Antoine is on point with the Swear Jar.
I was originally going to have Marta slinging colorful illustrations at Antoine in the last panel, but I don't think she'd knowingly do that around kids. Unless pressed too far. >:D
Antoine is on point with the Swear Jar.
Ok now this is just awesome.
So. I dunno how civil they’ll be around Andi.
Was it for “damn”, or for “badass”?
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/bth.gif
[Kosh] …Yes… [/Kosh]
I forget…has Amanda met any of todds family thus far?
Just his parents.
I’m wondering if she’s going to be “that kid” who asks inappropriate questions as to why everyone is different colors (although, perhaps Todd and Andi’s hair-adventure was a good segue into that)… and the gay uncles.
I realize Dave’s tried to be all-inclusive with this comic thus far, and I applaud that. I recall seeing some distasteful comments way back. But leave it to kids to ask something uncomfortable which should probably be addressed to them. Kinda like Selkie’s introduction to Sarnothi birth.
She already knows that they’re adopted. -___-
Being an adopted kid and being told her new family adopts kids, even if she didn’t know with her uncle and aunt, she’d catch on pretty quickly.
Those aren’t inappropriate questions. It’s called learning and a child cannot learn without asking or being told a proper response. Acting like the whole this is bad or awkward is really what’s inappropriate. If Amanda asks why her uncle is dating another man its just opening the door to a positive learning experience.
I personally think she’ll just be ecstatic about spending christmas with an actual family that won’t be beating on her because little brats whine. She might ask questions but I think she’ll just enjoy things more. At least I hope this will be a situation of peace of mind for her.
Yeah! I think it’s crazy to treat normal questions like taboo subjects, whether it’s “Daddy, why is that man brown?” or “Why is that woman bald?” or “Why is that boy’s leg made of metal?” or “Why doesn’t Aunt Sue ever get out of bed?” or whatever.
Explain it in simple terms the kid can understand, and later maybe explain what tact is and why in polite society we refrain from saying certain things even though we’re thinking them. And maybe point out that you can hold onto (or write down) questions for later that you think might be rude to ask next to the person you’re asking them about.
She’s already been told about the multi-racial aspect of her Dad’s family.
https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie680/
Yea this does look like simply siblings teasing each other. 😀 I did meet people who genuinely thought damn is a swearword though, and this made me think of that.
Ah, siblings! We love to hate them.
Always surprised when people consider stuff like this swearing, especially since otherwise the folk here seem pretty liberal minded.
No surprise here. The liberals are always the ones trying to restrict speech and seal children up in plastic so nothing can harm them.
Now, where’s the raised-eyebrow emoji when I need one…? Could you just not go there?
It has nothing to do with liberals, conservatives, or libertarians. The “swear jar” family custom was created a long time ago by Mari and Theo as a teaching tool. Marta as a newly-adopted kid came to them with a very foul mouth and needed to learn how to restrain herself. It’s not being puritanical to recognize that habitual bad language can be a social handicap.
As we see, it did not succeed perfectly, but by now it is a running joke amongst the three siblings. Probably Mari would have been willing to stop once Marta had learned some control, but I bet Theo thought it was funny, and there’s no way her brothers would ever let Marta off the hook.
As for even rather mild words being considering “swearing” — that’s how siblings are.
The most devastating thing my dad ever said in my hearing — when he thought I was asleep — was “Damn her!” Over a time he told me to turn down the heater, and I misunderstood what he meant and turned it off (so the house was really cold by morning). He didn’t mean much by it, but I was pretty young and it felt worse than being punched (not that I’ve ever been punched, but worse than I guess being punched would feel like).
Regardless of how commonplace the term has become, it’s still swearing.
I do happen to think “badass” is a term less sweary than “ass,” if only because I have yet to encounter an alternative that covers the same ground.
I think South Park covered the negatives of unrestrained swearing pretty sweetly. Cartman fakes Tourettes so he can say whatever he wants and people will laud him for being “such a brave boy” — but because he doesn’t use any filter on what he says, pretty soon he’s spilling the beans about horrible things that happened to him that he doesn’t ever want people to find out about, and he can’t stop his mouth from speaking. It’s hilarious, and a great episode.
Personally I see damn like the kind of “swear” you use when you don’t want to swear, like gosh or oh my god. And yea agree with you about badass, though I don’t really have a problem with ass either. I probably wouldn’t feel awkward unless someone can’t stop dropping the f-bomb around really.
Uh oh folks, Cold Fusion has caught on to the nefarious plan of the United Liberal Front to wrap all children in plastic!
Well somehow my parents must have missed the memo because I was never wrapped in plastic so no harm would come to me. And they continue to do a terrible job having bought a trampoline for the backyard for my neice and nephew to use. Does this mean we are going to get our Liberal Membership Bonus Cards revoked?
I find this idea particularly hilarious given that its most often religious conservative related groups who spend the most time protesting about language and content issues in media these days.
On a less snarky note, this is not a liberal/conservative issues, its a “society has structure and some behaviors are not appropriate in certain situations and you should learn that”. While those boundaries and social mores are not set in stone they are there and part of being a functioning member of society involves learning those rules and when to apply them. I see its a lesson you still need to work on 🙂
Well, there’s also the general question of which boundaries are appropriate.
For example, in my experience, the conservative people I know don’t want to hear swearing, but have less of a problem with swear-free insults, and don’t think much about the SJW topics such as mocking people for who they are.
And the online liberals seem to have few boundaries when it comes to swearing, but also seem to be rallying around the cry of “nobody should call people names” and coming up with ever-increasing lists of words you just shouldn’t use, or sometimes words that ought to be claimed Yankee-Doodle style and used in a positive fashion (“sl*t” and “wh*re” for example). And they hit on just about every even remotely racial term and are starting down the road of every even remotely sexist term as well — a little like the people who suspended a five-year-old from school for kissing a classmate, because clearly Sexual Harassment.
But my liberal friends are much less worried about insults or people’s feelings, and sling around a ton of harsh language and use phrases such as “effed you in the A” (said just like that) as friendly banter while playing games.
So there are different sets of socially appropriate language. The problem comes when these groups cross paths and think the other group ought to already have read the memo on what terms should never be used… they just disagree on what the memo ought to say.
So you get one side saying “You’re using horrible terms that should never be used” and the other side saying “C’mon, you’re being too sensitive” — and then flip those positions around for other terms.
Sigh.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”
NO. NOT TRUE. Words have a LOT of power, sometimes more than physical violence. I think it’s important to be…thoughful…about how and why we use words and what words we choose to use.
Like David K., I don’t think it’s about liberals or conservatives. I think it’s about a base level of respect for each other. I try hard not to call people by names they don’t want to be called, or refer to them in ways they don’t like. I try not to use words that other people might find hurtful. Of course I don’t always succeed. For years I said “I got gypped” when I felt cheated our of something. I honestly didn’t know that is a racial slur against the Romany people (sometimes called Gypsies, although many people don’t like that word, so I don’t use it). Someone pointed that out to me and now I don’t say it anymore.
I don’t think we need to “ban” words or anything; I think we need to have more consideration for other people. By the same token, I think people need to let others know if they are using a word that may be construed badly. If someone calls me a name I don’t like, I am going to let them know about it, and I hope they will do the same for me.
I recently acquired a niece so I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I find myself saying “dang” and “heck” instead of other exclamations because I don’t want her picking up words that are socially coded as swears. She is two years old and in that phase where she understands and repeats EVERYTHING. My sister forgot and said “sh!t” in front of her, and my niece very clearly repeated “sh!t!” It’s not that I think there is anything inherently wrong with that word, but a toddler who runs around cursing in front of other people is going to be viewed a certain way, as are her parents (and trust me, my sister and brother-in-law are very careful about what they say in front of my niece. My sister was very tired and frustrated about something at her work and it just slipped out.)
Also, I think the common English swear words and phrases show a basic lack of creativity. Can’t we go back to Shakespearean insults? For example: “Thou art a cream-faced loon!” (“Macbeth”) See? SO MUCH better than just telling someone to eff off! 😛
I meant “thoughtful” in my second paragraph and “out” in my third paragraph. Stupid new iPad keyboard! 🙁
I do not worry about my language hurting people, the old phrase “Offense is never given, only taken.” My language, depending on environ is not censored or cut down for feelings. I am not progressive I will never advertise myself as a soft sensitive male and you will never see me doing a video about mean words or apologizing to women on behalf of all men.
However I do respect that not all environments welcome all languages. This is nothing new. You would never tell an obscene joke in front of the queen and you don’t swear in front of a judge.
It is not conservative or liberal to shape your vocabulary to suit your situation.
I strongly agree with your last sentence: “It is not conservative or liberal to shape your vocabulary to suit your situation.”
I also strongly DISAGREE with some of what you wrote before that. “Offense is never given, only taken.” NO. Just…NO. If I call a Black person the n-word, I am GIVING OFFENSE. If I call a woman the c-word, I am GIVING OFFENSE. Many of these words have a terrible history behind them (the n-word comes directly out of the days of African-American slavery in the U.S., for example) and shouldn’t be taken or used lightly.
To me, that is paramount to saying, “I do not worry about the fact that I sometimes punch people in the face hurts people.” I have increasingly been getting the sense that requesting people be thoughtful about the words they use has become understood as asking people to muzzle or emasculate themselves.
Yes, of course you have the right to say whatever you want. But why should that include claiming and using that right to hurt other people with your words, when it’s so easy NOT to?
What I don’t get is why the words themselves matter, rather than the meaning or intend behind them. Like why is telling someone to f*** off more offensive than telling them to buzz off or sex off?
Or like, why can people get away with saying a lot of racist stuff as long as they don’t actually use the n word?
Sorry if responses crossed, Mikael (my internet is also being kind of weird). Of COURSE intent matters. But certain words have a whole history behind them, and that carries over into how people feel about them. “South Park” was referenced way back in this thread. The episode about the word f@ggot was actually really good and mostly accurate. There is a reason why curse words are “words of curse” – because they are POWERFUL. Since human beings invented language, we have always believed that certain words have more power than others.
So, yeah, calling a Black person the n-word is more powerful than insulting them in general terms. I live in the U.S. so I’m speaking from that perspective, but how would any other U.S. readers feel if the headline of tomorrow’s “New York Times” was “Obama is a N-word?” It emotionally and physically hurt me just to type that; that’s how emotionally charged that word is in my country.
I don’t think anyone should insult anyone. But I think there are certain words that are more powerful than others and which hold the power to be more hurtful than others. And I think we all need to be mindful of that.
To clarify, my hypothetical “Times” article would use the entire racial slur, and just thinking about that makes me physically cringe.
I also should have probably mentioned the “South Park” episode in which the characters say sh!t so many times that it almost brings about the end of the world, because that is a word of curse. Again, not a new idea or one that’s been forgotten: anyone remember “avada kedavra’ from the “Harry Potter” books?
Yea, that’s where I disagree, or rather, where I agree with GallowsNose. Certain words only have that power because we give it to them.
I’m sorry but no, offense is very much given. Words have power, and depending on the relative position of people involved they can have significant power. If a person is surrounded by people constantly telling them they are worthless, that WILL affect them. Perhaps somepeople will be wired just right to withstand it without significant emotional affect, but if they never get support in the first place? How do they know? Humans are not machines, we can’t simply flip emotions or emotional responses on or off. Things can affect us in ways we can’t fully comprehend and yes that involves words that people use, even casually.
Its certainly possible you may use a word without INTENDING offense but that doesn’t mean you aren’t going to cause it. And certainly people routinely use words very specifically intending to cause offense.
Sorry but “its your fault you are offended not mine” is a cop out, a way of avoiding responsibility for your own words and actions and I unequivocally reject that notion.
Well said, David K.! 🙂
I wonder if you have any self-awareness that by painting an entire group with the same broad brush, you are saying far more damning things about yourself than about anyone else.
It’s really more of a “trolling the older sister” moment than a “inappropriate words” moment.
Oh, wow. Marta and I are the same age. That makes me oddly happy.
This reminds me of a bowling league I used to participate in … at the league meeting one year, the officers proposed a fine for swearing. Several members (myself included) asked if one particular bowler (who was both highly competitive and highly vocal) would be required to put up a cash bond ahead of time.
I love how Marta is just thumb flipping the coins into the jar from at least 6 inches away/below it. She must have had a LOT of practice.
hey dave, have you heard of discord yet? i got some selkie ideas you might like id like to run by ya
Is “badass” a swear? (Well, spellchecker here tells me it’s spelled wrong, but what does it know?)
Since Antoine is judge, jury, and executioner, I guess Marta is stuck.
I don’t recall seeing *any* in-comic LGBT-phobia, offhand; but if Dave does decide to introduce that plot element, I rather doubt that it’ll come from the orphanage kids (unless they picked it up in school). They didn’t bat an eye at Ben and Tom Henderson (“Those guys rock!”), and Amanda in particular was proud of having had the five-parent family wanting her.
Hey Dave, I’ve noticed you only showed Amanda’s hair from one side but you’ve used all the colors up if you’re stopping at purple like you did with Selkie. So, when we see Amanda from the front, half of her hair is going to be purple. I was thinking you could add some pink to help.
Or maybe I’m wrong and it’s going to go from purple to red down the other side too, like the reverse of Selkie’s.
So, I’m new. I read everything in a week. Now, I am suffering withdrawal. Lol