So, I think this may be the first time I’ve used a sketch day for a deleted scene. Not sure how often I’ll do this, because Sketch Days don’t tend to get the same amount of views as regular updates and this is essentially a comic page. But just this once and we’ll see how it goes.
So, my original drafts had a short scene with a gigantic Crook and Selkie’s Betta in the dream sequence. I decided to cut it so the dream sequence can focus on more important bits, and the Crook/Betta scene always felt a bit random and unnecessary to me. I intended for it to help transition to the next scene (clip-clop clip-clop clip-clop…), but I think even without this scene it transitions as well as a mad scientist’s castle suddenly becoming a southeast american desert backdrop can transition.
I like the “suspense build up” of this strip personally, and as a fan of non-sequiturs I love the “They will crush you with their magnificent dancing hooves!” line. But as a whole the scene isn’t really necessary, and I’d rather move it ahead.
There is a literary phrase I stumbled on to thanks to TVTropes called “Kill Your Darlings”. It means that if there is a scene you love so much that you insist it absolutely MUST be included in the story, there is a very good chance you are not viewing the scene objectively, and it is in the story’s best interests for you to step back, take a fresh look at the scene, and edit or cut it as needed. This is one of those scenes for me.
Kill your darlings, or they will crush you under their magnificent dancing hooves.
I don’t know. You said the scene felt a bit random and unnecessary but that is how dreams are. You dream something or are someplace in the dream then it shifts often to something odd that is not related fully to what you were doing or where you will go. It is entirely natural for there to be random nonsense in dreams. I sometimes find those are the best bit of the dream. Will be interested to see the next page to know if the copyroom floor was the right place for this scene.
I agree with vanya, dreams…. really make no sense at all, unles you’re gteting at a subconscious message rolled up in it somewhere. I think I had one once about 3d videogame zombies and jurassic park……
Zombie Apocalypse + Dinosaurs = Win!
I’ve always thought that the “murder your darlings” adage was horribly misapplied. That is, if you apply it as an admonition to cut the things you really, really like out of a story, or your best turns of phrases, you might be cutting things that you’re blinded by pride to notice aren’t actually that good, or stick out to the reader by being too clever, but it’s far more likely if you have any sort of taste that you’re just cutting out the best parts. Certainly, if I cut the five scenes from a story that I first developed and built the entire story around, I’d have absolutely nothing left worth reading–I’d have cut its heart out.
That said, I think you’re applying it correctly–when you write something you’re inordinately fond of, even though it doesn’t fit, rather that trying to shoehorn it into place, you should just suck it up and cut it. It hurts, but it makes the writing better, and I’ve seen that in practice in my own writing far too many times.
So good show deciding to cut things that, while you like them, don’t serve the story.
I think you made a good choice in cutting it. I do love that line though and I’m glad you included the deleted scene as a Saturday bonus sketch for us to view. I know that dreams often are fragmented or nonsensical when remembered after the fact but for a story it needs to have enough continuity to keep your readers interested. In a print format where you can just keep reading to the end of the story arc such a dream sequence might work but in a serialized format such as this you really don’t want to run the risk of your readers looking at it and thinking “what the heck does one post have to do with the next? Where did the story go?”
That was pretty much my thought. Real dreams may be fragmented, but for a story their needs to be some form of narrative structure.
Interesting. I’ve been a follower (and user) of TV Tropes for a while, but until you brought it up I had never heard the phrase “kill your darling” before. I suppose I’m going to have to do some deep digging now.
Just for the record, even though you decided this strip wasn’t required, I’m glad you posted it. Selkie’s expression in the last panel is haunting in a way. In this unfinished, sketch style, it really conveys the emotion of fear in her eyes. Maybe it’s because you scribbled around her irises rather than fully colored them in, like usual. I’d actually really like to see what a colored-in, properly drawn version of that panel looks like. Maybe it could be one of those incentive pieces you talked about earlier?
Anyway, that’s all I have to say. Thanks for letting me drop by, Dave.
OK. You’ve done it twice now. It’s spelled non-sequitur. “u”, not “e”!
Agh sorry. Dunno why I keep doing that. >_<
Hate to sound like a poug, but, where’s the new strip for Monday?
Gonna make meh crys man tears Dave.
Check now, according to my timestamps you posted a bit prior to update time.
Saw it, now I feel like a dumarse.
Hey, the cat looks like a prototype of Morty from Sue and Kathryn!