For proper handling of Amanda, always have a blast shield & a clear path to the exit in case of detonation. Consult your spiritual leader before confronting Amanda. Side effects may include bruising, name calling, or a pillow to the face.
Deep, soul-crushing regret is normal for the first few weeks, but if it persists, please consult your own sense of introspection and attempt to move forward.
“Lets Amanda wail on her”? I think you’re underestimating the power of this child (and her aim: pillows are awkward projectiles). The wailing on is simply a fact, happening wether it’s permitted or not.
Oh please, give her break ! She knows that already, and she’s trying to fix it as well as she can. We know she’s immature, we know she’s deluded, we all agree that what she’s done is terrible and can hardly be forgiven, but hey, she’s trying to make things right at least for her daughter. She /cares/ for her.
“Baby I lied to your Daddy about you living because I’m disgusting like that. Than spat on his own family knowing full well that he and his siblings are adopted. And got you back so he’ll try to give me another chance despite me not deserving it!”
I agree with your points other than her being disgusting – it’s her mother who should get that credit, because she’s the one who strongarmed Andi into giving her up – and her guilt for giving Amanda up for adoption without consulting with Todd is what made her lie, rather than admit that her own mom took advantage of the emotional situation to lean on her daughter to “save” her from becoming a teen mom.
Amanda’s first meeting with Andi’s mom after she learns the full truth will be… explosive. Perhaps the bomb squad should be alerted.
Andi ran with it for eight years,gave Todd tree ashes and insulted his family. She probably didn’t want him to find out that Amanda wasn’t dead so she did that.
And it seems REALLY likely she only got Amanda back to get Todd back.
Andi had no way of predicting what kind of family Amanda was going to end up with. She genuinely thought Amanda would end up with a family that would better provide for her than she and Todd could.
She can’t fix the past, but at least she doing what she can to make amends with Amanda and give her a better future.
There’s a tale or anecdote I read once, wherein this (Russian?) father was traveling with his small (4- or 5-year-old) girl, and she asked him a hard question about sex or sexual predators or something (like just wanting to know more about a term or the like).
And he stopped and considered. And then he put his luggage on the floor next to her and asked her to pick it up.
She couldn’t come close to lifting that thing off the floor. And he said, “What kind of a father would I be to let a little child carry a burden so great? That is why I wait until you are old enough to bear it.”
Sometimes when I get to thinking that “the full Truth” is the One True Way when it comes to communication, I think about that tale and reconsider. In part because, as Delirium once said, “Not knowing is all that makes it okay, sometimes.”
Our minds and souls were never made to handle all the evils and horrors of this world, and certainly not all at once. And that’s doubly true of children and doubled again in the case of a child who’s already damaged the way Amanda is.
And yet children themselves can be the “evils and horrors” to other children, as has already been proven earlier in the comic. They don’t need adult assistance for that. What they DO need, is to have clear limits that can’t be crossed without repercussions, and I’d set one at throwing a pillow in your mom’s face. It doesn’t have to be a horrible punishment, just not letting her play that video game for a day, for example (it’s horrible enough for a kid).
Actually, I would give Amanda a break on the pillow throwing, just this once. She is dealing with a horribly emotional situation and she has to suspect Andi is at least partly at fault. The pillow was unlikely to cause damage and is probably why Amanda threw it rather than something harder. Deal with the trauma first, and then work on discipline.
I dunno. Pillow to the face seems pretty mild to me. Nothing breakable, not a hard object… I’d draw the line at anything less pillow-like, but eh, pillow, whatever.
She needs and deserves a Mother who doesn’t tell 8 year lies about the fact her kid is alive. Or tries to get back with the person she traumatized,disrespected his entire family and couldn’t be bothered to tell the truth.
It doesn’t matter that she can’t change the past and her intentions were never to get Amanda into an abusive family. Andi has done things that she knew DID hurt people.
And yes, she’s coming clean, but she needs to come totally clean or all of this damage she’s caused will be for naught.
But the facts still stand that she’s done hurtful things that she knew would cause damage. She needs to come fully clean for herself as well as Amanda and everyone else involved. No half measures, not anymore. Only then can she start pulling herself up.
Giving someone up for adoption shouldn’t cause damage… if she had told Tod and he’d agreed this still would have happened. As much as I dislike Andi this isn’t on her, adoption is a completely valid option and other than the not telling the father thing it’s not a wrong thing to do.
It’s not Amanda she’s done damage to just by her giving her up for adoption. But the hurt she caused Todd by covering up the whole thing and giving him an urn of ashes. That was hurtful and she knew it. And since it was to keep him in the dark it is related to this.
And yes, it is on her. Very much on her. It was her call ultimately, and her choice to keep him in the dark. If these were real people, it would be irresponsible to not blame Andi.
How much you wanna bet Todd will blame her for that as well? As much as Andi thought Amanda would have a better life, she never gave Todd that option. In his mind this all could have been avoided if he had simply been allowed to keep her.
Ah, but that would have changed everything. If Todd hadn’t been childless, would he have ever adopted Selkie? Maybe, because all of his siblings are adopted… everything happens for a reason. Andi’s horrible decision negatively impacted Amanda and Todd, and arguably herself as well. But it did have a positive impact on Selkie. And since this story isn’t called “Amanda” or “Andi: A Cautionary Tale” we’ll have to assume that’s relevant. 😉
I have a feeling Todd would adopt a kid regardless of whether or not Amanda was (or had ever been) in his life. I don’t think it was Andi’s decision that necessarily influenced him at all.
we know andi screwed up. andi knows she screwed up. amanda has a lot of the picture and wil probably son get more. ragedumping is ugly even if the subject is imaginary. can we please give it a rest and stop beating the andi is horrible dead horse?
on another subject, i really hope andi fills todd in on amanda’s history before the big meeting.
Seconding this. I’m not generally an oversensitive person but the sheer level of vitriol is getting to me. Starting to not want to participate in the comments.
If Amanda really was as damaged as all the cautions given to Andi seem to indicate, she should stay locked into her room during the night. Seriously, you wouldn’t let someone adopt her without having pre-scheduled child psychiatric visits booked.
Yeah, before this arc, Amanda didn’t seem to be very damaged. To me she was just a bully that, as you said, had clear limits such as not stealing someones shirt and not letting someone else take the blame.
Andi is thinking beyond herself here. Finally a little progress. If only she remembered this before she dropped the whole, “He thought you were dead” truthbomb.
It’s becoming mildly obnoxious to see the same, “Andi is disgusting. Andi deserves to die. Andi is a horrible person. Andi is the worst. Andi is scum. I hate Andi. Andi is a horrible mother. Andi is awful. Andi is terrible. Andi sucks. Andi deserves to be punished. Andi deserves to be punched. Andi deserves to lose her daughter. Andi is a bitch.” Comments over and over and over again. I think everyone gets it at this point, holy hell. Coupled with the fact that any time anyone attempts to disagree, make a valid point or state an opinion that isn’t just, “Andi sucks.” they immediately get swarmed with, “Andi is terrible and you should think she’s terrible because I think she’s terrible.” comments.
I just really wish people weren’t so shallow. Like, we don’t even know the full story. Selkie’s mom could be awful for abandoning her child. We don’t ACTUALLY KNOW the concrete reason behind why her mom left her there we just ASSUME it was for Selkie’s benefit because of circumstantial evidence and the sheer fact that her mom is present as a ‘good guy’ character and therefor all actions are excused.
Like, seriously people, wait until the whole story is revealed before you condemn and judge people. Truck was more sympathetic once we found out more information about the kid. So was his father. Often times authors don’t make any one character inherently evil, they just have different values and goals from the main characters who are already painted as the saviour of all mankind.
Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Steel Ball Run case in point. Bad guy turns out to be the true hero even though he was presented as an evil basted SOLELY because he was opposed to our heroes; heroes who turned out to be WRONG, mind you!
I agree. There’s still a lot we don’t know – and a reasoned discussion of beliefs is different from this level of shitpiling. If someone disagrees about Andi (as to exactly how horrible Andi is), or feels there are questions remaining to be answered before passing final judgment, that’s okay, or at least, it should be. I am increasingly uncomfortable with the seemingly rage-driven negativity addressed to these people.
I have faith in Dave’s storytelling that Andi’s story, subsidiary as it is to Selkie’s, is far from done, and that we have not yet unpacked everything there is to be learned here. Even as awful as the Trunchbulls seemed at first glance, they were revealed to be deeply flawed, maybe, but not one-dimensional, not merely slapstick villains. And maybe I’m wrong, and in the long run Dave’s story will reveal that Andi really IS a simple horror with no further development potential, like Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter, but so far, my money is on it being more complex than that.
Either way, I’d really like to be able to discuss both what transpires in the strip and our evaluations and assessments (and maybe even predictions) without there being such virulent negativity and borderline verbal attacks just for having a potentially different position. (I mean, this isn’t CNN vs Fox News!)
I think the biggest reason for these strong feelings we as readers express about different characters stems from the problem (which isn’t really a problem at all!) of Dave’s ability to tell the story.
A good storyteller gets people involved with the characters, makes them people we can relate to, and often strikes some sharp chords from our own personal lives.
Ultimately, Dave’s such a good storyteller that we develop these strong feelings and opinions about the characters. And that’s a good thing.
There’s only one person making super hostile Andi-hate comments (unless the others were super trolls Dave eliminated). Making a huge deal about it makes it worse as it is highly unlikely that person is going to read even a little of what you wrote, but it is still bringing attention to Andi hate.
One person on this particular page. A few pages back there were a couple others who had commented on how much they hate Andi. Pretty much every page involving Andi has people saying how disgusting she is or agreeing with whoever started the initial comment. I don’t have a particular problem with someone disliking Andi for her lie. Yeah that’s a valid reason to dislike her, but completely ignoring other factors and possibilities is pretty baseless of them and just makes them seem like ridiculously uncaring and judgemental people
Meh. That’s an *improvement* then. Not even worth getting hung up about. And some of the people who are doing it are very obviously trolling or are coming off angry/mentally ill. The best way to deal with that kind of behavior is ignore it or call them on it directly versus making a topic about it—especially when it’s actually fading out.
I can understand why some people have strong reactions, though. Andi may be a likable person on her own (fun to hang out with once in a while and sympathetic given the emotional abuse she’s endured from her mom), but she also comes off as immature and selfish as someone in grownup/close relationships (parent, girlfriend, ex-girlfriend).
So it’s not a real big shock to see an extreme hate as a number of people have been hurt by someone like that—especially during childhood. It takes time to sort those feelings out and people often use the anonymity of the internet to vent in extremes.
Even your incomplete comic is enough of a fix. Wonder what will happen when they meet Todd.
UH Huh, I think with Amanda you gotta be careful and know when to back off let and when to come in and let her know that She’s got someone who cares .
For proper handling of Amanda, always have a blast shield & a clear path to the exit in case of detonation. Consult your spiritual leader before confronting Amanda. Side effects may include bruising, name calling, or a pillow to the face.
Deep, soul-crushing regret is normal for the first few weeks, but if it persists, please consult your own sense of introspection and attempt to move forward.
Well, it’s snowing, right? (see window in panels 1 and 3) Have one hell of a bonding snowball fight where Andi lets Amanda wail on her? 🙂
“Lets Amanda wail on her”? I think you’re underestimating the power of this child (and her aim: pillows are awkward projectiles). The wailing on is simply a fact, happening wether it’s permitted or not.
This is all your fault,Andi. You’re the reason she’s like this because you lied about her being dead.
Oh please, give her break ! She knows that already, and she’s trying to fix it as well as she can. We know she’s immature, we know she’s deluded, we all agree that what she’s done is terrible and can hardly be forgiven, but hey, she’s trying to make things right at least for her daughter. She /cares/ for her.
“Baby I lied to your Daddy about you living because I’m disgusting like that. Than spat on his own family knowing full well that he and his siblings are adopted. And got you back so he’ll try to give me another chance despite me not deserving it!”
……..yeah. No. She’s hideous.
I agree with your points other than her being disgusting – it’s her mother who should get that credit, because she’s the one who strongarmed Andi into giving her up – and her guilt for giving Amanda up for adoption without consulting with Todd is what made her lie, rather than admit that her own mom took advantage of the emotional situation to lean on her daughter to “save” her from becoming a teen mom.
Amanda’s first meeting with Andi’s mom after she learns the full truth will be… explosive. Perhaps the bomb squad should be alerted.
Andi ran with it for eight years,gave Todd tree ashes and insulted his family. She probably didn’t want him to find out that Amanda wasn’t dead so she did that.
And it seems REALLY likely she only got Amanda back to get Todd back.
That doesn’t makes sense since she tried to hide her from him even after she got her back.
She was clearly hitting on him when she finally came clean.
Andi had no way of predicting what kind of family Amanda was going to end up with. She genuinely thought Amanda would end up with a family that would better provide for her than she and Todd could.
She can’t fix the past, but at least she doing what she can to make amends with Amanda and give her a better future.
Seems like she’s more interested in not telling the ENTIRE truth because she knows that Amanda would despise her. And she’d deserve it.
Andi, maybe. Amanda, no. She needs and deserves mom she can love. Andi SHOULD protect her from the full ugly truth of this situation.
There’s a tale or anecdote I read once, wherein this (Russian?) father was traveling with his small (4- or 5-year-old) girl, and she asked him a hard question about sex or sexual predators or something (like just wanting to know more about a term or the like).
And he stopped and considered. And then he put his luggage on the floor next to her and asked her to pick it up.
She couldn’t come close to lifting that thing off the floor. And he said, “What kind of a father would I be to let a little child carry a burden so great? That is why I wait until you are old enough to bear it.”
Sometimes when I get to thinking that “the full Truth” is the One True Way when it comes to communication, I think about that tale and reconsider. In part because, as Delirium once said, “Not knowing is all that makes it okay, sometimes.”
Our minds and souls were never made to handle all the evils and horrors of this world, and certainly not all at once. And that’s doubly true of children and doubled again in the case of a child who’s already damaged the way Amanda is.
And yet children themselves can be the “evils and horrors” to other children, as has already been proven earlier in the comic. They don’t need adult assistance for that. What they DO need, is to have clear limits that can’t be crossed without repercussions, and I’d set one at throwing a pillow in your mom’s face. It doesn’t have to be a horrible punishment, just not letting her play that video game for a day, for example (it’s horrible enough for a kid).
Actually, I would give Amanda a break on the pillow throwing, just this once. She is dealing with a horribly emotional situation and she has to suspect Andi is at least partly at fault. The pillow was unlikely to cause damage and is probably why Amanda threw it rather than something harder. Deal with the trauma first, and then work on discipline.
I dunno. Pillow to the face seems pretty mild to me. Nothing breakable, not a hard object… I’d draw the line at anything less pillow-like, but eh, pillow, whatever.
I’m mostly with you, but wondering if the reaction would be different if Andi wore glasses.
Even a pillow can mangle glasses, especially if the frames are weak.
Dutch, not Russian; Corrie ten Boom related this incident about her father in the biography “The Hiding Place”.
She needs and deserves a Mother who doesn’t tell 8 year lies about the fact her kid is alive. Or tries to get back with the person she traumatized,disrespected his entire family and couldn’t be bothered to tell the truth.
It doesn’t matter that she can’t change the past and her intentions were never to get Amanda into an abusive family. Andi has done things that she knew DID hurt people.
And yes, she’s coming clean, but she needs to come totally clean or all of this damage she’s caused will be for naught.
But the facts still stand that she’s done hurtful things that she knew would cause damage. She needs to come fully clean for herself as well as Amanda and everyone else involved. No half measures, not anymore. Only then can she start pulling herself up.
agree
Giving someone up for adoption shouldn’t cause damage… if she had told Tod and he’d agreed this still would have happened. As much as I dislike Andi this isn’t on her, adoption is a completely valid option and other than the not telling the father thing it’s not a wrong thing to do.
But the point is she didn’t tell Todd. And if he had known and decided to take Amanda, Amanda wouldn’t have suffered like that.
It’s not Amanda she’s done damage to just by her giving her up for adoption. But the hurt she caused Todd by covering up the whole thing and giving him an urn of ashes. That was hurtful and she knew it. And since it was to keep him in the dark it is related to this.
And yes, it is on her. Very much on her. It was her call ultimately, and her choice to keep him in the dark. If these were real people, it would be irresponsible to not blame Andi.
How much you wanna bet Todd will blame her for that as well? As much as Andi thought Amanda would have a better life, she never gave Todd that option. In his mind this all could have been avoided if he had simply been allowed to keep her.
Ah, but that would have changed everything. If Todd hadn’t been childless, would he have ever adopted Selkie? Maybe, because all of his siblings are adopted… everything happens for a reason. Andi’s horrible decision negatively impacted Amanda and Todd, and arguably herself as well. But it did have a positive impact on Selkie. And since this story isn’t called “Amanda” or “Andi: A Cautionary Tale” we’ll have to assume that’s relevant. 😉
I have a feeling Todd would adopt a kid regardless of whether or not Amanda was (or had ever been) in his life. I don’t think it was Andi’s decision that necessarily influenced him at all.
we know andi screwed up. andi knows she screwed up. amanda has a lot of the picture and wil probably son get more. ragedumping is ugly even if the subject is imaginary. can we please give it a rest and stop beating the andi is horrible dead horse?
on another subject, i really hope andi fills todd in on amanda’s history before the big meeting.
Seconding this. I’m not generally an oversensitive person but the sheer level of vitriol is getting to me. Starting to not want to participate in the comments.
Agreed. I don’t think Dave even intended for Andi to be hated this much.
Agreed, on both points. Todd will need information before they can discuss the problem at hands and how to handle it…
If Amanda really was as damaged as all the cautions given to Andi seem to indicate, she should stay locked into her room during the night. Seriously, you wouldn’t let someone adopt her without having pre-scheduled child psychiatric visits booked.
From the little we’ve seen she seems to get in trouble a lot and has issues with her temper, but actually *does* have a limit.
Yeah, before this arc, Amanda didn’t seem to be very damaged. To me she was just a bully that, as you said, had clear limits such as not stealing someones shirt and not letting someone else take the blame.
Andi is thinking beyond herself here. Finally a little progress. If only she remembered this before she dropped the whole, “He thought you were dead” truthbomb.
It’s becoming mildly obnoxious to see the same, “Andi is disgusting. Andi deserves to die. Andi is a horrible person. Andi is the worst. Andi is scum. I hate Andi. Andi is a horrible mother. Andi is awful. Andi is terrible. Andi sucks. Andi deserves to be punished. Andi deserves to be punched. Andi deserves to lose her daughter. Andi is a bitch.” Comments over and over and over again. I think everyone gets it at this point, holy hell. Coupled with the fact that any time anyone attempts to disagree, make a valid point or state an opinion that isn’t just, “Andi sucks.” they immediately get swarmed with, “Andi is terrible and you should think she’s terrible because I think she’s terrible.” comments.
I just really wish people weren’t so shallow. Like, we don’t even know the full story. Selkie’s mom could be awful for abandoning her child. We don’t ACTUALLY KNOW the concrete reason behind why her mom left her there we just ASSUME it was for Selkie’s benefit because of circumstantial evidence and the sheer fact that her mom is present as a ‘good guy’ character and therefor all actions are excused.
Like, seriously people, wait until the whole story is revealed before you condemn and judge people. Truck was more sympathetic once we found out more information about the kid. So was his father. Often times authors don’t make any one character inherently evil, they just have different values and goals from the main characters who are already painted as the saviour of all mankind.
Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Steel Ball Run case in point. Bad guy turns out to be the true hero even though he was presented as an evil basted SOLELY because he was opposed to our heroes; heroes who turned out to be WRONG, mind you!
I agree. There’s still a lot we don’t know – and a reasoned discussion of beliefs is different from this level of shitpiling. If someone disagrees about Andi (as to exactly how horrible Andi is), or feels there are questions remaining to be answered before passing final judgment, that’s okay, or at least, it should be. I am increasingly uncomfortable with the seemingly rage-driven negativity addressed to these people.
I have faith in Dave’s storytelling that Andi’s story, subsidiary as it is to Selkie’s, is far from done, and that we have not yet unpacked everything there is to be learned here. Even as awful as the Trunchbulls seemed at first glance, they were revealed to be deeply flawed, maybe, but not one-dimensional, not merely slapstick villains. And maybe I’m wrong, and in the long run Dave’s story will reveal that Andi really IS a simple horror with no further development potential, like Dolores Umbridge in Harry Potter, but so far, my money is on it being more complex than that.
Either way, I’d really like to be able to discuss both what transpires in the strip and our evaluations and assessments (and maybe even predictions) without there being such virulent negativity and borderline verbal attacks just for having a potentially different position. (I mean, this isn’t CNN vs Fox News!)
I think the biggest reason for these strong feelings we as readers express about different characters stems from the problem (which isn’t really a problem at all!) of Dave’s ability to tell the story.
A good storyteller gets people involved with the characters, makes them people we can relate to, and often strikes some sharp chords from our own personal lives.
Ultimately, Dave’s such a good storyteller that we develop these strong feelings and opinions about the characters. And that’s a good thing.
There’s only one person making super hostile Andi-hate comments (unless the others were super trolls Dave eliminated). Making a huge deal about it makes it worse as it is highly unlikely that person is going to read even a little of what you wrote, but it is still bringing attention to Andi hate.
One person on this particular page. A few pages back there were a couple others who had commented on how much they hate Andi. Pretty much every page involving Andi has people saying how disgusting she is or agreeing with whoever started the initial comment. I don’t have a particular problem with someone disliking Andi for her lie. Yeah that’s a valid reason to dislike her, but completely ignoring other factors and possibilities is pretty baseless of them and just makes them seem like ridiculously uncaring and judgemental people
Meh. That’s an *improvement* then. Not even worth getting hung up about. And some of the people who are doing it are very obviously trolling or are coming off angry/mentally ill. The best way to deal with that kind of behavior is ignore it or call them on it directly versus making a topic about it—especially when it’s actually fading out.
I can understand why some people have strong reactions, though. Andi may be a likable person on her own (fun to hang out with once in a while and sympathetic given the emotional abuse she’s endured from her mom), but she also comes off as immature and selfish as someone in grownup/close relationships (parent, girlfriend, ex-girlfriend).
So it’s not a real big shock to see an extreme hate as a number of people have been hurt by someone like that—especially during childhood. It takes time to sort those feelings out and people often use the anonymity of the internet to vent in extremes.
I wish there were an “upvote” button on here, I’d click it because of
Your observations.