampus….*Insert why not both taco girl commercial here*
Does the second one really count? I feel like, because she came clean a few seconds later(abit nudged with a dadglare), that one doesn’t have to count.
I’m all for Todd’s parenting here, I’m just wondering if it would be better to reward coming clean.