Brainslip
↓ Transcript
SELKIE: Sos... people say mean things to you... buts it's funny?
TODD: Selkie, do you remember the times we've talked about not letting insults get to you? It's like that.
SELKIE: Likes when people call me names.
AMANDA: Who's been calling you names?
[A silent "are you serious?" moment ensues between the sisters.]
AMANDA: Oh...
SELKIE: "FISH FACE!"
AMANDA: Aaaargh! One or twenty times, I said that.
TODD: Selkie, do you remember the times we've talked about not letting insults get to you? It's like that.
SELKIE: Likes when people call me names.
AMANDA: Who's been calling you names?
[A silent "are you serious?" moment ensues between the sisters.]
AMANDA: Oh...
SELKIE: "FISH FACE!"
AMANDA: Aaaargh! One or twenty times, I said that.
Amanda did a klonk
Selkie said “I know you lyin….”
OMG, Amanda actually recognizes that what she used to call Selkie was actually name calling! This is a great amount of progress!
One of the things for those who have been picked on is for their bullies to realize that what they did really hurt their victims. As a kid, I was bullied a lot but over the years as I was growing up, I stopped letting it bother me and that helped as they realized I wasn’t a fun target anymore.
Fast forward about 30ish years, I ran into one of those bullies, though I had long since treated him kindly and he the same. He had seen I had done a favor for a group of friends that we were both acquainted with (DD for them when they went to a beer tasting) and wanted to say that was a standup thing I had done. He then said to me that over the years, he felt guilty about how he had treated me in school and wanted to apologize for it.
I was stunned. I mean, it was so long ago, I had put it out of my mind. Immediately, I told him he was forgiven and that I held no hard feelings about it. I could tell he was extremely relieved that I had forgiven him. We chatted for a little more before parting ways, not realizing until a little later how a little weight had come off my shoulders and a realization how much weight I must have taken off his shoulders just by saying “I forgive you.”
For those who bullied, doesn’t matter how long ago it was, if you still feel bad about it, it is never too late to apologize. For those who were bullied and they come to apologize, like Elisa said, “Let it go!” and forgive them.
Never forgive a slight. Never forgive the bullies. Hold on to your hate. Hate DOES make you strong And allows you to do evil when necessary.
the ability to do evil only makes you weak. If you only have a hammer at your disposal, every problem starts to look like a nail. Hate makes you weak, and pliant. If something can affect your mood, you can be SO easily manipulated.
I 100% agree with you Joe
I decide whether or not I want to forgive them. Forgiving them means that their actions were excusable, and they are not.
Forgiveness means different things to different people.
To me, forgiving someone means you stop being controlled by the memory of their actions. You let it go and move on. It says nothing about whether or not their actions were excusable, just that it’s no longer your burden to bear.
No.
Hate only makes more hate.
RIGHTEOUS Anger is one thing, as long as it is ACTUALLY righteous. Hatred… is only hatred, and nothing more. It only makes you no better than the other filthy smelly bigot hating on you.
“Yesssss … yessss … and then come take your father’s place by my side!”
(ahem)
Not always. Some bullies bully because it makes them feel good to hurt other people. Because they can get away with it. Because they have been taught that is the natural order of things. If the victim cannot defend themselves, it’s on them and not on the bully.
I agree with the first part of your statement, which is why anti-bullying education is so important, to counteract that ‘teaching’ that the natural order of things is for the strong to prey on the weak. Because it’s not the natural order of things, not for humans or any other pack animal. I mean, look around. 90% of our society is cooperation, organization, protecting each other. That wasn’t imposed on us by any outside force, we did that ourselves, because it’s in our nature. Exactly how far would we have gotten as a species if the majority of people were more interested in hurting each other than building things? The people who go around hurting others for fun are throwbacks to before we were humans.
Which is why if a kid gets beaten up by someone twice their size, it’s not their fault. It’s the fault of the bully and the fault of everyone around them who fails at acting as a group to prevent and correct it.
Our primate relatives do a lot of what sure looks like bullying.
Your story made my day and also gave me relief. I think if I met by childhood bullies and they acted as if nothing was wrong (and I don’t mean them saying ‘hi, how are you’, but them saying ‘heyyy we haven’t caught up for so long, I’ve missed you’) I would be doubly hurt. It’s a huge relief to see people grow up and mature. Thank you for sharing.
Yean so my Mother was horribly bullied in school, she was fat and on top of it she had large breasts and not only did they bully her about their weight, but they’d also just grab her whenever they felt like it.
And of course, this was during a era in which boys will be boys was considered an acceptable response from parents and the school alike.
Well one day I was with her grocery shopping and there was this dude with his wife shopping. He stops, looks at her, recognizes her and then acts like they are friends.
She stops, looks at him and responds with, “I don’t know why you are acting like we are friends, you bullied me, terrorized me, beat me up and groped me in school. I almost killed myself several times because of you.”
His wife looks at him disgusted and says, “I can’t believe this! Did you really bully this poor woman in school? What the hell was wrong with you?!”
At this point the guy is basically stammering and we walk away and you can hear this woman berating her husband about his shitty past behvaior.
My Mother is in her sixties. She can still remember the pain from childhood bullying. That’s probably why my Mother raised her kids to say something when they see stuff like that.
Good for her.
I found out at my 40th high school reunion that most (all?) of those people had grown up. Who knew, right?
Third panel; I read that and thought that Amanda was gonna ask for a list of names, so she could “stop that” from happening. Oh, how panel five hurts, “face plant.” That moment when you realize, the problem you wanna fix, is you… ouch.
Well played, girls. Both of you.
aahhh but siblings are allowed to call you names. I can call my brother Bundle of sticks ( tell him that it’s his Indian name) But if anyone ELSE does it I get to hit them.. with a sledgehammer. I’ve done it before. He knows what I did to the guy that date raped him…
That escalated quickly
Aww, character growth! Love it! The thing about this comic that makes me come back for more is how the characters change and grow.
And since we’re all talking about bullying, I was badly bullied, like several other readers. I think the other side of the coin of forgiveness, is “well, forget you,” and that works too. But if someone was putting in the amount of effort that Amanda has to change their ways, I think I’d find myself capable of forgiveness. Especially as I get older and I see: A troubled kid lashing out. Kids becoming a bullies to save themselves from being bullied. Former bullies like Amanda can grow up to be decent people
Too Nullum; I have personally never encountered the type of person who refers to anyone who is progressive as an SJW, the closest that I came to was this crazy guy who was just using it against the person he was in a feud with because they were trans in order to justify his platform. I talked to the second person and apparently they hate sjws too, and apparently had no problem with the term. So as far as I’ve seen whole “progressive people are sjws” thing is just a rumor spread by sjws who are using it as a tactic against people who speak out against them.
When did Amanda last call Selkie Fish Face?