Some comforting thoughts.
I don't normally like over-explaining myself about the comics, but after the commentary on the previous strip I feel I may need to speak a bit more directly than normal about the current scene. and Selkie's rapid calm-down. Todd, in previous times of crisis with Selkie, has not hesitated to Papa Wolf onto people. He's passionate about doing right by his daughter and defending her from attack. That hasn't changed, and Selkie trusts him when he says he'll take care of things and make everything better because he has generally done that in the past. So, she trusts him to fix everything. Although I don't think Todd and Selkie would agree on methodology.
Annnnnnnd Selkie might need to see a therapist right alongside Amanda… Is… is Todd pusing Amanda down stairs? I dunno why, but that’s what that image makes me think of. Pushing Amanda down a flight of stairs. O_o;;
I’m a little more concerned about the one of Amanda being burned at the stake. O___o”’
As someone who was seriously bullied at school to the point where I needed therapy as an adult to be able to trust people again, I’d say burning bullies at the stake would be an appropriate punishment.
Mind you, I’ve mellowed to the point where I would allow them to be put into a medically-induced coma first. Screaming noises could come from a recording.
I’m not saying it’s completely uncalled for, far from. Oh the things I wished would happen to the tormentors from my past… makes Selkie’s visions look pretty tame. Therapy did work wonders for me at age 15 as well, so I know where you’re coming from there.
Eh… I remember when I was around 8 or 9. I would do superhero drawings of me and my friends doing amazing things… usually to the mean kids who bullied us.
I didn’t even remember I did that until I saw the crayon/marker style drawing in Selkie’s fantasy.
I am not too concerned, there is a distance between fantasy and action.
I’m concerned about the pushing as well because Selkie KNOWS that Amanda was abused in her first adoptive home. Talk about trying to hit trigger points. I think some single and paired therapy might work wonders for both of them with the right therapist team. I’ve known great therapists and I’ve known ones that seemed more interested in fruit ninja than me. Maybe Lillian can recommend a family therapist team.
Selkie can clearly be very vindictive and downright spiteful, something Todd has failed to notice. It’s something that could cause a lot of trouble for her later on. I wish Todd would talk to her more. And yeah, she’s very aware that Amanda’s previous family shunned her for the ‘sweet’ children and called her bad and made her ‘go away forever’ from their perfect little family… not to mention being aware of the abuse. She may not be fully aware that she’s wishing the same hurt on Amanda again, but with Todd this time. She’s just insanely jealous of the prospect of sharing what she deems hers. Which Todd is now aware of and seemingly ignored…
Vindictive and spiteful? You mean like the time she decided to give an olive branch to Tommy/Tank with the whole “we cant friends, but I wont hate you”
I don’t know, I think a lot of people expect adult behavior from a child. I think one of the reasons why we all love this so much is because Dave characterizes children so well.
One of these days I would love to learn more of his inspiration and such (if he hasn’t already discussed it)
Yes how dare she not be nice to someone who made her feel so disgusting that she shouldn’t be alive. Selkie is a child. Amanda destroyed her self confidence and self worth. I’m not saying she deserves to be harmed but I so believe she deserves a punishment for tormenting Selkie so friggin much.
I never said Selkie had to be nice to her. But wishing she was killed is a bit much. And yes, she’s wishing death on Amanda, she’s not an idiot, she’s well aware what burning at the stake means. Plus, she’s still very clearly being selfish with Todd. She seems to be more angry at the fact that Amanda spends time with Todd versus the actual bullying. She very much wants Todd to disown and reject Amanda.
I’d say that merits at the very least an insightful talk from Todd about how wishing death on someone isn’t a healthy thing to do and that Todd is a person, not a possession. Let’s not forget Amanda is also a child and she never receives such free passes in the comments. When Amanda had her crayon drawing about the ‘other princess’ and ‘stupid king’ people called Amanda horrid for it even though she was also clearly just jealous over Selkie. Amanda at least begrudgingly acknowledges that Selkie is Todd’s ‘other kid’ even if she hates it, she knows she can’t simply force Todd to give Selkie back.
Selkie, on the other hand, very much wants Todd to just abandon Amanda and doesn’t acknowledge that Amanda is his child. Amanda is still a vindictive brat, but she’s never wanted Selkie to die, as far as we know anyway.
I really doubt she wishes violence and torture on Amanda. She’s young, and while she may not be unintelligent–she has never, as far as we have seen, experienced death within her life outside of children’s stories. It’s not within her reality, she doesn’t dwell upon it often (or ever?).
I doubt just about any child has ever said “I wish you were dead!” and actually meant it with the magnitude of adult understanding. 99.9% of the time they honestly just mean “I wish you weren’t here and you couldn’t do anything to me”.
In those children’s’ stories, when witches are burned or dragons are slain, death is glossed over and painted very prettily as “they just weren’t there anymore”. So when she imagines Amanda, the apparent villain to Selkie’s storybook protagonist, being hurt or pushed away or “killed”, she isn’t having heavy, gory, violent murder fantasies.
She is simply wishing for Amanda to be removed from the situation (yes, in a way that is unpleasant to Amanda, I understand that), which, in her situation, is extremely understandable.
Given her and Selkie’s previous relationship at the orphanage, I believe Todd is being extremely naive and way too optimistic about how easily their relationship would improve. More than just talking to them, a family therapist for the two of them would be an amazing thing. This is already turning out to be a massive (and messy) transition in their family life that Todd and Andi may very well be unequipped to handle.
And while it’s not okay for her to say “I wish you were dead”, just like we teach kids not to say “I hate you”– every child I have ever met hasn’t honestly meant it, it’s just the only way they find to express themselves that actually conveys what they want.
“I hate you” generally being “I’m really mad/frustrated at you right now, I think you’re being unfair, this entire situation sucks”
and “I wish you were dead” meaning “I wish you were gone, you are making me mad or hurting me in some way and I have no other way to make you stop”
That aside, Amanda is on another side of the fence from Selkie. She barely knows Todd, and so far hasn’t really formed a bond with him like she has with Andi. She has no inclination to be possessive of him yet, and so her feelings toward him having another child are bound to be different. Not to mention Selkie’s current aggravation was stirred up very recently, at the hands of Amanda being generally bratty to Selkie during her recent stay. At the end of which Selkie DID call Amanda her sister, so she has come to pretty solid terms with the fact that Todd has another child. Part of her fantasy is him /protecting/ her though, not just choosing her over Amanda, but actively discouraging Amanda’s terrible behavior toward Selkie.
Telling a kid not to be jealous or frustrated doesn’t really work, and just explaining the facts of the situation & expecting her to adjust her thought and behavior accordingly while she’s still being antagonized would be about the same. Amanda was and still tends to be a bully to Selkie–which is part of why Selkie’s reacting so harshly in the first place.
And to kinda top it all off, this is just in Selkie’s imagination. There’s no one she’s expressed this to, so there’s really no one to talk with her about it or correct her.
Imagining bad things happening to an enemy is completely normal behavior, especially for children. But when push comes to shove (pun fully intended) Selkie wouldn’t actually do any of that to Amanda, nor do I think she’d actually be happy if it did happen.
That’s true. There’s a huge difference between imagining bad things happening to people and actually doing those things to people.
I don’t think Selkie knows the extent of what happened to Amanda. All she knows is she was given back to the orphanage because ‘they had real kids who didn’t like her’.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie237/
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie238/
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie239/
I believe those strips are the extent of what Selkie knows about Amanda’s life before the orphanage. Although Amanda’s story she wrote about alludes to her past abuse, not a lot of kids would be able to read between the lines and see that she was writing about herself. They just thought it was a bad story:
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie596/
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie597/
I don’t think that at this point Selkie cares about the tragic backstory of the person who has been bullying and tormenting her for years.
As far as she’s concerned, the main big important thing is for Amanda no longer to be in a position where she can do so with impunity. Everything else is secondary.
Oh, I think all of them (including Todd and Andi) should, but not for the things Selkie’s imagining (they are normal for kid). This is exactly a situation a family therapist should exist. It’s one hell of a transition for everyone and there are so many layers of a history of hurt and abuse directly and indirectly wrapped into it.
Let’s look at Todd, for instance. He’s the healthiest of the group and has had the best support system, but he had been severely abused as a kid and then finds out his ex lied to him about them having a baby only for her to have been abused and she appears the age he was when he was adopted. That makes for a very mentally difficult time for him. Then there is Andi who is still emotionally abused by her mother—though she is pulling out of it on her own which is impressive but a therapist would still be really key in navigating her through that. It’s not that people can’t do that on their own, but it’s really hard if you don’t have someone level-headed helping you through it and most people (not even friends or lovers) are rarely equipped to take on that kind of heavy baggage. And (from what we have seen) Andi doesn’t appear to have either of those in her life. Not even a kind aunt. No one but her and Amanda—who she has to take care of.
It depends on the family therapist. After my grandmother died we went to see a family therapist once a week. Mom cancelled the rest of the meetings a month in because he was putting everything on me and I was shutting down more. Yes, get a family therapist to help with the transition but get one that is going to play neutral party and not pick sides.
As I believe I’ve said a number of times before in these comments: don’t hold your breath waiting for any sort of therapist to enter the story. In real life, yes, that would be a sensible thing to do (provided, as GallowsNoose says, that it was a good family therapist – a bad one can do a lot of damage). And therapy does exist as a concept in Dave’s world; Truck went for counseling and it helped him.
But Truck was a minor character. In his case, off-stage therapy was a way to wrap up his plot arc quickly and simply, implying improved attitudes and better future conduct without having to go into a lot of details.
Selkie and Amanda aren’t so lucky. They are major characters. Don’t ever wish to be the protagonist of a good story: the writer won’t give you any easy ways out of the problems the plot drops on you! Readers need to see you struggle with them. The only help you’ll get will be from characters who are already part of the plot. Though, likewise, if the writer’s good, the complications you run into will also be inherent. There will be no magic therapists to resolve all your issues (unless it’s been clearly signaled from the beginning that your story is about therapy), but likewise (unless it’s a Roadrunner sort of story) no random pianos will drop on you out of a clear blue sky.
The therapist might need a therapist after treating Selkie…
Ok, just kidding. Selkie’s imagination appears fine. Sense of proportions will come with age. Most importantly, she’s shown the ability to forgive if apologized sincerely.
Selkie I believe you are in for a let down.
I hope things get addressed and Andi and Todd take the time to sit down with Amanda and actually talk to her while Selkie is not around. From what I’ve seen so far any time Todd or Andi “addresses” the issue of bullying Selkie is there as well.
I feel bad for Selkie, no way she won’t end up disappointed with what actually happens.
Yeeeeaaap I thought as much.
Todd’s Brain: “Oh thank goodness she took that well. Maybe there’s hope we can all come to an understanding…”
Selkie’s Brain: “Gleeheeheehee! SIC ‘EM, DADS!!!”
Haha, how cute are kids?
Okay. So that explains why she was so calm. And she definitely needs to talk to someone about this. 😐
Q for Selkie: Selkie, how do you know she’s a witch? Have you seen her float or sink in water? No! Therefore yu do not know she is a witch.
And just before you start throwing your Sarnothi magic spells around, you may wish to look in the mirror, hon. You’re not wearing a false nose, but watch those magic powers. You might weigh as much as a Duck!
Soooo….
1) Selkie knows Todd has no idea about the bullying because she’s deliberately kept it from him.
2) Todd literally said nothing, at all, to hint at this being a possibility, as a matter of fact, he seemed to *split* responsibility for the abuse between the two girls, hence the outcry over the last strip.
3) The typical response to a bullying victim learning someone is going to raise the behaviour with the bully’s parents/superior/authority figures is abject terror that they will not be believed/it will be brushed off and dismissed and the situation will get worse, not gleeful revenge fantasies. The terror response is doubly likely for Selkie given how many adults have seen the behaviour and done the square root of jack shit to address it.
….but this is supposed to be the internal workings Selkie’s got going on and we’re supposed to believe it?
I’m just going to stop commenting, I think. I have nothing good to say, and it can’t be fun for other readers to see me grousing in the comments, never mind comfortable for Dave. Shutting up.
Helbling, you raise some valid points although I respectfully disagree with them.
1) I’m under the impression that Todd knows their overall history, and from Selkie’s 9yo perspective, it should therefore be obvious to Todd that Amanda is”evil” without her needing to spell it out. To her, it probably seems obvious enough.
2) True, actually. No argument here.
3) However, as Dave pointed out, Todd has taken Selkie’s side before. I think she has no reason to fear being disbelieved, and if Amanda tries to get revenge, then Todd could just forbid her from coming over. So while your point here might be true enough on average, I think this individual case is an exception.
But then, I could be wrong too. 🙂
Dave, I would really, really like to be able to keep Adblocker off for your site, but just today when I was playing catch-up (the last 5 strips or so), opening Selkie pages caused my browser to freeze up 3 times because of an ad that wouldn’t load properly.
I can’t point out the ads that were the problem as they never did load up, and apparently you don’t recognize the sources for those ads (latest freeze-up did give the source it was loading data from as c1.adform.net), but on the bright side at least one such problematic thing was caught before it froze everything, because it tried to use Flash, which I’ve set as needing permission for websites to use.
So I’m now at the point where I, when opening a Selkie page, hit the “stop” as soon as the comic page starts to load, which works most times, as most ads won’t have had time to load. This of course means I won’t see the ads anyway, so I would save a lot of gray hairs just by using the Adblocker… which I’m reluctant to do, because I know you need ad views to support the site. 🙁
How much revenue do you usually get from 1 pageview by 1 person? Set up a paypal pay thing and I’ll pay you 6 months’ worth of my views of the comic and then put Adblocker on. 😛
I’m on Selkie’s side here.
Physical harm aside (not wishing that on anyone) I hope, otherwise I agree. 😀
Amanda shouldn’t be left anywhere near Selkie till she apologizes and shows a real desire to be a good kid from now on.
Dave> You did just right, by both the comments and the flow of the strip, in my opinion. Selkie is acting like a sentient carnivore who loves her adopted dad and trusts him:) He is acting like any guy would in his situation. The train collision may not be as brutal as some others but we are certain that some let-downs may occur:) It’s natural. It’s life. Selkie is in a position where she feels there are none left for her and, sadly, may learn this is not the case.
Real talk, bruh! If you were a child and never once wished harm or doom on anyone in a fit of emotion you might not be human. Selkie isn’t a disturbed kid pondering murder in her diary or on her blog. These are thoughts, a great many of which aren’t solicited and can’t be controlled, and thus can’t be considered “wrong” to have. The “wrong” comes about by acting on or maybe even to some extent encouraging and indulging excessively in those passing thoughts, or so think I.
Ah children’s fantasies, such lofty expectations, and the sad letdowns of reality. I’m glad Tom is trying to get everyone on the same page without throwing around accusations. I can understand Selkie’s sense of justice of wanting others to acknowledge her pain and in the case of her fantasy experience it. She has felt like an outcast or pariah her whole life with Amanda being the forefront of reenforcing her of that fact and when she finds someone who does accept and support her she feels the experience is short lived when her nemesis/rival is now even closer and in Selkie’s perspective, stealing her support system. Tom is trying to stabilize the foundation for everyone.
On a minor note — people keep saying the kids are 9. I’m pretty sure they’re 8.
If they started Kindergarten at the customary age of 5, they’d be 8 when entering 3rd grade; and Selkie, at least, won’t have a birthday until the comic’s timeframe reaches May. I think the only time “9 years” has been referenced in the comic was in reference to when Andi learned she was pregnant, several months before the birth.