Keisha's love for dancing is something that's on her cast page entry but hasn't been showed in the strip yet. Glad I got the chance to show her revelry.
Oh how shaky Andi is, wonder if this is going at all like she thought it would. Also how piercing to her heart it must be to have her daughter giving her “puppy-eyes” with Todd’s eyes?
Of course it’s not going like she thought it would. Very few things in anyone’s life do (even fewer the really important things).
It is quite possible, though, that she underestimated just how much it could go not like she thought it would.
The trick I think Andi’s using is pressing upwards and inwards on the cartilege between the nostrils. Not hard enough to hurt or break anything, just hard enough to feel in your tonsils. It’s supposed to be a pressure point that counteracts nausea.
I’ve tried it on myself when I wasn’t feeling so good, and it seemed to reduce my nausea surprisingly rapidly (talking under 10 seconds here). I have not, however, tried it when I was on the edge of hurling, like Amanda is here. So, not so certain about this.
Interesting, I wasn’t familiar with that pressure point. The much more well-known anti-nausea pressure points are spots a bit up-arm from your wrist, which Sea-Bands take advantage of and an accupuncturist will also work with. There’s another set of points on the outside edge of your shin just below the knee that is quite effective, but I’ve never seen anyone other than an accupuncturist work with that—you might have to push too hard to make it practical with a finger.
Given the number of anti-nausea things I know, I’m surprised I’d never heard of the nose one.
Thanks, I needed to know this. I experience persistent nausea due to my GERD and it usually happens at inopportune times (like in the cleanroom at work). I need more tricks in my bag.
In the real world, Andi wouldn’t be able to just drop by and adopt her again. CPS would have to go out an investigate and present to a judge why they thought she should/should not be allowed to have supervised visitation with Amanda for a time then gradually switch to unsupervised, then weekend overnights, then finally a slow transition to living with her with frequent CPS check in’s, both announced and unannounced along with a slew of other requirements like counseling. The process would take at least a year in most cases, particularly with Andi’s issues. Of course, this is a comic but while Tod dropping by and picking up a kid like he would a puppy at a humane society (which often have at least 1 day holds themselves) I was able to get past as he is a responsible, upstanding guy it’s hard to think of Andi doing the same with a troubled kid while she herself is troubled. This is not something any CPS caseworker in their right mind would consider a good idea because the potential for damage to Amanda is sky high. Imagine this child being given up by her mother AGAIN because she was too difficult? Or being taken away from her mother because she couldn’t handle it? This kid would be destroyed for life. But, of course, this ISN’T real life but whereas a lot of this comic seems like it really could happen in the world, the adoption procedures are definitely not anywhere close to realistic lol.
Above the shift key on your keyboard is another button that says “Enter” on it. I’ll gladly read your comment as soon as you figure out how to use this new key I’ve just taught you.
It depends on where you live. Some places are easier than others. If the child was willingly put up for adoption (and not removed from the home), then some places will hand them over with very little involvement.
” Of course, this is a comic but while Tod dropping by and picking up a kid like he would a puppy at a humane society”
That didn’t happen at all. Months went by ‘off camera’.
I’ll own up that I play fast and loose with the representation of the adoption process. I just don’t know a way to make such a long process visually or narratively interesting.
Wasn’t there a months-long time skip before Todd was approved to adopt anyone between their first meeting and him adopting her, anyway? He didn’t just “pick her up”, there was in fact an approval process.
Yes, why wouldn’t it be? All he would have to do is prove the financial ability to care for the child, and show the he has a support structure (family/friends) that could assist if needed.
I feel like unless the man came with a partner, he would be under more scrutiny than a woman. However, you also have to consider Selkie wasn’t just a normal child. Todd must’ve been background checked extensively by the government before being able to adopt her.
Not in this case. Amanda was not removed from Andi’s custody, she was voluntarily relinquished. There was no assessment made of Andi’s fitness as a parent at the time of Amanda’s birth, none was necessary. Since there was no determination of unfitness, combined with the assessment that Andi meets at least the nominal qualifications for having Amanda in her custody, the steps you outlined would neither be warranted or necessary. CPS should not be involved in any interaction between Andi and Amanda because there is no cause to do so.
CPS most likely would have been involved in the case with Amanda and the Sandersons, but that case would have been closed upon her admission to the orphanage.
No, LLT is correct. In the real world, because she relinquished Amanda, Andi would now have no more claim on Amanda than any other prospective parent.
Voluntary relinquishment means you give up all of your parental rights, permanently. There is a waiting period in some areas, but it will have expired long ago.
The more this story moves towards Amanda going off with Andi, the more nervous I am about Keisha’s mid-story arc. I understand it’s hardly reasonable for Keisha to go with Andi and yet I want to see Amanda prove she’s different from the rest, the ones who left, their friend who even made a pact with them. I want Amanda to show a clear, utterly positive trait (loyalty) that makes things harder for everyone.
What I don’t want is for Keisha at this moment to have to realize what a bad friend Amanda is (as… Heather?… was trying to tell her earlier), or for Keisha to be left here alone, the last of the three to be still an orphan.
Mind, I also don’t want to see a random person come in and adopt Keisha out of the blue just to avoid giving her the short end of the stick, either.
Best I can think of right now is Amanda refusing to go unless Keisha goes too, having people tell her that’s impossible, having her stick to her guns — and having the adoption have to wait a bit while people think through the possibilities. And maybe Keisha, initially glad that Amanda stuck up for her and not wanting to stay alone, eventually coming to the conclusion that she needs to convince Amanda to forget her for a while so that at least one of them can have a happy ending sooner rather than later.
Heck, maybe she even can’t convince Amanda the normal way, and so gets in a fight with her just to make her think they’re not friends anymore and to go with Andi. SOMETHING active, anyway. Something other than just Amanda heading off with the new mommy and Keisha being left all alone, after that heart-wrenching scene near the fence as their friend left.
I’m guessing that Lillian will be arching an eyebrow at the very least, and Andi will just be going “Yeah… a trick my mom used to do to me when I got carsick” or something similar.
When Todd was first invited to meet the children, he was in the process of selecting a child. Since Andi has only been authorized to take Amanda, that step has been skipped.
Also, it’s less awkward and less societally stigmatized (for reasons both good and bad) when it’s a girl doing it to a girl than it is when it’s a guy doing it to a girl (or a girl doing it to a guy, for that matter).
Bare in mind this is the foster system; the expensive, complex, invasive form of adoption most people think about only applies to babies. It is free to very cheap to adopt from foster. I’ve spoken with many people on it and if a stripper can adopt then people need to stop acting like it is an impossible process.
I am surgically sterile (female) by choice and have birthed zero children. Foster is something I read up on a lot as part of my decision.
Most of the kids in foster do have bad histories… Either their parents died, or the children were hurt.
I buy/support dog breeders who focus on increasing the health and lifespan of the dogs… And people give me grief for it because there are “dogs in he pound” but ALL of those people birthed children.
Likewise there are actually people who would give you sh*t for adopting children instead of giving birth to your own. I see no problem with getting a pet from a breeder, though personally I go with rescue animals.
As a pet lover (one who calls her animals her “fur babies”) and a parent who waited a long time to have kids because she herslef had a horrible childhood, it really rubs me the wrong way when people compare pets to children or vice versa.
Children are not dogs. Dogs are not children. People who believe they are one in the same do neither justice.
While there are children who need homes, they are not dying in kennels or being put to sleep for overpopulation (at least not in the US). Likewise, most dogs live in the moment—thus adopting a dog takes about as much work (sometimes less) than buying a puppy from even a show breeder. I’ve done *both*.
Dogs also do not require loads of counseling (though training is important for *any* dog—regardless of where s/he came from). Dogs do not have “learning disabilities” nor go to college. And while dogs require patience (even ones who’s bad beginnings show—though a lot of them do not) it’s no where near the patience you need to raise a kid—especially a child who’s been through hell.
Anyone can adopt a dog from a shelter or rescue. It takes a very special human being to make the choice to adopt another human being who’s been through hell. To make the comparison is an insult to dogs and children who have been traumatized and/or are in the foster system. You may want to reconsider your argument—especially if you don’t want to be lumped in with the stereotype of the non-empathetic childless person (speaking as someone who’s been childless most of her life).
I did not know of this trick for getting ill. I do know from experience that if you press right under your nose before you sneeze it can stop it.
Gah I know it takes time to make the pages but I am always waiting for the next page it seems! The sign of a good story I think ^_~
The fact that the kids think they have to be impressive somehow to get adopted makes me sad. That they think it’s not about who you are, but about how cute you can look and how well you can dance or do some other talent. Didn’t “the fish” getting adopted teach them anything?
Yes, it is sad. But what else are they going to think? They’re eight year olds. Prospective adoptive parents apparently choose based on SOME hidden criteria, they have no way whatsoever of finding out what those people are thinking — and the results are crucially important to them! OF COURSE they’re going to make up some sort of answer that makes sense on an eight year old level.
We may smile at the kids who’ve got it wrong, but the truth is that humans have been doing essentially this since before we discovered fire. It’s why people sacrifice to gods, swear by crazy diets, and build skyscrapers without a thirteenth floor.
Unexplained + Vitally Important = Made-up Answer that people cling to tightly because they need to feel they have some means of control over the outcome.
As social animals, humans tend to have a strong drive to ‘be awesome’ as a criteria for success in social milieu. So, yeah, it’s no surprise that they strongly value ‘awesome’ behaviors and connect them to the idea of acquiring a parent, especially since almost all of them exhibit such behaviors in the process of getting adopted.
Oh how shaky Andi is, wonder if this is going at all like she thought it would. Also how piercing to her heart it must be to have her daughter giving her “puppy-eyes” with Todd’s eyes?
Of course it’s not going like she thought it would. Very few things in anyone’s life do (even fewer the really important things).
It is quite possible, though, that she underestimated just how much it could go not like she thought it would.
“No plan survives first contact with the enemy”
Ok, so now I gotta ask: Does that holding the nose trick actually work?
The trick I think Andi’s using is pressing upwards and inwards on the cartilege between the nostrils. Not hard enough to hurt or break anything, just hard enough to feel in your tonsils. It’s supposed to be a pressure point that counteracts nausea.
I’ve tried it on myself when I wasn’t feeling so good, and it seemed to reduce my nausea surprisingly rapidly (talking under 10 seconds here). I have not, however, tried it when I was on the edge of hurling, like Amanda is here. So, not so certain about this.
Interesting, I wasn’t familiar with that pressure point. The much more well-known anti-nausea pressure points are spots a bit up-arm from your wrist, which Sea-Bands take advantage of and an accupuncturist will also work with. There’s another set of points on the outside edge of your shin just below the knee that is quite effective, but I’ve never seen anyone other than an accupuncturist work with that—you might have to push too hard to make it practical with a finger.
Given the number of anti-nausea things I know, I’m surprised I’d never heard of the nose one.
I would bet that Andi knows this trick because it’s what her own mother sometimes had to do for her.
Thanks, I needed to know this. I experience persistent nausea due to my GERD and it usually happens at inopportune times (like in the cleanroom at work). I need more tricks in my bag.
OTOH, if this works Andi will be starting out on the right foot with Amanda.
I’ve heard of people prone to nausea using this trick.
In the real world, Andi wouldn’t be able to just drop by and adopt her again. CPS would have to go out an investigate and present to a judge why they thought she should/should not be allowed to have supervised visitation with Amanda for a time then gradually switch to unsupervised, then weekend overnights, then finally a slow transition to living with her with frequent CPS check in’s, both announced and unannounced along with a slew of other requirements like counseling. The process would take at least a year in most cases, particularly with Andi’s issues. Of course, this is a comic but while Tod dropping by and picking up a kid like he would a puppy at a humane society (which often have at least 1 day holds themselves) I was able to get past as he is a responsible, upstanding guy it’s hard to think of Andi doing the same with a troubled kid while she herself is troubled. This is not something any CPS caseworker in their right mind would consider a good idea because the potential for damage to Amanda is sky high. Imagine this child being given up by her mother AGAIN because she was too difficult? Or being taken away from her mother because she couldn’t handle it? This kid would be destroyed for life. But, of course, this ISN’T real life but whereas a lot of this comic seems like it really could happen in the world, the adoption procedures are definitely not anywhere close to realistic lol.
Above the shift key on your keyboard is another button that says “Enter” on it. I’ll gladly read your comment as soon as you figure out how to use this new key I’ve just taught you.
How about you get fucked, Gaben?
It depends on where you live. Some places are easier than others. If the child was willingly put up for adoption (and not removed from the home), then some places will hand them over with very little involvement.
” Of course, this is a comic but while Tod dropping by and picking up a kid like he would a puppy at a humane society”
That didn’t happen at all. Months went by ‘off camera’.
It also makes a difference whether this is a state-run or private facility.
I’ll own up that I play fast and loose with the representation of the adoption process. I just don’t know a way to make such a long process visually or narratively interesting.
Wasn’t there a months-long time skip before Todd was approved to adopt anyone between their first meeting and him adopting her, anyway? He didn’t just “pick her up”, there was in fact an approval process.
I mean, heavily truncated on the actual adoption process, yes, but we HAVE had time for Andi’s case in particular to be reviewed.
and in the strip linked to my username, there’s a passing nod to how long it took Todd to go through all the hoops for approval (4 months)
In the real world, would it even be possible for a single, twenty-something year old MAN to adopt a child, let alone one that is a girl?
Yes, why wouldn’t it be? All he would have to do is prove the financial ability to care for the child, and show the he has a support structure (family/friends) that could assist if needed.
I believe Jay is referring to the societal paranoia that leads people to believe that every man who likes kids is a pedophile.
I feel like unless the man came with a partner, he would be under more scrutiny than a woman. However, you also have to consider Selkie wasn’t just a normal child. Todd must’ve been background checked extensively by the government before being able to adopt her.
Not in this case. Amanda was not removed from Andi’s custody, she was voluntarily relinquished. There was no assessment made of Andi’s fitness as a parent at the time of Amanda’s birth, none was necessary. Since there was no determination of unfitness, combined with the assessment that Andi meets at least the nominal qualifications for having Amanda in her custody, the steps you outlined would neither be warranted or necessary. CPS should not be involved in any interaction between Andi and Amanda because there is no cause to do so.
CPS most likely would have been involved in the case with Amanda and the Sandersons, but that case would have been closed upon her admission to the orphanage.
No, LLT is correct. In the real world, because she relinquished Amanda, Andi would now have no more claim on Amanda than any other prospective parent.
Voluntary relinquishment means you give up all of your parental rights, permanently. There is a waiting period in some areas, but it will have expired long ago.
The more this story moves towards Amanda going off with Andi, the more nervous I am about Keisha’s mid-story arc. I understand it’s hardly reasonable for Keisha to go with Andi and yet I want to see Amanda prove she’s different from the rest, the ones who left, their friend who even made a pact with them. I want Amanda to show a clear, utterly positive trait (loyalty) that makes things harder for everyone.
What I don’t want is for Keisha at this moment to have to realize what a bad friend Amanda is (as… Heather?… was trying to tell her earlier), or for Keisha to be left here alone, the last of the three to be still an orphan.
Mind, I also don’t want to see a random person come in and adopt Keisha out of the blue just to avoid giving her the short end of the stick, either.
Best I can think of right now is Amanda refusing to go unless Keisha goes too, having people tell her that’s impossible, having her stick to her guns — and having the adoption have to wait a bit while people think through the possibilities. And maybe Keisha, initially glad that Amanda stuck up for her and not wanting to stay alone, eventually coming to the conclusion that she needs to convince Amanda to forget her for a while so that at least one of them can have a happy ending sooner rather than later.
Heck, maybe she even can’t convince Amanda the normal way, and so gets in a fight with her just to make her think they’re not friends anymore and to go with Andi. SOMETHING active, anyway. Something other than just Amanda heading off with the new mommy and Keisha being left all alone, after that heart-wrenching scene near the fence as their friend left.
I really like the idea of Andi and Todd adopting three kids between the two of them tbh
I’m guessing that Lillian will be arching an eyebrow at the very least, and Andi will just be going “Yeah… a trick my mom used to do to me when I got carsick” or something similar.
The big “its not colored in yet” question. Who is trying to steal amanda’s nose?
You’ll see in about fifteen-ish minutes. 😉
Andi eh? I wonder if there is gonna be any legal implications. I mean Todd had a no touchie policy on his first visit.
I was wondering this as well.
The circumstances are different. Andi is already Amanda’s legal guardian.
But *is* she already Amanda’s legal guardian at this time? She’s Amanda’s *biological mother*, but that’s not anywhere near the same thing.
When Todd was first invited to meet the children, he was in the process of selecting a child. Since Andi has only been authorized to take Amanda, that step has been skipped.
Lillian is also probably interested in how Andi will care for Amanda as well. Amanda is not easy mode after all.
Also, it’s less awkward and less societally stigmatized (for reasons both good and bad) when it’s a girl doing it to a girl than it is when it’s a guy doing it to a girl (or a girl doing it to a guy, for that matter).
Dave…is Andi doing whatever that is to keep her from puking?
I can’t imagine any other reason for her to do that, no.
Ember, look at the color of the sleeve and the color of Andi’s sweater.
He/she already addressed that.
Andi may be feeling very much out of her depth, but she’s got solid reflexes. ^^
Bare in mind this is the foster system; the expensive, complex, invasive form of adoption most people think about only applies to babies. It is free to very cheap to adopt from foster. I’ve spoken with many people on it and if a stripper can adopt then people need to stop acting like it is an impossible process.
I am surgically sterile (female) by choice and have birthed zero children. Foster is something I read up on a lot as part of my decision.
Most of the kids in foster do have bad histories… Either their parents died, or the children were hurt.
I buy/support dog breeders who focus on increasing the health and lifespan of the dogs… And people give me grief for it because there are “dogs in he pound” but ALL of those people birthed children.
Likewise there are actually people who would give you sh*t for adopting children instead of giving birth to your own. I see no problem with getting a pet from a breeder, though personally I go with rescue animals.
As a pet lover (one who calls her animals her “fur babies”) and a parent who waited a long time to have kids because she herslef had a horrible childhood, it really rubs me the wrong way when people compare pets to children or vice versa.
Children are not dogs. Dogs are not children. People who believe they are one in the same do neither justice.
While there are children who need homes, they are not dying in kennels or being put to sleep for overpopulation (at least not in the US). Likewise, most dogs live in the moment—thus adopting a dog takes about as much work (sometimes less) than buying a puppy from even a show breeder. I’ve done *both*.
Dogs also do not require loads of counseling (though training is important for *any* dog—regardless of where s/he came from). Dogs do not have “learning disabilities” nor go to college. And while dogs require patience (even ones who’s bad beginnings show—though a lot of them do not) it’s no where near the patience you need to raise a kid—especially a child who’s been through hell.
Anyone can adopt a dog from a shelter or rescue. It takes a very special human being to make the choice to adopt another human being who’s been through hell. To make the comparison is an insult to dogs and children who have been traumatized and/or are in the foster system. You may want to reconsider your argument—especially if you don’t want to be lumped in with the stereotype of the non-empathetic childless person (speaking as someone who’s been childless most of her life).
I did not know of this trick for getting ill. I do know from experience that if you press right under your nose before you sneeze it can stop it.
Gah I know it takes time to make the pages but I am always waiting for the next page it seems! The sign of a good story I think ^_~
Trying so hard that it makes you sick.
The fact that the kids think they have to be impressive somehow to get adopted makes me sad. That they think it’s not about who you are, but about how cute you can look and how well you can dance or do some other talent. Didn’t “the fish” getting adopted teach them anything?
Yes, it is sad. But what else are they going to think? They’re eight year olds. Prospective adoptive parents apparently choose based on SOME hidden criteria, they have no way whatsoever of finding out what those people are thinking — and the results are crucially important to them! OF COURSE they’re going to make up some sort of answer that makes sense on an eight year old level.
We may smile at the kids who’ve got it wrong, but the truth is that humans have been doing essentially this since before we discovered fire. It’s why people sacrifice to gods, swear by crazy diets, and build skyscrapers without a thirteenth floor.
Unexplained + Vitally Important = Made-up Answer that people cling to tightly because they need to feel they have some means of control over the outcome.
Even pigeons engage in superstitious behavior/magical thinking.
http://psychclassics.yorku.ca/Skinner/Pigeon/
As social animals, humans tend to have a strong drive to ‘be awesome’ as a criteria for success in social milieu. So, yeah, it’s no surprise that they strongly value ‘awesome’ behaviors and connect them to the idea of acquiring a parent, especially since almost all of them exhibit such behaviors in the process of getting adopted.