This is a very serendipitous comic; my own real life brother and sister came in to town from out of state this weekend. Great to visit with them again, been too long.
Ate WAAAAAAY too many fajitas Saturday night. XD
Marta and Antoine have been through a lot of character and background changes since their first draft. Originally Todd was the YOUNGEST of three siblings, Marta was married with two biological children, and Antoine was transgender. Over time as I worked out more of Todd's background it made more sense to me for him to be the first kid adopted, so Marta and Antoine got an age downgrade. I still think Marta will have two children down the line, but somewhere along the way Antoine became gay instead of transgender. I don't really have a point-to-point on how I came to change that part of his character; he just... started dialoging in my head as a gay man and I ran with it.
The correct term would be “transgender”, not transgenered.
And trans* people can still be gay!
woops. Thanks for the correction.
Hey, if you’re gonna go all Grammar Nazi I’ll tell you that Transgendered is still an umbrella term that a lot of GSM people (a bigger umbrella term, aint I a hypocrite?) don’t like, and rarely identify themselves as.
I think Antoine is an awesome character. We’re both big, black, gay, and have dreadlocks. Only he’s older and my dreads are bleached white at the ends. woo
Well, technically speaking “transgendered” means that “transgender” is a verb, which a) it isn’t and b) implies something happened to trans* people to “change” them from “normal.” So while some may identify with it, many people find it gives off the wrong impression, and just using “trans gender” or “trans*” is much less problematic.
“transgendered,” if it is a word, does not imply that “transgender” is a verb. It is like saying a cat is “spotted”; “spot” isn’t a verb in that context. Or “redheaded”. To me the -ed is a good way of indicating that what comes before it isn’t the person’s whole identity, just a characteristic they have. Identifying someone as a redhead calls up stereotypes since redhead is a noun. Saying someone is redheaded makes use of an adjective so doesn’t try to imply anything.
yeah, what dranorter said.
Unless the sentence is that he has BEEN transgendered, in which case the word “transgender” has been verbed.
… The word “verb” has also been verbed.
whoa, I’m gonna stop you right there. I dont like people who use the phrase “grammar nazi”.
Its not even an issue of grammar, its one of the fact that multiple trans* people have stated they dislike the word ‘transgendered’.
I prefer Transgendered over…. whatever else you could possibly call me other than human, or she. I like most female pronouns, actually.
The point is, I dislike political correctness run amok, so perhaps we should stop doing that also? Because even though you think you are using the politically correct term, you will find someone who dislikes your term, and prefers theirs.
I love the last two panels.
Beginner’s luck, heh. Riight.
One quibble: is the rash on Marta’s hand missing? Or is it on her other arm?
It’s on her right hand.
Way to rock the boardwalk, Selkie! 🙂
Love that there’s a gay character in the comic, though even if there wasn’t I wouldn’t care ’cause it’s awesome. But still, nice reader connection.
1) I don’t know the names of the squares of the English Monopoly, but isn’t the goal in that too to get all of one colour, so you can build on them? How can it be a good thing to get one of each colour (other than keep others from building on them)?
2) I’m very happy that you’re not sticking to hetero-normative relationships with the Todd’s (and thus Selkie’s) closest family – and for the record, it doesn’t feel to me at least that it was an after-thought or a “token addition”.
3) Slightly disappointed about you nixing the transgender thing, but I also totally understand about story characters rewriting themselves. You just have to go with the flow then, or risk complete writer’s block on that particular character.
4) How long a drive is it from Todd’s place to the family home?
5) I absolutely LOVE the tenderness gesture in the 4th panel, since it’s the one Selkie’s mom used. I think it’s very sweet the family started to use it.
If she had one of each color then got Boardwalk, then she controlled the most expensive monopoly on the board plus had control over whether or not the others got a monopoly at all.
Ok, so the English Monopoly rules are different too. Or they’ve changed since the one we have at home (which is actually older than me and was made back in the 70’s) came out. XD
That game ended much better than at my house. Usually there is a little blood shed and an hour with the carpet shampooer.
Oh, that figures, he’s gay. How original.
non-effeminate gay men are rather rare in media these days. so, yes, it is original.
I am reading this as sarcasm, but frankly Antoine being gay is kinda more of “out of left field” than “Oh well saw that coming”. Dave didn’t make him foppish or campy but a pretty hetronormative at first glance. So finding out he’s queer kinda was a bit of a surprised.
As for being “original” considering how many characters in webcomics these days range from serious to down-right insulting in portrayals of queer people. It’s nice to see a character not made into a cartoon of an identity and done tastefully. That’s original.
I didn’t feel that Antoine being gay had enough impact to count as ‘out of left field’. I was more like, “He’s gay? Eh, whatever.” It just doesn’t strike me as being particularly relevant to the story. Or at least/until he decides to have his current boyfriend meet the family, we’ll have to see then.
I wanted to handle the “he’s gay” thing the same way Jessie did when she casually name-dropped her girlfriend; establish it as part of who he is, without having a big fuss made.
I think you handled it well. Speaking as someone who is gay.
Agreed on good execution – it’s not a big reveal, it’s just part of his background info. But I didn’t see it coming. 😉
???
Dude, I dunno if you were trolling or serious, but if you’re serious then you’re a douchebag, if you’re trolling then you’re still an utter douchebag because there are just some things you shouldn’t troll over.
I’m not sure it’s trolling, but I am curious where he’s coming from on this.
Oh, sorry, I guess I should explain myself.
First of all, I am actually a troll, although I have been trying to stop and for the most part have. And especially for web comics and writers I like, I really try not to do it, but I guess it leaks out once and awhile, bad habits and all that.
Second of all, when I read it, to me, it was just like, “meh”, he’s gay. It didn’t really impact me one way or another, but to me it totally felt like the way you were trying to introduce his sexuality and to me, honestly, their sexual preferences are the last thing I actually care about when it comes to character development.
Although I’d actually really like to know how you go about deciding the sexual orientation of your characters.
Everyone else complaining, suck it.
I’d also like to add, people splitting hairs over terminology needs to get over it. He’s gay, he’s bi, he’s pansexual. God, who the fuck cares, and anyone taking the time to be offended by any of it needs to spend less time on the internet.
People need to spend less time labeling themselves based on who they are banging.
Dave, you’ll offend someone, no matter what you do, that’s why it’s the internet, do your thing and if you offended someone, smile, apologize (if you want to, I wouldn’t) and be on your way.
It’s one thing to be offended and another wanting to correct false assumptions. They’re not (at least always) the same thing. As for “who the **** cares”, to judge by the comments, quite a few people. 😛 Just because you don’t, doesn’t mean others didn’t. 😉
Labels are perfectly fine, and even good for some people. Learning about asexuality helped me to feel comfortable with who I am.
Thanks for clarifying.
As to the character’s orientations, really I just go with what “feels” right for them. In general I’m very fluid about character development, and I usually just roll with what pops in to my head unless it just blatantly does not work for some reason.
he just… started dialoging in my head as a gay man and I ran with it.
You do realize trans men can be gay too right? Maybe what you meant to say there character felt more like a gay cis man.
FTR I am a gay trans man.
That they can! I am a transguy married to a cisguy, incidentally. And although Antoine is ludicrously tall, he could still be a transdude. It isn’t necessarily apparent at all.
*Waves* So hey, seeing as I’m a cis woman married to a trans woman, does that make me your opposite number?
I apologize if I’ve offended. To be honest, I only know a handful of LGBTQ people, and I am bad at terminology. I’ve never even heard the term “cis guy”, for example.
I simply wanted to differentiate between “a homosexual male” and “a male who feels he belongs in a woman’s body”.
(I think many-or-most trans people would say that they are women/men, who do not feel happy in a male/female body; the trans girls I know are like that, anyway. Terminology and all that.) (In case you didn’t know what “cis” meant in this context, the fast definition is: “internal and external gender agree.”)
Dave, if you want not to offend, don’t EVER use the phrase “a male who feels he belongs in a woman’s body”. Or the inverse. EVER.
A trans woman is a woman who was assigned male at birth on the basis of her anatomy. She may be biologically male, or intersexed, but the important thing is that she is a woman. To be trans means that biology did not equal destiny. Transitioning allows a trans person to live their life as their own self.
A trans woman who is attracted only to men is heterosexual. If she is attracted only to women, she is homosexual. She may also be bisexual, pansexual, or asexual.
The correct gender pronouns are she/her/hers. Always. Even if you’re talking about the past.
The inverse goes for trans men and boys. Hopefully this is all clear. To recap, the difference between a trans woman and a gay guy is as follows:
Gay guy: is a man who is attracted to men. Can be cis or trans.
Trans woman: is a woman who had to transition to live her life as herself. Can have any sexual orientation.
Yeah, I can see where I messed up there. Sorry.
its a minefield of a topic, dont take it too hard ^^
Dave, as a webcomicist with an active fanbase, you’re in a MUCH better place to write about difficult – minefield, like Kotih said – issues, because you’re very likely to get instant feedback, if and when you make mistakes. Also, I don’t think I know any transgender people who weren’t happy to let you know which bit you got wrong and which you got right, since the more people know about something, the less likely they’re to react hostilely out of the fear of the unknown. 🙂
I agree with this very strongly. I’d much rather be educated about an unfamiliar topic than continue to stumble blindly.
that sounds more like inter-sexed to me.
Dave, if you want to not offend, kill yourself. Or never write anything again. Because there will always be someone to be offended at something, and no matter how carefully you tiptoe, someone will INVENT a reason to be offended, because that is how society seems to operate nowadays.
You write a beautiful, insightful comic about people who look and feel real, you do it damn well, with heart and soul. Pay attention to the words of others as you see fit, but don’t ever let it shape the characters who spring forth from your heart. Because it would break mine to see you broken, the same way I was, by the vicious and vengeful legions of the Offense Brigade.
(I don’t care if this comment goes public; it probably should not, for the sake of the brevity of your comment page. I am not writing it for anyone else, in any case. I am writing it for *you*. Stay true to yourself. Stay beautiful.)
I have no intention of killing myself over the issue. 🙂
I agree that one can’t stress over offending people to the point that it hinders their endeavors or holds them back out of fear. But at the same time, I try to treat people with respect, and I think that much at least is important to strive for.
And thank you, very much, for the words of encouragement. 🙂
WHAT IS WITH THE ANNOYING COMMENTS UGH
More corrections!
It is possible to avoid offending people! It is hard, but possible, and saying “Oh, who cares,” is incredibly rude and offensive! And it actually makes the issue WORSE! (Isnt that odd? Dismissing something doesnt make it go away!)
Ignorance doesn’t offended me. Holding on to ignorance and refusing education is what offends men.
Correction “offends me”
Cis is simply the term used to differentiate people that identify with that gender that they are assign too.
…
I’m not really a fan of this revelation. For no reason other than it just feels like the whole concept of “social acceptence” is getting piled on and it’s starting to feel fake.
It might be the plethora of comments on it that make you feel that way- Antoine is just a random character at this point, he hasn’t gotten a chance to develop very much so it’s kind of hard for it to feel “fake”
It’s a balancing act, to be sure. I try not to pile my own opinions on TOO thick, but these things seep through. 😡
Dave> There was actually a pretty big discussion about it on another popular webcomic I read: Sister Claire. About a month back when she was discussing the gender nature of the evil cat as being non-gender because it is more of a “many” than a “one”, the subject came up and people divulged a lot of info on the proper terms and what they mean. You might be interested to look it up. I’d give you the link but her back button is funny and I can’t find it at present.
http://www.sisterclaire.com/blog/4494/ this one?
i find its best not to stress technicalities, its a very confusing subject with no one really agreeing on whats PC in the first place, i find its nearly impossible to avoid offending someone while complying with someone else
hell i even get confused and im TG x.x
it did kinda surprise me he was gay one of those “woah what?” moments, then it went back to normal as everything else
I actually like the fact that various character’s sexual identity has come up as a matter of course and isn’t treated as a big deal. It doesn’t feel like Dave is trying to hammer home a big point that ‘gay people are just like everyone else’ because all of the characters are well rounded and the fact that Antoine has a boyfriend and Jessie has a girlfriend are just incidental parts of their characters. It’s sort of the opposite effect of the feeling you get when someone says, “but some of my best friends are gay (black, latino, Liberal, etc)” after making an offensive comment about said group. Way to make different ethnicities and sexual identities just a part of life, Dave!
Hear, hear!!! I concur with everything you said, QueenB. The fact that the siblings are different nationalities, and the fact that Antoine is gay is just so matter of fact on here it makes my heart sing! So rarely are we treated as just like everyone else, instead of ‘their side’ pushing against us and singling us out, or ‘our’ side getting obnoxious and up in people’s faces.
This is exactly how we want to exist – we’re just people, average joes like everyone else, and we want to be treated as such. Not as special, not as evil, just as equal.
Well done, indeed, Todd. Bravo.
Actually, they’re all the same nationality: American. They’re of different ethnicities.
and Rahna, you could have gone the rest of your life without knowing anything about any of the characters in this comic.
I will, now that you’ve said that.
Perhaps I should’ve added “I wish I had” to my last comment.
Rahna, this is not the first time that this comic has featured gay characters in a very understated but indisputable manner. Did you honestly not realize that?
I hope I am just mis-reading this, but I hope you’re not giving up the comic over this.
Antione’s gay…I could’ve gone the rest of my life without knowing that.
Can I just say that I hate the term heteronormative? It feels like nails on a chalkboard whenever I hear it. I know it has been around awhile, but it feels like it just got popular recently. I don’t think there is anything normal about any relationship, gay, straight, what have you. Each is its own thing. There is no such thing as normal.
If you think of the society at large, most people would still reply straight being the norm, when it comes to romantic relationships. And it’s only been very recently that non-hetero couples and lifestyles (I hate using “lifestyles” here, but I literally can’t think of another English word for this) are getting recognition from legal systems and non-parody media. In this context “heteronormative” works to imply how only hetero couples and relationships have been considered the norm for a very long time. Maybe some day that term no longer has a need, as everyone’s being treated simply as another human being. 🙂
Well, it makes sense that Selkie is a shark. 🙂
Getting back to the actual comic (sort of), this reminds me of a game of Risk I was in. When the cards were dealt at the start I got the entire continent of Australia. This gave me an enormous advantage and the other players (4 or 5, I’m not sure) immediately made an alliance to destroy me first and then fight among each other. They succeeded, but it took most of the game before they managed it. So their assessment was accurate. (Mwa-ha-ha!)
I’m curious to see what karaoke night with the siblings will be like. Antoine’s sexuality was an unexpected surprise, but then after I saw that part I went back to “ok. when are they doing karaoke?”
I don’t know why anyone is making a big deal about Antoine being gay. It didn’t seem like anything huge the way it was represented in the comic, and it’s not really that big a deal in real life either (unless you are sheltered or a bigot). The fact the family that applears to have kids of 3 different race is more of an eyebrow raiser to me. Are they all adopted?
Yep. All three are adoptees.
Everyone? I know I’ve brought up some heated subject matter here, but I’m seeing a few instances of people attacking each other in comments. Lets not make things personal, please?
realistically you may end up having to close the comments on this one before it most likely gets out of hand.
i do wish this could be continued civilly but i dont think it will work out. lets hope though
I reeeaaaallllly don’t want it to come to that. 🙁
I would hate having to deny ANY reader a voice or a chance to express their opinions/concerns/criticisms.
agreed ^^. hopefully it calms down
For those interested, a glossary of related terminology.
http://www.lauras-playground.com/transgender_terminology.htm
Thanks for a great comic. I found it by accident through another comic (I think Girls With Slingshots) and as a single father have enjoyed watching some of the family hijinxs, confusions, and what not. My daughters are not adopted but just as lively as Selkie, so I see some relatable items there. Food, shoes, and other kids being the root of many issues, I applaud you and hope to read more. later Days.
For 20 years I lived with a woman whose birth certificate said Male. She was part of the Trans community before she had her operation (several years before I met her) but drifted away once she’d had her problem sorted out by surgery, because she no longer felt herself to be trans. As far as she was concerned, she had become physically the woman she should always have been. To her the term transgendered referred to her when she was in transition between being physically male and physically female and once that part of her life was over, she was just like any other straight woman. I just happened to be her straight male partner. My point is that the LBGT community terminology can be as personal and open to individual interpetation as any other specialised set of terms.
On a slightly different note, still loving this comic. Every Friday I look forward to catching up. Keep them coming, Dave, hopefully for many years.
Jesus Christ, is everyone in this comic something?
They probably had Monopoly at the orphanage, so Selkie has had some practice on what is the best deals.