I actually just read a story about this, Sam. 78%of women preferred to be kissed spontaneously and did not want to be asked for a kiss. 45% of those women said that asking is a turn off. 10% preferred to be asked. The last 12% didn’t care. Honestly, lots of women like the pressure off and therfore prefer to be taken by surprise and the “screw it” shows a lot of confident, actually. If that same situation happened to me (in a more appropriate song than an elementary school where I could be in trouble for dating a parent and/or the unprofessional behavior in front of students and the parents) I’d love that. In fact, I’d far prefer it be spontaneous and a surprise. Remember, she picked out and intimate cafe and is probably not dense. Women know when men like them far more often than not. So while the timing would have been a complete surprise, the actual kids should have been expected and either encouraged or discouraged based on her feelings. She approached him to compliment him on a good performance (usually the highest valued compliment to men) which is probably flirting when our into context (women know not to compliment a man who is interested in them whom they are disinterested in). So, yes Sam, I do think it was romantic and kisses generally do not need VERBAL consent though, when in doubt, do ask. But women in general do not flip out of they don’t want the kiss… There’s a lead up to it and they know it’s coming 99 times out of 100 so if you weren’t thwarted, the advance is probably welcome.
It’s weird how much emphasis is put on consent lately… I have very mixed feelings about it.
I have for a couple years now been down in the dumps that I do not get enough hugs. But, I don’t want to beg for hugs, because it feels weird to do that. I’ve mentioned it once or twice but doing more than that sounds like being needy. But I noticed that I was receiving next to no physical contact with either friends or family, aside from with my nieces and nephews, and that troubled me more than a little bit — not least because psych class made it pretty clear that humans become psychologically unhealthy in the absence of touch.
My feelings about hugs makes me think that if I were in a flirting relationship with a guy, I’d be more on the side of “go ahead and try” rather than “make sure you ask me verbally.” However, there’s another dimension:
I was brought up with “your lips are for your husband alone.” It has been ingrained in my psyche. I have been weirded out when kids in my family kiss their parents on the lips, and that’s not just a prudish thing, it’s a germ thing. The side of the family that kisses on the lips has all four kids infected with mouth herpes now, a lifelong-recurring ailment that I believe they got from their mother and I have been anxiously hoping not to catch myself (it has made me super vigilant in ensuring that we never share food germs).
So, if someone, even someone I was attracted to, just up and kissed me on the mouth, I would be a bit horrified. Who knows where his mouth has been? So I think my preference would be an attempt at the cheek, side of the neck, or similar, showing that kissing is desired and being direct about it (not verbally direct, but still direct), yet not mouth-to-mouth contact until we’re both on board with that specific thing.
That also prevents problems of the “I didn’t pick up on your social signals” thing, or at least reduces the severity of them, because I’m not that great at picking up on them. The time my best friend asked me out, we had been friends since college for over a decade, and when he said he needed to talk to me, I thought he was going to kick me out of our group and tell me to never come back (I felt like quite the fifth wheel at the time).
Indeed! Muslims are forbidden by Islamic law to touch people of the opposite sex unless they are married, or vocational necessity (example: a doctor must touch patients to examine them).
Since she wears a Hijab, one presumes she is not just casually Muslim. It would be fairly safe to assume most of the tenants of her faith are important to her.
And no Tod, you’re not likely to get any pre-marital nookie either. Or get to see her hair, for that matter.
Look, every situation is different but personally I’d be horrified if a guy kissed me like this.
You can ask for consent without literally asking. He could have put his hand on her cheek and tilted his head. There are ways of saying “I want to kiss you now” without grabbing her and shoving his face into hers.
On top of that, she’s wearing a hijab. It’s already bad to grab a woman you’re not romantically involved with and kiss them, and even worse when they’re wearing religious or cultural clothing from a background that traditionally saves physical intimacy until after marriage. What Todd did here was messed up.
I agree with E… there’s a HUGE difference between nonverbal consent and “Screw it, I’m going to grab you and kiss you.” Also, I find it disturbing that some men are using these random surveys when trying to figure out how to relate to me. I’m a human being, it’s not that complicated. If I want to kiss someone, I’ll either give explicit cues or kiss them myself once I’ve seen their cues.
“There’s a lead up to it and they know it’s coming 99 times out of 100”
She had no idea this was coming. She literally turned around, and suddenly his mouth was on hers.
I agree. This was to abrupt for my liking. If I was in her place I would have freaked out.
It’s not like they gazed at each other’s eyes before and wondered ‘does he/she want to…?’
Honestly, I think the teacher is the one that will be in more trouble here. Dating the father of a student? That’s a big no no. Wait until the end of the school year Todd…
Actually, the relevant part is “Mina is a woman”. How much she lets being Muslim and not being married to Todd get in the way here is for her to decide.
Yes, yes I have been checking the ceiling and walls for Ninjas. Ever since Flo and the Vet went to the French Cafe on their date. I learned a lot from Sam Freefall.
I think it is supposed to be awkward. Todd, in case you haven’t noticed, IS awkward. He has clearly been telling himself, “My kid’s teacher, not appropriate, stop it, stop it…”
That’s what the “Screw it” was about. Not the most graceful way to give in to temptation! but I suspect Mina thinks he’s an adorable dork.
I’ve long been a fan of Will Smith’s 90/10 smooching formula… you move in 90% of the way, and if she wants to be smooched, she’ll come the remaining 10% to meet you.
That is an excellent standard. Is that from one of his movies or his advice IRL?
I definitely vote for the “let both consent to it” standard, if it’s obvious yet doesn’t necessarily involve verbal skills. Verbalizing things can at times kill the moment, and not everyone is good with the verbal dance it takes to get both people on the right page without offending the party you’re most hoping not to offend.
Not strip related, but I’d really love to see a nav bar at the top of the strip too so when I check in after a week or two I can easily flip back a few comics without scrolling down and getting things spoiled for me. THanks.
Also oh my gosh all you people who are like OMG OMG HE DIDN’T ASK…dude, asking is a huge turnoff for many people. Good grief. If some dude I obviously have a crush on (which has been the case between the two of them for a while) turns and kisses me, holy shit is that hot. Good lord people, what happened to romance?
I like how I’m the fuckin troll, because I think unwanted touch is fuckin gross and forcing yourself kissing or otherwise is gross.
I’m both wryly amused and a bit disturbed that all of you think this okay.
This isn’t a risk, this invasion of space and automy. Everyone assumes that this okay because they like each, that is not consent. A risk is Todd asking her to a real date, this is just gross a fuck.
But lol the reader for over a few years is the fuckin troll. Not everyone that digress with you is a fuckin troll
“I like how I’m the fuckin troll, because I think unwanted touch is fuckin gross and forcing yourself kissing or otherwise is gross.”
You’re a troll because you’re making obvious strawmen arguments and comparing kiss to rape and other forms of sexual assault. I’m giving you the botd that you’re not actually that dumb.
“This isn’t a risk, this invasion of space and automy. Everyone assumes that this okay because they like each, that is not consent. A risk is Todd asking her to a real date, this is just gross a fuck.”
That’s still taking a risk, and the second half of this is entirely your opinion.
“But lol the reader for over a few years is the fuckin troll. Not everyone that digress with you is a fuckin troll”
How long you’ve read is irrelevant. And I agree that not everyone that ‘digress’ with me is a troll, but your demeanor and content highly suggests it.
Gaben, bardchild wasn’t the one who compared a kiss to rape. What s/he stated was that it was sexual assault. Regardless of your stance on whether or not it’s appropriate, for your own sake, you should acknowledge that such actions could lead to a very bad legal situation for yourself if the other party is not on the same page that you thought they were.
Actually, I’m a woman in a very stable and loving relationship, and I’ve never had any abusive situations in my life. I am on good terms with all my exes, and I have a thriving social life where people set boundaries, stick to them, and everyone is happy. Try again, asshole.
Having a crush with someone you barely know is not synonym with “I want and will kiss you right now”. She is already recovering from a bad marriage, she might have wanted to go more slowly and get to know him better first. Her opinion wasn’t asked.
Besides, there are a lot of forms of consent other than the verbal one. They weren’t even LOOKING at each other in the previous panel. She could be thinking about anything.
B is irrelevant. Todd believes she’s interested, else he wouldn’t do it. If she’s not interested, he will stop and not do it again. She’s not going to suffer some mental trauma over a goddamn kiss.
Dude what is with you and “interest?” It’s creepy! Someone having “interest” in you (or in this case, an implied perceived interest from Todd’s perspective that was never even discussed) is not an invitation to just do whatever physically you feel comfortable with to them.
Of course not. There are certain levels that shouldn’t be passed, and I’m not arguing for that.
If Todd jumped up and started groping her tits, yeah, that’d be fucked up. But this is a kiss – something usually shared between two people as they’re beginning a new relationship.
Shared at the end of a date, maybe. Not before dates have even commenced.
And due to the cultural distinction, I think Todd should’ve been even more careful than normal in making sure that what he thought was interest was in fact interest. Even if kissing someone out of the blue were acceptable in our culture — and it is not — when you’re dealing with another culture, it might be something like flipping the bird when you thought you were making an A-OK sign.
Gaben, you’re right that tit-groping would be utterly inappropriate and probably kill any chance of future involvement. We are arguing that unexpected kissing, while not as bad as tit-groping, is still inappropriate. It certainly shows what kind of person you are when you take liberties like that without finding out if the woman would appreciate them or not. Just because a lot of woman find nothing wrong with a sudden kiss does not mean that it’s acceptable.
There is a big difference between “I am potentially interested in a romantic relationship with you.” and “I am ok with you surprise kissing me in the middle of the school hallway where I teach when we’ve never had any physical contact beyond a handshake before.” Interest in the former does not vindicate the latter.
I don’t think you know what the word ‘vindicate’ means, because it makes no sense in the context you provided.
I’m saying it’s a kiss. She’s a mature woman. Assuming she likes it, no harm no foul.
Assuming she hates it, Todd doesn’t do it again, they both move on with their lives. It’s a kiss, not some gross terrible invasion of her body. It’s not tantamount to rape, OK?
That is a correct use of the word “vindicate,” both in connotation and denotation.
I am noticing that you seem to be hung up on the idea that commenters are comparing the kiss to rape. Unless I missed something or a post was deleted, you are one of the few people comparing the two. However, it is a gross violation of her privacy, whether she’s a practicing, nonpracticing or just culturally-inclined Muslim or practitioner of any other religion (or lack thereof).
Your, my and their personal preferences do not change the potential negative legal ramifications of this. While we can probably safely assume Todd’s and Mina’s respective reactions, for good or for bad, it is important to note that doing something like this could and has before ended very, VERY badly for the “Todd’s” of our world.
You are correct. I was mistaken about its definition.
I’m not comparing the two, so it seems you’re not actually reading what I’m writing. I’m simply stating that the reactions of certain commentators are tantamount to what I’d expect if Todd had knocked her to the ground and raped her.
I know little to nothing about the legalities of this move of his, so I’m not commenting on it. But yeah, my guess would be that from a legal standpoint, this was a stupid move.
Way to be a turd Todd, not romantic. Look I get you two have been dancing around each other but for lambs sake’s she is your 8 year old’s teacher and this could compromise a lot of shit.
Plus is tacky as hell to kiss someone without their consent. It’s gross, I fucking hated when my dates did that shit.
Not sure how Mina will react, but to me the more important question is: How quick is Selkie with getting her stuff? I mean, given that she’s not going to waste any more cartoon-watching-time she could return this very second.
And cue the romantic drama. Some one is either going to die or this will get very interesting. The drama with that other woman who Todd was dating can only be expected, but whats Selkie going to think?
Oh and of course the interesting religious implications pointed out by a few commenters seem like they might hold some ground. Mina does not look in my opinion, excited, happy, relived, or enjoying the situation. There are “surprise eyes” then there are “mortified eyes”
*reading the comments*
… Why does no one just enjoy the ride anymore? If you guys don’t like it so much go read something 100% PC. You whiney bitches are pathetic..
How 80s/90s movie. Do experienced grownups really kiss like this ever? It’s one thing if you are both staring into each others’ eyes and/or have at least approached the topic of taking your relationship in romantic directions. Most of the time, it’s a real huge flag when dudes actually pull this. At the very least, it says the guy has no consideration for the woman’s feelings and/or has the social skills of a poorly-raised 10 year old (the second of which could very well account for Todd—he’s shown to be a great dad to Selkie, but sometimes talks before thinking and his past possibly has something to do with it). At the most, it says he’s a potentially an abusive/controlling sociopath. I am pretty sure if I was Minna here, I’d probably at the very least verbally rip Todd a new one (even if I had a crush on him). His timing is horrible! He could get her fired, and anyone with kids knows how damn unpredictable/fast they can be when you send them off to do something so he’s risking both her job and Selkie’s emotional well-being. The grown-up thing to do would have been to approach the topic in private (while the kid has a babysitter at home), and mutually agree to hold off romancing until the school year is over.
BTW, making it clear I’m not trashing on the writing. This is in the realm’s of Todd’s character as he has been shown to be impulsive. It’s more if I knew him as a real person I’d probably give him an earful. Given Minna’s expression in the last panel, I believe this is about to be very interesting. (Grabs some popcorn and waits for the fireworks to begin)
Granting that it was in 1995, but my husband and I did actually kiss like this the first time we met face to face. There were extenuating circumstances, and we had known each other online for a while. I don’t think the year was much of an extenuating circumstance, though.
Without trying to correlate my historic occasion to the comic, I will say that I can see why Todd thought this would be an awesome thing to do; whether or not Mina agrees we’ll find out. Mainly I think Todd feels like they (he and Mina) have won a decisive victory – the principal is not only backing down but leaving the post, they’re now in a position to try to take steps to keep repeats of the situation from happening, and I think that his intent in this was both celebratory and to send an unmistakable signal to Mina as to his romantic interest in her (they’ve been flirting a while, and their date was originally supposed to be one on one before the original babysitting situation fell through).
Intentions do matter; if Mina is offended, his intentions don’t override her right to be offended, but they do matter. So it ultimately comes down to whether or not she is offended, or if he read the overall signals as to what her interests and tolerances (and desires) are. Even if she is not disgusted with him for it, it may be she’d have preferred he not kiss her then, and if so, I’m sure she will tell him so without delay. She doesn’t seem to me the sort to tolerate nonsense (as witness her engineering things so that the PTA meeting would have Todd and probably Chris the gym teacher there). She’s smart, strong, and independent. Todd IS being reckless, but I think that it is only gross or destructive behavior if Mina did NOT want to be kissed at this time.
I really hope Mina DOES tell him off, just to show the MRAs in this comment thread that yes, Todd is in the wrong.
I’m not saying Mina needs to start yelling “RAPE!” or anything – they are friends, there IS mutual attraction, and Todd is known to be a little impulsive, and I expect she will keep all these things in mind and it probably won’t amount to anything more dramatic than a “Whoa, dude, not cool, please don’t do that again”. But yeah, it’s still important that she voices her discomfort.
Sorry I’m late to the party. Doing catchup, and just couldn’t not voice my opinion on this particular issue (the kiss). I am a woman, who went through teach training but failed student teaching. (turns out, I can’t handle a classroom, but I’m a really good tutor)
In most contexts, if I’ve signaled interest in someone as obviously as Mina has been, and they were to do what Todd did, I’d be all for it. That’s what Todd is going off of. But he did mess up. Not because this was uncalled for regardless of situations, but because it was uncalled for in THIS situation.
If I recall correctly, didn’t they have a conversation involving something about “in a year or two”? As in, “Not while she’s still my student”? Maybe not. Either way…
Something a lot of non-teachers (even ones who went through teacher training but don’t have the teacher spirit) don’t seem to get is that all relationships change when they’re in the context of student-teacher or parent-teacher. To a teacher, their students are off-limits. Parents of their students are also off-limits. Their students includes not just students actually taking their class, but any student whom they tutor or mentor.
Is it assault? Not to me. Possibly to her, I’m not entirely clear on how orthodox Mina is. But, if it were a student I was teaching and their father did that to me… I’d never let him be alone with me ever again. Especially if I had been interested.
So, I see where Todd is coming from. I don’t think he’s evil to have done this. He just failed to take into account possible concerns. He got distracted by trying to figure out if she was interested, and forgot to consider that even if she’s interested, they can’t do anything right now.
I feel bad for both of them. They obviously could’ve had something awesome if he hadn’t done this. There is still a chance, of course, but… well, it will depend on how bad this misstep looks to Mina.
Right to the point… Excellent.
Ahem, I have something I’d like to say…
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
One hopes that he’d been reading the situation properly and he didn’t just make a grave mistake.
We can only hope. This has been a long time coming.
How romantic… a “screw it” and a kiss without express consent. :/
You must be fun at parties.
I actually just read a story about this, Sam. 78%of women preferred to be kissed spontaneously and did not want to be asked for a kiss. 45% of those women said that asking is a turn off. 10% preferred to be asked. The last 12% didn’t care. Honestly, lots of women like the pressure off and therfore prefer to be taken by surprise and the “screw it” shows a lot of confident, actually. If that same situation happened to me (in a more appropriate song than an elementary school where I could be in trouble for dating a parent and/or the unprofessional behavior in front of students and the parents) I’d love that. In fact, I’d far prefer it be spontaneous and a surprise. Remember, she picked out and intimate cafe and is probably not dense. Women know when men like them far more often than not. So while the timing would have been a complete surprise, the actual kids should have been expected and either encouraged or discouraged based on her feelings. She approached him to compliment him on a good performance (usually the highest valued compliment to men) which is probably flirting when our into context (women know not to compliment a man who is interested in them whom they are disinterested in). So, yes Sam, I do think it was romantic and kisses generally do not need VERBAL consent though, when in doubt, do ask. But women in general do not flip out of they don’t want the kiss… There’s a lead up to it and they know it’s coming 99 times out of 100 so if you weren’t thwarted, the advance is probably welcome.
It’s weird how much emphasis is put on consent lately… I have very mixed feelings about it.
I have for a couple years now been down in the dumps that I do not get enough hugs. But, I don’t want to beg for hugs, because it feels weird to do that. I’ve mentioned it once or twice but doing more than that sounds like being needy. But I noticed that I was receiving next to no physical contact with either friends or family, aside from with my nieces and nephews, and that troubled me more than a little bit — not least because psych class made it pretty clear that humans become psychologically unhealthy in the absence of touch.
My feelings about hugs makes me think that if I were in a flirting relationship with a guy, I’d be more on the side of “go ahead and try” rather than “make sure you ask me verbally.” However, there’s another dimension:
I was brought up with “your lips are for your husband alone.” It has been ingrained in my psyche. I have been weirded out when kids in my family kiss their parents on the lips, and that’s not just a prudish thing, it’s a germ thing. The side of the family that kisses on the lips has all four kids infected with mouth herpes now, a lifelong-recurring ailment that I believe they got from their mother and I have been anxiously hoping not to catch myself (it has made me super vigilant in ensuring that we never share food germs).
So, if someone, even someone I was attracted to, just up and kissed me on the mouth, I would be a bit horrified. Who knows where his mouth has been? So I think my preference would be an attempt at the cheek, side of the neck, or similar, showing that kissing is desired and being direct about it (not verbally direct, but still direct), yet not mouth-to-mouth contact until we’re both on board with that specific thing.
That also prevents problems of the “I didn’t pick up on your social signals” thing, or at least reduces the severity of them, because I’m not that great at picking up on them. The time my best friend asked me out, we had been friends since college for over a decade, and when he said he needed to talk to me, I thought he was going to kick me out of our group and tell me to never come back (I felt like quite the fifth wheel at the time).
78% of WHAT women? USA women? USA white women? USA catholic women? USA muslim women?
That’s actually a VERY good question.
Indeed! Muslims are forbidden by Islamic law to touch people of the opposite sex unless they are married, or vocational necessity (example: a doctor must touch patients to examine them).
Since she wears a Hijab, one presumes she is not just casually Muslim. It would be fairly safe to assume most of the tenants of her faith are important to her.
And no Tod, you’re not likely to get any pre-marital nookie either. Or get to see her hair, for that matter.
Look, every situation is different but personally I’d be horrified if a guy kissed me like this.
You can ask for consent without literally asking. He could have put his hand on her cheek and tilted his head. There are ways of saying “I want to kiss you now” without grabbing her and shoving his face into hers.
On top of that, she’s wearing a hijab. It’s already bad to grab a woman you’re not romantically involved with and kiss them, and even worse when they’re wearing religious or cultural clothing from a background that traditionally saves physical intimacy until after marriage. What Todd did here was messed up.
I agree with E… there’s a HUGE difference between nonverbal consent and “Screw it, I’m going to grab you and kiss you.” Also, I find it disturbing that some men are using these random surveys when trying to figure out how to relate to me. I’m a human being, it’s not that complicated. If I want to kiss someone, I’ll either give explicit cues or kiss them myself once I’ve seen their cues.
“There’s a lead up to it and they know it’s coming 99 times out of 100”
She had no idea this was coming. She literally turned around, and suddenly his mouth was on hers.
No I agree with this, That was shit thing to do Todd, I get that they both had a thing for each other, but this is gross.
I agree. This was to abrupt for my liking. If I was in her place I would have freaked out.
It’s not like they gazed at each other’s eyes before and wondered ‘does he/she want to…?’
ooooooooooooh, don’t date your daughter’s teacher.
Isn’t she teased enough already?
Honestly, I think the teacher is the one that will be in more trouble here. Dating the father of a student? That’s a big no no. Wait until the end of the school year Todd…
Oh no. Todd, Mina is a muslim woman to whom you are NOT married. You are not allowed to kiss her.
Actually, the relevant part is “Mina is a woman”. How much she lets being Muslim and not being married to Todd get in the way here is for her to decide.
Behavior among Muslims in America varies as much as it does among Christians.
True, but by wearing a hijab, Mina is making a statement about her religious and cultural identity that Todd should respect.
she looks more mortified than pleasently surprised
Dave, are you a fan of RWBY? 😉
Also..maybe Todd should have asked first?
Well, not maybe. He SHOULD have asked her permission/consent, but if Mina is offended by his gesture we all know that Todd will be apologetic.
Aww yeah! Todd gettin’ it on! Mah man!
My money’s on Todd getting smacked next comic.
Has anyone else been obsessively checking the wall in this strip to see if there are any invisible sarnothi ninja hiding in the panels?
Yes, yes I have been checking the ceiling and walls for Ninjas. Ever since Flo and the Vet went to the French Cafe on their date. I learned a lot from Sam Freefall.
The only ninja we need to worry about showing up is Ninja Brian
YAH they kissed! though I have to say that is the most awkward looking kiss seen
I think it is supposed to be awkward. Todd, in case you haven’t noticed, IS awkward. He has clearly been telling himself, “My kid’s teacher, not appropriate, stop it, stop it…”
That’s what the “Screw it” was about. Not the most graceful way to give in to temptation! but I suspect Mina thinks he’s an adorable dork.
Well, ya gotta start somewhere in a relationship.
I’ve long been a fan of Will Smith’s 90/10 smooching formula… you move in 90% of the way, and if she wants to be smooched, she’ll come the remaining 10% to meet you.
That is an excellent standard. Is that from one of his movies or his advice IRL?
I definitely vote for the “let both consent to it” standard, if it’s obvious yet doesn’t necessarily involve verbal skills. Verbalizing things can at times kill the moment, and not everyone is good with the verbal dance it takes to get both people on the right page without offending the party you’re most hoping not to offend.
It was from the movie Hitch.
Haha nice!!
This is a nonverbal way to ask for consent.
“You did good in there…”
…that’s well, Mina. You did WELL in there.
Actually, either would work. Good, in this case, would function as a noun (as in “the greater good”), not the colloquial usage as an adverb.
No one would hear someone say “You did evil” and correct them that they should have said “You did poorly”.
Well…this is going to go one of two ways…
You can’t say Todd doesn’t have stones. Go Todd!
As an Erfworld fan, I must concur: Boop. Boop indeed.
Well that’s going to complicate things…
Not strip related, but I’d really love to see a nav bar at the top of the strip too so when I check in after a week or two I can easily flip back a few comics without scrolling down and getting things spoiled for me. THanks.
Kissing a woman who may or may not be interested in you abruptly? Bad.
Kissing a woman who is your daughter’s teacher, your daughter who already gets picked on for just about everything? Absolutely terrible.
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
…and SMOOCH!!
ABOUT FUCKING TIME WOOT WOOT
yesssssssssss
Also oh my gosh all you people who are like OMG OMG HE DIDN’T ASK…dude, asking is a huge turnoff for many people. Good grief. If some dude I obviously have a crush on (which has been the case between the two of them for a while) turns and kisses me, holy shit is that hot. Good lord people, what happened to romance?
I had no idea sexual assault was romantic,
Bet you’re a ‘nice guy’
A kiss is not sexual assault.
Get the fuck over yourself, tumblrina.
Oh boy, new one here.
Guess not liking unwanted contact from folks is a ‘tumblrina’ It’s p much sexual assault, she didn’t want it. She was assaulted.
The fuck over yourself
It wasn’t assault you dipshit. It’s a kiss
You guys probably think a handshake or pat on the back constitutes rape too.
Then what the fuck is unwanted contact shitlord?
This wasn’t wanted.
Check your definition privilege, poo-prince!
😉
If you don’t understand why we need to sometimes take a risk and make contact with someone who MIGHT not want it then you seriously need help.
Otherwise, I think this is a troll.
I like how I’m the fuckin troll, because I think unwanted touch is fuckin gross and forcing yourself kissing or otherwise is gross.
I’m both wryly amused and a bit disturbed that all of you think this okay.
This isn’t a risk, this invasion of space and automy. Everyone assumes that this okay because they like each, that is not consent. A risk is Todd asking her to a real date, this is just gross a fuck.
But lol the reader for over a few years is the fuckin troll. Not everyone that digress with you is a fuckin troll
“I like how I’m the fuckin troll, because I think unwanted touch is fuckin gross and forcing yourself kissing or otherwise is gross.”
You’re a troll because you’re making obvious strawmen arguments and comparing kiss to rape and other forms of sexual assault. I’m giving you the botd that you’re not actually that dumb.
“This isn’t a risk, this invasion of space and automy. Everyone assumes that this okay because they like each, that is not consent. A risk is Todd asking her to a real date, this is just gross a fuck.”
That’s still taking a risk, and the second half of this is entirely your opinion.
“But lol the reader for over a few years is the fuckin troll. Not everyone that digress with you is a fuckin troll”
How long you’ve read is irrelevant. And I agree that not everyone that ‘digress’ with me is a troll, but your demeanor and content highly suggests it.
Gaben, bardchild wasn’t the one who compared a kiss to rape. What s/he stated was that it was sexual assault. Regardless of your stance on whether or not it’s appropriate, for your own sake, you should acknowledge that such actions could lead to a very bad legal situation for yourself if the other party is not on the same page that you thought they were.
People have gotten fried for much less.
Actually, I’m a woman in a very stable and loving relationship, and I’ve never had any abusive situations in my life. I am on good terms with all my exes, and I have a thriving social life where people set boundaries, stick to them, and everyone is happy. Try again, asshole.
Good fucking for you, not everyone has that life. I had to deal with unwanted men, even as a gay man, I am not fond of come ons.
Ah I got it, so you’re bitter as fuck and projecting onto this situation when your situations were totally different.
Also, love how you assume there are no women on the internet. I clearly MUST be a gay man if I’m on the internet and state I’m into guys in my post.
Having a crush with someone you barely know is not synonym with “I want and will kiss you right now”. She is already recovering from a bad marriage, she might have wanted to go more slowly and get to know him better first. Her opinion wasn’t asked.
Besides, there are a lot of forms of consent other than the verbal one. They weren’t even LOOKING at each other in the previous panel. She could be thinking about anything.
K, question. What’s worse?
A: giving someone a sense of mild disinterest by asking to kiss them
B: Grabbing someone and shoving your mouth onto theirs when they don’t want you to.
B is irrelevant. Todd believes she’s interested, else he wouldn’t do it. If she’s not interested, he will stop and not do it again. She’s not going to suffer some mental trauma over a goddamn kiss.
How blue fuck do you know?
I guess the lipstick means she was asking for it?
Assuming she’s a normal human being, she will be OK. Unlike you mentally deranged fucks that crawl out from tumblr.
Dave, keep up the good work.
LMAO
Man there is a lot of fedoras tonight.
Good retort. Obvious troll just became obvious.
“If she’s not interested, he will stop and not do it again.”
1. We know that Todd would *probably* stop, but some guys won’t.
2. If she’s not interested, he shouldn’t have done it the first time, let alone ‘again’.
1. Irrelevant because we’re not dealing with other guys. We’re dealing with Todd.
2. Irrelevant because he’s under the impression, rightfully so, that she’s interested.
Dude what is with you and “interest?” It’s creepy! Someone having “interest” in you (or in this case, an implied perceived interest from Todd’s perspective that was never even discussed) is not an invitation to just do whatever physically you feel comfortable with to them.
Of course not. There are certain levels that shouldn’t be passed, and I’m not arguing for that.
If Todd jumped up and started groping her tits, yeah, that’d be fucked up. But this is a kiss – something usually shared between two people as they’re beginning a new relationship.
Yes, but she comes from a slightly different cultural background than he does. She may not agree to start a new relationship right now.
Shared at the end of a date, maybe. Not before dates have even commenced.
And due to the cultural distinction, I think Todd should’ve been even more careful than normal in making sure that what he thought was interest was in fact interest. Even if kissing someone out of the blue were acceptable in our culture — and it is not — when you’re dealing with another culture, it might be something like flipping the bird when you thought you were making an A-OK sign.
Gaben, you’re right that tit-groping would be utterly inappropriate and probably kill any chance of future involvement. We are arguing that unexpected kissing, while not as bad as tit-groping, is still inappropriate. It certainly shows what kind of person you are when you take liberties like that without finding out if the woman would appreciate them or not. Just because a lot of woman find nothing wrong with a sudden kiss does not mean that it’s acceptable.
There is a big difference between “I am potentially interested in a romantic relationship with you.” and “I am ok with you surprise kissing me in the middle of the school hallway where I teach when we’ve never had any physical contact beyond a handshake before.” Interest in the former does not vindicate the latter.
I don’t think you know what the word ‘vindicate’ means, because it makes no sense in the context you provided.
I’m saying it’s a kiss. She’s a mature woman. Assuming she likes it, no harm no foul.
Assuming she hates it, Todd doesn’t do it again, they both move on with their lives. It’s a kiss, not some gross terrible invasion of her body. It’s not tantamount to rape, OK?
That is a correct use of the word “vindicate,” both in connotation and denotation.
I am noticing that you seem to be hung up on the idea that commenters are comparing the kiss to rape. Unless I missed something or a post was deleted, you are one of the few people comparing the two. However, it is a gross violation of her privacy, whether she’s a practicing, nonpracticing or just culturally-inclined Muslim or practitioner of any other religion (or lack thereof).
Your, my and their personal preferences do not change the potential negative legal ramifications of this. While we can probably safely assume Todd’s and Mina’s respective reactions, for good or for bad, it is important to note that doing something like this could and has before ended very, VERY badly for the “Todd’s” of our world.
You are correct. I was mistaken about its definition.
I’m not comparing the two, so it seems you’re not actually reading what I’m writing. I’m simply stating that the reactions of certain commentators are tantamount to what I’d expect if Todd had knocked her to the ground and raped her.
I know little to nothing about the legalities of this move of his, so I’m not commenting on it. But yeah, my guess would be that from a legal standpoint, this was a stupid move.
“dude, asking is a huge turnoff for many people.”
There are ways to ‘ask’ nonverbally. Claiming that the only way to ask for consent is an adult version of “mother-may-I” is forcing a false dilemma.
OH NO HARRASSMENT THAT IS THE WORST OFFENSE
no seriously though not a good idea to randomly kiss a woman wearing a hijab.
hardly ‘random’, though. They’ve been crushing on each other for a while now.
Or it SEEMS they have been. What if its all a misunderstanding? (Its probably not)
Sweet delicious Mina’s lips.
Way to be a turd Todd, not romantic. Look I get you two have been dancing around each other but for lambs sake’s she is your 8 year old’s teacher and this could compromise a lot of shit.
Plus is tacky as hell to kiss someone without their consent. It’s gross, I fucking hated when my dates did that shit.
Not sure how Mina will react, but to me the more important question is: How quick is Selkie with getting her stuff? I mean, given that she’s not going to waste any more cartoon-watching-time she could return this very second.
Oh yay oh no oh yay oh no oh hell oh boy…… Can you tell I’m conflicted?
And cue the romantic drama. Some one is either going to die or this will get very interesting. The drama with that other woman who Todd was dating can only be expected, but whats Selkie going to think?
Oh and of course the interesting religious implications pointed out by a few commenters seem like they might hold some ground. Mina does not look in my opinion, excited, happy, relived, or enjoying the situation. There are “surprise eyes” then there are “mortified eyes”
*reading the comments*
… Why does no one just enjoy the ride anymore? If you guys don’t like it so much go read something 100% PC. You whiney bitches are pathetic..
Agreed. People need to just enjoy the comic and not get so riled up about a damn kiss between two fictional characters.
Remember kids forcing yourself on others is always romantic and brave it’s not gross at uwu
Stop, the trolling is too obvious at this point.
WHOOO GET IT!
Just a quick general comment, but lets keep the conversation civil, please.
it degenerated quickly.
It makes me glad this wound up being my first comment on this particular update.
Regardless, looking forward to the future events of the story.
Reflexive backhand in 5….4….3….
How 80s/90s movie. Do experienced grownups really kiss like this ever? It’s one thing if you are both staring into each others’ eyes and/or have at least approached the topic of taking your relationship in romantic directions. Most of the time, it’s a real huge flag when dudes actually pull this. At the very least, it says the guy has no consideration for the woman’s feelings and/or has the social skills of a poorly-raised 10 year old (the second of which could very well account for Todd—he’s shown to be a great dad to Selkie, but sometimes talks before thinking and his past possibly has something to do with it). At the most, it says he’s a potentially an abusive/controlling sociopath. I am pretty sure if I was Minna here, I’d probably at the very least verbally rip Todd a new one (even if I had a crush on him). His timing is horrible! He could get her fired, and anyone with kids knows how damn unpredictable/fast they can be when you send them off to do something so he’s risking both her job and Selkie’s emotional well-being. The grown-up thing to do would have been to approach the topic in private (while the kid has a babysitter at home), and mutually agree to hold off romancing until the school year is over.
BTW, making it clear I’m not trashing on the writing. This is in the realm’s of Todd’s character as he has been shown to be impulsive. It’s more if I knew him as a real person I’d probably give him an earful. Given Minna’s expression in the last panel, I believe this is about to be very interesting. (Grabs some popcorn and waits for the fireworks to begin)
Granting that it was in 1995, but my husband and I did actually kiss like this the first time we met face to face. There were extenuating circumstances, and we had known each other online for a while. I don’t think the year was much of an extenuating circumstance, though.
Without trying to correlate my historic occasion to the comic, I will say that I can see why Todd thought this would be an awesome thing to do; whether or not Mina agrees we’ll find out. Mainly I think Todd feels like they (he and Mina) have won a decisive victory – the principal is not only backing down but leaving the post, they’re now in a position to try to take steps to keep repeats of the situation from happening, and I think that his intent in this was both celebratory and to send an unmistakable signal to Mina as to his romantic interest in her (they’ve been flirting a while, and their date was originally supposed to be one on one before the original babysitting situation fell through).
Intentions do matter; if Mina is offended, his intentions don’t override her right to be offended, but they do matter. So it ultimately comes down to whether or not she is offended, or if he read the overall signals as to what her interests and tolerances (and desires) are. Even if she is not disgusted with him for it, it may be she’d have preferred he not kiss her then, and if so, I’m sure she will tell him so without delay. She doesn’t seem to me the sort to tolerate nonsense (as witness her engineering things so that the PTA meeting would have Todd and probably Chris the gym teacher there). She’s smart, strong, and independent. Todd IS being reckless, but I think that it is only gross or destructive behavior if Mina did NOT want to be kissed at this time.
That… was probably a Really Bad Idea.
I really hope Mina DOES tell him off, just to show the MRAs in this comment thread that yes, Todd is in the wrong.
I’m not saying Mina needs to start yelling “RAPE!” or anything – they are friends, there IS mutual attraction, and Todd is known to be a little impulsive, and I expect she will keep all these things in mind and it probably won’t amount to anything more dramatic than a “Whoa, dude, not cool, please don’t do that again”. But yeah, it’s still important that she voices her discomfort.
Sorry I’m late to the party. Doing catchup, and just couldn’t not voice my opinion on this particular issue (the kiss). I am a woman, who went through teach training but failed student teaching. (turns out, I can’t handle a classroom, but I’m a really good tutor)
In most contexts, if I’ve signaled interest in someone as obviously as Mina has been, and they were to do what Todd did, I’d be all for it. That’s what Todd is going off of. But he did mess up. Not because this was uncalled for regardless of situations, but because it was uncalled for in THIS situation.
If I recall correctly, didn’t they have a conversation involving something about “in a year or two”? As in, “Not while she’s still my student”? Maybe not. Either way…
Something a lot of non-teachers (even ones who went through teacher training but don’t have the teacher spirit) don’t seem to get is that all relationships change when they’re in the context of student-teacher or parent-teacher. To a teacher, their students are off-limits. Parents of their students are also off-limits. Their students includes not just students actually taking their class, but any student whom they tutor or mentor.
Is it assault? Not to me. Possibly to her, I’m not entirely clear on how orthodox Mina is. But, if it were a student I was teaching and their father did that to me… I’d never let him be alone with me ever again. Especially if I had been interested.
So, I see where Todd is coming from. I don’t think he’s evil to have done this. He just failed to take into account possible concerns. He got distracted by trying to figure out if she was interested, and forgot to consider that even if she’s interested, they can’t do anything right now.
I feel bad for both of them. They obviously could’ve had something awesome if he hadn’t done this. There is still a chance, of course, but… well, it will depend on how bad this misstep looks to Mina.
Go ahead Todd.
Cop a feel.