Got a friend to assist with the Chinese dialogue, since I don’t trust Google with english-to-asian language translations, but as always open to suggestions if it needs polishing.

Translation in the transcript, if you wish it.

↓ Transcript
TODD: Thank you for bringing the kids. Do you need help with them?

LILLIAN: No, I do not.

LILLIAN (VO): I brought an assistant with me.

TODD: Assistant?

LIANG (VO): She NEEDS one!

LIANG: She breaks her back taking work she cannot handle!

LILLIAN: I handle it perfectly well, thank you.

LIANG [Chinese]: Lillian my dear, your kind heart is the only thing taller than you.

LILLIAN [Chinese]: Liang, I'm so tall only because I have your support.

LIANG [Chinese]: Ah? Are you calling me a step stool?

LILLIAN [Chinese]: Yes, but you are MY step-stool.

SELKIE: Hi, Mister Zhang! What were you saying?

LIANG: I was saying "nosy birthday girls lose their gifts".

SELKIE: Hee hee. I missed you, too.

Today's edition of the Secret Commentary is empty, because Dave failed to come up with something for it.