Dude. thats DAD material right there. Takin’ one for the ungrateful son, I know im being a little harsh on Benny there after coming to his side, but Avery knows what he’s doing (and here’s hoping he clues her in privately)
I would absolutely approve of the dadding there except for the gaslighting. He may not mean to, but he’s trying to put doubt in her mind as to whether he told her and she forgot and that’s not cool.
Better dadding, and setting a better example for Benny, would be “He’s here with me at the village, I’m so sorry I forgot to tell you. It won’t happen again.” Then he’s owning the stress she’s feeling and properly apologising for it.
I’ understand the confusion with gas lighting. What makes it not gaslighting is he’s apologizing and putting the blame/questioning HIM, on HIS memory for telling her/ not telling her, not on HER or HER memory and apologizing for it/taking responsibility and blame for it rather than passing it off, dismissing or ignoring that she is rightfully angry.. She’s not going to be happy with him or her son, but Brown is directing her anger at himself. HE is taking the blame and the hit. He’s not letting Benny face this alone.
As a victim of gaslighting from multiple abusers, this isn’t it.
He may not be acting in honesty, if he truly did not tell her… but he’s putting himself at fault by claiming he THOUGHT he told her but maybe forgot.
What I expect is happening is not the he forgot to tell her that HE was going, but that Benny was going WITH him, as Benny just showed up on his own. Benny snuck out, and Dad is trying to take the fall for that by claiming he thought Mom was informed of the last minute “change”.
He’s also apologizing PROFUSELY, which gaslighters refuse to do.
Under gaslighting, it would be, “Oh, I know I told you. YOU must have forgotten. Why are you so mad? Chill out. You’re overreacting.
This is a good husband who loves his partner and cares about her feelings, and a good dad by taking the lashing instead of the disobedient teenager. Benny already got a speaking-to, and I’m sure he’ll get another verbal lashing and some new expectations in regards to his behavior… but we can also see his guilt because this is unfolding in front of him. He feels so bad because his mom is so upset, on top of what Selkie just told him about how he’s lucky to have his mom, where she doesn’t.
Avery is very explicitly behaving as if he’s the one who forgot, not her. At no point does he question whether she’s the one remembering things wrong – he immediately cuts himself off to start doubting his own statement before even finishing it, and by the end is clearly acting like he realized he didn’t tell her like he thought he had.
She’s already lost two family members. Someone like that is probably going to be more sensitive than usual to anything that looks like she might have lost another.
This, SO FRIGGIN MUCH. Brown is reacting EXACTLY how my husband did when I was unaware he’d taken our son with him after our daughter died. Step one is help her calm down, step two is explain.
This legit happened to me. A friend went on vacation with us several states away, but apparently she had *forgotten to tell her mom*. Like her mom thought she was just visiting our house for a while. It was a Conversation when her mom found out she was like 8 hours away…
Oh kid is definitely grounded till he finishes university. My internal head canon lays the groundwork for Amanda and Benny to marry in the future. Watching his step dad earn major credit is teaching him about a lot of things. Respect, unconditional care, tough but fair love.
The big question for me here is if Carrie, in the long run, would prefer Avery to have been dishonest with her. There is a good chance that after two years or so, she would, and it would enter the family history as a positive thing.
Kids ALWAYS do things that are abominable, because you know, it’s age appropriate for your three week old baby to baptise you with cheesy yellow liquid baby poo; and it’s age appropriate for six to touch the Royal Doulton princess at Mummy’s friend’s house even after being told not to touch it; and it’s age appropriate for fourteen to not remember there is a difference between eight hours at BFF’s house again today, and nine hours in Beach City without letting Mum know. Kids are gonna kid.
In real life, it’s a grey area. Is Benny going to learn that he gets away with truancy and will always be forgiven? Or is he going to learn that you lie your way out of trouble when you are an adult? Is he going to learn that he has a strong dad now, who loves him? Is he going to learn that he hurt his mother when he disappeared, and that he never wants to do that again, because he wants to have a better relationship with the one bio parent he has left?
Well this is a webcomic – he’s going to learn what Dave needs him to learn, for the sake of the story.
Love that he’s being a good dad and taking the fall for Benny!
Benny is going to OWE him for this.
and Benny is going to HATE that.
Avery’s not about to let Carrie snipe his impending discussion about trauma-dumping with her discussion about sneaking out instead.
Based on Benny’s expression, I don’t think he expects Avery to let him off any lighter than his mom would have.
Dude. thats DAD material right there. Takin’ one for the ungrateful son, I know im being a little harsh on Benny there after coming to his side, but Avery knows what he’s doing (and here’s hoping he clues her in privately)
There. There he is. Our competitor for the dad of the year.
I would absolutely approve of the dadding there except for the gaslighting. He may not mean to, but he’s trying to put doubt in her mind as to whether he told her and she forgot and that’s not cool.
Better dadding, and setting a better example for Benny, would be “He’s here with me at the village, I’m so sorry I forgot to tell you. It won’t happen again.” Then he’s owning the stress she’s feeling and properly apologising for it.
He’s not gaslighting her, he’s trying to imply he forgot. He also explicitly apologizes.
I’ understand the confusion with gas lighting. What makes it not gaslighting is he’s apologizing and putting the blame/questioning HIM, on HIS memory for telling her/ not telling her, not on HER or HER memory and apologizing for it/taking responsibility and blame for it rather than passing it off, dismissing or ignoring that she is rightfully angry.. She’s not going to be happy with him or her son, but Brown is directing her anger at himself. HE is taking the blame and the hit. He’s not letting Benny face this alone.
As a victim of gaslighting from multiple abusers, this isn’t it.
He may not be acting in honesty, if he truly did not tell her… but he’s putting himself at fault by claiming he THOUGHT he told her but maybe forgot.
What I expect is happening is not the he forgot to tell her that HE was going, but that Benny was going WITH him, as Benny just showed up on his own. Benny snuck out, and Dad is trying to take the fall for that by claiming he thought Mom was informed of the last minute “change”.
He’s also apologizing PROFUSELY, which gaslighters refuse to do.
Under gaslighting, it would be, “Oh, I know I told you. YOU must have forgotten. Why are you so mad? Chill out. You’re overreacting.
This is a good husband who loves his partner and cares about her feelings, and a good dad by taking the lashing instead of the disobedient teenager. Benny already got a speaking-to, and I’m sure he’ll get another verbal lashing and some new expectations in regards to his behavior… but we can also see his guilt because this is unfolding in front of him. He feels so bad because his mom is so upset, on top of what Selkie just told him about how he’s lucky to have his mom, where she doesn’t.
Avery is very explicitly behaving as if he’s the one who forgot, not her. At no point does he question whether she’s the one remembering things wrong – he immediately cuts himself off to start doubting his own statement before even finishing it, and by the end is clearly acting like he realized he didn’t tell her like he thought he had.
She’s already lost two family members. Someone like that is probably going to be more sensitive than usual to anything that looks like she might have lost another.
Ooh, good point!
This, SO FRIGGIN MUCH. Brown is reacting EXACTLY how my husband did when I was unaware he’d taken our son with him after our daughter died. Step one is help her calm down, step two is explain.
Kid you owe your stepdad BIG for the save here.
He’s the dad that Stepped up
Steppity-step up dad ^^
My headcanon is she is cursing and speaking in sarnoth and Avery is just speaking calmly in english XD
That would make a lot of sense. Or maybe she speaks/exclaims in English mixed with Sarnothi words (mostly curses).
And the more I think about it, the more hilariously lively I can imagine it.
Benny may still be dead after this though.
This legit happened to me. A friend went on vacation with us several states away, but apparently she had *forgotten to tell her mom*. Like her mom thought she was just visiting our house for a while. It was a Conversation when her mom found out she was like 8 hours away…
Covering for him huh?
“Calming Carrie down for now” and “letting the kid off scot-free” are not the same thing.
“By the way, Benny – have I mentioned how my car could do with a bit of a wash and wax? Like, every week?”
Oh kid is definitely grounded till he finishes university. My internal head canon lays the groundwork for Amanda and Benny to marry in the future. Watching his step dad earn major credit is teaching him about a lot of things. Respect, unconditional care, tough but fair love.
The big question for me here is if Carrie, in the long run, would prefer Avery to have been dishonest with her. There is a good chance that after two years or so, she would, and it would enter the family history as a positive thing.
Kids ALWAYS do things that are abominable, because you know, it’s age appropriate for your three week old baby to baptise you with cheesy yellow liquid baby poo; and it’s age appropriate for six to touch the Royal Doulton princess at Mummy’s friend’s house even after being told not to touch it; and it’s age appropriate for fourteen to not remember there is a difference between eight hours at BFF’s house again today, and nine hours in Beach City without letting Mum know. Kids are gonna kid.
In real life, it’s a grey area. Is Benny going to learn that he gets away with truancy and will always be forgiven? Or is he going to learn that you lie your way out of trouble when you are an adult? Is he going to learn that he has a strong dad now, who loves him? Is he going to learn that he hurt his mother when he disappeared, and that he never wants to do that again, because he wants to have a better relationship with the one bio parent he has left?
Well this is a webcomic – he’s going to learn what Dave needs him to learn, for the sake of the story.
I feel the urge to point out that, for Carrie, Benny is also all that she has left of his father.