I like to think the orphanage staff disabled the game system’s wireless capabilities. On-line gamer chatter is not a thing youngin’s need to hear.

Slightly related! I got curious and looked up XBox Live clips on Youtube. I think this is funny:

↓ Transcript
Cabbage Patch Commandos is a kid-friendly homage to Team Fortress 2. Instead of bullets and blowing up, you have carrot juice and fainting, and the pyro's fire is more like cartoon fire, where you just go "BOMPH" and turn into a burnt matchstick with blinking eyes.