Does he even know why she wants to talk with Scar? Sure, there are assumptions as to why, but it could be for a different reason than he is assuming.
Another conversation he should probably have with her along with a Sarnothi that understands their culture that he trusts (after talking to that Sarnothi along first), is what the cultural expectations her people will try to put on her if she gets too involved with them. We know that clans had expectations and were not expected to deviate from them. It would be a good idea before she gets too integrated with the culture of the Sarnothi diaspora to know what complications could arise from that. So far, it has just mostly been her finally learn about her own people and their culture, but we the readers know that there could be a dark side to that.
It appears to me now that there might be several reasons why her mom wanted her to be with humans rather than with other Sarnothi. There is the obvious her mom being a famous war veteran (for lack of a better term that I can think of) and being an echo. We also thought that it was due to her mothers clan (and their destruction), but now knowing that Selkie is obviously from two clans to Sarnothi eyes, makes a huge difference. Other “outcast” Sarnothi might accept a child Jin’Sorai, but a mix of two clans that is “just not done” might be a line too far for many.
At the very least, its a pretty good guess that she has questions. Which ones will depend on how she feels about it, but I’m sure some of them will be the same Amanda asked Andi.
I would think that as a child of adoption, Todd would not have that idiotic insecurity.
If he wants to run into his “birth parents”, does he think that he would choose them over Theo and Marie?
If – and this is a big IF because while there’s been lots of assumption there has been no statement of fact – Scar was to turn out to be the guy that impregnated Selkie’s mother, that would change nothing. Todd is her father. Scar would just be the guy that got her mother pregnant.
Even if the chance of something happening is low, you can still legitimately be nervous about it if the consequences if it did happen would be serious enough. Improbable doesn’t mean impossible, after all.
Being the child of adoption might even be the reason for his insecurity. My Dad was taken from his bio parents at age 2 because of extremely poor living conditions, and went to live with a foster couple who became my true grandparents on that side. In the interim, though, his bio-mom came back and tried to sell my Dad on the idea of living with her again and having a pony. Dad, being a dumb kid, was totally into the idea; and while Thank God he never went back to her (one of my aunts was less lucky), it still caused a rift in his adopted family. So yeah, Todd’s concerns about Selfie choosing Scar are Valid, even if an adult wouldn’t make the same choices.
We have no indication so far that Todd’s bio parents wanted him back. He’s a grown-up now; but if they popped up in his adoptive home when he was a kid, his reaction might have been different.
Now Selkie’s bio dad makes an appearance and wants to make amends. That’s… hard to ignore if you’re a kid. It’s also a lot harder to ignore that he tried to sell out her mom, so I wouldn’t worry about Scar.
But one thing I see not really dealt with in this comic, is that Selkie’s mother is VERY MUCH ALIVE. Unlike Scar, Selkie both remembers her and loves her deeply. The Sarnothi are in turmoil *now*, but what will happen when peace is reached in a few years and she clears her name?
She will come back for her child, now able to offer Nei Li the stability a child needs. And more importantly, regardless of Todd being Selkie’s legal guardian in the eyes of the state, *Selkie will want her mom back*. And Todd will grant her wish because he loves her and wants her happy.
Theoretically, the mom might be too war-PTSDed to be a suitable parent anymore, but that would be really sad and I wish this matter would ahve a different resolution.
TLDR: It’s Selkie’s bio mom Todd should worry about, not her bio dad.
You’re right. I had forgotten that she spoke with someone on the phone and was curt and disinterested.
To be fair, I suppose dedicating her life to make sure the world is a safe enough place for her daughter to live counts as caring. She may also think Nei Li no longer wants anything to do with her, or she may not want to uproot Nei Li’s life just as she found a home, or she may deem herself a failure as a parent.
I don’t think it’s the same. Scar is already part of Selkie’s life, she implicitly inherited his Echo abilities as part of her own (although Amanda’s deal make that suspect), Scar most likely didn’t have a choice in her surrender, and there are multiple cultural forces that want her to fulfill a certain Sarnothi role. In Todd’s case, there’s a lot of legal precedent giving his adoptive parents authority, especially since he has some sort of documented abuse or neglect from prior to his adoption. However, Sarnoth is in uncharted waters. What if Sarnothi law or custom considers Scar to have more authority? Plus, even if Todd has legal rights, he could still be worried about Selkie connecting with Scar and being more emotionally close with Scar than him.
iirc Todd also doesn’t have positive memories/interactions with his biological parents, especially considering how his path mirrors Amanda’s, who we know faced abuse. Scar is complicated and scary, and has History, but he’s also been kind and protective to Selkie, and a teacher. (and that History may well be less obvious to a child, in Todd’s eyes) Insecurity and anxiety isn’t rational, but theres usually a kind of logic to it
Not going to happen, Todd.
It’s understandable that the worry would pass through his head, but never going to happen. Hell, Selkie mentioned just pages ago about Todd being the one who wanted her in life.
Fun fact there, Toddy boy, they’re all technically killers. Predators at the very least, and Selkie isn’t different just because she was raised on land. Rose colored glasses mein freund.
…wait, is the whole reason Selkie burnt her hair off and had to get a buzzcut just so there could be this family resemblance from behind when we got to this point?
A quick reminder of one of the biggest lessons I believe this comic is teaching.
And Dave, I hope you thank me if you use the line.
The closest of family is rarely blood.
I was taught this by my stepfather who helped raise me and teach me what it means to be a man. That’s the type of man I see Todd as at the end of the day, maybe less than ideal in some areas but when it comes to his heart and his actions he is what Selkie always needed, a true father.
Did Scar provide his genetics? Perhaps, but to my understanding he never even knew Selkie existed until she met him a decade after her birth. Legally he has no right to her and spiritually he has no right to her.
I understand why Todd feels insecure as I have felt some of those same insecurities as a father to my son. Worrying that I’m not doing enough for him, worrying about not being there for him. For not being involved enough with his life due to my work schedule. However I don’t think Todd has a single thing to worry about as he is who Selkie sees as her Dad. Just one suggestion for him as Selkie goes into puberty. Invest in meditation classes, he is gonna need the patience.
Selkie isn’t going to choose a weird stranger over the one person who chose to make her family and gave her happiness. I doubt Selkie would choose to move in with her own mother at this point.
She won’t, Todd. She’s spent several years now, at least, getting you trained. She won’t walk away from that, especially for taking on a new training task now that she knows how difficult it is.
Does he even know why she wants to talk with Scar? Sure, there are assumptions as to why, but it could be for a different reason than he is assuming.
Another conversation he should probably have with her along with a Sarnothi that understands their culture that he trusts (after talking to that Sarnothi along first), is what the cultural expectations her people will try to put on her if she gets too involved with them. We know that clans had expectations and were not expected to deviate from them. It would be a good idea before she gets too integrated with the culture of the Sarnothi diaspora to know what complications could arise from that. So far, it has just mostly been her finally learn about her own people and their culture, but we the readers know that there could be a dark side to that.
It appears to me now that there might be several reasons why her mom wanted her to be with humans rather than with other Sarnothi. There is the obvious her mom being a famous war veteran (for lack of a better term that I can think of) and being an echo. We also thought that it was due to her mothers clan (and their destruction), but now knowing that Selkie is obviously from two clans to Sarnothi eyes, makes a huge difference. Other “outcast” Sarnothi might accept a child Jin’Sorai, but a mix of two clans that is “just not done” might be a line too far for many.
At the very least, its a pretty good guess that she has questions. Which ones will depend on how she feels about it, but I’m sure some of them will be the same Amanda asked Andi.
All perfectly valid emotions to feel. And which you have other people in your life that can relate to them. Time to talk to dad, Todd!
I would think that as a child of adoption, Todd would not have that idiotic insecurity.
If he wants to run into his “birth parents”, does he think that he would choose them over Theo and Marie?
If – and this is a big IF because while there’s been lots of assumption there has been no statement of fact – Scar was to turn out to be the guy that impregnated Selkie’s mother, that would change nothing. Todd is her father. Scar would just be the guy that got her mother pregnant.
insecurity doesn’t really follow rules of probability
Even if the chance of something happening is low, you can still legitimately be nervous about it if the consequences if it did happen would be serious enough. Improbable doesn’t mean impossible, after all.
Being the child of adoption might even be the reason for his insecurity. My Dad was taken from his bio parents at age 2 because of extremely poor living conditions, and went to live with a foster couple who became my true grandparents on that side. In the interim, though, his bio-mom came back and tried to sell my Dad on the idea of living with her again and having a pony. Dad, being a dumb kid, was totally into the idea; and while Thank God he never went back to her (one of my aunts was less lucky), it still caused a rift in his adopted family. So yeah, Todd’s concerns about Selfie choosing Scar are Valid, even if an adult wouldn’t make the same choices.
We have no indication so far that Todd’s bio parents wanted him back. He’s a grown-up now; but if they popped up in his adoptive home when he was a kid, his reaction might have been different.
Now Selkie’s bio dad makes an appearance and wants to make amends. That’s… hard to ignore if you’re a kid. It’s also a lot harder to ignore that he tried to sell out her mom, so I wouldn’t worry about Scar.
But one thing I see not really dealt with in this comic, is that Selkie’s mother is VERY MUCH ALIVE. Unlike Scar, Selkie both remembers her and loves her deeply. The Sarnothi are in turmoil *now*, but what will happen when peace is reached in a few years and she clears her name?
She will come back for her child, now able to offer Nei Li the stability a child needs. And more importantly, regardless of Todd being Selkie’s legal guardian in the eyes of the state, *Selkie will want her mom back*. And Todd will grant her wish because he loves her and wants her happy.
Theoretically, the mom might be too war-PTSDed to be a suitable parent anymore, but that would be really sad and I wish this matter would ahve a different resolution.
TLDR: It’s Selkie’s bio mom Todd should worry about, not her bio dad.
Excellent points, though I question whether Plot Quar actually wants Selkie back. She seems disinterested even in updates on Selkie’s well-being.
You’re right. I had forgotten that she spoke with someone on the phone and was curt and disinterested.
To be fair, I suppose dedicating her life to make sure the world is a safe enough place for her daughter to live counts as caring. She may also think Nei Li no longer wants anything to do with her, or she may not want to uproot Nei Li’s life just as she found a home, or she may deem herself a failure as a parent.
I don’t think it’s the same. Scar is already part of Selkie’s life, she implicitly inherited his Echo abilities as part of her own (although Amanda’s deal make that suspect), Scar most likely didn’t have a choice in her surrender, and there are multiple cultural forces that want her to fulfill a certain Sarnothi role. In Todd’s case, there’s a lot of legal precedent giving his adoptive parents authority, especially since he has some sort of documented abuse or neglect from prior to his adoption. However, Sarnoth is in uncharted waters. What if Sarnothi law or custom considers Scar to have more authority? Plus, even if Todd has legal rights, he could still be worried about Selkie connecting with Scar and being more emotionally close with Scar than him.
Poor Todd, to have adopted a war baby.
iirc Todd also doesn’t have positive memories/interactions with his biological parents, especially considering how his path mirrors Amanda’s, who we know faced abuse. Scar is complicated and scary, and has History, but he’s also been kind and protective to Selkie, and a teacher. (and that History may well be less obvious to a child, in Todd’s eyes) Insecurity and anxiety isn’t rational, but theres usually a kind of logic to it
Scar wasn’t a killer, he was a trafficker.
The people he trafficked never came back.
Pretty sure he also killed.
Understandable that he would have that worry, but if he thinks it through, or talks it over with his own parents, he’ll get past it.
Not going to happen, Todd.
It’s understandable that the worry would pass through his head, but never going to happen. Hell, Selkie mentioned just pages ago about Todd being the one who wanted her in life.
Todd should know that’s not how adoption works, there is no “choice” to be made. It is very unlikely Scar would be able to sue for custody.
“I have stood next to death, and people liked him better.” Dan Fielding, “Night Court.”
Oh, Todd. She’s already said that “Dad here was the only one who wanted me.”
She wants answers but there’s zero chance she’s choosing Scar over Todd.
Love that Todd’s angry/scared/irrationally-afraid-of-rejection face is almost exactly the same as Amanda’s.
Fun fact there, Toddy boy, they’re all technically killers. Predators at the very least, and Selkie isn’t different just because she was raised on land. Rose colored glasses mein freund.
…wait, is the whole reason Selkie burnt her hair off and had to get a buzzcut just so there could be this family resemblance from behind when we got to this point?
A quick reminder of one of the biggest lessons I believe this comic is teaching.
And Dave, I hope you thank me if you use the line.
The closest of family is rarely blood.
I was taught this by my stepfather who helped raise me and teach me what it means to be a man. That’s the type of man I see Todd as at the end of the day, maybe less than ideal in some areas but when it comes to his heart and his actions he is what Selkie always needed, a true father.
Did Scar provide his genetics? Perhaps, but to my understanding he never even knew Selkie existed until she met him a decade after her birth. Legally he has no right to her and spiritually he has no right to her.
I understand why Todd feels insecure as I have felt some of those same insecurities as a father to my son. Worrying that I’m not doing enough for him, worrying about not being there for him. For not being involved enough with his life due to my work schedule. However I don’t think Todd has a single thing to worry about as he is who Selkie sees as her Dad. Just one suggestion for him as Selkie goes into puberty. Invest in meditation classes, he is gonna need the patience.
Selkie isn’t going to choose a weird stranger over the one person who chose to make her family and gave her happiness. I doubt Selkie would choose to move in with her own mother at this point.
Dormant abandonment issues kicking in.
She won’t, Todd. She’s spent several years now, at least, getting you trained. She won’t walk away from that, especially for taking on a new training task now that she knows how difficult it is.
In comic time, it hasn’t been a calendar year yet, I don’t think. A school year, yes, but I think this is still the first summer vacation together.